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Your ability to quickly identify and avoid social miscues, and to capitalize on power vacuums within shifting social arrangements, is more valuable to your success with women than your net worth or job status.
Thought experiment: You’ve been dating a girl for a couple of months, which means you should have been banging her for 7.5 weeks. She invites you to a house party being thrown by one of her friends. You mentally hesitate, knowing that the party will be filled with just her friends and you’ll be like an interloper adolescent male wolf trying to ingratiate himself to a new pack. But then you remember how good you are at working a room and decide there is little chance of an embarrassing faux pas.
At the party everything is smooth sailing. You’ve got her friends laughing and your girl is flitting about the room occasionally looking over her shoulder to establish your coordinates and magnitude of fraternizing with the competition (as an alpha male with keen insight of women, you know that it’s important to treat every attractive woman as your girlfriend’s potential usurper). Later, you are standing in a circle of ten or so people with your girlfriend and everyone is ricocheting conversational topics like a pong ball. One topic leads to another and your girl has started talking about how you wooed her on the second date.
“Oh yeah, he broke out the guitar and played ‘Spanish Ballad’. I thought it was so charming, but actually he just taught himself that one song. Ever since then I’ve asked him to play something else but he won’t. He sucks at playing guitar!”
The girls laugh, but a couple of the men in the group look over at you first before laughing nervously. Your girlfriend has just insulted you, though she may be sufficiently obtuse and/or conditioned by the feeble pantywaistage of past beta boyfriends as to not realize the gravity of her diss. Many girls are prone to this sort of behavior at social events, catapulting their own status and greasing their acceptance into the group on the backs of their hapless boyfriends. A woman knows she can engender female solidarity through the telling of humiliating tales about her lover.
What do you do?
I see six available options to the man in this scenario.
- Chuckle along. That will show you get the joke and can roll with the punches. You are TOO ALPHA to be moved by such an insult. You indifferent long time.
- Pierce her with the silent, icy stare of soul death. You communicate your displeasure with her without uttering any words. This course of action circumvents any possible verbal escalation and further awkwardness while still letting her know that she crossed a line.
- Directly call her out. “Yo, what’s with you shitting all over my hobbies? Check yourself.” Major awkwardness will ensue, but you’ll feel DAMNED GOOD and she’ll be a submissive kitten in bed for months.
- Indirectly call her out. “That’s funny. I was just thinking the same thing about that one and only meal you know how to cook.” If you’ve got the wit, this is an excellent option. You express your displeasure in a humorous, crowd-pleasing way that does not make too many people uncomfortable. Downside: Your thin-skinned girlfriend gets offended and a passive aggressive fight breaks out as spectators stare into their drinks.
- Nuke the vaj from orbit. “Fuck you.” Then walk out of the party. Yeah, you may have just spoiled any long term potential with your girl by permanently cutting off the reservoir of good will between her social group and you, but I guarantee she’ll come crawling on all fours back to you with her pussy so hot and bothered she sings an aria as you pound the bitch out of her.
- Change the subject. This is the go-to option for those men who want to avoid conflict and tension yet aren’t willing to play the genial butt of the joke.
Personally, I have opted for #4 when I’ve been in similar situations with a girl, but I trust my instincts to counterattack with the right amount of face-saving force. Not every man will react as smoothly. For the average guy who wishes to keep seeing the girl (and part of building an LTR is winning over each other’s social circles) I think #6 is best. #2 is also good, but you have to be careful to stare just long enough to make her face blush with shame, and not any longer. He might be best served saving his anger for later when he is alone with her.
#3 and #5 are great if the girl is nothing more than a fling to you, and you are happy being the Asshole to her Heloise. Really, it is a superbly satisfying power trip to walk out on a girl. I suggest all of you try it at least once in your life. I did it recently with a girl who said I was “pressuring her” for sex too soon (third date, my informal limit for delaying sexual gratification) and since that evening that I walked silently out of her life I’ve seen her three times in various spots around the city, and couldn’t help but notice her torment and yearning for my love in the way she nervously mumbled hello and tugged at her hair.
#1 is for two types of men:
a. Established Alphas who dominate their girlfriends so completely that an occasional affront to his Lordship by his number one subject can be brushed off with a hearty, yet sinister, laugh. Oftentimes, a Master Alpha communicates his true intentions in subtext that only his girlfriend, accustomed as she is to the Macchiavellian delights of his power, will comprehend. The crowd hears him laugh along; she hears him laughing because she knows thoughts of how he will punish her for her transgression are going through his head. This makes her quiver with fear and arousal.
b. Betas on a learning curve. It seems that every beta who has learned to avoid the worst fates with women — LJBF, cuckolding, dick sandwich, cockteasing, shit tests — reflexively retreats to Aloof and Indifferent game any time a girl tools him. “Go out and fuck ten other women” is simply not credible advice for most men without top notch game. “A and I” game is certainly superior to straight up beta chumpery, but it isn’t always the best course of action. However, a beta on the path to enlightenment may find it personally advantageous to minimize fallout rather than maximize opportunity. In the scenario I described, rolling with his girlfriend’s insult may prove to be the beta’s best option. An angry alpha will sound in command and someone to be respected, while an angry beta risks sounding bitter and spiteful. Unless you have a prior history of asshole game with your girl, you want to avoid the thunderbolt out of the blue FU option. A chuckle followed by an attempt to steer the conversation to an unrelated subject is how a man still grappling with his game and unsure of his authority over his girl should play it safe.