There’a a game technique known as “qualification” which serves as a status raising mechanism during interactions with hypergamous girls (which are all of them). The idea is that, by screening girls for qualities you want in them, you simultaneously signal your higher value. You are a man with so many romantic options you can pick and choose which women you want in your life.
This is a radical concept for most men, because men, as the “chaser” sex, rarely think to qualify girls for acceptability. Mostly, men are thinking how best to impress a girl so that she will reward him with her sex. A man who qualifies a woman — essentially doing to a woman what a woman would do instinctually to a man — sets himself so far apart from the mass of malehood that women can’t help but swoon at his feet.
The flip side to this is dealing with women’s attempts to qualify you. And qualify you they will, because women are guided by a primal limbic force to assess a man’s intrinsic mate quality, a holistic quality which they cannot get from merely looking at him.
Myxomatosis (gross!) writes,
Off-topic, but I figure I’d share…a girl recently asked me in a bar one night who did I prefer best: Van Halen with David Lee Roth or Van Halen with Sammy Hagar? I answered David Lee Roth. She said: “Good, because if you answered Sammy Hagar I would have walked away. Now i know what kind of man you are. Van Halen makes sissy music with Hagar.”
Myx’s anecdote is a classic of the genre. She qualified him. The fact that she was interested enough to determine his opinion on something that ostensibly mattered to her is an indication that she’s aroused and sex is bubbling forth from the back of her brain. But she’s also a little insecure and wants to get “hand”. The more a girl likes you, the more insecure she will feel, and the harder she will try to maintain hand. Girls are all too aware that once they lose hand, they quickly succumb to sexual abandon.
Get used to the idea that girls are walking paradoxes. They attempt to undermine exactly that which they most desire. Women desire dominant men who have earned “hand” over them, but they will work tirelessly to prevent men from achieving that hand, or they will work to exert the force of their own hand. If you think this is crazy, understand that a woman will feel as if she has failed if she did not adequately test a man for his strength of hand. Honor is a man’s purpose in life. The shit test is a woman’s.
When a girl qualifies you, one way you handle it is by AGREEING & AMPLIFYING:
“Wow. I WIN. WINNING. I can’t tell you how awesome I feel right now that you approve of my musical taste.”
Make sure she catches the sarcasm. Or, you could go lower key:
“Am I being graded on a curve?”
The trick is to take a girl’s qualification test and use its power against her. Another powerful technique for subverting a girl’s effort to qualify you is to DISQUALIFY yourself. For instance,
“Hagar, totally. Top 40 rock ballad Van Halen is authentic. The real deal. I have his poster over my bed.”
Disqualifying yourself (DQ) shows you don’t need the girl’s approval.
Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to get trapped by a woman’s qualification. Don’t give a straight answer. Don’t give an earnest answer, unless it’s to fuck with her expectations by dropping a DQ on her. Most men can’t resist the urge to appease or brag when a cute girl inquires about their worth, so don’t be most men.
What to do if a girl tries to subvert your own qualification of her? Roll with it! You have just experienced what flirting is all about. The parrying, the evasion, the hand over hand over hand maneuvers, the sly redirections — that, my friend, is the flirt. And chicks dig the flirt.
But since you’re worried that girls will be as evasive as you are, I have good news: most girls are happy to be qualified, they love it, and they swiftly oblige the qualifier because they love to talk about themselves. When a man qualifies a girl, she is usually so taken aback with shock at his wonderful impudence that she can’t help but stick her foot right in his beaver trap.
I can wholeheartedly agree with this.
Not only from women, but also with other alpha males.
I live with two quasi-alpha guys who break my balls a lot, we all do. It’s fun/funny for a while but they overdo to it to the point of being annoying, really.
It will often go like this…a few examples:
Situation: I go to bikram yoga, eat paleo, and juice.
Roommates: Something about being “a fag” whatever.
My response: “Oh totally. After class, we all go suck cocks on the Golden Gate Bridge.”
Situation: Having a shirt and blazer tailored.
Roommates: Something about prissy.
My response: “Oh, you don’t know the half of it. You haven’t seen my floor length dress and ballet tutu.”
A few rounds of this…and the shit-testing has stopped.
