A wealth of experience with women will clue a man into the dissonance between a woman’s words and actions, and gradually lead him to discover that the woman’s word is the exact inverse of what she wishes you to presuppose it is: not a verbal descriptive but rather a psychological misdirection to lull the unsuspecting, including herself, to cogitate on the opposite of what is, in fact, true. Resist the temptation to blame a woman for her subterfuge because, in another example of empirics catching up to folk wisdom, science is revealing that not even she is aware what currents ripple through her vagina.
On that prologue, here follows a handy dandy secret girl code decoder crib sheet. Though you have been weaned since toddlerhood, when your flaccid tot dong jutted out at a continual 90 degree angle to your raisins, to believe the last in each series is to be aspired to, the truth is that, if sexnlurv with the sexynlurvly hot babes is what you want, then you are far better off being deemed the opposite by the fairer sex.
douchey >>> nice guy
asshole >>> sweet
jerk >>> cute
bastard >>> good man
pig >>> gentleman
insane >>> dependable
jerk > sexy > hot > cute > sweet > creep > nice guy
creeper > creep > stalker > loser > nice guy
serial killer >>>>>>>>>>> nice guy
mass murderer >>>>>>>>>>>>>> nice guy
psychopathic hedge fund white collar criminal >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (*phew*) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> nice guy
nice guy > pedophile (finally!)
he makes me cry >>>>>>>>> he’s always there for me
it’s so hard with him >>>>>>>>>>>> yeah, he’s a great guy
freak >>> attentive lover
cheating bastard >>> he treats me like a princess
you don’t see what i see in him >>> he’s the perfect man
wiseass >>> funny >>> clown >>> goofy >>> quirky >>> weird
mysterious >>> a good friend
exciting >>> easy to get along with
i don’t know how much more i can take with him >>> someday we’ll get married
he always forgets our anniversaries >>> he understands my needs
pervert >>> sensitive lover
he screwed my best friend >>> i screwed his best friend
he gets me >>> i get him
fucking asshole arrogant son of a bitch motherfucking cocksucking pike of steaming shit filthy fucking bastard mama’s boy >>> nice guy
selfish lover >>> eats me out
who are you texting? >>> i promise i’m not texting any other guys
god that was such a turn-on >>> i love you
cocky bastard >>> sweet guy
i never know what he’s up to >>> we go everywhere together
lover >>> husband
is that a girl’s voice i hear in the background? >>> thanks for letting me know what time you’ll be home
you’re going to shit in front of me?! >>> i’ll be out in a minute, honey
[crypto-donation-box]
