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This post is also available in: German

If you didn’t already know, #LoveWins is a Twitter hashtag celebrating hatred for people who don’t agree with the gay marriage SCROTUS dicktat.

As CH #Loves to do, we find opportunity for romantic pleasure in the detritus of a disintegrating nation. One such opportunity was discovered by reader newlyaloof:

I’m thinking that #LoveWins would be a great pickup line:

Guy sees girl, just walks up to her and tries to kiss her.
If you’re a charming bastard, the girl just may kiss you.
If not:
Girl: “What are you doing?”
You “Love Wins!” and go for it again. Or tease her and accuse her of being against love.

Heh. Ballsy, but has broad and deep potential. This tactic doesn’t have a short shelf life, either. It can work well after every ADD-suffering American girl has forgotten why there’s a rainbow sticker on her butthexed bungholelllzlzllol. I could see this opener easily parlayed into an extended, disqualifying, teasing riff on a girl’s numerous character flaws.

GIRL: “What are you doing?”

LOVE’S PENETRATING GAZE: “Are you against being in love?”

GIRL: “No.”

LOVE’S PENETRATING GAZE: “Next thing you’ll tel me you hate puppies.”

GIRL: “I don’t hate puppies either.”

LOVE’S PENETRATING GAZE: “You seem like the type to hate on cute things.”

etc. Anyone willing to try it out? Do I have to be the only one here to go into the breach?

If you don’t want to risk kissing a girl you just met, you could try a toned-down version of the above. Instead of kissing, place your hand gently on her shoulder and, longingly staring into her eyes, say with mock seriousness, “You and I, there’s magic between us. Can you feel it?” When she balks, segue into the “Love Wins!” riposte. The goal is to go for the tension-releasing taunting humor, which will set you up nicely for a more profound seduction.

[crypto-donation-box]

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