A reader asks,
What advice would you give when one finds himself on a first date with a fuckable woman (7ish) who is incredibly boring? Boring in the sense she has little to say, and only responds passively to a variety of stimuli. I had two such dates three days apart and found myself starting to beta-ize myself (still somewhat new) to establish some connection and procure what I was after (finishing 1 for 2, though the 1 was not what dreams are made of). I know this is not the answer.
To be fair, I am not particularly funny, but I am a psychologist and skilled at opening (which can work for and against me as the frame is set).
Is she acting bored, or is she genuinely boring? The distinction is important. Exciting women can be brought to bored lows in the company of boring men. A woman who passively responds to stimuli could have in her possession such a wealth of experience with men that it takes a lot to get her invested in any one particular date. (This is a problem if you date sluts.) If that’s happening, the problem is fixed by challenging those women. You can spark a girl right up by teasing her, or by doing something unpredictable.
If the girl is actually a boring person, then two possibilities about her person come to mind: one, she’s not very bright (stupid girls don’t often have interesting things to say, nor are they adept at moving conversations along) or two, she’s introverted, and would have a lot to say if you know how to motivate her to open up.
Men typically repsond to boring (and bored) women by trying extra hard to perk them up. This is the beta male strategy, and it almost always fails, (at least on the timelines we’re interested in), because VALUE is lost when it looks like you have to work to entertain a girl. So we know what you have to avoid: you must avoid the impression that you’re trying to get her to liven up.
If the girl is boring because she’s stupid, go caveman. Dispense with the chit-chat and grab her for the bumpngrind. Dumb girls respond well to primitive courtship displays.
If the girl is boring because she’s shy, you say to her that you know what it’s like, but you have hope for her because you’ve learned from experience that shy girls usually have a lot of interesting things to say once they feel comfortable enough to share it. Tell her to take her time blossoming like a flower, because once the floodgates open you don’t want to drown in it all at once. You refer the slow pour.
If the girl is bored because you’re too beta for her, well… read the archives. Time to amp up the teasing, cocky/funny, mild insults, venue bouncing, agreement and amplification, etc etc. Draw situational women into your orbit to build jealousy plot lines. Flirt with the waitress in full view of your date.
If the girl is boring because she has nothing to say (regardless of her level of smarts), you need to improve your rapport game. Start by learning the “love test routine” and get this chick glowing with girly excitement!
Bonus pointer: Refrain from calling out a girl for being boring. This tactic hardly ever works when you’re already on a date with her. IF you do want to hit her with that, try to dress it up as a backhanded compliment, eg: “It’s so nice to be with a girl for once who is Ok with just sitting next to you quietly and not feeling like she has to say something amazing every five seconds.” That’ll get her hamster spinning furiously.
Or Teppanyaki. That way, at least you have something to entertain you.
she’s not very bright (stupid girls don’t often have interesting things to say, nor are they adept at moving conversations along) or two, she’s introverted, and would have a lot to say if you know how to motivate her to open up.
Some chicks are just boring. Lack of creativity is not the same thing as stupidity. I’ve dated girls who were plenty smart, but boring as hell. The same thing with introversion: it’s not the same things as lack of creativity. Some girls don’t have anything interesting to bring out.
If it’s because she’s shy/introverted, you can generally rest assured she is (assuming you possess a modicum of attractiveness) in her head and self-conscious about her shyness and worrying you’ll find her under-stimulating.
– Get her drinking to open her up.
– If you think she’s worth the effort then realize it’ll take some time for her to feel completely comfortable around you.
– Don’t worry about – again, assuming you possess a modicum of attractiveness – coming across “beta” or whatever too much. You probably run more of a risk of over-qualification with such a girl.
– Don’t be too afraid of being a little soft and vulnerable. Lead by example here. Being soft and vulnerable doesn’t have to be “beta” either. You’re being straightforward and honest and showing her it’s also OK for her to do it.
