Feed on

I’ve heard every beta male excuse for sexual market inaction under the sun.

“She wasn’t looking at me.”

“She seemed like she didn’t want anyone talking to her.”

“I wasn’t feeling the vibe.”

“Too loud.”

“Too quiet.”

“Too crowded.”

“Too empty.”

“Too public.”

“Too private.”

“I might startle her and freak her out.”

“I can’t get to her without making it too obvious.”

“She probably has a boyfriend.”

“I need another drink first.”

“She’s out of my league.”

“You can’t just WALK UP to girls on the sidewalk!”

“This isn’t the place to hit on girls.”

“People are watching.”

“I’m dressed like a slob/I smell/I feel out of sorts/My hair is a mess today.”

“She’s talking to a bunch of people. I’ll wait till they leave her.”

“I forgot my opener.”

“My ass-less chaps are wrinkled.”

“I forgot to wear my Power Fedora.” (ed: this one’s not a joke, i heard it)

“I’m not feeling it right now.”

“Oh, wait, she saw me looking at her. Now it’ll just be weird if I go up to her.”

“I waited too long.” (ed: well, no shit!)

“I didn’t go out tonight to hit on girls.”

“If it happens, it’ll happen.” (ed: logic trap)

“I’m not in a good mood now.”

“I’ll hit it hard tomorrow.”

“The moment isn’t right.”


The perfect moment is the enemy of the pickup. Forget it, Jake, the perfect moment will never come to men who insist on waiting for perfect moments.

Perfect moments are made, by opportunists, aka charismatically bold men. Women happily back-rationalize the moment they meet interesting men as “chemistry”, “we clicked”, and “everything just seemed so perfect”, even if in reality all that happened was he approached and spoke a few words and impudently allowed his hands to take liberties with her erogenous space. So why are you bothering to wait for a perfect moment to hit on women when women will do all the work post hoc constructing that perfect moment in their pretty little heads?


Be an opportunist, not an idealist. For example, here’s a “perfect moment” that occurred when a particularly ruthless buddy of mine exploited what would normally have been an exceedingly embarrassing social situation into a #LoveWins . The girl who is the subject of this recollection had just tripped while walking on the sidewalk. As is the wont of girls, she got up, brushed herself off while suppressing obvious signs of pain, and attempted to carry on gracefully as if nothing had happened.

(When men trip, they will look backwards at the offending sidewalk crack as if to challenge it to a fight.)

My buddy would have none of that.

HIM: Don’t worry about pretending it didn’t happen, I saw the whole thing.

HER: Oh, yeah, ha, that was crazy.

HIM: Confession. I made a Vine of it. You’ll be on the internet in ten minutes.

HER: That’s not even funny.

HIM: Ok fine, it wasn’t as funny as your fall.

HER: I’m glad you were entertained!

HIM: I was. Does that make me a bad man?

HER: Yes, it does.

HIM: Good. This means you’d be down for drinks this week.


Every moment is a perfect moment to pickup girls, if you have heavy balls and skill wielding them.


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