This is where the whole alpha/beta/gamma/whatever schema falls flat on it’s face. If it’s 3 guys how can they all be alpha?
@ Hugh G. Rection – King Leonidas of Sparta had an army of 300 men…
That was a movie, dipshit. Spartans were mostly fags and communists.
Sounds like ur roomies are fat slobs who are jealous of you.
The agree and amplify, while fun to do with chicks, seems a bit homo to do with other dudes.
[CH: Agreed. While there’s overlap, the psychological games that work on women don’t usually work on men.]
I agree, that’s not how busting balls works.
NOT this. If someone calls you gay, you tell them their mom must love gay dicks then. Default response is you f’d their mom. Bonus points for calling their dad a chump at the same time. ‘I’m gay, huh. Is your dad gay for watching me f you’re mom?’
Never agree that you’re a chump. Especially in the presence of women.
‘nice cow outfit, where can I pick one of those up, at the gay zoo? Homo.’
‘It’s not a cow. It’s a minotaur. It’s a creature of myth. And I got it from your mom’s closet. After I f’d her.’
Even a simple, ‘ha ha, f you’ is better.
The only reason the shit testing stopped was cuz they were running out of material.
You could have said anything else to get hand. Instead you handed it over.
‘I’m gay? And being an overweight video game playing piece of shit that jerks off to midget porn is hetero? Where do I sign up? ‘
You guys hang with other dudes who would call you “gay” in front of a chick?
Sheesh.
You need to get a better quality of buddies.
A much, much better quality.
Any dude who ever tried to pull that shit with me is a dude, who, at a bare minimum, I’d never talk to for the rest of my life.
Of course, being a southerner, and depending on what kind of mood I was in, I might just lose my temper and send the motherfucker to the Emergency Room.
On a stretcher.
Nobody said anything about “in front of a chick”, tough guy.
Although I agree with his mates, simple man is a total fag.
HGR: Nobody said anything about “in front of a chick”, tough guy.
pulsotic: Never agree that you’re a chump. Especially in the presence of women.
Allow me to repeat that: ESPECIALLY IN THE PRESENCE OF WOMEN.
Is that clear enough for you?
Situation: I go to bikram yoga, eat paleo, and juice.
Roommates: Something about being “a fag” whatever.
A: Yeah, because I like to meet women with banging bodies.
Situation: Having a shirt and blazer tailored.
Roommates: Something about prissy.
A: Yeah, James Bond is hella prissy.
everybody knows Peak Hagar was when he fronted Montrose
And Van Halen were his opening act.
What about using her chosen qualification as a disqualification for her? Using the given example: “Eddie was the only part of that band worth mentioning, a preference in frontman is ghey.”
The idea is good, but the example you give is too nerdy. Keep it short and simple for girls (especially hot girls).
“Who cares about Van Halen’s singer?” would be better.
But isn’t the whole point of game to put your foot in her beaver trap, not the other way around?
Depends on the beaver
Riskier, but instead of answering her question, tell her Van Halen blows and if it means that much to her you probably wouldn’t get along anyway. Mild smirk and eyebrow raise as needed.
Amazing post. Definitely beats the inane extremist politics.
Handling qualification properly is such a key part of game.
inane extremist politics.
Ah, yes, Going back to a time when the US gov wasn’t 17 trillion dollars in debt, keeping out people who actively want to kill us, and actually having a somewhat free market is extremist politics.
What is an example of a girl trying to subvert your own qualification of her? What is a man supposed to say in response?
it all seems to boil down to not being afraid of women.
Awesome post! I agree with about 90% of your political posts but such things are too depressing to think about too often. And Game has the opposite effect of thinking about politics.
Great post. Well said. Agree 100%.
This passage must be a separate, hallowed entry in the CH Bible that is surely ‘under construction’:
Get used to the idea that girls are walking paradoxes. They attempt to undermine exactly that which they most desire. Women desire dominant men who have earned “hand” over them, but they will work tirelessly to prevent men from achieving that hand, or they will work to exert the force of their own hand. If you think this is crazy, understand that a woman will feel as if she has failed if she did not adequately test a man for his strength of hand. Honor is a man’s purpose in life. The shit test is a woman’s.
