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Young reader “Barry” wants to know if his Yearbook note to a girl he knows (who also knows his friend “Greg”) is beta or alpha.

Kelli,

It has been so nice getting to know you this year. You are extremely sweet and foxy, I don’t know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all! You really deserve better than clowns like us; you even laugh at my jokes! I hope we can keep in touch this summer, even though Greg will be gone. Call me up, and I’ll buy you lunch sometimes. [phone number] Anyway, good luck in everything you do, and stay happy.

You friend,

Love [heart symbol]

My gut reaction is that the note stinks of beta. Heart symbols are beta to any girl you aren’t already fucking. Hell, they’re beta to girls you *are* fucking. The self-deprecation is over the top, and beta if the recipient is a girl you aren’t fucking. It’s just barely tolerable if you’re self-depreacting to a girl you are already fucking.

But what I’d want to know, “Barry”, is the nature of your interest in “Kelli”. Is she just a friend, or do you have a secret crush on her? If you like her as more than a friend, then you come off as a supplicating orbiter here. But an orbiter with a sleazy, scheming alpha streak. You normally only see Kelli when Greg is with her, so it’s a good bet they’re dating. Waiting for your friend to skedaddle for the summer so you can slip her the full-blooded chub is just the kind of backroom dealing that will serve you well in future endeavors.

Chicks dig a man in command with a plan, so your subterfuge might succeed, but offering to buy lunch and giving her your number were bad moves. Better to talk to her alone and get her number than to leave it in her Yearbook for Greg to see.

Over to the CH commenters: what do you think of Barry’s tone? Is this Yearbook note weak sauce or is it the right touch of sneaky fucker cad game?

UPDATE

Some commenters caught on. The “Barry” above is none other than B-Dawg Obama.

High school is the crucible of our character. What you will be for the rest of your life is usually resolved before Senior Prom. But not always. Some men develop later, others are able to grow beyond the bounds of their formative years. You can tell a lot about a person by what he wrote in a Yearbook decades ago, and Barry’s note confirms my judgment of his character: He’s a beta at heart who became alpha through circumstance, mimicry and sheer grit. Some might derisively call this a Paper Alpha, but it’s still a better life as a paper alpha than a bona fide beta.

Oh, almost forgot:

Where da white women at!

289 Responses to “Sniveling Beta Or Scheming Alpha?”

  1. feministx says:

    What? You’re telling this guy to wait till his friend is gone then make a move on his girlfriend? Would you do that? Kinda low.

    • Scott says:

      There are friends and “friends” If you meet a guy through a girl, you can assume he’s the latter until said girl is gone and the friendship is still there. Or until you’re both married.

    • X says:

      Greg deserved it.

    • zlozozolzolzoz

      other dan a ocuple of splleing mistakez and some grammatical errosz, da notei is fine.

      here da GBFM has made some minorz correctionz :

      Kelli,

      Lotsas cockas! It has been so nice getting to know you this year. You are extremely sweet and foxy with a tight bung, I don’t know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all as my bung is not nearly as tite lzozzol! You really deserve better, longer cockasz like minez; you even laugh at my jokes! I hope you can touch me this summer, even though Greg will be gone. Call me up, and I’ll butthext u sometimes. [phone number] Anyway, good luck in everything you do, and i’ll keep ur bunghoiolio happy.

      You luverz lzozozl,

      Lotalsa cockas 8====> ~~~

    • I wouldn’t do it myself (in fact, if I were Greg, I might even punch this guy in the head when I next saw him, and I’m not even a violent person), but there is no doubt it is alpha behaviour.

    • feministx says:

      I re-read it. I’d say Obama is an extreme alpha inside that tries to veil his nature and bottle it up because he thinks he can be in better control of others by appearing nonchalant and non-threatening.

      There is a whole lot of narcissism and aggression in that letter, but Barry doesn’t want to own up to that image, so he wraps it in insincere self deprication.

      We could call that a note written on a whim in a yearbook, true. But who writes a sentence in a yearbook with a correctly placed semi colon? He’s so plotting, so deliberate, so hyper-aware of every action that he cloaks it in a happy go luck nonchalance.

      The only thing that’s changed is that his diabolical and ruthless nature is better hidden in superficial interactions.

  2. I’m going to go out on a limb and say Barry is a closeted homosexual.

  3. maurice says:

    sad. so tough to be a HS kid trying to figure all this out.

  4. earl says:

    Smells like beta. Based off he gave her his phone number…instead of being a man and getting hers.

    • Anonymous says:

      I think that this thread might be even more depressing than the one a few days ago about the dude whose new bride wouldn’t even let him kiss her.

      But the problems in this yearbook situation are so many [and so depressing] that I don’t even want to start writing them all down.

      So instead I’m gonna give the other teenaged readers at the Chateau – all the guys who haven’t completely fucked it up yet – an entirely different idea.

      To wit: How about hitting her smack in the [metaphorical] face with this quaint, old-fashioned, almost antiquarian concept, called “honesty”?

      [Back in your grandfather’s day, or maybe your great-grandfather’s day, it was considered a virtue.]

      Something like the following.

      She hands you the book, and you take it, and you start to open it up, but then you hesitate, and you close the book back up [very slowly], and you hand it back to her [very deliberately].

      AND THEN YOU LOOK HER SQUARE IN THE EYES, WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SINGLE MUSCLE IN YOUR FACE FLINCHING, and you summon up the deepest voice you can muster [it’s very important that that pubescent voice of yours not squeak at this moment], and you say:

      “Kelli, you’re my best friend’s gal, and I honestly can’t think of a single thing that would be appropriate for me to write in your yearbook.”

      And then you turn around, and you walk away.

      • some dude says:

        Gay

        • Anonymous says:

          Actually, as it turns out, the original writer of the yearbook inscription is in fact gay.

          I knew that there was something terribly wrong with the tone of voice in what I was reading.

          It’s also incredibly poorly written, as is everything from that “author” which wasn’t ghostwritten for him by Bill Ayers.

  5. Steve Lawrence (@sharialawfan) says:

    He is scheming… over homosexual intercourse with this chick’s boyfriend. Gross!

  6. X says:

    I think Barry just wants to know where the white women at?

    • Anon says:

      That yearbook note from Barack Obama proves that he’s a scheming beta for sure… exactly the type of guy who becomes president.

      Most alphas are too busy fucking chicks to chase politics unless they’re JFK, in which case his father browbeats him into politics.

  7. Trimegistus says:

    Ouch. Why mention another guy?

  8. phalluster says:

    Definite homosexual. It’s a virtual certainty that “Barry” has committed sodomy with Greg (as well as a cadre of other mentally unstable disease vectors). If he is scheming, it is with the intent to secure a future beard.

  9. Jeff says:

    Suckuppy wordplay is betamax 5000 at close to maximum power.

    If it were alpha, whether you’d want to bang her or not, it would be something like:

    “Kelli- You weren’t a complete bitch. Good luck with your future. -Jeff”

    If the gaming happened it would be behind the scenes in this case.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Beta.

  11. Beta. There’s no possible combination of things that makes this not beta:

    1. If you’re *not* trying to get with your friend’s girl, then she should be invisible to you. Life is too short to give a shit about girls you’re not trying to reel in. Nothing is more beta than showering attention and praise on a girl you’ve got no realistic designs on.

    2. If you *are* trying to get with your friend’s girl, then the only way to do this is be a cad, because you’re being a cad. Alpha means better than other dudes. It means better than your friend. It means that your note should have been something funny with a bit of an inside joke that gives off a whiff of Greg being the inept outsider. You didn’t do that, so it’s beta.

    • Beta Man says:

      Don’t even need to analyze this hard. When I was in high school, I wrote a “love letter” to my hot female study buddy (I was her “tutor” in math/beta orbiter, I now know) who I was in love with. Of course not only was it a total beta fail, she immediately showed it to her boyfriend, who was not my friend but was on the same sports team with me (my teammate…I won’t say the sport). So I was a total fucked-over loser the entire rest of my high school life. You can bet that Greg, this girl’s BF, is alpha, and he *will* see this note and not only is that friendship over, the OP writer is toast the rest of his high school life. I hope for his sake he’s a senior. Well I don’t give a shit about him, but if I did, I would hope that.

      • I never gave out study favors to hot girls. One of the things about being an omega (because that’s what I was, I think it was the Deep Space Nine T-shirt that gave it away) was that rejections were typically so swift, powerful, and humiliating that when the same hot girls that were transparently cruel to me batted their eyes and asked me to “work in their study group,” I wasn’t fooled, had no false hope, knew I would just be plied for answers and then ignored as soon as it was over, and told them to piss off.

  12. ar10308 says:

    “you even laugh at my jokes!”

    He assumes his own jokes aren’t funny to people. This is hardcore Beta.

    • Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh says:

      Yeah, this shit was hella painful to read.

