This post is also available in: German
Tuesday’s post inspired the commenters to heights of creativity and in-depth analysis matched in erudition only by the rapist-like wit of a femtard invasion (with betaboy lackeys in tow). I enjoyed reading through the suggestions. Bravura performance.
I chose answers that best represented the widely known competing tactics for dealing with girls who cancel dates under the pretext of obviously bullshit excuses. The girl in my story technically did not flake because she cancelled well ahead of the scheduled date time, but the method by which she cancelled was in the same spirit as a flake. How you handle a transparently silly cancellation is similar to how you handle an inconsiderate flake.
“No prob, holla when U get clear.”
This is the standard cool cat, emotionally neutral, “no skin off my nose” response. This response, and the “no response” response below, should be the default go-to options for guys who don’t know what they’re doing. It’s better to invest in fundamental, low risk, conservative game than to potentially fuck it up by diversifying into high flying techie game where you are thinking too much and sending some overwrought, try-hard text in reply. Is the cool cat response the best available option given the circumstances in my scenario? Probably not, but you can feel safe using it. Your dignity will remain unscathed. This is the tactic to use when you think she’s telling the truth and you want to seem reasonable and trusting. The downside, as one commenter noted, is that you give tacit compliance to her lame excuse. If you’re concerned about rubberstamping her lies, you’re better off not responding at all.
Grade (Cool Cat Game): B
Various readers wrote:
No response. Ignore her.
Textual silence will at least leave her wondering, however briefly, if you received her text and why you didn’t respond like every other guy she’s pulled this stunt on. Roosh has talked about the effects this has on a girl. If her flake was a reflexive shit test, you can prod her curiosity with the lack of a reply. Then you give yourself an outside chance that she calls you just before the originally scheduled date time to ask if you got her message. This is good because it means she will have complied with your frame. But if she seriously lost all interest after the first meet, then you just saved yourself ten seconds not answering her text.
Grade (No Response Game): A
Wait a few days then send her a message to the effect: ”Hey, you missed out on a really great after dinner orgy. You shoulda been there, the action was awesome. Maybe next time.” Delivered in a straight dead-pan manner. No smiley faces or “lols”.
Cannon’s Canon wrote:
“I’m being sentenced Monday morning so it’s literally now or never”
These fall under the category of humorous, cocky replies. I laughed, but will she? Maybe. Will that mean she calls you for a date reschedule? Not likely.
Grade: C, on a humor curve
“Hmmm…not good. You will have to make this up to me. You will give me a shoulder massage when you see me, so limber up those hands.”
This is an example of the “Still Gaming Her” response. If you don’t want to “NEXT” a girl (and if you’re a beta who hasn’t gotten laid in a while, “nexting” can seem like an awfully frustrating method for retaining your abundance mentality), then you should continue to run game with the intent of rebuilding the attraction that was there when you first met in that grimy bar. Upside: When it works, it works like gangbusters. Downside: It only works on girls who are still interested. Note: The “Still Gaming Her” text should be sent relatively soon after receiving her cancellation text. Otherwise, it will sound weird.
“That’s disappointing. We can meet on [whatever day], same time, same place. If that doesn’t work for you, we can cancel.”
“Something came up I can’t hang with you tomorrow, blah blah blah.”
Similar in function to the “Still Gaming Her” text, the IOD (Indicator of Disinterest) text is an attempt to steal her frame by disqualifying yourself on the follow-up. Catch: Letting a girl know you’re willing to walk works better on girls who haven’t already disqualified themselves with their flaky behavior. Sk3ptic’s suggestion to act as if you never even saw her cancellation text is particularly intriguing as an example of appealing directly to a woman’s emotions and circumventing her logic. Reframing an interaction with a girl does not require logic. It just requires balls. And chicks dig balls; logic… not so much.
Grade: Player’s C
Send her a multimedia text of a picture of your balls sack then text the words… “suck it”
This is “Nuke the pussy from orbit” text game. We should all do this. The story we could tell our buddies is worth more than the lay.
Grade: A+ if it’s an animated gif
picking up women has nothing to do with being an alpha.
Grade: Massive Beta
Jay Gatsby wrote:
“don’t call me. I’ll call you when I get back”.
Give or take a week later, send her another text saying “I’m back. Call you later.”
This is Stratego Game. Requires forethougtht and planning. I like it for its bold moves. Something like this could shake a girl back into attraction. Downside: Too many steps to implement.
Joe T. wrote:
“OK, no problem. Then meet me at the Hilton at 9 on Saturday, I will be giving a”
“Sounds good, but where did we meet again?…. Just kidding, how about we”
Ah yes, the dangling penis texts. Keep her wondering what the hell you were going to say. I’ve never tried this, so you’ll have to put in the field work yourselves to judge its effectiveness.