This makes so much sense now. I have a friend who was a prodigy race car driver since he was in high school and has pulled pretty much nothing but swimsuit models his entire life. Once I watched him talking with an attractive girl — an 8 — for the first time, while we were hanging out at a ski resort. She asked him what he did for a living — attempting to qualify him — and he said that he was unemployed and a “booger-eating moron.” And he repeated it a couple more times, after she kept pressing him for a straight answer. He delivered it in a way that said, “I don’t care if you are impressed with me.” (In truth, he was recovering from a bad injury and actually had been unemployed for a few years.) Of course, she loved his brashness and hung on his every word. At the time, I had no idea why he was saying it and why it was having that affect on her. I don’t even think it was calculated on his part. From what I’ve learned on this site, that’s just how some guys roll who have dated tons of 10s. But for the rest of us, the technique is relatively easy to apply once you become adept at sniffing out the qualification.
I dunno. My gut reaction is this was a girl trying to ‘Game’ a guy. Basically, she asked him some inane question just to get to speak to him, then told him he ‘passed the test’ (that didn’t exist) to move things along.
Basically, it sounds like a Bar Star took a shining to him, and moved in for the kill. Ten bucks says she doesn’t even listen to Van Halen.
Successful gaming of fellow alpha types usually comes down to getting them to laugh, out loud, in public, on the record, at just the right time. That way, everybody normally gets to keep their ball-sacks. Which can be important, at least in terms of death/not-death.
At one make or break meeting with the ELDERS in my career path I told a joke along the lines of how I could understand their suspisicians that I must have been engaged in extremely bad behaviour, even compound felonies,. because of the nature of the lateral moves I had made. I told them that I do not blame them for suspecting that to be the explanation.But I did remind them that in my case personally I was never caught..
For that, I could have been fired, or worse. Instead, they cheered, and offered me a toast.
Watch “GoodFellas” 3 times for the background.
“Are we really eating here?”
“No, I’m dropping you off while I go find a really hot girl.”
…………………….
“Where do you buy your clothes?”
“I don’t. I wait till a rich dude dies, and then I rob his grave. The pants are short, but I wear a trench coat.”
…………………….
Where did you go to college?”
“Didn’t. I was so smart I had the college come to me. Didn’t you attend Mrs. Bulgebottom’s School for Wayward Girls?”
…………………..
“You play the clarinet. Isn’t that kind of a gay instrument.”
“No, actually I use it as a blow gun. I’m a pygmy. I use it to bring in monkeys. See? And here you are?”
“Huh?…
“Oh, don’t be shy. Make one of those ook noises for us. Show us your butt.”
…………………..
“Did you cut your hair yourself?”
“No, I had you mother cut it right after I boned her. She spoke well of you, by the way.”
This happens a lot in text and online game.
I have a routine I culled together which helps to reframe this.
Girl: Do you use these lines on all girls….OR….you’re just trying to get into my pants OR…some variation of “you’re going to have to try harder if you want to get my number’
ME: Nah, I”m too lazy…and picky, there’s a test…strawberries ….or chocoate
Her: This is a stupid quiz
Me: Stop stalling
Then it goes like this
Whatever response she gives, if you like it offer +5 if not -5
Next
ME: Heels….or..flats
HER blah blah
Me: + – 5
ME: Brazilian….or Hollywood?
Her: Blah blah blah….
FINAL QUESTION:
ME: Besides your lips, what part of your body do you most like kissed?
Her blah blah blah
ME: “That’s weird” or “interesting” or whatever
Then as a prize I let them ask 2 questions….
8/10 times I get a number.
After that it’s hit and miss. A lot of girls just want to banter and not meet up.
But this little quiz is a good qualification reframer.
I like reading your posts almost as much as yareally’s. I find girls are more tenacious in shit tests via text rather than face to face.
Factory might have a point, because she could have had an answer ready either way the guy would have answered.
But If she was really trying to qualify him , then I’d disagree with CH. I’d suggest going with slight negs and disinterest. to make her qualify herself. LIke saying with mild disinterestt “So a guy’s musical taste means a lot to you, does it?” Or “Iif you don’t like sissy music, then you must like Beethoven because his music makes you feel like he’s out to crack heads.”
Either she walks away or tries to qualify herself.