This post is also available in: Deutsch
Did you act like the alpha all women crave? Let’s find out.
To start, let me state until a week ago, I was a huge beta male that didn’t realize it. After reading a lot of this site, and some others, I’m trying to shape up my game, so here’s my first try:
It started with her rescheduling a date we had.
Her: Hey sorry, the expedition with my roommates took longer than I expected, can we do another night this week?
(right before we were supposed to meet)
Me: Sure. I’m free Wednesday at 7.
Her: Sounds Good 🙂
(20 minutes later)
Me: I’ll pick you up at your house.
Her: My roommate isn’t the biggest fan of mysterious guys coming over, so I can meet you there.
(an hour later)
Me: Fine, but you’re buying the first round of drinks. Meet me at X at 7.
Her: Alright, I’ll be there. 😉
I know this isn’t anything special, but I’m fairly proud of myself for my first taste of alpha-dom.
This is a very good exchange. After the initial postponement, he correctly waits until just before the date to let her know that a reschedule is possible, and he is firm about which day and time he can meet. (You want to make a girl sweat a bit when she asks for a rain check, so waiting until the last second to allay her fears is the right thing to do. She’ll wonder if you a) got her message, and b) if you even care.)
When she texts “sounds good” with a smiley, he does not respond with another smiley. You want to avoid the typical beta traps that snare feeble men. He only replies twenty minutes later when necessary.
The girl is starting to feel that her prerogative as an innately higher status female is under threat by Alex’s deft handling of the convo to this point. She responds with the status-boost-by-proxy of claiming that he can’t come to her place to pick her up lest he spook her roommate. This excuse may or may not be true (likely not), but it serves well as a dual purpose shit test and status reinforcer.
Alex waits the requisite one hour before replying to her assinine excuse, and challenges her to rectify the situation by buying the first round. Well done. Chicks lurv a challenge, dontcha know!
When chicks text reply immediately, it means they are sexually aroused.
Summary judgement: The alpha is strong in this one.
Update from Alex:
So she met me at 7, I made her buy all the drinks, and got in her pants. Win-win. Alpha > all.
For the following analysis, I’ll insert bolded editorial comments where needed.
She Bangs writes:
Alright, to start off I’ve ran into this girl since high school, and always seem to get the girls I targeted to lay down in my bed once I set my sights on them, but this one was particularly difficult. She’s got what every guy might want looks, humor, money, and a phenomenal ass that probably deserves its own booth at the car show. I hooked up with her once after some beers and a movie (she paid) and then we went back to my house where she wrestled with my appendage for about an hour, claiming she couldn’t have sex because she thought of her ex too much. [Ed: Anti-slut defense. This could have been defused.] Didn’t talk to her much because she’s slightly dumb but very booksmart.
Fast forward about 2 years later, I feel a little inclined to see if my avenue is completely cut off, or if I should give it a go another time… Anyway the txts end up going like this…:
Me: You should come out with me on a weeknight.
(2 minutes later)
Me: Wrong the answer is “Sure”
[Ed: She wants you to lead at this point. The cockiness is overkill. Just tell her the place you’ll take her.]
[Ed: She doesn’t sound playful here. Beware an escalating test of wills.]
(3 minutes later)
Me: Your apartment with wine, cheese, and a B rated movie.
[Ed: You’re walking into her frame, chasing her, and that’s a bad place to be. She gave a flippant reply with that “K” and your hand was forced to follow up with a location and plan well after she originally asked for that info. Also, it’s probably not a good idea to meet a girl at her place. Home turf advantage and all that.]
(2 minutes later)
Her: Thats not going out, whats a b rated?
[Ed: Shit test. She has hand, and she’s gonna use it.]
(2 minutes later)
(1 minute later)
(2 minutes later)
Me: Gizuntite. Do you do anal?
[Ed: lol. Ok, there’s cocky and funny, and there’s just weird. Guess which one your answer was. It was too late to do any sort of apocalypse opener-type text game with her.]
I’m still waiting for her response, but Im going to call this one a done deal. You think she was offended, intrigued, or just flat out dumbfounded?
Summary judgement: dumbfounded, and not very intrigued in a sexual way. A lot of the success of this exchange depends upon your vibe with her when you first met. I’ll predict this didn’t turn out well, but I’m curious to know, so if the reader She Bangs is reading this, tell us what happened.
Every girl I hook up with doesn’t want to get eaten out… ever…
is this alpha or not?
Are they so horny and ready that they want to skip it to go straight for the goods?
That leads to is eating a girl out beta?
To your first and second questions: hard to say. Could be small sample size, or it could be that you give off a vibe of not being interested in anything but jackhammering. Or maybe you date skanks with stank snatches. It is also possible, as you mentioned, that very horny girls just want to segue straight to the rogering.
