Not an AFC has a Game question,
Off Topic:
Hey Heartiste, could you tell me if my answer is good, or how to deal with this kind of banter?
I have a female coworker which is somewhat attractive, but I don’t want anything with her (I am married). That said, I enjoy some playful banter, but I dont want to come across as hitting on her, while also not looking like an AFC.
Chat through work chat system:
Me: oops
Her: what?
Me: accidently called you; guess it didnt go through
Her: missing me? 😉
Me: phat fingersI feel my answer was subpar. What do you say? Thanks!
The dreary cube farms of Gynecorp, Inc are a minefield for men these days. Never mind office affairs; if you so much as cross paths with a cunt having a bad day, you can be frog-marched to HR for accusations of looking at her funny. Ironically, this reality calls for MORE Game, not less, because a man who has mastered the Art of Charm can sidestep a lot of Daisy Ballcutters.
Not an AFC is perfectly justified in wanting to keep his Game sharp, even in the caustic anti-human office environment. Men get a thrill from pleasing women, and likewise women get a thrill from being pleasing to men. Harmless flirting is loathed by the Feminist Shrike Demasculinization Post-Industrial Complex precisely because it reaffirms the sexual polarity of men and women and their unequal, unidentical humanity.
Rambling out. To his specific Game question, I don’t see anything resembling AFC (Average Frustrated Chump aka your mass produced beta male) behavior in his replies. “phat fingers” isn’t beta i.e., needy, desperate, lame, awkward, or overly aggressive…but neither is it the pinnacle of pussy parting wordplay. If Not an AFC had wanted to juice this chat beyond the bounds of predictability, and torque the girl’s obviously flirty prior come-on, a better reply would have been something like this:
Her: missing me? 😉
Not an AFC: you’d like that
When a girl offers up a blatantly flirty jab, that is no time to go *ahem* soft. She’s wanting you to rev the engine a little. Not too much…you’ll scare her off. Just a little rumble from under the hood to split shine the seat her bum nestles in.
Readers familiar with Game concepts from the CH archives will recognize a few principles put to use in the “you’d like that” reply. One, it’s a subtle DQ (disqualification) tactically removing the man from active pursuit of the woman. (DQs lower bitch shields aka female self-entitlement defenses.) Two, it flips the script and alters the perception of the interaction to one in which the girl is chasing the man. Three, it assumes the sale.
If more White men were bold this way in the office, our numbers would be insurmountable and the Gynecracy would collapse from internal contradiction.
By the way, with female tingles comes female deference, and with female deference comes big proud clanging balls in men returning to the spot where the corporate world scooped them out and fed them to the cats of spinster misfits.
Her: missing me? 😉
Me: That’s what Freud would say. Now the Prince would say something rather different – eh? Me? Mmmm – let’s see?
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Too wordy.
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What the F does that even mean? He wasn’t talking to a comic book nerd. It was a woman. Pretend she’s an eight-year old brat and try again.
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I didn’t understand it either
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Freud as in Freudian slip (that is what she was implying with her quip after all). The Prince as the in the title of the tome by Machiavelli, or as in the Prince of Darkness (Satan) – take your pick – and the open implication is the whole point there (let her respond and calibrate accordingly). “The Me? Let’s see?” is to cover my ass employment-wise (making available a case for plausible deniablity if needed).
Fuck – if she is akin to 8 -year old brat why the fuck would I be even talking to such a waste of head space? But alright – maybe I’ll try on your advice for size, go- forward, and see what happens – something like:
“hey sweetie me miss you sooooo much (cheeeky squeezes)”
Does that cut the cheese in your estimation?
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i know what a freudian slip is. it just didn’t make sense in the context of the convo. gotta keep things simple and direct. also have to say things that will lead the conversation in the direction you want it go. throwing stuff out there that a girl won’t know how to respond to isn’t going to get you anywhere and she’ll probably just drop the conversation out of frustration or lack of interest.
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AFC bellyaches too much.
Banter away.
If she takes it the wrong way (which she probably will), no harm done, he doesn’t want her anyway.
Just needs to make sure she doesn’t sue him for ‘harassment’ or get him f1red.
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@wild man
You’re making me weep for western civilization. Please read some game books and start from day one of the archives here.
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ROESTED
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oy woody allen, keep the freuds to yourself and keep it short with chicks
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You forgot the last part:
* tips fedora *
Even I know this one sucks, mate!
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I don’t own a fedora (gey). Maybe *strok’in the beard* (I got a big ole beard). But if people mostly aren’t getting the sentiment here, I guess you are probably right she probably won’t either – so this approach sucking might be final conclusion.
Look – the idea was, “hey – you caught em out, I WAS thinking about you, I was thinking about bending you over my knee and spanking that fine ass of yours, then gifting you with a shagging you will always remember, and then letting you kneel and worship before your god – my cock ….. but then again maybe I am just grooming you for a more nefarious purpose involving the intrigue of office power dynamics – you game baby?”