What if she’s too young to drink?
Get her drinking to open her up.
Also caffeine makes people very talkative.
A good technique can be to mix caffeine with alcohol – Rum and Coke, Irish Coffee, that sort of thing.
If you’re at your place or at her place or have access to a friend’s bar, they’re really easy drinks to make – get some high-caffeine espresso, throw in some Kahlua, maybe some chocolate milk or chocolate icecream, some creme-de-menthe, and then some bourbon or vodka or whatever you have lying around.
Or carry a flask [of something nice] in your coat pocket, take her to Starbucks, and when none of the Nanny State prudes are looking, mix it all up and get drunk and obnoxious right there in front of all the prim and proper SWPLs [who will secretly be jealous as hell of you, even though they are all trying to look down their noses at you].
Also, along those lines, if you’re going to the movies, you can put Bacardi in your flask, purchase Cokes at the concession stand, and then mix her Rum and Cokes in the theater once the lights go down.
And after all this boozing and caffeinating, you might go for some sex in public places…
How do i deal with the ” Do you love me? ” test during sex?
“I know.” – Han Solo
(Cue Chewbacca sounding unhappy in the background.)
“It’s complicated.”
“Yes, I’m crazy about you.”
Ah, yes… what would the chateau be without a woman’s touch?
llllozozozozozlzlzlzlzlzozozozozllllll
“i’m gonna have to adopt you as my kid sister”
“sure”
1)”RAPE!”
—Whorefinder.
2) Han Solo’s answer (already quoted)
3) “Your sister’s pussy tastes better.”
4) “the other girl’s pussy is tighter.”
5) “Your mom says it better.”
I’ve used the: “I love you this much” and spaced my hands a tiny little bit in a teaseful way. She played the “angry card”. And I kept teasing: It might grow. Depends on you
Haha! That *was* fun.
– short (I am in a hurry here!)
– 10 and 10 (it seems logical since I can’t make up my mind quickly)
– let in (I have a perfect right to see him, afterall)
– bed (windowsill? windowsills are for grandmas)
– sleeping (he should be tired!)
– scenic (I’m in no hurry now)
Women who seem shy, prescribe them with a dose of good discussion. I disagree that it’s completely beta if you talk too much in this respect. If you can ramble enough that it seems like you’re doing it because this is how you normally are and you’re simply reciting your thoughts, which are mostly interesting, it forces her to invest, and it makes her uncomfortable to the point of comfort. I think, it’s also a good principle to ask a lot of questions that are open ended. Avoid all ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions, and you’re golden.
I’ve done this on numerous “shy/boring girl” dates. Always gotten results.
It becomes beta when you jester her as a comedic act.
I have too…in fact most of the time when you first meet a gal she isn’t going to simply open up anyway until you get the rapport going. You are supposed to be the leader of the conversation.
Its funny!Just before I came to this blog I was thinking about just how boring the vast majority of women are and about how the whole dating/pick-up scene as a whole is mostly a giant bore.
Then I see the latest post is about boring women (which is the vast majority of them).
Most girls have shit conversational skills because they usually just try and coast on their looks or sexuality – The lights are on but no one’s home. They usually lack personalities and therefore any real interests or experiences they can speak about. So you then get short, uninteresting answers. If you try and keep the conversation going with questions to get them to open up then it ends up feeling like a job interview or interrogation.
As someone suggested, keep the booze flowing. I’m pretty shy, myself, but I loosen up after a few drinks. I’ve also learned that if there are any awkward pauses to just shut up and wait for her to speak up. First, it’s sort of alpha to act aloof for those couple of seconds. Also, women can’t exist in silence or feel like they’re being ignored, so they’ll speak up and keep the conversation going. Keep doing this and perhaps they’ll even start to lead the conversation.
Still, I prefer girls approaching me, as it shows genuine interest. In these cases I can usually sit back and give short answers while they do the heavy lifting. I have to say, I’ve sometimes done more mental work on dates than I did on my SATs.
