Feed on

Valentine’s Day Tips

This post is also available in: German

A reader sent in this most excellent compendium of game tips.

1. Ditch the cologne, a tiny bit of ladies’ perfume on the neck is the way to go. (Make sure you hug her close!) You could also put lipstick on your collar, but less is more- it has to be barely perceptible to work.

2. If you’ll be with her in a not-too-noisy venue and it’s late at night (after 11pm or so) have your phone’s alarm feature  set up to ring several times at random. The hamster will wonder who the fuck is trying to get a hold you at this hour. Change the subject when she asks who’s calling.
Extra points for mixing up the ringtones.

(I did this once not expecting to get it in the same night and my phone kept vibrating on the nightstand while she was riding me cowgirl- I swear I could feel her getting wetter and wetter with every “call” that came in.

3. When your body language, eye contact, etc. is solid, you can get away with ANYTHING. I’ve closed a girl having inviting her to a Warcraft LAN party and telling her how hot she’d look in a chainmail bikini. This is contrast game (Omega game?) and only works if she knows you’re joking and everythig else is congruently Alpha. I believe it’s the peacocking principle at work, though I need to experiment with it some more…

4. Remind her how Beta the other guys in the room are. I love telling a girl in a venue how thirsty I am and asking if she’ll fish me a gin and tonic off the two nerds at the end of the bar. There are all sorts of subtle ways to DLV your competition, get creative!

5. Never miss an opportunity to grab her hair and give it a good tug- she’ll let you do it waaay sooner in the interaction than societal norms would suggest, (about 15 seconds in if you’re dirty dancing.)

6. Act aroused by her shit tests. The whole “You’re so hot when you’re being bitchy” mentality makes her resistance self-defeating. Even better if you’re funny about it.

7. When shit-tested via text message, reply with an ascii penis. [Ed: It looks like this: 8==>. Or this, if you’re a host of the Chateau: 8=======================>] Hasn’t failed me yet and its cheaper than sending picture messages of the real thing.

8. Anything that attracts attention to your crotch is a good thing, eye-catching and unusual belt buckles are good. When you catch her glancing down you can remind her that it’s not going to suck itself.

9. And finally – My all time super duper favorite-ist opener in the whoooole wide world:

“Did you just grab my ass?”

And no, she doesn’t have to be standing behind you for it to work, you can walk clear across the room and spit this. (My inspiration for that one came from the club owner in Night at the Roxbury)

Caveat Emptor: these are all situational and can backfire if applied incorrectly. Know your prey and calibrate! #1 and #2 are best reserved for the divas who are on the fence about you

A final thought- once you have a basic competency in game, the only way to keep growing is to start tailoring your style to match your personality and strengths and have fun with it. A cheeky/playful Austin Powers vibe does wonders for me, not exactly your boilerplate stoic Alpha was he?

Feel free to use all or part of this for your blog, as a former pedastalizer myself, I have tremendous empathy for my beta bros sloggin it out in the trenches.

Your truly,


The force is strong in this one. #1 and #7 are especially good.


Comments are closed.