    • Matthew King says:

      “you even laugh at my jokes!” He assumes his own jokes aren’t funny to people. This is hardcore Beta.

      Or… deliberate self-deprecation proceeding from confidence.

      Occamania 2013

      [CH: Self-deprecation is best administered in small doses, even by preselected high status men, of which we have no evidence that Obama was anything of the sort at age 17.

      Keepin’ItReal 2013.]

    • OralCummings says:

      “Ya laughed at all of my jokes,my love you didnt ned to coax…” I have to side with those who think Barry is a homosexual. The girl(now woman,obv)made some remarks to the pres similar to what the OTHER gilr had said about Barry,that is he was charming and likeable (duh) but there was no “chemistry” –read “lump in his pants”–there. No,Barry’s passion went in otjher directions. Its not beta becaise Barry is not in HER sexual marketplace.

  13. Freckled says:

    Beta. He could have written the perfect note, but the moment he used the heart symbol he destroyed all his previous efforts….

  14. AlphaBeta says:

    Beta. Who says “foxy” anymore? This isn’t the 70s.

    (ps: everyone here has seen “Barry” on TV recently…)

  15. denialist says:

    lolz. Bravo! He’s only 17 though, give the guy a break.

    • Jason says:

      Exactly. It takes time to learn how the alpha game is played. At age 17 most of us (except for the naturals) are, at best, only dimly aware of some rulebook about how to find sexytime.

      BTW, I’ve read other friends of Barry’s who said, in his 20s, his guys friends were jealous of him because he AMOGed, all the time, and pulled tail with little effort.

      Learned charisma. He’d learned.

      We’ve all got some cringeworthy stuff from the teen years anyways, myself included. And, from what I can tell, most PUAs’ teen years are one giant long epic fail, so judge not…

      • corvinus says:

        BTW, I’ve read other friends of Barry’s who said, in his 20s, his guys friends were jealous of him because he AMOGed, all the time, and pulled tail with little effort.

        I’d be curious to know the quality of the guy-friends and their girl-friends (viz. Slick Willie). His being an alpha seems completely inconsistent with his current beta attitude toward Michelle.

        • Jason says:

          Yeah, Michelle’s both dynamic and shrewish. At the beginning of his 2008 campaign, Obama’s handlers had to actually tell her to stop ripping on his bad breath, ugly socks, etc in public. She got the message, but … Jesus.

          On the other hand, I’m looking forward to her leading the national fat-shaming fight after they leave office. She’s well-positioned to do so, esp. because she’s a black female admired by black females, who’ve got the worst obesity rates in the nation.

        • Divorced Dad says:

          You idiots: it is Barry who is disgusted by Michelle, not the other way around. He likes cute little white girls, not 6’2″ gross black he-women with disfiguring underbites, and who can blame him? Can you imagine trying to kiss or have sex with Michelle? Gross. The sex part would result in little cuts and chafes all around the area where your dick is.

          • divorced dad says:

            You idiots: it is Barry who is disgusted by Michelle, not the other way around. He likes cute little white girls, not 6’2″ gross black he-women with disfiguring underbites, and who can blame him? Can you imagine trying to kiss or have sex with Michelle? Gross. The sex part would result in little cuts and chafes all around the area where your dick is.

      • Anonymous says:

        BTW, I’ve read other friends of Barry’s who said, in his 20s, his guys friends were jealous of him because he AMOGed, all the time, and pulled tail with little effort.

        NO YOU HAVEN’T.

        That’s a bald-faced lie.

        Does Axelrod pay you filthy snivelling Jew motherfuckers to hang out at sites like this and spread his disinformation for him?

        Or do you just do it for the sheer sadistic pleasure of making the Shkotzim look like fools?!?

        This is what people ACTUALLY thought of Obama “in his 20s”:

        Barack Obama: The Ghost of Columbia University
        Wayne Allyn Root
        Jun. 4, 2013 1:31pm
        theblaze.com

        I am a graduate of Columbia University, Class of 1983. That’s the same class Barack Obama claims to have graduated from. We shared the same exact major- Political Science. We were both Pre Law. It was a small class- about 700 students. The Political Science department was even smaller and closer-knit (maybe 150 students). I thought I knew, or met at least once, (or certainly saw in classes) every fellow Poly Sci classmate in my four years at Columbia.

        But not Obama. No one ever met him. Even worse, no one even remembers seeing that unique memorable face. Think about this for a minute. Our classmate is President of the United States. Shouldn’t someone remember him? Or at least claim to remember him?

        One of the speakers at the 30th reunion should have reminisced about “my days with the future President.” But no one did. You’d think Obama might have sent a video to tell us all how much he enjoyed his time at Columbia. You’d think he’d have sent at least a letter to be read aloud from one of his former college buddies. Right? But he didn’t. Because Obama has no former college buddies. No one that ever met Obama, let alone befriended him, was in attendence at our 30th class reunion.

        Now you might argue this is all strange, but it’s possible. Afterall Columbia says he graduated. And I take my college’s word for it. Would one of the world’s greatest Ivy League institutions participate in a coverup, thereby risking their billion dollar reputation? And there is one single article written for the Columbia newspaper with Obama’s name on it. A single photo also exists of Obama in his Manhattan apartment with the man he claims was his college roommate- a Pakistani foreign student. And one single radical leftist Columbia professor who hates Israel also claims he remembers Obama.

        That’s the sum total of Obama’s existence at Columbia University, Class of ’83.

        So I asked every classmate I met at our 30th reunion, many of them Political Science majors, if they ever met, or saw, or heard of Obama. The answer was a resounding NO from every one of them. I asked if they found this strange, or worried how this was possible? They all answered YES. I asked if they thought it was possible to be a Political Science major and never meet a fellow major in our small classes? They all gave me a very strange look and answered NO. So I asked, “How could this be possible? Can you explain this?” No one had an answer.

        Keep in mind these people I spoke to are all- to a man and woman- dedicated liberal Democrats who voted for Obama. I’m guessing 90% are major Democrat contributors. My Columbia classmates are the crème of the crop of American society. Lawyers, doctors, billionaire hedge fund members, stars of the media. They adore Obama. But they all admit they never met him in their four years at Columbia. I am proud of my classmates for their honesty and integrity.

        One classmate told me he was present when one of the most honored professors in Columbia University history gave a speech to alumni a couple of years ago. The speech was followed by Q&A. This beloved professor was asked about Obama at Columbia. He said, “I have my doubts about the story.” The crowd was stunned. He immediately went onto the next question and never elaborated. So obviously I’m not the only one with doubts.

        So here’s my take on this great mystery. I’ve never said Obama was not registered at Columbia. I’m sure he was. I’ve never said he didn’t graduate. If Columbia says he did, then I’m sure he did. But I’ve always said there is something wrong with the story. It’s rancid. It’s unbelievable. It’s impossible. It’s the story of a Manchurian candidate.

        The question isn’t was he ever registered, or did he graduate. And it’s interesting that one photo, one professor, and one newspaper article exists- just enough to provide a thin cover. But the serious question the media should be asking is…What did Obama do for two full years in-between registration and graduation? Did he ever attend a class? Did he ever have a single friend other than a Pakistani national? Why is the only professor to ever come forward and claim he remembers him a radical leftist who hates Israel? What exactly was he doing when no one met him, saw him, or heard of him? Why are his college records sealed? What has he got to hide?

        But my educated guess is he can’t, or won’t ever release those records. Because what we’d find would be shocking.

        Now I know somewhere in America is an Obama defender that will accuse me of lying. But are all those classmates at our 30th reunion lying too? And if I wanted to lie, wouldn’t I better off saying I knew the future President well? If I wanted to malign the President, shouldn’t I be saying he was my close buddy and I witnessed all kinds of terrible things? But I can’t say that. Because I never witnessed anything. Neither did any of my classmates. We didn’t know him. Never met him. Never saw him. My story is simply the truth- and it’s the same consistent story I’ve told since 2007.

        There is something wrong with Obama’s story- that much I know. He is either the ghost of Columbia, or the perfect Manchurian candidate. But something smells rotten at Columbia.

        • Greg Eliot says:

          If that’s true, that quite a sobering thought.

          And I wouldn’t be surprised, in re your remarks about alphie-who-loves-to-tout-and-spout.

        • Jason says:

          Interesting that anybody with a different opinion must be Jewish.

          Listen, BO was a well-known recluse at Columbia. He writes about it in his memoir, if you bothered to read it. He literally went into seclusion for two years, coming out only for class, while he grappled with the Big Questions, reading extensively in his room. He even admits that it was a monastic existence. Some professional observers have said that it is the most striking period of self-examination that any US President has ever made.

          Then he graduated, moved to Chicago, and came out of the shell. That’s probably when he learned alphatude.

          Got it?

          • ballsweatsoop says:

            He literally went into seclusion for two years, coming out only for class, while he grappled with the Big Questions, reading extensively in his room. He even admits that it was a monastic existence. Some professional observers have said that it is the most striking period of self-examination that any US President has ever made.

