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Be A Secks God

Remember Alana Massey? No? Ok, remember the CH evisceration of her? Ah, yes, that does ring a bell. She’s back, but in a different way, providing ugly truth fodder that’s fun for the whole family. Her Twat feed secretly tingles for a suitor who made such an impression on her that she couldn’t help but fondly recall him and announce her fond recollection to the whole world.

Massey writes,

my fave part of this tactic is always showing up in sunglasses and a shit-eating grin like some kind of a goddamn genius.

He got your attention, Alana. And that’s more than can be said for the loser betas “lifting you up” (in SJW-speak) on Tinder.

Boring men who play by the rules are never remembered by women. “Hey, secks?” game may not be eligible for inclusion in the pantheon of great seduction techniques, but it beats “Hi, beautiful, how was your day? ;)” anti-game. (In Alana’s case, this come-on would be a lie in at least one detail.)

Don’t aspire to be an SJW-approved lapdog shell entity. Aspire to be a Hey, Secks man, a Skittles man, a Bring the Movies man, a Birthday Cat man, or a 8===D man. In every generation, women get the men they put out for.

UPDATE

A commenter thinks Massey is the one texting the “Hey, secks?” line. If so, it doesn’t speak well of her SMV. I mean, if you have to request a booty call intervention from a man, you probably don’t have much to offer beyond a few minutes of your discount bin jizz receptacle.

49 Responses to “Be A Secks God”

  1. Eric Wilson says:

    I could be wrong but isn’t she the one coming up with the Hey, secks line?

    Although she things that opening (heh) that way is an impressive feat.

    Like

    • H2 says:

      Yes that line is coming from the right which should be the sender.

      The main point still stands though, most men aren’t getting texts from a woman initiating a booty call.

      Like

    • Anonymous says:

      I agree. She’s asking the dude for a booty call she thinks she’s a genius because he said yes.

      She’s well on the way to cat lady status.

      Like

    • Sentient says:

      The real pithy story here is the dude answering what is definitely her offer of sex… You can almost here him yawning, looking at his watch, what’s in the fridge, and that nights TV lineup before he allows her to swing by “in like an hour”… LOL

      Like

    • Anonymous says:

      It’s definitely Massey with the hey secks line.

      Odd that CH didn’t catch on to this tbh

      Like

    • corvinus says:

      No, the dude involved put up the pic of the exchange on his phone to boast about his conquest.

      I don’t know how all y’all are thinking that the girl is.

      (shakin’ mah haid)

      Like

    • Anon says:

      It’s definitely her sending the text. Furthermore if a cursory view of her twatter shows that she recently turned 30. We’re behind the looking glass men.

      Like

      • Culum Struan says:

        What they said – it’s definitely her sending the first text. Obvious from the context if you look at all the replies in her Twitter feed – she says stuff like “Resistance to my charm is futile” and talks about “showing up” in sunglasses – ie, she is going to him after sending the text.

        Like

  2. […] Be A Secks God […]

    Like

  3. whorefinder says:

    In her defense, she is ugly.

    Is that a defense? I’m not sure.

    oh well.

    Rape!

    Like

  4. Hosswire says:

    According to one of her articles, that sad broken female is incapable of orgasm. As in has never had one, solo or accompanied.

    So… Weird, unfit body. Odd, scrunched, aging, Gollum-face face. Unnatural bleached troll-hair. A snarkspeak monoglot. Delusional feminist beliefs. High-voltage neuroses & insecurities alternating with aggressive attention whoring. An enraged emitter of shrill SJWisms. A part-time hooker’s lifetime partner count. AND she can’t even cum when you bone her? Her sex partners are some very lucky fellows indeed.

    Like

  5. English Dude says:

    I’m hardly Alpha, but I’ve heard the “No man has ever made me orgasm”, or “I’m really hard to make cum” so many times before.

    Every damn one of them I’ve made squirm and squirt on my face / cock.

    I think it’s just something they tell themselves as a “No man is man enough for me” sort of thing, and/or a challenge to the man.

    Like

  6. Haven M. says:

    wow, thought you tards had it all wrong, but if she screen capping her phone, she’s the one delivering the “secks” message. Which is not as cool as if a bro had dropped the secks? line on her. I mean, I’ve gotten FWB texts like “where r u?” before closing time bc most females try to keep up appearances. I guess I’m not alpha enough for a girl to drop major skank bombs on me like that. But it is pointed out that she ugly. Let’s see…

    oh her.