Fuck – maybe I’m a freak (but I guess I like it that way).
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you got both a fedora and a freudian lithp?
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Show don’t tell. Restrain don’t explain. Mindtrain the hindbrain.
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Let memes do the heavy lifting, midwit.
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or
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or
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or
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memes are male thing. women DON’T like memes.
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First !!!
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No you are second, son.
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SHE: missing me?
YOU: In your dreams.
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Two quick points:
1) In theory, anything you type can be archived, and then subsequently used against you in e.g. a sexual harassment or divorce lawsuit.
2) The jewess Lois Lerner, at the IRS, knew that federal law required all emails to be printed on paper and archived [and of course the email was also archived on an email server], so she went to the Information Technology dudes, and asked them whether the IRS’s instant messaging service was being archived on a server somewhere, and they said “No,” and so she switched to using IM instead of email. [And then somehow she convinced the blind dude to destroy her harddrive or WTFE. Which I guess, at the end of the day, is all one giant moot point since obviously the law of the shkotzim does not apply to The Chosen.]
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well, with ((frontruning)) for Massa come priviledge not available to the hoi polloi.
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[…] Harmless Flirting To Keep Your Game Tight And The Women Tingly […]
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Her: Missing Me?
You: I cannot stop thinking about you!
Wait for her response
You: oops. Wrong chat. Sorry.
Agree and amplify, then a little shiv. The sorry is the coup de grace.
[CH: there’s a CH post in the archives about this. I believe it’s called Non sequitur game or False identity game.]
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used “oops, wrong lilly” recently. very satisfied, thanks 🙂
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Missing me?
Nope
Missing me?
Only part of you
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Interesting! Thanks mate!
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his response was alright. not great but not really beta. just kind of a placeholder.
probably the optimal type of reply when not wanting to escalate sexual tension, since they’re on a work chat system this is sensible enough.
More intriguing is the fact that she initiated the flirting. She is either the type of girl who flirts constantly with every guy just for the attention, or she is legitimately attracted to him already.
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SHE: missing me?
YOU: desperately
wait a few beats
YOU: desperately hungry. Make me a sammich.
Go big or go home.
[CH: :thumbs up:]
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HAHAHA!….love it!
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Winner!
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winner!
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Not bad, not bad at all.
Liked the pod too, back in the day.
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Good one! Thanks!
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“If more White men were bold this way in the office, our numbers would be insurmountable and the Gynecracy would collapse from internal contradiction.”
They would have to know it as a cultural trope for that to happen. This is all nice and what not, but it is better to just openly wreck this system, formally as one clenched fist (which you cannot do by trying to ‘navigate’ the system or by trying to bang each others’ wives) and just get this over with. Jedi mind tricks are getting us laid (but not reproducing) but they are not going to make this problem go away. You are miserable because you are free.
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Her: Missing me?
You: Nahhhhhh…
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Same level as mine, perhaps worse: in the best case, acts like a placeholder (like mine); worst case, looks dumb, like you have no idea on what to say.
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“Missing me?”
“Immeasurably..”
(but say it with obvious deadpan…admittedly, it works better when they can see your face and not just hear the tone in your voice)
[CH: yeah that requires face-to-face context. in chat, it’s gonna land heavy.]
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I thought they were on the phone, not texting. My bad.
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It always worked for me, because the word is obviously so non-conversational and over-the-top, it can’t be taken seriously.
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depends on the girl…dumb girls won’t know the meaning…”impudently” is also worth a try…on a smart girl…”bring me a beer” works on all
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Dumb girls won’t know the meaning… you say that like it’s a bad thing?
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Her: missing me?☺
Not AFC: project much?
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I prefer Not AFC’s original to this. ‘Project’ is technical jargon to a child-like mind and will come off as try hard. They’ll see through it. They understand it superficially but it requires processing that they are not going to do. Keep it simple, keep it school yard, keep it adolescent. You’re teasing not analyzing.
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Agreed. It’s a good flip of the script but won’t produce the vag tingles.
Her reply reminds me of a silly joke i heard:
Her: missing me?
Not AFC: suuure. lol.
Not AFC: Hey im going to Mee’s Chinese restaurant this week..it’s new..great food. The owner, Jack, treats me like a king…and his wife Mrs. Mee.
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I know brit women (=ultimate hard work, for not a lot, but not expensive at all) who soil their gussets at the mere phrase “Big hands”, as in, “Sorry darlin’, din’t you know I’ve got big hands?”. I’ve heard them repeating it among themselves(i.e. bellowing at their girlfriends over the half-pint of cheap white in the boozer). “Big hands!” “Oooh, big handzzz…”
Useful supplement to ‘phat finger’ (they can skitter away guiltily from the dread subject of Fat, and literally clam up in shame and apprehension of what you might say about them).
