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A great way to build a love connection with a girl is through the subtle mockery of the absurdity of others. Chicks dig social dynamics and speculating ad nauseam about the backstory of couples or groups of people that they see walking around, particularly people who stand out from the crowd. Thus, it is a valuable component of your game to speculate along with her, demonstrating your mastery of quickly ascertaining social group relationships through incisive observation. It is, in short, another example of seducing women by co-opting their mode of thinking.

To that end, you should not shy from analyzing couples that you see while on a date with a girl. It’s great fun to spot an unusual couple, or an offbeat group of mixed men and women, and mischievously nudge your date to redirect her attention to the spectacle as you openly ponder “what’s going on there?”. Bonding in this fashion should not be underestimated.

So imagine you are walking through a park or an outdoor festival and you and your date come across this sight (leaving aside for the moment any third party observational bias caused by the presence of a photographer):

(Pic courtesy of Peter)

How would you analyze this snapshot in time such that you demonstrate your superior knowledge of human relationships?

Three possible scenarios jump out.

Scenario One: it’s a prank! The girl in the ratty blue and white striped shirt, at the instigation of her cackling chubby American friends, sidled up to the ugly fat man to pretend she was his girlfriend, or at least to pretend to flirt with him, to the great amusement of everyone but the mark. You can surmise by her left hand deep in her jorts pocket and her knowing glance of collusion toward the laughing girls that she is not his date. Also, her right leg is bent at the knee, suggesting she is ready to dash back to the safety of the pig pen should the prank be discovered. Meanwhile, fat boy’s smile is likely the goofy grin of a guy who is happy to mug for the camera with a cute girl by his side, who doesn’t realize he’s being tooled. His raised red cup of piss water is an auto-toast to his doltishness and omega ranking on the mate value scale.

Scenario Two: it’s a player! What you see is an actual couple on a date. They may even be in love. He hoists his plastic tankard in celebration of his good fortune. His grin is the shit-eating variety of the man of confidence boffing a much hotter babe than people expect of him. His slovenly appearance is not the dress code of the fat quasimodo nerd, but the devil-may-care fashion statement of the bad boy who does not need the crutch of stylish clothes to pick up hot chicks. What about her? Well, she’s leaning into him slightly, which implies she is happy to be with him. Her clothes and hair drape with the disheveled insouciance of a girl who has recently received a powerful rogering from a very fat man with tits bigger than hers. She has turned to sheepishly acknowledge the three single piglets chortling at the ludicrousness of her boyfriend. Her smile is the leftover glow of a shared laugh she had seconds earlier with her humorous, portly Casanova, but which has morphed into a teeth-clenched grin of discomfort reflecting her unease with the laughter directed at her and her lover by the tri-lambchop sorority sisters.

Scenario Three: it’s pedestrian! All five of them are friends and are laughing about something happening in the distance behind the photographer. Or they’re just posing and laughing because they’re drunk. Sixteen Miller Lights can make a fart seem like endless high comedy.

Your turn. How would you describe this scene for your date? Reaction time counts toward your final score.

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