Feed on

The white knight used to be an object of admiration, but lately he has become an object of derision and even pity. Urban Dictionary defines the white knight as:

A person (usually a male) who sees the typical maiden in distress, and believes that he can help her. A male version of the “mother figure” that some girls become.

Implicit in that definition is the recognition that white knights are dupes who won’t get the sex they think their heroism is supposed to net them. The change in the white knight’s status can be traced to the change in the Western culture and the functioning of the sexual market. As women have become more self-sufficient, more socially and sexually aggressive, more pampered by the ruling elite and their foot soldiers, and less in need of beta male provisioning, the justification for the white knight’s services has been annulled. What was once a legitimate way to curry favor with women and to uphold traditional social mores for the betterment of the ethnically cohesive whole, has become a pretentious clown show neither desired by its intended recipients nor necessary as a stopgap to preserve social mores that have long ceased their operational relevance.

The subject of the white knight was broached in the comments to this post about a guy who walks away from a one-month slutfriend (“girlfriend” seems too generous an appellation) who had her tit grabbed by a co-worker in a bar, and responded to the feminist ur-violation by laughing and hugging her groper. CH agreed with the emailer’s decision to execute a summary dumping, but some readers were less ready to surrender the white knight option.

For example, commenter Erudite Knight wrote,

You are a joke. It is not ‘white knight’ to defend your property. You are excusing your own cowardice.

This is fairly representative of the thinking of the pro-white knight brigade. Woman is man’s property, and therefore a man must defend her honor no matter how poorly she behaves.

A load of tosh.d’oh, say I. First, it’s been a long time in the West since women were men’s property, either legalistically or culturally. Were we living in such a time, duty-bound male impulses like white knighting and chivalry would make more sense. But today, they make little sense, if any at all. A piece of “property” which can cheat on you at will and suffer little in the way of consequences is not any property encompassing inherent rights of ownership deserving of defense against interlopers. Or: If your property can, of its own accord, welcome squatters, you are a fool for assuming stewardship of such a leaky plot of flesh.

Second, women are not children or dumb animals, They have agency and accountability for their actions. At least, they do if you take a typical feminist’s word for it. (A leap of faith, I know.) You as a man are under no moral obligation to rush to the aid of a woman who has proven herself, by her actions, a loose tramp. If she severs her end of the deal, you are free to sever yours.

Third, acting the cat’s-paw for a low woman won’t inspire the respect you white knight advocates think it will, or think it should. What do you imagine percolates in a slut’s head when she has successfully tooled you into laying down your coat for her as her secret office fling laughs knowingly to himself, his pedestal being polished by her hand? I’ll show you:

All you’ve done is embolden her to pull more of the same stunts in the future. Way to go, toolbag.

Fourth, it’s not bravery to stand in the path of a speeding train, or a serenading slut. It’s just plain old stupidity.

If your goal in life is to feel like a big man through the strange alchemical process of getting tooled by manipulative shrews, then have it at governor. Just don’t expect many men of sane mind to join you in adhering to your quixotic code of ethics.

But this post is not solely about the lunkheadedness of the modern day white knight, a loathsome creature who shares DNA with the manboob and the male feminist. (Pervs of a feather…) It’s about those rare times when it’s in your interest, as a man, to white knight. Specifically, that interest is the preservation of your privileged access to the womb of a woman who wishes you to have that access.

If a guy at a bar grabs your lover’s tit, and she reacts with a look of shock and fury, clearly signaling her displeasure with the molestation, then go ahead and be all the white knight you can be. The benefits in such a scenario far outweigh the negatives (unless the other guy is a house, more on that in a bit). A demeaning titty twister (of your hand on his nipple), a strong shove to entice a fight, or even a sock in the gut, are acceptable measures of recourse. You wouldn’t be white knighting so much as kicking out an invading migrant who crossed your border, a border (and this is important) which you know is inviolable.

If the girl is not worth a fight, but you want to slake a vengeful thirst on both of them that walking out simply won’t do, you could follow this advice from anonymous,

How about you bring her and him into a bro shoulder hug, start smooching her, keep one hand clenched on the guy’s shirt while you send your hand up her shirt, and while kissing you give him a bro face slap. “You guys will have a great life together.”

YaReally also has an epic comment about handling really aggressive douchebags muscling in on your girl. He, like CH, advocates the “soft next” for any girl who has proved by her behavior that she didn’t mind the intrusion all that much.

As for much bigger men, make fun of them. “Hey, man, you’re molesting the wrong tit. I think you want the boy tits in the gay bar down the street.” Try recruiting allies this way, by publicly calling out his boarish behavior in front of a crowd, preferably with bouncers and bartenders within earshot. You obviously want to avoid a beatdown that is inevitable because of an unfair size disadvantage, but there are other ways to socially ostracize a big man without having it come to blows.

Of course, if women want the world of white knights and chivalry back, they’re free to abandon their feminist principles and equalist agit-prop any day now. Won’t be holding my breath…


Comments are closed.