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Running Solo

This post is also available in: German

A reader asks:

First of all, great blog.  A lot of the information conveyed here has been useful to me in consciously making a positive impact on my “gaming” skills….it’s almost eerie to think back and realize the times where I unknowingly ran game and was getting the strongest attraction without knowing why.

Anyhow, I’m more of an introverted guy….21, recently started going to bars on the regular.  However, most of the time I run solo.  I’ve lurked here for awhile now and gotten a good feel for game, but there’s still some psychological itch about not running with a group as often as I used to that makes things feel somewhat awkward.  I’ve searched the blog, but found nothing specific pertaining to “solo” game.  Are there any specifics that you would suggest keeping in mind when going it alone?

One specific problem I’ve run into is my age….a lot of the 23 + older girls seem to have their interest doused by hearing that I’m a mere 21 years old, even if everything else has been going smoothly.

I used to run solo at least twice a week. My best pickups (that is, the hottest chicks I banged and the quickest I moved the seductions to the bedroom) happened when I approached a girl or group of girls by myself. Unless you’re still in college, you shouldn’t be rolling with more than two buddies, anyhow. The more men in your group, the douchier you look, and the less courageous you’ll seem to girls who have to deal with wolf packs of sausage eyeballing them every time they go out.

The awkwardness you feel is strictly a fear based on how you will be perceived by girls. The act of running solo itself is not the cause of your bad feelings. It’s the fear that girls will think you are a loner without friends.

In my experience, this fear is totally overblown. Most girls don’t immediately lurch to thoughts about your lack of friends when you approach them solo. They are sizing you up and that is a function entirely of your game. When going out alone, just enter a frame of mind that you are the mysterious, dark stranger with a wealth of worldly experiences to share with someone worthy of your company. If girls ask about your friends, tell them you left them behind at a crappy party that was too pretentious for your tastes. Or just say you went out without them because they hold you back.

As for your age, my advice is to lie if you want to take the path of least resistance. It’s true that a lot of girls have a mental checklist that forbids them from dating younger men. Women are, by and large, viscerally attracted to older men. The cougar phenomenon is swamped by the older man-younger woman dynamic. If you don’t want the hassle of dealing with this constraint on women’s desires, then just fib about your age.

On the other hand, it’s a relatively simple subterfuge to neutralize an older woman’s objection to sleeping with you.

HER: You look young. How old are you?

YOU: You first.

HER: 23.

YOU: Oh, too bad.

HER: What?

YOU: You’re too young for me. I normally date women in their 30s. I find them much more interesting to be around.

HER: [massive self-qualifiying]

If you have good game, age won’t be much of a barrier to sex. Or love.


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