To your third question: Eating a girl out anytime during the first few weeks of dating is beta. When you eat a girl out, you telegraph your incredible horniness for her. Men normally do not want to go down on women and bury their mouths in that fetid, humid mess unless they find her so overwhelmingly hot that they can’t help themselves. Women instinctively know this, so they correctly gauge that a man who goes down on them on the first date must feel he’s with one of the best he’s ever had. This, in turn, will sour a woman’s attraction for a man, since no woman in the history of the universe has ever felt raging lust for a man she believed lower than herself in value.
Cunnilingus later in the relationship is absolved from this rule, because you have already demonstrated your manly ability to use her strictly for the piledriving hole she is.
Field Report highlighting the beta to alpha switch and the merits of Mystery Method.
Target: girl who lives in another country, have known for 8 years, always kept in touch with, never banged. She was always talking about getting together but since she lived so far away, we’d only see each other as “Friends” when I went there for business. She’s 34, slim, dresses hot, short skirt, heels, looks good for her age, in the US might be an 8.
She says she’s coming to Hong Kong to visit from China with her hot friend who she seems to want to set me up with. We mostly communicate by Chat/MSN.
We agree to meet for dinner and then go to a dance party-the three of us. But the super hot friend is divorcing her husband who stuck her with her 3 year old daughter for the weekend, so it’s me, my HB7 friend and her HB8 younger single mom with precocious 3 year old in tow.
After studying and practicing game, I decide to see how far this will go. Single mom is clearly out, the kid is a major cock block. But my “friend” looks hot.
From the minute they sat down, I initiate light kino with my friend. Then start escalating it, first a tap on the forearm to make a point, then keeping it there longer.
We go to buy a bottle of wine before the party and before dropping single mom off at hotel with 3 year old rug rat. I carry the rug rat to the wine shop. (Protector of women and children).
At the dance party, I largely ignore my friend instead dancing with other girls. (Pre-selection)
I come back, dance with her, kino, negs, push-pull teasing, back to dancing with other girls. She is giving me major IOI’s. Suddenly she wants to leave. I can stay she says I pause. She looks and smiles—IOI, she wants to come over, so I suggest we come over and have tea.
As we’re walking outside, I remember this blog’s advice to a prior email of mine about waiting is for beta’s and poets. So I lean in and plant a hot wet kiss on her.
She responds like she couldn’t wait. Biting my lip, deep tongue. She’s game.
Back to my place. Banged her twice. She was so into it. She leaves to go back to her hotel room that she’s sharing with her hot friend and friend’s daughter.
Next day she sends text: “forgive me if I was out of control”. Then after we chat, she says it was a “shock” and that she thought we were just “friends” but never thought it would happen “like in a movie”.
Wants me to come travel with her, visit her etc.
This 5 hours of alpha beats 5 years of beta is so true.
Elsewhere here, someone wrote that the essence of game was to look like you don’t care while consciously trying to move it forward. That was how it was that night for me.
Summary judgment: delightfully alpha. I have nothing to add, except, welcome to your escape from the matrix.
A couple weeks ago I finally sat next to a hot chick on the plane. I just nodded at her, sat down, and opened a book. Occasionally, chuckling under my breath. After I closed my book for a moment she struck up the conversation “what’s that you’re reading”? She is a little older but still a solid 8. Plus she was flying to LA for some kind of fashion thing and she had all these fabrics. This kind of upped my desire to bang her.
I’d exchanged a few txts with her after getting her number when the flight was over. She was flying back that same night and I was getting picked up by another chick anyway.
Here’s the text exchange when I asked her to get together.
Me: I’m back in town mon lets catch up for a drink
Her: Are you asking me on a date or for a buddies drink? Lol
Me: I’ve got too many buddies as is, so the former
Her: Nice. I would love to grab dinner. I save just drinks for buddies 😉
Me: Well before you have dinner w me ur invited to have a drink
Her: Sounds Great!
Then we made plans to meet at this lounge and I eventually got the bang later that night (last night). Anyway, I followed advice from this blog on reframing and avoiding being suckered in to buying dinner only to get a lousy kiss. Just wanted to say thanks.
I like the way this reader handled the woman’s slyly manipulative move to extract dinner resources from him with his reframe away from dinner and back to drinks. You really do not ever want to take a girl you haven’t yet banged to dinner. The food will absorb all the alcohol she drinks, and the seating arrangement at dinner tables is not conducive to kino escalation. And don’t forget that the time to sex is directly proportional to the amount of money spent on her (more money, more high n’ dry time), so keep your cost-per-lay low.
Props also to the aloof and indifferent lack of attention to punctuation. Chicks eat that shit up.
Summary judgment: smooth moves, ferguson.