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The Fundamentals

This post is also available in: German

There is so much pickup information available now that it’s easy to lose sight of the fundamentals that govern sexual tension and attraction between men and women. When the information cascade overwhelms it begins to pull you away from what works, and what has always worked for you. Consequently, over-analysis can hinder your spiritual growth as a womanizer. That is why it is vital to step back every so often, ignore the steady stream of advice, and return to a few golden, immutable laws of attraction that will never go out of style.

The one fundamental to which I always return, and has never failed to reward me as expected, is this:

Women cannot resist the aloof and indifferent man.

Of all the compulsions hard-wired in a female’s hindbrain, this one is etched deeper and more enduringly. Every woman, to a greater or lesser degree, feels the burn of lust and the agony of love for a man who projects a “take it or leave it” attitude.

Note that aloof and indifferent doesn’t mean haughty, distant or uninterested. It means disinterested. It means that while you may love her and flatter her and soothe her and give her gifts, underlying it all is an attitude that tells her “I can walk if necessary, and find someone new.”

It may seem counterproductive for a woman to respond so favorably to a man exhibiting this attitude, but the evolution of human sociosexuality offers an explanation: an aloof man is indirectly advertising his skill at seducing women. Such a man will give a woman sons who will inherit his ladykiller genes. Conversely, a man who gloms onto a woman may as well be holding a placard that says “My celibacy is nigh!”. He has no confidence that should his girlfriend or wife misbehave, or leave him, he will be able to find another woman’s bossom for comfort.

And really, that’s what all this talk by women about valuing “confidence” in men means; what women are really saying is that they value men who could dump them on a whim and get with new women easily. Men who can do this are filled with the kind of confidence that turns women on.

The aloof and indifferent attitude can be expressed reactively or proactively, deliberately or passively. She senses it when other women flirt with you and you refuse to act ashamed for it. You don’t rub your desirability to competitor women in her face, but neither do you downplay it.

She senses it when she is the first to say “I love you”, after many months of eager — but ultimately unfulfilled — anticipation on her part for you to say it first.

She senses it when you occasionally pepper your relationship with unexplained absences.

She senses it when you hang out with guy friends who are known players.

She senses it when you drag your feet about going on expensive trips together.

She senses it when you are the first to hop out of bed after climax.

She senses it when your exes are always bumping into you.

She senses it when you announce that you don’t understand guys like her male friend who can only play video games when his girlfriend is not around to castigate him, and when you then proudly and defiantly proclaim you value your “freedom and independence” too much to be like that guy.

She senses it when a half-assed microwaved meal that you cooked for the both of you means more to her than a four course dinner slaved over for hours in the kitchen by a beta would mean to her.

She senses it when you set the bar so low, it becomes a challenge to disappoint her.

The fundamentals. Be aloof. Be indifferent. Be loving.

Do these three things and you will never be lacking for a woman’s eternally grateful love.


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