    Oh right, her twat post is her bragging on her “game” she bragging on this secks bomb.

    sad. sad. sad.

    Like

  7. mendozatorres says:

    I thought she was asking as well.

    I think it’s sadder that she thinks she’s a genius for a guy asking her for sex than her initiating. Either way, her delusions are in abundance and are low value.

    Like

  8. […] Source: Heartiste […]

    Like

  9. PA says:

    Modern liberal Murka creates a unique kind of freak/victim. Amanda Massey is one. Rachel Dolezal is another. In a different, normal country, they would have turned out differently.

    Like

  10. walawala says:

    The last 3 girls I’ve banged—all on the first meeting—I met, built comfort and then at a some point said “Ok let’s get out of here, come over, we’ll chill” or watch a DVD or I’ll show you my photos.

    It has to be delivered with the same blasé tone as I’ve used in describing my ride to work.

    The girls have all just followed. Then midway through they say “Where are we going?” My place. “Oh, ok”

    Then at my place it’s just chill….put music on, have a tea or something–usually non-alcoholic. Then I move it in and it’s on.

    Like

    • Uncharted says:

      Yup this works. I never specifically mention sex either. When I’m at her place, I kiss her then just say let’s go to your bedroom. Too bad it took so long for me to figure this out.

      Like

  11. TC says:

    If you read the rest of that Twatter thread it definitely looks like thinks she is so clever for initiating a booty call. Sad.

    [CH: when an unattractive girl has nothing to offer but her road-worn pussy and she knows she has no hope of landing a quality man in a relationship, she’ll act like spreading her legs to get a fuck dumped in her is an accomplishment worthy of a trophy.]

    Like

    • popcorn out says:

      CH: it is also the mother of all attention whoreing techniques. When a girl knows she can’t get attention for being attractive, she resorts to talking overtly and frequently about sex because she knows guys will willingly sacrifice a couple more SMV points for a girl who is a nailed on guaranteed lay (most incels would rather have guaranteed sex with a 4 than have a purely theoretical chance with a 6 which they’ll fuck up because they have no game).

      Fatties do this

      Like

      • hundred proof says:

        “When a girl knows she can’t get attention for being attractive, she resorts to talking overtly and frequently about sex”

        with real hotties it is all subtext, double entendre and innuendo.

        a real hottie won’t even say “fuck my brains out” the first time. her eyes and body language say everything. only once she knows you can hang will she verbalize and even then only to the extent that you do first.

        if a woman mentions the sex act overtly she loses points immediately because either she is secretly low value or doesn’t know how to flirt and either way NEXT!

        Like

      • 88 says:

        yep.

        so many girls do not know how to flirt properly anymore. they don’t even understand double entrende or innuendo most of the time, let alone know how to use it. it’s refreshing when you finally meet a girl who actually understands how to flirt and how to be charming instead of just vulgar, crude, and inane.

        Like

  12. TC says:

    Was just scrolling through her tweets when I found this gem:
    “I love my name for many reasons but mostly cause an anagram of “Alana Massey” is “easy anal Sam.””

    Like

    • Kyo says:

      Reading backwards, her name includes both “yes” and “anal”. I’d be heading for City Hall to make a name change the moment I discovered that.

      Like

  13. FrothyJizz says:

    @CH:
    I think I’ve discovered a grammar error: she’s called ANALA (not Alana). Please correct.

    Like

  14. Greg Eliot says:

    my fave part of this tactic is always showing up in sunglasses and a shit-eating grin like some kind of a goddamn genius.

    Me no grok the sunglasses-grin-genius connection. 😡

    Showing up giddy about an imminent lay is “genius”?

    And WFT do sunglasses have to do with it?

    Is there some kind of pop culture reference I’m missing here? If so, I hope someone, like maybe Strapon, will enlighten me… so I can, well, you know, be hip. :duckface

    Like

      • Tim says:

        Hmmm. That extra dot after ‘It’ IS part of the file name, but buggers up the link. Copy and paste and you’ll get the shit-eating grin/sunglasses meme

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        That’s just someone’s photoshopped work… don’t see what it has to do with her reference.

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      • Tim says:

        You asked for the cultural reference.

        The ‘deal with it’ meme is one.

        So there you go.

        Deal with it.

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        That had nothing to do with what the skank was talking about.

        No information is better than disinformation.

        Deal with this

        Your fairy.

        Like

    • Anonymous says:

      She’s dressed like the emoji from her message.

      Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        Ah, that makes a bit more sense… although the emoji isn’t exactly sporting a “shit-eating” grin… and the “like a goddamn genius” part still eludes me.

