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Circumstances permitted me to overhear and oversee an awkward one-way conversation between four men, or rather between one man and three men. The three men were co-workers and friends (easy to tell by their comfortable banter) and all were cis-chad cis-dudes (one was black); the fourth man (white) entered the scene as an outsider, and attempted to ingratiate himself.
I should mention here that the fourth man was very tall and, though these things are normally outside my field of discernment, exceptionally good-looking. This detail is important, as you’ll learn.
Tending to my task, I got sucked into their conversation when it sounded like it was going south. That’s when I paid more attention and noticed the disconnect between the cleft-chinned outsider’s overall dominant male appearance and his weak, clumsy, try-hard bantz. He seemed unable to stop trying to impress the three men and every sentence he uttered came across more forced than the one before it. His joshing fell flat, and his anodyne remarks went unreciprocated. (Male friends, or even polite strangers, will at the least acknowledge another man’s trite observations with a head nod or a “yup uh huh”.)
It wasn’t long, but it only took about two minutes of this painful interlude before the three men began the process of blatantly disengaging from the fourth man’s effortchat; they looked around the room, at their feet, squinted, and exchanged knowing glances. Worse still, when Good-Looking Goober finally and blessedly took his leave, he had to do it on a rocket ship of cringingly awful parting words. “ALL RIGHT THEN GUYS I’LL SEE YOU GUYS AROUND…”…. turns to walk off, turns back again to say more… “…OH AND YOU GUYS SHOULD COME TO BAR [X] THEY’VE GOT A GREAT HAPPY HOUR I’LL BE THERE YOU SHOULD GO OK PEACE BROS”, his head bobbing enthusiastically throughout his long goodbye.
I should add that the three jockos had welcomed GLG warmly, (like I or any other man would have), probably figuring a man that good-looking would be cool in all other ways. Then, as GLG revealed himself to have the soul of a beta male trapped in the body of an alpha male, a funny thing happened….his audience couldn’t help show their disgust. One man rolled his eyes while GLG bantzed nerdily. After GLG cleared from earshot, another man muttered “Jesus”.
The entire cringenette was a sterling demonstration of what I call the Assumption of Alpha Fallacy. For primal reasons beyond the conscious ken of normies (but available in technicolor apprehension to guests of the Chateau), we assume good-looking and/or masculine men will have the coolness of personality to match. When our assumption fails, we can turn almost cruel in mocking the instrument of our disappointment.
It’s a similar dynamic that happens when a girl meets an attractive man, assumes the best about his social skills, and is bitterly disappointed to the verge of spite when he stumbles and bumbles to deliver exceedingly bland rhetorical enticements like a typical incel dork.
In this sense, the GLG man is akin to the Illusionist Hottie, except what takes a few dates and a disrobing to uncover the normally concealed Nottie underneath the Illusionist Hottie can take as little as a minute of awkward convo to expose the Beta Male Soul lurking in the vessel of the Assumed Alpha.
The same awkwardness and disappointment that men feel when an Assumed Alpha in appearance can’t project that alpha maleness in his personality is the awkwardness and disappointment (with the added astringent of spite) that a woman feels when an Assumed Alpha’s charmless flirting doesn’t live up to her expectations set by his appearance.
It’s not wrong to assume a hot babe is an alpha female. No matter her personality, her hotness guarantees that most men will dream about fucking her and sucking up to her for the small chance of realizing their dream. But it IS a mistake (not always, but often enough) to assume a good-looking man is an alpha male based on nothing more than his appearance, because for men their mate worth (aka coolness) is predicated on more, much more, than their looks. The truth that lad and glam mags rarely explore is that men’s personality is a big factor in their attractiveness to women, and over a time spanning longer than an introductory glance and hello a man’s personality is MORE relevant to the impression he leaves on women AND on men.
Women simply have a lot bigger margin for error in the personality department, which is why crazy hot crazy psychobitches can extract a lot of loving and providing from men who haven’t prepared themselves for female dysfunction through the accumulation of a rich romantic history boning hotties.
In descending order of importance, here are the female attractiveness traits that men desire in women:
In descending order of importance, here are the male attractiveness traits that women desire in men:
Psychosocial dominance (game).
Cool men are embarrassed to be in the company of a socially awkward nerdo, and when the nerdo happens to be a tall good-looking goober the embarrassment is felt just as strongly, but now coupled with a feeling of foolishness for having assumed the best about the goober.
That feeling is the same feeling women have when a good-looking man approaches them and destroys the illusion of alpha sexiness by speaking the language of beta loserdom. But it’s even worse, because women are more entitled than are men, and there aren’t nearly enough alpha males to satisfy all the women who want them. So when a women’s expectation of thrilling courtship with a man who APPEARS to be a top 5% alpha is dashed by his sloppy execution, she burns with resentment at the lost opportunity for love, and retroactively blames the Assumed Alpha for her entire history of dating woes. Her blame can shoot out of her in sudden flares of anger, in the form of a scorching shit test or nasty rejection and departure.
This is why I have observed that oftentimes the men who do really well with women are those who are very charming but aren’t especially handsome and are therefore unburdened by women’s expectations. It’s better to pleasantly surprise women than to unpleasantly disappoint women. The Assumed Beta with Game will arouse women to a deeper and longer-lasting intrigue if his alpha personality puts the lie to his beta phenotype. The Assumed Alpha, with inverse alacrity, will disenchant women to a shallower and shorter-lasting curiosity if his beta personality puts the lie to his alpha appearance.