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Her: miss me?
Bundy: with every bullet so far.
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I like to shoot at cans. Tin cans … Mexicans … Puerto Ricans …
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Her: missing me? 🙂
Not AFC: Any reason I should?
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[…] Source: Heartiste […]
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Her: missing me?
Not AFC: some of you
—
Related: early this AM, post coitus, my wife said, “I’m going downstairs to do my devotional.” I replied, “You already did.”
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That one was awesome
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You & I need to post on our own blogs more.
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“Me: phat fingers”
he’s justifying himself, not good. any of the suggested – in your dreams, you’d like that, you wish – would be better. plus they’d pass the hr jumbotron test.
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Those are all spergy shutdowns.
There is a difference between subltle disqualification/keeping hope alive, than a nuclear bomb
Girl: you miss me?
Sperg Wannabe PUA: HAHA IN YOUR DREAMS!!
The point isn’t nessesarily to take you out of the pool of suitors, the point is to display a flirty thirstlessness.
I think this point is important, and lost on many budding poon slayers.
Heartsie still has the best reply so far, short, flirty,
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i get your point but “in your dreams” and “HAHA IN YOUR DREAMS!!” are not the same line
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Her: Miss me?
Unleashed Dark Triad: not with this new scope
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Ah shit, somebody made that joke already
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Chick: missing me?
You: what am I missing?
Chick: missing me?
You: No, not really. Wait…maybe
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Chick: Missing me?
You: What EXACTLY am I mising
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Thanks for the tips, Heartiste!
I’ve been married for so long that my game is now pretty rusty (has never been really great, but I wasn’t useless either).
Sometimes I struggle with the balance between some light harmless flirting and or getting “too real”, and I tend to sabotage myself by toning down… maybe a little too much, heh.
This same girl was full of kino and light hits in my arms in a company happy hour; she seems dig me, but can send mixed signals from time.
Again, thanks for taking the time to answer, and I will certainly dig deeper into the Chateau archives!
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Her: Missing me?
Me: depends
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The dreary cube farms of Gynecorp, Inc are a minefield for men these days. Never mind office affairs; if you so much as cross paths with a cunt having a bad day, you can be frog-marched to HR for accusations of looking at her funny.
I worked at just such a cube farm a few years ago. A coworker was the office It Girl. She was a crunchy granola liberal who once lived in Portland, Oregon. She looked and talked like a real-life Daria. She knew this, and it amused her.
I don’t want to make her sound like a villain. I know how this sounds but she was one of my very favorite coworkers. She was a conventionally pretty HCB(™ ha), that’s right, a high-contrast brunette, and passively signaled her liberal opinions with We had the same dry sense of humor, the same observations about our at times socially awkward coworkers.
One day a call came in for her, but on my phone. That’s fine. I put the caller on hold and got up to go tell her. She was standing in the entry way of a fellow’s cube. I couldn’t tell whether they were talking briefly. I tapped her on the arm and without waiting for a response, said Daria there’s a call for you on my phone. I’ll send him to yours. And that’s what I did.
Within the hour, this message appeared in my workplace inbox.
Hey Lash,
I wanted to let you know that I would appreciate it if you gave me more personal space when you are near me. There have been a few times recently when you’ve touched my back/arm/shoulder/etc to get my attention and it makes me uncomfortable. I am kind of specific about my personal space.
Thanks for understanding,
[Daria]
[corporate style email contact footer]
[phone number punctuated with periods of course]
I wrote back immediately. I said I’m sorry about that, I didn’t know. Only meant to get your attention, I said, for someone waiting on hold. Can’t recall now, but I think I may have asked her not to report me, or something, ho ho.
The matter never came up again, although I’m not so dumb I didn’t suspect her of keeping a copy of the exchange, likely in print. I waited over days for the cold shoulder to emerge from the kitchen and land on my table, but she didn’t change in her workplace geniality, even sitting with me at lunch when no one else would.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernst_Z%C3%BCndel
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomasz_Winnicki
live up
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Missing me?
Who are you again?
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Correct answer from both a game and an HR perspective: no answer, or, if no response at all would be too obvious/rude, something conversation-ending like “ha” (or what this guy actually typed — essentially dismissive). since this guy isn’t actually looking to close/escalate with this woman, less is more. there is no plausible deniability to something like “youd like that wouldnt you” or “depends” — if either HR or his wife saw those, he’s dead. no response is just as alpha (if not more so — less thirsty) and safer (for him).
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The answer I would absolutely give is “Not at all”. There is no reason to take the bait in this situation, and this would only strengthen your position while making you harder to get. There is also zero chance you’d get in any hot water.
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+1 for the Shrike reference. That’s an awesome book I lol’d immediately 🙂
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Missing me?
No, get me a coffee.
or a condescending Yes honey or Yes sweetie, get me a coffee
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Her: Missing me?
Me: I know ur missing me
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