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

  16. YaReally says:

    wtf is this. Is it April Fools?

  17. corvinus says:

    Over to the CH commenters: what do you think of Barry’s tone? Is this Yearbook note weak sauce or is it the right touch of sneaky fucker cad game?

    I don’t know the social context that they met, BUT… my impression is that while it’s not entirely “harmless weaksauce beta”, it has just enough aspiring cad game in there to make her think “creeeeeep” instead.

  18. V says:

    Seems more like “surprise I have a penis!” kind of sneaky than alpha cad sneaky.

    Too much self-deprecation and and puts her on a pedestal. “You’re awesome, I suck, I don’t deserve you, and I can’t see why my friends even tolerate me.”

    • Matthew King says:

      CONTRARIAN CORNER by Matthew Occam King

      Maybe she’s a distant acquaintance, like half the people who sign your yearbook, and he had nothing to say but felt obliged to compose something quasi-meaningful but ends up as dopey, insincere filler. Like 75% of all yearbook writing. Don’t believe me? Dig it out of the box and read what you got in yours.

      What a long, strange trip it’s been! Don’t ever change! Keep in touch! Have a great summer! Good luck in college! Stay cool! It’s been great knowing you/wish I got to know you better! It was the best of times, it was the worst of times! I’ll never forget you! You’re so sweet!

      [cue Vitamin C]

      Matt

      P.S. “Surprise I have a penis!” = hilarity

      [CH: High schoolers don’t normally ask girls they know are seeing other men out on lunch dates in Yearbook notes.]

      • corvinus says:

        Maybe she’s a distant acquaintance, like half the people who sign your yearbook, and he had nothing to say but felt obliged to compose something quasi-meaningful but ends up as dopey, insincere filler.

        After the wedding photo remarks… honestly… being this kind of contrarian and proposing possibilities that are… unlikely (to put it delicately), while refusing to recognize the most likely (>90%) possibility, is something that leftoids are constantly doing with their worn-out NAXALT fallacies.

        The big… big difference between that you’re talking about and what Barry actually did is that the former are mindless asexual well-wishes and latter a blatant come-on attempt.

        (shakes head)

        • V says:

          [CH: High schoolers don’t normally ask girls they know are seeing other men out on lunch dates in Yearbook notes.]

          Asking her out (ambiguously) in a note instead of to her face? Beta or omega?

      • Matthew King says:

        You both have serious problems incorporating all possibilities into an analysis. It doesn’t hurt “the cause” by thinking non-ideologically, especially as a rhetorical exercise. If you are serious about truth, rather than simple promotion, it is useful to contemplate the strongest objections in order to tighten your case.

        For example, now your dogmatism is making you think the likeliest interpretation — the one which neither advances nor detracts from the Dark Game Enlightenment Agenda — must be presumed from the start as 90% or more likely to be false. You set it up as a kind of purity test; whoever agrees and expands upon the official interpretation is thought of as a member in good standing. That’s just poor deductive reasoning. Worse, it is an indication of overzealousness affecting your analytical method.

        You’re not going to miss me when I’m gone, I know. But you are going to keep curving in on yourselves until your ideology becomes nonsensical to the outside world — which you will blame on them and their “ignorance.” These are signs of the senescence of a movement. Cantankerous old-man cynicism. A kind of early onset Alzheimer’s for a cause that is still practically nascent.

        “It was David Hume many years ago who interrupted my dogmatic slumber and gave my investigations … a completely different direction.” — Immanuel Kant

        Awake! you are sleeping. No snooze buttons. We have work to do.

        Matt

        • Greg Eliot says:

        • corvinus says:

          I think you’re misinterpreting my point. In this case, posing the “contrarian” attitude, the advocatus diaboli, is not suggesting some exciting other possibility, but rather comes across as an attempt to prove that what we see as going on is illegitimate.

          It is, in a sense, trying to lull us back to sleep, to reblind us to the reality that brought us here in the first place.

          The “official interpretation” is, actually, what you’re proposing; that it’s a somewhat stupid farewell to a class acquaintance that Barry didn’t know that well and wasn’t attracted to anyway.

          This wouldn’t be so bad, except for the fact that the official interpretation that you are advocating quite simply doesn’t make a lot of sense. Seriously. “You are extremely sweet and foxy, I don’t know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all”? Sure, best friends might riff to their best friends’ girlfriends, but this… definitely goes off into the “creepy” and “gets Greg really suspicious” territory, not to mention “beta pedestalization” territory. And the rest of it is not much better. I just can’t picture myself writing that (or the rest of it) to the girlfriend or wife of any of my friends if I didn’t desire her, but might possibly if I was drunk and a lot more beta than I am now. I just can’t. Can you?

          “It has been so nice getting to know you this year. You are extremely sweet and foxy, I don’t know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all! You really deserve better than clowns like us; you even laugh at my jokes! I hope we can keep in touch this summer, even though Greg will be gone. Call me up, and I’ll buy you lunch sometimes. [phone number] Anyway, good luck in everything you do, and stay happy.”

          • fred says:

            The main issue here is that the peanut gallery assumes that he wanted to bang her, projection, when in actual fact he had no such intent and genuinely wanted to catch up with her for lunch. Not all men only talk to women they want to bang. Some are genuinely interested in women as people. I know that’s revelatory and probably unpopular here, but it’s true of less fixated men. In fact I’d suggest it’s alpha to engage with women and be nice to women you don’t necessarily want to bang.

          • Greg Eliot says:

            Golf clap… most droll, be it sincere or a troll!

          • Matthew King says:

            I think you’re misinterpreting my point.

            Maybe. But in any event, I was trying to delve deeper than Obama’s teenage betatude, especially since these kind of one-off analyses are just for sport.

            It is, in a sense, trying to lull us back to sleep, to reblind us to the reality that brought us here in the first place. The “official interpretation” is, actually, what you’re proposing.

            Not in the least. I am assuming that “the reality that brought us here” has been sufficiently worked-over and absorbed by the readership I am trying to reach. I don’t see how a multifaceted interpretation has any chance of “lull[ing] us back to sleep.” It’s a sign of confidence in the readership that they do not have to be perpetually reminded that the “official interpretation” is always partial and almost always false.

            Are we not ready to admit that not every phenomenon can be broken down into Alpha/Beta terms? And even if they can be deconstructed, must we do it to absolutely everything? It can be fun times and good practice to get lost in such diversions, but, as I’m trying to say, it can come at the expense of the truth where there is no restraint.

            Can I “picture myself writing that”? No. Neither can most of the audience here for reasons discussed in the original post and repeated dozens of times in the commentary. So rather than belaboring that obvious fact, let’s do some internal housekeeping and tighten up our method some. Maybe even expand it to wider applications.

            It’s the difference between adjusting a case study to fit ideological platitudes and having an honest conversation about that case study among honest men whose integrity does not have to be proved in every discussion.

            Matt

        • zmbikilr says:

          Hey, how’s that Adopt a Beta/Omega and make him an Alpha Mentorship Initiative coming along? That was you, right?

          • Matthew King says:

            It’s going great! Why do you ask? Is it because your dad told you he was among the first applicants to be adopted? ZOMBIE KILLLRRR?

          • zmbikilr says:

            He’s been dead 10 years, but this demonstrates your impetuous ad hominems are as ill-conceived as your farcical advice or your admonishments of others having “serious problems incorporating all possibilities into an analysis.”

          • Greg Eliot says:

            Damn… a man one time mentions “serious problems incorporating all possibilities into an analysis” and you guys never let him live it down.

            lozlzozlzlzozozlzlzl

          • zmbikilr says:

            You two crazy lovebirds should get a room.

          • Greg Eliot says:

            You fairy.

        • I have a feeling that whatever in the world it is that you said, you probably could have kept it to less than a paragraph.

          • Matthew King says:

            ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
            Inner mongoloidologue of a “reader” whose chief exposure to the written word comes from the side of cereal boxes.

            “I have a feeling” indeed — because feeling is easier than comprehension. Math is hard!

            Good to be reminded of the caliber of the general readership here.

        • yeahokcool says:

          “You’re not going to miss me when I’m gone, I know.” lol you whiny, wannabe martyr. incidentally, i actually agree with your broader point, even if i disagree with the “result” you’re suggesting in this situation. we should question everything, always.

          • zmbikilr says:

            That’s what our young Matthew always tells his girlfriends, so you can’t blame him for repeating it here.

          • Matthew King says:

            Yep, how did you know?

            You guys are good.

        • PetiteOlive says:

          wise words Matt. I wonder how old you are, I bet you are all aged with wisdom :)

          • york says:

            that comma should have been a period. But all women, even if that have a JD, write this way.

          • Matthew King says:

            Comma splices are stylistically acceptable, punctilious hater.

