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Have you ever thought about the seductive magic contained in the element of preemptive friendzoning? A strategic disqualification of a girl has the potential to spark an instantaneous attraction for you.

Friendzoning is almost entirely the province and prerogative of prime nubility women subconsciously (or knowingly) abiding their alpha fux, beta hugs Darwinian Directive. Only the top 10% of men — the hard alphas — enjoy the same friendzone admin privileges as do women, and mostly these men friendzone out of necessity rather than personal gain, as is usually the wont of women. An alpha male with ten women knocking at his door might just find it more convenient and less heartless to curtly coochtease the HB7s so he can concentrate on juggling the HB8s and 9s.

There’s a lesson there. we’re all ears

The top SMV echelon of men exhibit aspects of courtship behavior that are nearly indistinguishable from the courtship behavior of women. Acting aloof and sending ambiguous signals of intent? Yep, women and alpha males do that. Playing coy (with sex or with commitment)? Yep, alpha male = woman. Friendzoning suitors? Again, alpha male is the mimic of woman.

The lesson is this: You want to behave in the ways of an alpha male for increased attractiveness to intrinsically narcissistic women. The rarity of the Alpha Male Experience (indie band name CH-trademarked) can be used as a guidepost to the secret society of sex-loving babes.

Hence, the preemptive friendzone. Here’s an example. Let’s establish you’ve opened a line of love communication with a girl of sufficient beauty to make the game fun. Chit chat text yap follows. You wait for an opportune pause in the resonating vibe, or a strike of awkwardness, to execute your move. If you’re experienced, you’ll be able to sense when your ship of sate teeters on the brink between sexual promise and platonic defeat. Your flirtation credit has maxed out.

Just at that moment, when she’s most expecting your announcement of phallic intention, you send this kitty diddy:

Yeeow, the presupposed princess just turned into a humbled housemaid. Guess who’s chasing whom now? Who, whom, indeed.

Now, you don’t deliberate the nature of the wound you’ve inflicted. This is the tricky part, because a wrong move here can mean a self-fulfilling friendzone. You don’t want her taking you at your word.

She’ll reply, you ignore her. It doesn’t matter what she wrote or said; in romance, substance is nothing. An hour, three hours, maybe three days later, you ask her out for a drink(s). You continue your policy of opaque silence on the subject of your friendzone request. If she asks, feign ignorance and assume the sale at the same time… “you remember what i texted last week?”… or stick with the cheeky ruse… “yep, we’re gonna swap recipes.”

Once in her company, you will proceed seducing her as if she is anything but a friend to you. Again, if she balks, you perfunctorily agree “yup, the best of buddies” as your hand travels the expanse of her competing erogenous zones, zones which are, truth be told, much more exciting to navigate.


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