Feed on

My Personal Pickup Openers

This post is also available in: German

A while ago, I brainstormed a list of indirect openers and conversation starters to use for cold approaches. Some of these are originals, some are reworkings of popular openers already in circulation in the pickup community. For a time, I actually kept this as a cheat sheet in my back pocket to assist during those rare moments my mind was a complete blank and I could think of nothing to say. I would guess I use “canned” openers on 10% of my approaches. I prefer situational openers, where I jive about whatever happens to be going on around us. But sometimes canned material is very helpful to ease the way for you to get out of a slump or as a temporary substitute for weak natural game.

Note: These are NOT “pickup lines”. They won’t make a girl automatically attracted to you, and they aren’t examples of direct game. They’re simply interesting or amusing things to talk about that get girls intrigued and invested in a conversation with you. They also raise your value by making you sound more interesting to girls than 99% of guys out there.

Most of the ones below fall under the category of opinion opener, which I’ve found are more effective as something you say right after you’ve broken the ice with a casual greeting.

The best way to use these lines is to anchor them to a back story, otherwise you risk sounding creepy if you crash a set blurting them out machine gun style. For instance, I might say “My buddy over there just broke up with his girlfriend and I’ve been spending the night consoling him. She was just way too jealous of him. Do you think guys or girls get jealous more easily?”


1. How would you react if your boyfriend gave you an ultimatum?

2. Why do girls check out other girls more than they check out guys?

3. There are people who analyze walks and can tell what mood you’re in, what you’re thinking, and even what you do for a living.

– great for steering a conversation in many different directions.

4. You look like the type who would date a starving artist, but marry a doctor.

– this one has been very good to me because it is part opener, part neg.

5. Let’s say you were dating this guy for a while, fell in love with him, and found out months later that he was broke. Would you break up with him?

– also one of my favorites. anything that hints at the core nature of women elicits strong reactions.

6. Were you nervous the first time you tried on a bikini? My buddy said he was nervous when he first tried on a suit. -OR- My ex said she was nervous the first time she wore 5 inch stiletto heels.

– a conversation builder like this is highly context dependent. use with caution.

7. There was a study done recently that said that beautiful couples have more daughters and nerdy couples have more sons. Would you say your parents were beautiful or nerdy?

8. Who can keep a secret longer — guys or girls?

– simple. direct. easy to remember. make sure to anchor it if this is your opener.

9. Are the best lovers made or born?

– not recommended as an opener. better as banter material.

10. You guys are in the power position. Yeah, tight circle, backs to everyone, like a football huddle. No guy is gonna get through your defenses. But how would you stand if one of you… let’s say her (motion toward your target)… really wanted to be approached by a cool guy?

– if you like to approach sets boldly, this one is for you.

11. If a guy needs to buy some stylish clothes is it better for him to take along a girlfriend or a girl buddy for fashion tips? What about a gay friend?

12. Who has better fashion sense — girls or gay guys?

– any mention of the word “gay” is like the all-purpose social lubricant.

13. You look like the type of girl who would leave a club if another girl was wearing the same shirt.

– this one is a risky opener gambit. use on stuck up chicks who need to be brought down off their pedestals they have constructed on the backs of fawning betas.

14. I’ve read that men get more jealous from sexual infidelity and women get more jealous from love infidelity. Which one bothers you more?

– better in low key environments with smarter prospects. drunk club sluts won’t get what you’re saying.

15. Do you guys believe in reincarnation? If it were true, what kind of person do you think you’d be in your next life? You (point at potential cockblock)… you look like you’d be a CEO in your next life… and you (point at target), a ballet geek!

– now THIS is good for the clubs. it’s an opener that lets you yell above the noise, and it contains one of those key words – reincarnation – that instantly pricks a girl’s attention.


This one is not an original by me but I have used it with great results. It’s an example of direct game.

You: [striding confidently into the set] Do you know why you girls suck?
Girls: [looking at each other incredulously, but expectantly]
You: Because I’ve been standing over there for ten minutes and you haven’t come over to say Hi. I mean, I can tell you’d like to, you keep giving me the eye.


Try these at your leisure. Anyone scoring a lay off them will be written about in a later post on my blog, and your deeds will be sung by the bards for generations.


Comments are closed.