            Veni, vidi, vici.

          • Matthew King says:

            I am always younger than your age minus 7 doubled.

          • yeahokcool says:

            no. you’re 25/26. it is very easy to “read you”

      • Matthew King says:

        [CH: High schoolers don’t normally ask girls they know are seeing other men out on lunch dates in Yearbook notes.]

        Neither do they “normally” order pizza with double cheese from Domino’s on a Tuesday after swim practice. Each opportunity has something unique about its circumstances.

        Couldn’t it be argued that asking a fellow’s girlfriend out on a date in a written place of permanence like a yearbook is an act of alpha brazenness? Especially when said fellow “will be gone” for the summer?

        Yes, it could be argued. Many facets of this superficial snippet of evidence can be argued. All I’m saying.

        Matt

        • YaReally says:

          “Couldn’t it be argued that asking a fellow’s girlfriend out on a date in a written place of permanence like a yearbook is an act of alpha brazenness?”

          Not the way it’s done here.

          Again, you are simply in over your head on these discussions. You don’t have the practical real-world experience to understand what we’re all telling you.

          The reason we don’t waste effort on “maybe he barely knew her” is because we know the things he wrote arent something people say to someone they barely know, because we’ve interacted with other people enough to know instantly that we can rule that out, the same way we rule out the theory that maybe she was made of green cheese and Obama was riding a unicorn and that determined the meaning behind his writing.

          I know you think you’re making a big point, like “hey I’m showing you guys things you hadn’t considered” but you are simply displaying your lack of practical experience. It’s the equivalent of a child waving at NASA scientists saying “but guys you have to consider that maybe gravity won’t work tomorrow!!! Who can say if it will!?? You should stop building that shuttle to refute my silly notion!!!”

          You are essentially making the efficient inefficient with comments like this. If you had some experience, you would understand, as we do, why his note wasn’t alpha. The fact that you’re confused why no one will address gravity not working just enhances the very clear conclusion that you don’t have much social experience.

          You are out of your league here. That’s not a personal insult, it’s a rational observation.

          • YaReally says:

            “Couldn’t it be argued that asking a fellow’s girlfriend out on a date in a written place of permanence like a yearbook is an act of alpha brazenness?”

            Another way of looking at this is you’re basically saying couldn’t it be argued that the air pushes us downward, that’s why we fall, it’s not gravity it’s that air molecules push things down.

            We’ve already done the research and written up the conclusions on gravity and it’s there for you to study. If you choose NOT to study it, and actively/willingly ignore it and write it off as nonsense to you, that’s fine, you can do what you like, but guys who have studied and thoroughly understand the science behind gravity will never cut you slack for your ignorant guesswork, and it’s silly for you to expect us to, just as it would be silly of me to expect the scientific community to take seriously my air-pushing theory.

            You are willfully ignorant of what we’re discussing, and seem to pride yourself on that, then get miffed when no one with experience takes you seriously despite your grand gesturing and bullying. It’s silly and makes me embarrassed for you.

            I’ll 100% support anything you write that actually gels with reality and field experience.

  19. I smell a sneaky beta like in some monkey species where the alpha has to leave to fight rivals and the sneaky male monkeys poke a female or two in his absence.

  20. Try this:

    Kelli, try not to be so uptight. Let loose some time! -Barry

  21. AlephMale says:

    Reminds me of my beta days. I got a chill reading the note. The over-complimenting and self-deprecation dredged up bad memories and lost opportunities.

    And the fact that he’s even considering going after his friend’s girl(ex? soon-to-be ex? doesn’t really matter) shows his social circle isn’t wide enough. Even in my beta days I knew better than to shit where I ate.

    • earl says:

      Second.

      I even cut out the deprecation of other men to try and build myself up. Nothing says “try-hard” or “weak” in a chick’s mind than when you try to snark some other guy down.

      Save the backhanded compliments for chicks…and use your words to build up other guys confidence.

      • Clash1e says:

        Agreed, talking down other guys in front of a chick you’re interested in is weak and may even backfire. If a guy is moving in on your gf or the girl you’re gaming then you have to deprecate his perceived social value. The indirect way of doing this by asking him boring logical questions and letting him yap on and on and thus beta himself in her eyes is a personal favorite.

    • ar10308 says:

      Third.

      I have to cop to feeling the same thing.

  22. some dude says:

    Yearbook weak sauce. Next topic

  23. zmbikilr says:

    She may call him up sometime to supplicate and console her about how mean Greg can be and maybe get a poem or flowers out of him. Rewrite:

    Kelli,

    [New reminder of some Joke X she laughed at]. You and Greg stay sweet together! Buy me lunch and I’ll tell you more about [Situation Y she laughed at].

    Best,
    [Nickname she may or may not know] (Barry)

  24. newlyaloof says:

    I 2nd YAReally’s comment. So clearly beta, it’s gay.

    Kelli,

    It has been so (((nice – straight from the beta dictionary))) getting to know you this year.
    You are extremely (((sweet))) and foxy,

    I don’t know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all! – putting her and Greg above yourself = beta

    You really deserve better than clowns like us; – Why? Because she was born with a pussy? What has she done in her life that’s noteworthy?

    you even laugh at my jokes! – again putting yourself below her.

    I (((hope))) we can keep in touch this summer, even though Greg will be gone. – too pussy to come out and say what you want.

    Call me up, and I’ll buy you lunch sometimes. – next comes alimony payments

    [phone number] Anyway, good luck in everything you do, and stay (((happy))).

    You friend – didn’t even wait for her to put you in the friend zone. You preempted her,

    Love [heart symbol] = gay, beta!

    Rewrite that shit:

    Kelli,

    Things change. Greg will be gone this summer. Call me up, and let’s get to know each other much better this summer (starting tomorrow when you buy me lunch).

    Barry

    • Clash1e says:

      Good breakdown. Though his methodology is very flawed, the only thing Barry did right was to at least take the initiative and try to get what he wants. So many guys won’t even do that because they’re ashamed of their base desires.

  25. Sam says:

    Been there, done that. Barry might as well wear a kick-me sign.

    The better strategy would have been to pretend that Greg doesn’t even exist, and just leave a backhanded compliment: “Lovely earrings! You must have spent hours choosing them. You’re very vain, aren’t you? ;-)

    Yeah, that’s not asshole game. But it works for me.

  26. Anonymous says:

    It’s in a yearbook, so this is probably a young kid in high school. He probably buys in to the “girls like nice guys” tripe and is going full beta here based on that mistaken premise. Give him ten years to see the ways of the world.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Definitely beta, but “Barry” seems to have grown out of it a little bit. He did, after all, become President of the United States.

  28. earl says:

    Kelli,

    Bring da movies.

    Barry

  29. droog says:

    Wasn’t this what Obama wrote? That brunette in the prom photo that was released last week is Kelli.

  30. Fart Suckerberg says:

    There’s too much estrogen in the water or somethin……

  31. whitehall says:

    Really, really Beta.

    Writing longish notes to females in yearbooks is worst than beta.

    The note also violates the “no scarcity” attitude of an alpha.

  32. Anonymous says:

    Do any of you read the news? Young “Barry” is Barack Obama. I think things turned out ok for him.

    • Spiralina says:

      I know, it’s obviously Obama’s yearbook note. These readers crack me up sometimes with their staunch literalism.

    • Clash1e says:

      I tend to avoid the news. CH really is a scheming alpha to pull this easter egg haha. I should have noticed something was up, CH usually doesn’t put commentator’s or emailer’s name in quotations.

    • Anon says:

      “Do any of you read the news? Young “Barry” is Barack Obama. I think things turned out ok for him.”

      Not really… he’s married to Michelle Obama.

      He now has the power he craves and the ability to fuck as many white liberal women/men as he can, but ironically his balls are owned by Michelle.

      • corvinus says:

        There are multiple photos showing just how beta he is with Michelle. If we could only find one of Michelle rejecting a wedding kiss with him, that would be the icing on the cake.

        It’s telling that we really don’t hear about any girlfriends before Michelle, or even girls who had crushes on him.

        If he was white he wouldn’t have gotten anywhere in life, but since he fulfills the leftoids’ mixed-race wet dream, they gave him a carousel ride to the top.

        • Clash1e says:

          Affirmative action strikes again? Like many of these AA doctors who don’t know squat about medicine and have to look up everything while the patient waits, Barry seems equally ineffective. Fortunately for him his masters are making his every move now and generously grease the wheels for every societal change they tell him he should want.

        • Anonymous says:

          Obama won because of who he wasn’t, not who he was. He wasn’t as big of a doofus as McCain or a weirdo religious cult member like RINO Romney. If the Republicans nominated some actual normal-type people they might have a chance. I understand that Ron-Paul-libertarian-type belief in the Constitution and Bill of Rights conflicts with Jeebus nonsense and all the cash raked in from bombing the shit out of third-world countries, but Team Red’s really been scraping the bottom of the barrel lately. Obama really doesn’t matter. We’re all fucked no matter who gets to be the figurehead.