One of the benefits of growing up fat, ugly, intelligent and friendless: I read a lot, socialized with adults, and had to be something other than a vapid, pretty cheerleader.
I have a better adult life for it.
“Refrain from calling out a girl for being boring.”
Yeah, you can only really do this once you’ve established rapport, and only if you’re teasing her. Making this your opener is sure-fire failure. Calling her this in the middle of a word association game on the fourth date when you know she’s already smitten with you just makes her work a little harder to impress you.
To make a broader point, the rightness or wrongness of an action, in regards to Game, usually depends on context. Calling a girl boring will work or fail depending on context and delivery. Giving a girl flowers will work or fail depending on context or delivery. Giving a girl a hand-drawn picture of a hand-turkey as a Thanksgiving Day present will work or fail depending on context or delivery. Asking whether a specific action or behavior works is somewhat short-sighted. It’s far better to ask whether a specific action or behavior works in a specific context.
Calling out a woman for being boring will work in some contexts and fail in others. In the context described above, calling out a woman for being boring has a high probability of failure.
OT
Te’oing. The latest dumb internet trend.
http://www.dailydot.com/society/teoing-fake-girlfriend-photos-tumblr-meme/
Enough alcohol + KY jelly… um, do I have to spell it out or is someone crude bastard going to suggest it? (Alcohol + enough tongue stimulation = a desire to do crazy things… but let get the kinky idea first or at least let her think it’s her idea, I always say.)
foam at the mouth and bite her like your cujo that should spice it up pretty quick
get out in some remote area walk away from the car and be like oh shit i hear something what is that over there
tell her to take her g-string off and put it around your neck then proceed to walk around walmart for an hour or so like its just another day (my chick did this to me i forgot about it freaking did walk around with it nobody said anything funny as hell when she pointed it out later)
report yourself for having drugs in the car and be pulled over and the canine unit come give her a bag of flour to shove up the cuche
go to a resteraunt have her sit beside you and share food
that should be just enough to get her primed to tell you about the lesbian love afair she had at 18 or the gerbel she shoved up some dudes ass and it died
There’s only two kinds of women: Boring and crazy.
Three kinds: boring, crazy and stupid.
Wrong; crazy is never boring.
Neither is rape!
lol.
Unless it’s SWPL rape.
You shop in the wrong places.
Well you r first problem is: you’re on a first date with them. A formal first date.
Roosh’s plan is simple and accurate—you should always go for the first night lay. That means going in for a kiss the first time you connect. And the second time you see them—if you haven’t closed the deal first—should be at low cost cafes and bars. Again, go for the lay.
There should be no formal “dinners” and such with a girl in this day and age. Women are whores these days; do not spend a dime on them until they are completely yours. Remember: only house pets get fed.
Life is too short to waste it with boring women. Screw her once or twice if you want, and then walk away. I walked away from a 10 to marry an 8, have never ONCE regretted it.
My “love test” goes something like this: “What is your general monetary theory?”
If she responds that gold is the champion of money, especially in a huffy tone as if there could be any question, that in real life rock has been beating paper for 3000 years, then she is a keeper.
If, however, she should respond with something along the lines of:
“Monetary theory? I don’t know what you said
Ize desouled like fiat dollarz, printed by da Fed”
You can rest assured she is bernunkified. Case closed.
Or, she could be reading GBFM, in which case, also a keeper.
I told a gal the other night to stop thinking, because it was dangerous, to which she replied “But then how would I know what to cook?” Cool gal with an exceptional chick sense of humor.
Anonymous 6:30 pm is on his way there, but we really need GBFM to spread his wisdom.
There is a connection between Helicopter Ben and boring women, GBFM just needs to reveal it.
There is nothing wrong with a boring woman.
The problem is the boring woman who wants to be in charge, or can’t follow orders…
Girls don’t need to be interesting. Most guys will validate them based on looks alone.
