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Wedding Ring Game

I had a friend who used to wear a cheapo gold plated ring whenever he was out in a public place where there might be hot chicks, even though he wasn’t married. I asked him why. He beamed with pride as he said “The looks I get from girls quadruples when I wear this. It’s like a pussy beacon.”

It was true. When I was out with him, he would conspicuously position his left hand on the bar and girls would suddenly gather in clumps nearby, giving us obvious proximity approach cues, or they would go right up to my friend and open him with their lame pickup lines that would never work for a guy.

“Hi, do you come to this place a lot?”

I though maybe they felt comfortable approaching my friend because he seemed safe as a “married” man no longer in the hunt. But that theory was wrong. They approached him because they were intrigued. The sparkle of attraction in their eyes betrayed their tingling pussies. All he needed to do was slip that bad boy wedding band on his finger and it was like wearing the One Ring of Power — Sauron’s giant fiery labia was following him everywhere.

“What do you do when the girl asks about your “wife”?” I wondered.

“You’d be surprised. Half the time they never ask, and of course, I never mention it. I take the ring off in my pocket later in the night, after we’ve been talking for a while and she’s invested her time in me, and proceed to game her as normal. They must rationalize it away in their heads, as is the wont of their fickle gender.”

“And what about the ones who do ask?”

“Depends when she asks. If we’re making out on my couch and then she asks, I tell her my “wife” and I are separated and have an agreement to date around. I know I have her at that point, so the allure of being a taken man is no longer required. If she asks right away, I ignore her question — actually, they will never ASK, like “Are you married?”; instead they’ll hint at it tangentially, like “Does your wife know you are out tonight flirting with girls?” . Evasion is the word of the day. I might say “Does your Mom know you are out tonight letting guys like me flirt with you?” 90% of the time, this works. If you make a girl feel good emotions, she’ll conveniently forget all about your loyal wife sitting at home waiting for your return. For those 10% of girls who keep asking, I just say I’m “having issues” with my wife. Very few actually walk away because they feel bad flirting with a married man. Women are really amoral creatures, driven by their vaginas, like an animal in heat.”

“This all sounds so easy.”

“It is. Which is why I can’t believe more men don’t do it.”

“I guess some guys have a problem with lying.”

“They shouldn’t. Women certainly don’t.”

Public Service Announcement: Most girls can’t tell the difference between gold plated and 24K gold. Save your money, gentlemen.


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