        Like

    • Nell says:

      May I offer my guess as a girl from the GIRLS milieu:

      I don’t think it’s about a meme.

      This affect she has is familiar to me. It’s an aesthetic mindset, where the way you do something, your comportment and style, is very important. You are conscious of it and talk about it, although you may be aping a natural who made an impression on you.

      This type of person would watch/read some obscure thing in high school and then adopt a quirky mannerism from the main character and then get made fun of for it.

      When she finds herself on a man’s stoop about to deliver unrequested sex to him, there is no way that feels perfectly right, so she’s covering over any weird feelings with other feelings, like casting herself as a stylish, roguish, masculine persona who moves through a city fluidly, taking what he wants when he wants it (and it seems clear that she reads game blogs, so she may be fashioning her image here after CH himself). She pans out mentally and sees herself as in a movie. She is conscious of the details that will indirectly hint at her interior space, just like a moviemaker or storyteller would. It’s not a “technique” obviously but she knows that. That’s just a cute part of the affect, playing like there are techniques when it would actually be accurate to say, “My mannerisms were X, and I’m telling you because we like to giggle and snark about stylistic intricacies.”

      Just a guess.

      I don’t hate this affect btw. I do it when I get around certain friends. It can be fun. It’s certainly not mutually exclusive with realtalking. There are a lot of other things going on with AM besides this I think.

      Like

      • Nell says:

        Just realized that part of my comment makes no sense because I didn’t know what a shit-eating grin was. I’m gonna go with “goddamn genius” being sarcastic and self-deprecating.

        Like

      • Greg Eliot says:

        I guess I’ll just have to chalk it up to women not being all that clever or funny, and when they try to be, they get the wording and/or attempted references all wrong anyway.

        Shame on me for thinking there was something to her shtick.

        Like

  15. Acusa says:

    Rule 14, gentlemen: https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/

    It’s try hard of her only if you are not her established lord & master of O.

    In more than 1 way.

    Fair play CH.

    Like

  16. theasdgamer says:

    This post reminds me that I am an awesome makeout. Co-signed by an ex-gf. I should write about good makeout technique.

    Thx, CH, ur my muse.

    Like

  17. Bateful Higot says:

    Unless by some strange twist he screencapped that for her, she sent that to a man. Note the blue message says “delivered” under it, implying that it was saved by the one who sent it.

    Like

  18. Walter E Kurtz says:

    An interesting anecdotal aside to the 8======D—- guy.

    I have worked as a doorman/bouncer in some highly popular bars/nightclubs in my area.

    One time I was working the door sitting on a stool when out comes a quite attractive brunette from inside the bar. She sits on an adjacent stool for a few moments but I really wasn’t paying much attention as I was trying to text my then gf at the time and manage her fragile/needy emotional state because she had fallen quite hard for me and at this point was freaking out whenever I went to work and thus was surrounded by lots of young attractive women. Regardless of the fact that I met her at another bar I worked at.

    Anyway back to the brunette on the stool. She sees that I’m texting and paying her no mind so she says to me
    “Hey want to text me?”
    I paused for a moment considering the idiocy of the question considering.
    I was in a playful mood that needed respite from my insecure gf”s annoyingness so I hand her my phone to put her number in.

    When I got my phone back I texted her this.
    8========D——-

    I think she texted back ” what’s that ?” To which I lol’d.

    True to female form her next response was
    “Wanna make out?”

    I paused for a few moments considering the utter hilarity of the question. Then I stood up and glided over gently holding the back of her head and pulled her in for a quick make out.

    Ever the professional I kept it short and made myself get back to focusing on the job.
    A few hours later and she texts me with
    “Come to my hotel”

    I told her I wouldn’t be off for another few hours and I forgot about it due to logistics and the fact that my gf was at my place and would stay up waiting for me.
    As im driving home she texts me again wanting me to come over but I just ignored because I was already nearly home.
    Unfortunately for me my gf went through my phone and found an unknown number added while at work(fucking sneaky bitches). The texts were of course deleted. So then I have to make up a lot of shit and manipulate some emotions to keep things copacetic.
    The gf ended up calling her though and a lot of shit talking ensued. I had to really hide how entertained I was.

    Moral of the story:
    8======D—–

    It works.

    Like

  19. […] Remember Alana Massey? No? Ok, remember the CH evisceration of her? Ah, yes, that does ring a bell. She’s back, but in a different way, providing ugly truth fodder that’s fun for the whole family.  […]

    Like

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