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The Chateau isn’t a dance hall but occasionally we do like to bust out the moves.

Now word is in from the corridors of scientific inquiry that dancing the right way is a demonstration of high value which women find irresistible. But the white-jacketed fellows went one step further than that — they figured out the exact type of dance moves that turned women on the most.

Male movements serve as courtship signals in many animal species, and may honestly reflect the genotypic and/or phenotypic quality of the individual. Attractive human dance moves, particularly those of males, have been reported to show associations with measures of physical strength, prenatal androgenization and symmetry. Here we use advanced three-dimensional motion-capture technology to identify possible biomechanical differences between women’s perceptions of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ male dancers. Nineteen males were recorded using the ‘Vicon’ motion-capture system while dancing to a basic rhythm; controlled stimuli in the form of avatars were then created in the form of 15 s video clips, and rated by 39 females for dance quality. Initial analyses showed that 11 movement variables were significantly positively correlated with perceived dance quality. Linear regression subsequently revealed that three movement measures were key predictors of dance quality; these were variability and amplitude of movements of the neck and trunk, and speed of movements of the right knee. In summary, we have identified specific movements within men’s dance that influence women’s perceptions of dancing ability. We suggest that such movements may form honest signals of male quality in terms of health, vigour or strength, though this remains to be confirmed.

The Chateau is, to be candid, quite intrigued by this finding. It was always well known that men who were good at dancing signaled health and macho vitality, but here we have new evidence of very specific kinesthetic dance moves that directly contribute to female arousal. If men could identify and mimic those three moves that remotely activate tingles in every woman in a room, then a whole new path of seduction opens up.

But verbal descriptions are one thing, seeing it in motion is another. We are left with some confusion as to what exactly is meant by:

Variability of movements of the neck and trunk.

Amplitude of movements of the neck and trunk.

Speed of movements of the right knee.

Video of examples of these moves in action would be ideal; otherwise, reader contributions with suggestions for what these moves might look like when executed would also be helpful. As it stands, the descriptions are somewhat vague, and thus of limited use for bumpngrind game. The best the Chateau hosts can come up with is that “right knee movement speed” would look like one of those patented Michael Jackson (RIP) one-leg bent knee angular swivels that he was fond of doing.

Let us move the science of seduction into uncharted territory, beyond even what Mystery has accomplished, and lay out a dance move blueprint — a step by step schematic — for aspiring womanizers to learn and apply in the field. In the quest for quality pussy, no stone shall remain unturned. We are, as always, fitness maximizers here.

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