    • YaReally says:

      lol well shit, that explains a lot:

      http://www.tomatobubble.com/putin_obama.html

      I wonder what Putin’s yearbook entries say.

  33. Hook or Crook says:

    My breakdown:
    ——————————————————————————————–

    1)Adjective/Adverb overuse: so nice
    extremely sweet
    really deserve better

    (Surprised he didn’t throw in a “super”).

    2)Excessive use of compliments: Out of six sentences he directly complimented her four times (and the entire message is one indirect compliment). Is it possible to be clingy in a yearbook message? This comes damn close.

    3)Self deprecation: She “deserves better”; his jokes are lame; her time is more valuable than his so he’ll reward her with lunch. (See also: Compliments.)

    4)Use of “hope”. Women hope; men actualize.

    5)Failure to create emotional spikes: The entire thing was a beam of sunshine and rainbows up her ass. Where’s the playful conflict and tension?

    6)Mentions the other guy: Attempting to assume the good vibes that his friend created via name-dropping him is suicide. Either he’s going to remind her that the other dude is more interesting, or he’s going to anchor himself to another beta chump. Lose-lose.

    7)”Friend” plus the heart: *insert facepalm here*

    Score: Wincingly terrible. The only hint of balls in the entire note is when he calls her “foxy”, and that just feel like an asexual grrrl power high-five when tethered to everything else. He can still get the lay if the planets (and her menstrual cycle) align, but it will be in spite of him repeatedly stabbing his pride in the face and not because of it.

  34. IHTG says:

    What the fuck is this shit

  35. DarkTriad73 says:

    Barry AKA barrack Obama. Nearly as beta as our Prime Minister. But not quite.

  36. AlexDeLarge says:

    to me Barry doesn’t come across as beta as much as he comes across as a gay bff…

  37. soupfart says:

    This note is from the seventies. The context would be completely different today. Back then a letter like this would be expected from your boyfriend’s closest friend.

  38. Merces Letifer says:

    Is this some elaborate joke?

    Textbook beta.

  39. betablocker87 says:

    Fuck that piece of shit socialist. Ruining eerrrrr cuuunnntry.

  40. Ludwig Von Bern says:

    It appears that young Barry had a bit of a beta streak with the ladies as a lad.

    Apropos, the adult Barack propagates Big Government Beta Provider policies.

    A leopard cannot change its spots.

  41. Opus says:

    Don’t tell me – this really is your President – oh nooooooooo. How old would he have been when he was that gay beta?

  42. Lamont Cranston says:

    Beta. Too many compliments. Never mention another guy at all. Even if you spent have the winter chillin’ at Hef’s mansion, don’t mention Hef. Just the mansion. Heart symbols are only for women you’re monogamous with, not girls you’re not dating yet.

  43. itsme says:

    and he mentions greg about two times too many.

    a scheming alpha would mention greg in a context like ‘so when’s greg gonna put a ring on your finger?’ lube up the hamster wheel and give it a little flick…

  44. zmbikilr says:

    Kelli,

    It has been so nice getting to know you this year.

    [I’ve jerked off thinking of you all year]

    You are extremely sweet and foxy, I don’t know why Greg would want to spend any time with me at all!

    [I suck and Greg probably wouldn’t even let me lick his cum from your bunghole!]

    You really deserve better than clowns like us; you even laugh at my jokes!

    [Greg is a dick and you have a great future on the carousel! Maybe I can entertain you and your kids by other men one day]

    I hope we can keep in touch this summer, even though Greg will be gone.

    [I’ll console you if you find out Greg shagged some coed]

    Call me up, and I’ll buy you lunch sometimes. [phone number]

    [In the slim chance you’d ever marry me, I’d willingly hand you my paychecks]

    Anyway, good luck in everything you do, and stay happy.

    [Enjoy your 20s, I’ll be waiting for you at the Wall]

    You friend,

    Love [heart symbol]

    [I love you, my one and only]

  45. Kim du Toit says:

    You will find this letter to Kelli in the dictionary under “Beta”. Young Barry needs some serious mentoring.

  46. Binky says:

    Who says “foxy” anymore?

  47. Backdoor Man says:

    It goes to show that charisma can be learned. I knew Obama was going to win the election in 2008 just by watching his body language evolve; he started to swagger and embrace his own authority, and even though he was a political novice, I said to myself, “Damn, that guy is starting to look presidential.”

    • Jason says:

      Yup. His speeches don’t really need words. It’s all body language and vocal tone/pitch. Near the end of his campaign speeches, when Obama bends his head down to the mike and delivers a really long sentence, usually a list of diverse groups of citizens joining in political unity, the audience is already screaming.

      Of course, I know you guys HATE diverse groups of people, so let the snark begin falling like volcano ash in 3…2…1…

      • Greg Eliot says:

        No worries, alphie… your love balances things out.

      • Patriarch says:

        We love diversity.
        Irish
        German
        French
        Italian
        Scandinavian
        Ok. Maybe not the French so much.

        • corvinus says:

          The French are rapidly negrifying anyway, like the Brazilians but with more muzzies

          • Patriarch says:

            The French cannot be trusted.

          • Clash1e says:

            I was wondering why every girl I meet that claims to be French are swarthy. very unfortunate.

          • Patriarch says:

            Wrap your junk. It’s a good chance one of those French trenches will give you desert rot.

          • Tyrone says:

            French women are pretty sexy and they actually make good wives most of the time. Many know how to cook. France is still heavily majority native French, I’d say 90%+. But you have a lot of Algerians, Lebanese, Syrians, and Morroccans living there as well. They can also be very pretty and most are Europeanized.

  48. booger says:

    Darn, comments go by here so fast.

    I don’t even think it’s Beta. It’s Gamma. Not just supplication, but grovelling. It’s unbearable.

    That aside, can I sneak in an OT question: what if my sexual preference is femdom? How on earth does alpha game fit into this, if you’re supposed to be dominating all the time, including the bedroom?

    • Scray says:

      Didn’t Don Draper get a prostitute to slap him around, once? So….maybe however he did it.

  49. Maldek says:

    Beta

  50. Third Beta from the Sun says:

    I’d rather see what slick willie would’ve written. no dem.

    • corvinus says:

      Slick is definitely more alpha than Obummer, but if you consider the caliber of women that he has married, seduced, or forced himself on, I’d still rule him a beta.

      I mean… Hillary? Paula Jones? Fatass Monica? And wtf was that deal with Juanita Broaddrick?? Come on… it would seem being a liberal Democrat makes a man intrinsically less than completely alpha.

      • Amanjaw Marcuntte says:

        Lefties are notorious dumpster divers.

      • Jason says:

        Gennifer Flowers was a beauty pageant winner, and Bill was with her for at a year or two, right up through the ’92 election until the week he moved to DC.

        These days, she’s looking a little … odd.

        http://www.genniferflowers.com/

        • corvinus says:

          The point is, most of his women were pretty low-caliber. Gennifer is the only one that I would have wanted to fuck. If you compare Slick to, say, the women that Tiger Woods was involved with, it’s glaringly obvious.

          • Jason says:

            Good point … BUT remember that he was stuck in Arkansas on a public salary. Tiger, meanwhile, is a global icon with a private jet and more than a billion dollars.

            Different pools.

    • Greg Eliot says:

      Heh, heh… no dem… I see what you did there.

  51. Anonymous says:

    You are telling him to backstab (heh) his friend? Well it’s CH, silly me…

    I personally wouldn’t risk “political tension” between me and my friend just to score some pussy. Not worth it IMHO

  52. Igniss says:

    Beta to the core, with a nice tinge that hints the guy is not hopeless, but still has a loooong way to go.

    Are you guys serious about Obama? Surely that can’t be. Source?

  53. kubla says:

    I bet young “Barry” will grow up to marry a bitchy controlling woman.

    • corvinus says:

      I see what you did there.

      • kubla says:

        The type of broad who will nag you about what you should or shouldn’t eat. Crap like that. The type f broad who tell everyone you smell bad in the morning.

        • Amanjaw Marcuntte says:

          The type who sometimes even forgets that you exist.

          • Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh says:

            Haha, a Freudian slip betraying the First Lady’s desire to be dicked down by a real man. Caught on camera, no less.

            Barry better strengthen his marital bonds before Michelle decides to elope with an alpha interloper… that is, if she hasn’t done so, already.

          • YaReally says:

            Guys, guys, we can’t infer anything from photos or videos remember! I’ve seen pics of them kissing so obviously this means nothing!!

  54. HeManMasterofthePooniverse says:

    he’s a bitch. trying for scraps.