Kick a Bitch wrote:
“tell her to suck it up… we’re far more important ;)”
Now this is how you romance a girl.
Will is right that alphas do not send verbose texts. I’ve written about this before; the more laconic you are the better. But I think a lot of readers are making a mistake to assume the girl knows she sent a truncated text. Sometimes you type out a long text, send it, and close your phone without ever realizing it got partitioned into two texts. So the “Yes?” response is likely to confuse her. Which may not be a bad thing.
“You’re divorced!! Just kidding. That works out great , there’s xyz (make it sound like a big deal) and i was going to tell you I couldn’t make it. We’ll do something another day”
This is a double-barreled DLV. Your ploy to recuse yourself from the cancelled date post-hoc won’t fool her, and you’re offer of a future meetup when she just flaked on you with an insulting excuse is beta.
“I don’t know if you’re lying or not, but texting me in this way is bullshit. Cut the crap, make it up to me, and maybe I’ll give you access to my cock.”
You can’t guilt a woman into seeing you again. Women are led around by their emotions. If you make her feel bad for flaking, she’ll associate bad feelings with you. You may think you’re being an asshole, but assholes don’t care enough to feel an obligation to enlighten a girl on her bad manners. Don’t bother with these “calling her out on her BS” texts. They rarely work except on mentally unbalanced girls. I’m not theorizing here. I speak from solid experience. I once spent a couple months experimenting by calling out all the flaky girls I met. I sent about eight “I don’t accept this sort of rudeness” style texts to them when they flaked. Result: Not one of those girls replied.
el chief wrote:
“gay. you’re buying if we meet up again”
This is a great example of classic old school asshole game. I love it. Short, direct, non-needy and edgy. Downside: It gives off a whiff of emotionally affected annoyance. Won’t work on girls you didn’t leave a strong impression on when you first met, but those it does work on will fuck you right after they buy you that drink.
Grade: A for Alpha Asshole
“I’ve got lots of plans over the next couple weeks. Change your plans with your friend to lunch, and I’ll see you at 8 tomorrow.”
Some would say you shouldn’t force a girl to choose between you and her friend, but an alpha would say “fuck that” and lead her to the place he wants her to be. If she’s a highly primative girl, she’ll respond favorably to this angle of attack. Now you’ve got a girl who would flake on her friend to jump your bone.
Grade: Pass and Fail
Rain And wrote:
“My friend’s band is playing again, Sunday the 15th @ xxx. You should check them out.”
Great example of Indirect text game. Don’t acknowledge her cancellation, and don’t forgive her flake by setting up another date. Just drop a hint that you’re cool if she wants to meet you someplace you’ll already be. Upside: You seem detached. Downside: It puts too much of the decision making process in her hands.
What I Did
Ten minutes before the time we were supposed to meet, I sent this:
Hey, good luck.
I knew the excuse she gave was utterly ridiculous bullshit, so I figured the odds of meeting her again had dropped to near zero. But in the off chance that she was telling the truth, (remember, in my story her friend looks depressed. she could have been the one who was dumped), I wanted to keep the channels open for future contact. A brief, emotionally neutral text at the last second was the answer.
Everyone needs to read this comment by stagetwo. He has absolutely nailed the psychology behind the flake and the mental frame you must possess to deal with them.
if you show you assume it’s true, you’re beta: naive.
if you show you assume it’s not true, you’re beta: insecure.
In short, the matter of her veracity is COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to your response. Think about it. An alpha does not care whether she’s telling the truth. Lying and flaking is all part of the wonderful fabric of femininity. He is, by nature, unmoved by such precocious antics. Stagetwo’s suggestion is either No Response or:
“sure. guess what i just saw: [unrelated observation of mutual interest]”
Here are a couple more options you can pursue for dealing with flakes and which might work well.
- Flake first.
Some guys suggest the “Flake First” strategy of literally flaking out on a girl before she has had a chance to flake on you. This takes some serious balls, because most men are too weak and needy to actively blow up a chance to see a girl they like. This strategy would mean going against every instinct in your male psychology. Which is exactly why it could work on chicks like catnip. Give it a whirl. Cancel on the next three girls you schedule dates with. Don’t set up an alternate date. Just text something along the lines of “Hey, hate to say this but I have to cancel because of X. Another time.” Wait a few days. The next time you talk to her to arrange a meet, she’ll be itching to see you.
- Preselection game.
PUA Savoy has suggested sending this:
no problem, i’ll invite someone else.
“I’m a guy with options” game can blow up in your face if done under duress. You risk sounding spiteful. This type of text game could work well if you had arranged a very casual date to meet up at some event, like a show or dance class. It will have a plausible ring of truth in those cases. But if you had a one on one date at a bar with her and she cancels, then telling her you’ll invite another girl in her place will sound like a face-saving lie. This one needs field testing.