You want to mess up a cute girls head, ask her WHY when she states an opinion. Most dudes just go along with her to try to build repoir. Be different and ask her to justify her opinion.
You’ll stand out and bring major tingles.
Washington Beta Post upset about White House Petition to end White genocide (by forced diversity).
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2013/01/18/petition-stop-white-genocide/
WaPo is spreading the meme “Africa for Africans, etc”
Look for “white rabbit radio” videos on youtube for”elaboration
A very quiet woman (the sex most likely to blabber) is, in my experience, usually stupid.
Is a girl’s personality really that important? If a girl is boring me, just try doing something exciting with her. See if you can get her to screw in the bathroom at whatever venue you’re at, or at least get her to go down on you. I’ve done that a couple times. See how boring she is then.
Also, I want to thank this website. Before coming to this website last year, I was a cad who banged a lot of girls and quality varied, to say the least. I was proud of maybe half. Since coming here, the quality has not only shot way up, so has the number of gifts women buy me. I even got to live with a hot girl 8 years younger than me that for 2 months while I was unemployed and had no apartment, and I was still banging her and three other girls at once. I love this site!
Roosh had a good post on this with 3 ideas for responses.
And similar to what others are saying here, he throws out the idea that you could very well be smarter, more experienced, and more interesting than most people, and 95% of women out there.
Women are damned if we do and damned if we don;t.
We are either blabber mouths that talk too much or too quiet and boring.
is there a happy medium? LOL I already know my answer to that question, I’m just curious if men really believe there is actually a happy medium.
And men say we women don’t know what we want? HA!
(me: a married man)
Talk intelligently and humbly, while smiling and laughing occasionally.
Ask my opinion and consider them seriously, ask when you don’t get me. Bring up old things i have said, that shows you payed attention.
Now and then, ask me if i have read interesting article as of late.
I don’t mind if you go into female-fantasy mode, as long as you are okay with me only listing.
And sex. Talk about sex.
That works for me.
What works for me (since guys are definitely not pursuing me for my looks) is letting the man lead the conversation, letting him know when you don’t know things, and being willing to learn something new. If you’re in the position of telling him about something you’re interested in, try not to be overly preachy about it. Also, be honest in explaining that you may have certain opinions because you’re biased.
Basically, be the girl. That’s the answer to just about any question of what’s the right thing to do with men. Guys who aren’t prepared to be the man will go away soon.
I agree from expeience calling them boring won’t work–if it did work they have pride and wouldn’t be boring in the first place–so don’t delude yourself– but there is an argument that you should create the pretention that you don’t date boring girls and maybe actually stick to it. Attitude is, I’m high value and interesting. I cant spend 5-7 hours of my valuable time with a boring girl just to have sex with her, what fck do I care if she’s hot, I’ve bang tons of hot girls. (I tell girls who are interesting this and it makes me look cool While also appealing to the pride of the Girl.) When I suspect a girl I’m hanging out with is boring, I’ll throw some interesting out on the table, ask them to tell me something interesting, and then if they don’t, they are fired.
If you’re so smart/interesting that you find almost all girls stupid or boring, then I suggest you only date girls who speak other langugages, and learn their languages. This way you can still be using your time well and making yourself more powerful. You will also feel less bored. I also use this to be interested talking to much younger girls.
boring girl (especially PRETTY) boring girls can get nuked by a simple question- WHY? most guys fail be trying to relate to everything a beautiful woman says to try and relate to her. NO ONE asks her why.
and many beautiful women are boring because they DON’T.NEED. to be interesting. i’m ok looking, so i HAVE to interesting in order to build attraction.
but honestly, if she’s boring, it’s RARELY because she not attracted to me. i’ve managed to get her out with me, there has to be SOME attraction. and i have 4 black belts in reading IOI’s. if she’s boring i’ll lose interest.
i’ll be type polite. but i’ll end the date quickly and won’t call again.