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Do you think you have what it takes to bend the world to your whim? Are you…
Reader RF raps the wrought iron lion knocker on the heavy oak door seeking admittance to the Chateau:
Night of the meeting, running game Riossy likely would approve of (though there’s always room for improvement), I hand her my phone and she puts her number in. I end with a kiss close.
Her: Hey bahbay!
Her: Yesy 1 2 3 [jesus, how drunk was she?]
Me: Got it. Let’s make plans soon.
The next day, i already had plans to go out with friends. I thought I’d try to stack the deck in my favor and texted her.
Me: going out tonight?
Her: I’m spending the night hanging out with my boyfriend.
Her: Yea sorry if I led you on, I am in a relationship and very happy so I don’t think we can be friends.
I didn’t respond after that – should I have negged harder after the last statement? I think the “lol” was sufficient – her behavior confirmed everything written on this blog – and anything beyond that seemed forced and petty. She was just a six, too, and not worth additional effort imo.
Ah yes, the drunk chick hookup. Expect a flake. With inebriated girls you are best attempting a same night lay, as the liquor loosens her inhibitory reflex. That is the upside of drunkenness. The downside happens when the inhibitions come storming back the next morning, and her anti-slut barrier stands taller and mightier than usual.
Leaving that aside, your game was fine up until the next day. I’m not a big fan of texting questions that require answers from girls. If you want to meet up with a girl, call her, and *tell her* what your schedule is like, and when you can see her. Asking if she’s free, or available, or if she’d like to join you is playing into the frame of female scarcity. Instead, you should be saying “Hey, we had a great time last night, let’s meet for cocktails and hookah smoking. I’m free Thursday.”
If you believe, like I do sometimes, that talking on the phone is becoming a lost art irrevocably replaced by texting and facebook emailing, then you may want to pursue the “trial text” strategy, of which I am an advocate.
Now, when she said she was hanging out with her boyfriend, you regrettably and utterly betatized yourself with that ego-pinpricked “lol” response. The LOL, when delivered in reply to an affront, signals to a girl that she got under your skin. LOL is the spontaneous bleat of the lamb after the wolf has sunk its teeth into the lamb’s shank. El Oh Eeeeeellll! El Oh Eeeeeeelllll! To a woman’s ears it sounds like this: “Ha, ha, you have shat upon my soul!”
Whether she actually has a boyfriend is irrelevant to how you should have responded after she told you she had a boyfriend. LOL was the worst response. Let’s examine the other three major types of responses you had at your disposal.
- Ignore her. Instead of LOL’ing, you don’t reply. Some people will say this is the alpha way to handle a cunt, but it’s also the easy way. Does an alpha always have to take the easy way? Where’s the fun in that?
- Give her the gift of pain. “He’s a lucky man. I wonder if he knows what a prize he has?” Sure, this won’t get you laid, but it will put a smile on your face.
- Tease her. “Perfect. I’m busy Thursday night with your boyfriend’s girlfriend. You’re buying first ten rounds.” This final option gives you an outside chance at hooking up should the winds of fickle tingle blow in your direction.
Unfortunately, once she sent that last ridiculously cloying and pointless explanation, you were left with few options other than ignoring it. Which isn’t so bad. Use the bad taste left in your mouth to fortify your strength of purpose for future pickup attempts.
Reader Effect whispers the password to the Chateau consigliere:
I was just wondering on the Alphaness of this move, in a standing situation.
You’ve been chatting with this girl. Mystery Style, you put out your hand. When she takes hold you lead her in closer. Put the opposite around her once she close enough and draw her in even closer so that your bodies are touching and release her hand while doing this. Use the hand she was holding to brush aside her hair bangs moving it behind her ear then following the jaw to lead her into the kiss. (assuming she has long, not tied up hair) End the kiss first, no leaning in, feet stayed planted during the whole thing. Take a small step away.
Kino escalation is often overlooked by men as a vital component to pickup, but physically pulling a girl closer into your body can backfire if there isn’t a solid base of attraction already established. A lukewarm girl is likely to read a handhold and a pull-in as an attempt by the man to cop a cheap feel. Better bet: Hold out your hand, wait for her to take it, and then let her hand rest in yours. See how long she keeps her hand in yours before she pulls away. That will give you a good indication of her feelings for you.
Reader valmont dons the black robes of a Chateau guest:
A very important question. I do online dating as a side dish with good results… however, I am often asked on dates
“what are you looking for?”
There was a girl who told me that she was tired of guys who promised her “the moon” and then did not commit to her. I told her that at the present moment I m not looking to get into something serious. I felt that her energy changed however we later made out and I walked her to the metro station. after a couple of days she sends me an email that “she appreciates my honesty but that we do not have the same expectations.”
I mean, she said that she did not want a guy who pretended to want something serious, however let’s be frank, should a guy tell a women on the first or second date that he is looking for something serious too (presuming he does)?
so again, how should a guy respond to questions such as “what are you looking for?” when they come up early in the dating phase?
“What are you looking for?”
Girls are asking you this before you’ve sexed them? Strange. Either you date aging, neurotic headcases or your vibe is telegraphing B E T A P R O V I D E R. There is only one way to answer an early game, pre-sex “what are you looking for?” stinky-ass beta bait:
“A delicious ham sandwich.”
Do try and say it with a straight face for maximum amusement.
Answering any other way will only make the bang more difficult to achieve. Why construct unnecessary obstacles to yourself? If she presses the matter, then you will have to get serious with her. But there is a right way and a wrong way to patronize a woman’s shit testing.
Wrong way: Play into her frame.
- “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
Why give her an excuse to stop seeing you?
- “I haven’t thought about it. Why do you ask?”
Why give her an excuse to continue harping on the subject?
- “I’m looking for something serious.”
Lying is unnecessary in this situation, as I will demonstrate below. Also, saying this risks turning her off if you miscalculate and she’s *not* looking for something serious.
Right way: Control the conversation.
- “I’m dating around until I find that one woman I really click with. I think anything serious should develop naturally, and not be forced. Don’t you?”
If she’s got trouble with that answer, you are officially dating an ovulating cougar who works 80 hour weeks at the law firm and has more cats than pints of Haagen Dazs.
The Chateau doors have now creaked shut. Escort yourselves to the property gate.