  55. Dan Fletcher says:

    For those who haven’t cracked the code, this yearbook note was written by Barack Obama.

    http://dailycaller.com/2013/05/23/obama-to-high-school-classmate-you-are-extremely-sweet-and-foxy-video/

  56. Tyrone says:

    He should say “You’re only really sexy to me with your panties around your ankles in high heels.”

  57. Amanjaw Marcuntte says:

    This should forever put to rest the “leaders of men are automatically alpha” nonsense.

  58. Anon says:

    Alpha of the Century!

  59. Scray says:

    I guess it all depends on how clever we think Barry is. On the one hand, maybe he knows that she’s going to show the note to Greg. For Greg not to think something’s up, Barry has to come off like a harmless nonthreatening tool. Maybe Greg will even give his blessing to them hanging out and talk about what a great guy Barry is. Then, Kelli, who thinks it’s just all some innocent fun and why not — Greg likes Barry a lot, after all, and he -is- a great guy — will pick up the phone and -call- Barry, thus -initiating- a hangout. This gets Barry the 1-on-1 hangout he needs to bang Kelli.

    Or……………………………………

    Ya, he just reaaaally reallllly likes her sooo soooo much and is uber beta. Yearbook notes are more often a time to confess crushes than to hatch schemes — if my yearbooks are any indication.

    • Plumnuts says:

      this topic is the ‘by any means’ angle I took an opposite position to a dozen posts back (if it came across as an anti-PUA, anti-self development attack then apologies). Do we pursue taken poon for the greater good of our game or take a moral stance and masturbate over holding the bro line? No idea, I try to do both and see the effect on my outlook.

      • Matthew King says:

        Pursue taken poon. The only way it can be construed as “taken” is through the tyrannical institutions of a regime we not only reject but aim to destroy. Ours is the “moral stance.”

        They want the state of nature in their halls and offices, bedrooms and streets. Give it to them.

        Except this comes with a major caveat: don’t destroy yourself in the process. “He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you” (Nietzsche, BG&E 146).

        The Crisis will end when we introduce the subverters to the full measure of the consequences of their ideology. But this can only be achieved by discipline, deliberate effort, and strategic targeting. Therefore targets of opportunity or targets of self-satisfaction, while not optimal, contribute to the cause.

        In other words, if you go fucking everybody’s wife because you like the danger and taboo, you still serve our purpose, even if you’re destroying yourself. Soon enough there will be no danger or taboo, however, and all that will remain is The Mission.

        Matt

      • Scray says:

        Yeah, I think what I tried, but failed, to articulate is that the world has just shoved me into a powerless box my whole life, and I’m just now trying to use whatever tools I can get — ‘game,’ working out, better self-control, a better handle on social dynamics — etc. to obtain some measure of strength. Now, once I’ve figured out how to gain that strength….that’s when I’ll tackle how I can best wield it. I don’t disagree that there’s a code of ethics in there somewhere, but for someone like me I believe it’s putting the cart before the horse.

        So I guess for now, the pursuit of strength/social power (greater good of the game skillset) overrides everything else —- within reason ;D. I’m not going to fuck my boss’s wife or anything.

        • Plumnuts says:

          Good on you. Fake it till you make it works, no doubt. I’ve only been red pill for about 2 years now, in that time reading online red pill stuff & slowly trying out things has benefited me immeasurably. Look forward to the next field report.

  60. aneroidocean says:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2329610/Obamas-high-school-yearbook-note-best-friends-girlfriend.html

    I find it interesting that according to his biographer that the girl “Genevieve Cook” who Barry dated for 1.5 years received the response of “thank you” when telling him that she loved him.

    • corvinus says:

      Genevieve Cook, an elementary school teacher, and Obama met at a Christmas party in the East Village in 1983.

      Cook, who was 25, and Obama, then 22, dated for 18 months, passing their time discussing books and cooking.

      She’s three years older than him, and looks to be about a 5 or a 6. Being alpha with an older homely woman really ain’t that difficult.

  61. Marky Mark says:

    Being a leader of men just means you are a… LEADER OF MEN! From what i’ve seen it GENERALLY correlates to being pretty alpha with women but not always… as in this case. But I bet if you get 100 leader types vs. 100 average joes the leaders will have better game with women overall.

    • Jason says:

      No way.

      The leaders don’t usually know how to calibrate or read women. All they have to do is walk into a room and be seen. No game necessary.

      • Marky Mark says:

        Which is fine if your in high school/college and have high status within a group but in a big city or if your travelling and can’t take that status with you… you better have some game. Overall though leaders of better social skills so they probably do better in any environment.

    • cynthia says:

      Who said anything about Obama being a leader of men? Just because he was elected president? You have any idea how much underhanded shit the Dems pulled, and how many lies he told, in order to get him into that office? It’s got nothing to do with some kind of innate leadership ability, because he doesn’t have any.

      Hell, look at his wife.

      • Jason says:

        Obama got hundreds of millions of people to believe in him enough to go vote for him. That’s inspirational, and that’s leadership.

        Your unwillingness to believe that doesn’t make it untrue.

        • Tyrone says:

          This administration has already made Nixon look like a choirboy.

          • Jason says:

            There is nobody like Kissinger or Liddy near the White House right now.

            And I see what you did there, skipping right over 43, the worst president of the last century, or at least since Harding. Bipartisan consensus on that.

  62. Plumnuts says:

    Barry O’s presentation I write off as beta, the will to take a taken woman…. grey area. I’ve rooted around there, most of the time unaware she was in fact taken, and I think it’s fair to say to most guys if the girl isn’t part of his social circle then the benefits trump the risks these days as the risks are that low. These days if a girl makes me aware in her own subtle way later that she’s involved then I prefer to move on to fresh pastures, if it makes me a beta for feeling bad to fuck a betas ho then so be it. Plenty more fish and all that. Then again, what girl isn’t involved at some level with at least one guy in this day and age? Help me CH, i’m gonna cry.

  63. Amanjaw Marcuntte says:

    Oh look, a news item titled Teen’s Large Chest Gets Her Unfairly Kicked Out of Prom (VIDEO).

    hmm…

    *click*

    FUCK… should’ve seen that coming.

  64. stevie tellatruth says:

    “He’s a beta at heart who became alpha through circumstance, mimicry and sheer grit.”

    Years of Chi-town ‘machine’ politics can do that to a dude.

  65. Greg Eliot says:

    That photo annoys me… even if the blonde appears to be looking at greg.

    Hope Michelle slapped some of the black off him when she saw it.

    • Greg Eliot says:

      The darn thing almost looks photoshopped, when you see how much bigger his head is that everyone else in the picture.

      I mean, after all, his noggin looks fairly small in the pictures we see of him today… and (ahem) they’re not usually known for oversize craniums.

  66. redpillmtl says:

    It’s all contextual. We don’t know how alpha he really was in his social circle, so this could be an intentionally extremely beta text by an alpha male who knows the girl would take it as a joke, or it could be an honestly, truly beta text by a true beta who thought it would get him some poon.

    I lean towards the latter

  67. necorochi says:

    Beta, weak sauce, most people don’t have the skill to follow through but then again beta’s have no boundaries.I personally doubt they hooked up, she probably desexualized him after reading that.

  68. […] via Sniveling Beta Or Scheming Alpha? | Chateau Heartiste. […]

  69. AltRight says:

    Pestering white women, then and now.

  70. Full-Fledged Fiasco says:

    Bitches be crazy.

  71. Mitch Cumstein says:

    I don’t often disagree with you, Heartiste, but here I do. High school is not indicative of how well someone will do later in life. Most everyone I know who was popular has gone to pot and let themselves go, and my 10 year reunion is right around the corner.

    I was fucking invisible to girls in high school, but when college came around, I built my own harem and I’ve maintained one ever since. I look back on high school now and regret the wasted potential, but my future is bright enough I don’t swell on it.

    A lot of people were betas before they learned better, including me, Barry, and I’m sure a lot of people on this board.

  72. Shawn says:

    The blonde (presumably Barry Soetoro’s date) is big boned and moon-faced. She looks okay in profile but she is nothing to write home about. Would. Not. Bang.

  73. earl says:

    I can cut Barry a little slack. His father wasn’t around so he had no real male role model…and he was the byproduct of a single mother who was a slut.

    There are only three ways a boy turns out from that scenario…a criminal, gay, or beta. Sometimes all three.

    • Tyrone says:

      That describes Barry pretty well.

      • Jason says:

        I thought you were smarter than that. Try not to let your loathing for black skin override your cortical functions.

        • Patriarch says:

          Barry being an idiot has nothing to do with his stupid black skin.
          The blame rests squarely on his stupid black brain.
          If you’re gonna be a cunt, at least get the bigotry right.

          • Jason says:

            And if you’re going to CONTINUE being a troll, practice your insults. I know you got some cajun slang down there to pepper me with, you beignet bitchboy.

            See, I’m helping you out with the trollery. Work on it and let’s see how it goes.

