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In relation to yesterday’s post, there are three main reasons why a girl would withhold sex from her bf/husband. Two of these reasons signal deep trouble with the health of the relationship.

  1. she’s trying to manipulate him with vagina power.
  2. she’s lost attraction for him.
  3. she’s genuinely not in the mood due to sickness or injury.

If you suspect #1 is happening to you, you need to make a last stand for your manhood. No wavering. Any buckling on your part and you have opened a Clamdora’s Box of perpetual bartering for her sex in exchange for your obeisance. Live free or be domesticated.

If #2 is the reason (being observant will help you notice this before it’s too late), then either attempt to outmaneuver her and restrengthen her attraction for you, or bail before your pride is in tatters. Writing her love poems is not an effective counterattack.

Only #3 can be safely taken at face value. But make sure she’s being sincere. “Headaches” don’t count. In fact, orgasms have been shown to alleviate a woman’s headache. If she pulls the headache routine on you, then every time she asks you a favor you can do the same.

“Can you help me fold laundry?”

“Not tonight honey, I have a headache.”

The only time you can excuse her for not servicing your manly needs is when she’s injured or violently ill. Emphasis on “violently”. Projectile vomiting is a legitimate excuse from sex duty. So is chemotherapy. And third trimester pregnancy. (OK, that last one was really an excuse for men.) Hip surgery absolves her of sex, but not blowjobs. The flu… no, unless it’s Asian bird flu. Car accident? Only if the airbag deployed. If she’s feeling self-conscious about “feminine odors” tell her your nose is stuffed up and do her with your head positioned as far away as possible from her privates.

Like an employer gives you sick days, have a sick leave plan for the girl you’re dating. Two days per year should suffice. There’s no accrual rate on this plan. She either uses them or loses them at the end of each year. If she uses more than two days per year you have the right to terminate the relationship contract for poor job performance.

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