          • Patriarch says:

            Actually, I’m not Cajun.
            English, Irish and German out towards the Florida parishes, east side of the Mississippi.

          • Patriarch says:

            But beignet bitchboy was pretty funny. I may actually use that in real life.

          • Greg Eliot says:

            Wouldn’t want to fritter away a meaty jest.

          • Patriarch says:

            He’s being a Cafe Dumass.

          • Patriarch says:

            Besides, beignets are for pussies. I eat Jambalaya so spicy I shit blood.

  74. 411 says:

    They’re both beta. Greg knows her from somewhere else, but can’t talk to her on his own, so he brings Barry to take the pressure off. Barry and Greg try to out-beta each other during the year, but she puts them both in the friend zone. Barry thinks that if he could just get her alone she’d see the light, but he doesn’t know how. That is, until Greg goes off to college. So Barry leaves a low risk note with the pretense of “Just friends”.

    Kelli gets lonely so she calls the fruitcake who’s friends with the fruitcake from church, since she’s off to college in a couple weeks anyway. They go to lunch, where Barry gets nervous, then tells her that he’s in love with her.

    Kelli gets creeped out and goes to college early.

  75. Full-Fledged Fiasco says:

    WTF?.

  76. Mel Gibson says:

    Seeking advise:

    Been fucking and dating a solid 8.5 for three months. She’s LTR material, the first one worthy in a long time and the first since I fully unplugged about seven months ago. Was alpha with everything in life except a bumbling beta with women. That’s no longer.

    We see each other about once a week. I have zero oneitis for her, but I’d like to LTR her because she is one of the rare ones worth it.

    So, do I remain aloof and evasive and wait for her to ask, or be the man and take what I want by asking her to be my girlfriend?

    Thanks. Will gladly converse if you have questions.

    • That’s all well and good, but you never mentioned how she feels about you. You only see her about once a week, so there’s much you do not know about her. The best way to find out is through the subtle re-frame of the boss interviewing the someone for a plum job with great benefits.

      If she’s “LTR material” in your eyes, then give her opportunity to prove herself as such; instead of asking for something, tell her what you want and when you want it before secretly conducting her performance review. A series of behavioral compliance tests veiled as everyday, innocuous requests will quickly expose her true nature. You’ll need to carefully assess skills such as cooking, cleaning, and compassion for others before you decide to reward her with more of your large and thick remuneration package. She’s a potential LTR candidate but she’s not exempt from the rigorous interview process just because she’s passed her 3 month probation period. A temp worker is easily replaceable. Permanent positions, however, are earned through hard work and dedication to the boss — you.

      • I agree with HSBwSSF (best name on this fucking board, btw). Wait for her to broach the subject while you audition her. But also, in that time, think about it…are you just looking to LTR her because she is less drama than other women you know? Less hassle? You’re about to spend money, time, and resources on her. If I lose sleep about not being able to be with a girl, I’ll keep her around. If the most you can muster is, “Eh, might as well”, I’d advise against it.

        • Mel Gibson says:

          This is good stuff, gents. Thanks. I was thinking today about when we hang out this weekend to go through some seemingly innocuous things about her plans for life and the future. Ya know, what she wants, and if it meshes with what I want. Is this a woman who fits into my plan? She does a good job of following my lead, so I’ll give her that. She’s hung around for three months, is always DTF and affectionate, so I know her interest level is high. Plus, to this point I’ve only taken her out twice – to a movie and a ballgame. Both of which I was going to do anyway and she just happened to fit into that plan. It’s been mostly the Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks route.

          To your points, I do think testing more deeply her worthiness and obedience is something I should do while playing aloof and a bit elusive about exclusivity. Almost everything I’ve learned about Game is counter-intuitive, so NOT asking for her to be my g/f seems the best course at this time.

    • Plumnuts says:

      If that’s what you want you could see her a few more times a week then withdraw a bit and wait for her to ask the “how do you see me?/what’s our status” type question, or post pics on your Facebook of you with another girl where the pics more or less state “date” whilst could also be written off as just hanging out with a friend. Images for her to think about. Depends on you & her tho I think. If you want it to be more solid, it’s probably better if it’s her idea and you brush off the idea at first, withdraw very slightly & let things cool just a little, and then ‘come round to her way of thinking’ a while later, preferably after ramping up the emotions & getting asked by her again, cos then you’ve got stronger investment on her part. She’ll get the satisfaction that she’s won the prize, and you’ll know why, making you feel in control. Just my 2 pence worth based on my own experiences.

    • Slang says:

      I would say never ask her to be your girlfriend. Fuck man, she needs to be nagging you for the right to be granted such a title.

      • Patriarch says:

        Exactly what Slang said. You don’t even consider it till she’s begging you for the label.

        • Mel Gibson says:

          This is the type of shit I needed. Thanks.

          • Patriarch says:

            Its the same with every other issue too. No talking about emotional stuff until she begs for it and even then give grudgingly. Shes gonna say “so I was thinking about us. About what this is… what are we?”
            A good response is “shut up!” Then grin and kiss her.

          • Slang says:

            “You and me baby ain’t nothin but mammals, so lets do it like they do on the Discovery channel.” In a fun singing voice, then start grinding on her ass.

    • Master Beta says:

      Wise man says:

      In all healthy relationships, the man pursues the sex and the woman pursues the commitment.

  77. walawala says:

    This is the kind of note that most guys who don’t understand game would write.

    Yah yah…surprise, it’s Obama.

    But it could be any one of us. Until you understand that over communication with women makes you a beta orbiter, you appeal to her logical side.

    The exception is to drop all the “you’re nice” stuff and just say “Was cool hanging out this year, let’s do it over the summer, my number is xxxx”

    This is too long and oozes desperation.

    • earl says:

      Depends on what you are communicating.

      If you tell interesting stories you can talk more…if your communication is nothing more than kiss assery…then yeah that’s beta.

      Most women when they talk about most things bore me to death…I like to bring up interesting stories that get their imagination going. The upside is they also shut their yaps.

  78. Welp.
    It was always obvious who wears the pants in the White House anyway.

  79. Danny says:

    Too bad he’s still a beta with foreign policy. Or to quote our next beta CinC, “what does it matter?”

  80. popups says:

    maybe this note wouldn’t be considered beta back then? I mean buying a girl lunch might be beta now, but was it really beta back then?

  81. Not sure I really buy the idea that scheming to fuck a friend’s girlfriend behind his back is the mark of an alpha. It COULD indicate a certain level of cockiness, but it could just as easily be seen as beta desperation–I think most guys who can get pussy at will would be willing to pass up that one opportunity and instead be loyal to their bro.

    http://suppressedtruthsociety.wordpress.com/

    • Dan Fletcher says:

      “I think most guys who can get pussy at will would be willing to pass up that one opportunity and instead be loyal to their bro.”

      Generally true I think. Though I’ve known some scummy alphas who pursued their friend’s girls.

      The CH definition of alpha doesn’t mean you’re a good man, just that you’re good with women.

  82. Slang says:

    I like the photo. Question that can never be answered:

    Where is Bam Bam’s left arm?

    Is it planted firmly on the blonde’s back side, or is it hovering half an inch above the dainty white meat?

    • Hair Slicked Back With Swag So Fresh says:

      Neither. It’s wedged firmly in the wet folds of her nether region. Why do you think she’s grinnin’ from ear to ear?

    • santa666 says:

      His hand is around her waist, you can see his darky fingers between hers on her left hand. The hand that is hovering above his, and almost appears to be trying to peel his fingers away from her body.

  83. thwack says:

    Actually, all of you are wrong. Sure, its a beta move, but its also largely irrelevant because a black male in an all white enviroment is assumed alpha because of white peoples perceptions of what a black male is.

    Happens all the time.

    Happened to me.

    Many black males dial back on the alpha because THEY DON’T NEED IT because they are black.

    I run straight up poindexter game because white people assume I can dunk, got a dick as long as a row boat, and have raped a few white women.

    I know, I know… sucks to be me.

    This is why I find this blog so funny.

    • Marky Mark says:

      So your saying you don’t need to run much ‘alpha style’ game to pull chicks in that type of environment?

    • Matthew King says:

      You’re such a racist. Not All Stereotypes Are Like That.

      a black male in an all white enviroment is assumed alpha because of white people’s hipster fairy leftish SWPL’s perceptions of what a black male is.

      Fixed that for you.

  84. retrophoebia says:

    This explains Michelle.

  85. Gracian says:

    1. It is pathetic, beta, and vile to try to ‘get at the same girl’ your buddy is either dating and/or fucking.

    2. The comment at the bottom of the Obama pic is quite perculiar, particularly given that Obama his biologically 50% white and was directly raised/developed by his white mother, grandmother, and grandfather. Frankly, the fact that a ’50% white guy’ actually dated girls that were the same color as his mother is quite understandable and expected.

    • Greg Eliot says:

      What’s the white girls’ excuse?

      • Gracian says:

        The “white girls excuse”? Really, OMG man, ROFL! It hurts you that bad?

        Some of you ‘wanna-be-alphas’ are just insecure, 100% bitch-made, punk-sissy, ‘keyboard assassins’.

        You will never be an alpha. And ‘faking it until you make it’ will not work for most of you, because a real alpha — like an alpha wolf, lion, gorilla — will sniff you out and expose you.

        • Patriarch says:

          I’ve never seen an alpha wolf use “OMG” in a conversation either.

        • Greg Eliot says:

          The “white girls excuse”? Really, OMG man, ROFL! It hurts you that bad?

          Well, since you brought God into it, let me tell you what hurts… and see if you can wrap your dick-first-anything-goes mind around it.

          Note I’m assuming you’re white…

          If not, well… no point in reading further… we are of disparate ideals and motivations, and there is enmity between your seed and mine, if you begrudge my extended family their right to survive.

          Look at the two kids on the left… they could pass for brother and sister, ‘though they’re not. If they got married and had children, each child would look like mother AND father, and 17 years from now another picture could be taken with similar results… and 17 years after that… and, well… you get the picture. As the Greeks would say: The oikos LIVES!!! A secured existence of my race and a future for white children.

          Merely because I think they’re beautiful and believe that God set things up this way for a reason… perhaps merely because HE too thinks they’re beautiful.

          Now look at the two on the left… what result happens there? The kids will look like the father, and whatever beauty evinced itself in the blonde mother through tens of thousands of years of evolution, indeed, God’s handiwork and unimaginably creative plan, disappears in one generation.

          Yes… the thought of that result hurts me that bad.

          It’s an affront to me and all who think like me… but more important, it’s an affront to God, the way I understand Him in my heart.

          The continued existence of what I consider my extended family is NOT negotiable… and not snark fodder for you self-styled Lotharios.

      • Gracian says:

        WTF. Are you serious?

        • Greg Eliot says:

          Hit a nerve, did I?

          You’re either a darky yourself, then… in which case there’s a vicarious holiday in your heart every time you see a white girl defiled… surprise, surprise… or you’re a dweeb deracinated SWPL/South Park denizen… in which case you’re equally of no account.

          And I find all this “YOU’RE NO ALPHA!” shaming language here by you alleged PUAs to be just a variant of the Cathedral tripe.

          Funny how I only have to hear said bullshit in Cyberia… no one ever says it to me in meat world… go figure.

          • Matthew King says:

            I’m back to a pearls-before-swine, forget-it-Greg-it’s-Chinatown mode. Seriously, fuck this endless gook swarm of overbearing dweebery.

            There is no jest, nor zinger, nor mot; there is no quip, nor discourse, nor quote; to make up for a sissy childhood. What unites these latter-day, middle-aged gamesters is their remedial crash-course in manhood, and they are striving hard to make up for lost time.

            They can’t relax, they have vengeful hearts, they spit snit like schoolboys. After a misspent youth of omegatude, they have finally reached the stage in their manly development when they can be combative — which should have come ten or twenty years prior. Now they should be easing back into their throne and enjoying the fruits of their labors, letting the aspiring minions do all the petty scuffling, but this won’t happen for decades hence.

            How do you convey that reality in the South Park idiom? You can’t.

            And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
            And shining morning face, creeping like snail
            Unwillingly to school.

            And then the lover,
            Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
            Made to his mistress’ eyebrow.

            Then a soldier,
            Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
            Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
            Seeking the bubble reputation
            Even in the cannon’s mouth.

            They’re all on schedule — but for the lost decade they can never get back. They can only resent their permanent displacement, their retardation.

            Outnumbered and surrounded, there is no point dying on this hill. This isn’t the Alamo. This isn’t Zulu. This is a bleacher fight against hecklers who hate your visiting-team jersey.

            I like the idea of policing the ranks to make sure places like these don’t turn into HuffPo. But squash one roach, another rises to take its place. There is a world elsewhere.

            (Although, I did see that the late, great commenter A.B. Dada resurrected briefly, which is a hopeful sign.)

            Matt

          • Greg Eliot says:

            As usual, your words resound true.

            Indeed, some around here have definitely missed a stage or two of the seven allotted for Man… good reference.

            I don’t mind being in Chinatown… but I have to draw the line at Bizarro world.

          • corvinus says:

            Now they should be easing back into their throne and enjoying the fruits of their labors, letting the aspiring minions do all the petty scuffling, but this won’t happen for decades hence.

            It’s a learning and maturing process. I can relate; I myself have probably matured five years in the last one and a half years since I started coming here, and my acquaintances have all noticed. But by attempting to declare themselves done like the people you’re referring to is leaving them half-baked.

            The SWPLs like Sweetheart Gracian, of course, have an extra hurdle to go over — namely, the emasculating philosophy that they take as self-evident troof.

  86. santa666 says:

    The red head is hotter and has some massive tits. Very nice.

  87. Opus says:

    Well now that the picture is up, one has a very different take on these things: Barry is cooing over the redhead, but the much hotter blond is pulling away. ‘How dare Barry think he can have the both of us’. she seems to be saying. The real take-away of course is, that although at that age Barry thinks he can pass as White (and the two girls are too polite to suggest otherwise) we now know that Barry ultimately decided that, yes, he is Black, and hence falls for ‘single mum’ Michelle. My friends Dr Freud of Vienna says that in rage against this, Barry (like Alberich in The Ring) forsakes love (at least with white women) for the purpose of subduing the world and thus subduing white men. Miscegnation is a terrible thing so choose your parents wisely, though sadly Barry didn’t.

    Having said that, on reflection, Barry’s note, although a bit beta, is actually quite funny and knowingly self-deprecating. He is clearly a bright lad, but has any woman noticed this? Of course not, as women are dreadful judges of male quality. Poor Barry – eighteen months with an older woman, screams Beta.

  88. chris says:

    Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters by Dr Helen from PJMedia.

    Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream - and Why It Matters

    Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters

    Buy from Amazon

    Buy from Amazon

    I bought a kindle version and my suggestion to those who want to help change the culture in a man friendly direction while barely lifting a finger should also buy this book. The kindle version is only $9, and if this book was sent to the top of the charts on Amazon or on various best selling booklists it would send a massive wake-up call to the culture.

    • YaReally says:

      Per-ordered on principle. This will be an important book one day.

    • Holden Caulfield says:

      I’m assuming its not a bunch of feminist propaganda urging men to “man up” or some other equally irritating bullshit? If so, give it the Fahrenheit 451 treatment…

  89. Social Cream says:

    He’s a strange mix of beta and alpha, but even though I hate the guy there is something to be learned from him. He is the POTUS. I respect the office at least.

  90. Total snivelling beta, although he’s a bit cleverer by trying to couch it in cheeky-chappie attitude.

    Most importantly of all he writes too much,

    Alpha is less. Alpha is taciturn.

    This is only one step away from that Fakebook entry, “Linda, let’s go for coffee sometime” etc etc etc

  91. Holy Christ. I only just saw who the author of this piece of shit really was.

    I wrote:-
    “Total snivelling beta, although he’s a bit cleverer by trying to couch it in cheeky-chappie attitude.

    Most importantly of all he writes too much,

    Alpha is less. Alpha is taciturn.

    This is only one step away from that Fakebook entry, “Linda, let’s go for coffee sometime” etc etc etc” …
    without seeing who I was writing about.

    Mind you, I see nothing to make me change my mind.

    That is appalling. This is a huge scoop and an incredible tell about the character of Obama.

    Beta all along.

  92. Anonymous says:

    The reveal paints a clearer picture. Alpha or beta is irrelevant. This is a fag looking for a beard.

    • Greg Eliot says:

      So you’re saying he didn’t truly find Michelle’s confidence sexy?

      lozozlzozlozlzlzlzozozlzlzlzl

  93. AlphaBeta says:

    How many alphas? How many betas? How many omegas?

    http://imgur.com/a/C2uKS

  94. Anonymous says:

    Regarding HBD Bibliography’s RT. That racial classification is obsolete. Check it out:
    http://europasoberana.blogspot.com.es/2013/05/the-new-racial-classification-i.html

  95. Dr. Zoidberg says:

    Is “I was the first to sign your crack” on the binding edge of the yearbook alpha or beta?

  96. Trouble says:

    RUSH says Moochelle has the onions in that family

  97. sfer says:

    I wonder if there is a “that one black guy at school” game to pick up white girls. You are the only black guy so you play down your blackness and play up your interest in stuff like white rock, books and borderline beta stuff.

    • Greg Eliot says:

      And join the chess club, en passant.

      (geez, sometimes I even crack myself up)

      • Greg Eliot says:

        Heh, heh… ’cause ya see, en passant is a chess move that means “in passing” and “passing” is an old school phrase for when a light-skinned minority makes his or her way among and is accepted by white society and… aw, forget it.

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