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Withholding Sex

A local DC girl wrote a post about withholding sex in an effort to strong arm her boyfriend to marry her. (Note: The original post has been taken down by the author but you can google cache to find it.)

Let’s start this off with a patented maxim:

Maxim #25: Withholding sex is the tactic of a woman who has already lost. It is mutually assured destruction.

If a woman is withholding sex, she may win a few battles with a beta boyfriend but she has lost the war. It’s a scorched earth strategy that fails on two levels.

One, it only works on guys who can’t score elsewhere. That is to say, undesirable guys. Pissant betas with no alternative options will step right in line yapping yes-dears like spineless whimpering curs once the snatch spigot is turned off. I have seen it with my own eyes… friends who suddenly have to spend Saturdays at Pier 1 or Crate & Barrel pawing through throw pillow bins because the girlfriend pouted and clamped her legs shut. Using sex as a weapon WILL work if the enemy (and that’s what he is if the relationship has gotten to this point) is weak and defenseless. Like “The Rules”, there is a certain amount of tried and true cynicism that will get a woman what she wants… superficially.

I say “superficially” because the seed of a scheming woman’s own unhappiness is contained in the success of her manipulative strategy. A woman who breaks her man by withholding sex is a woman who will never truly respect that man. She will come to resent him for letting her get her way through such devious means. And she will see him as weak, not to be trusted. How can you trust a man who would sacrifice his dignity just to keep the vagina flowing?

An alpha who knows how to pick up women will simply walk away from any girlfriend trying to pull the “my pussy is GOLD!” routine on him. Her selfishness will have backfired.

Two, if it works it merely extends a relationship — sometimes into marriage — that is built on a shallow foundation which is guaranteed to eventually give out. If the love is more than a one-way street, she will never view sex as a bargaining chip and he will never make her so unhappy that she would seriously entertain the idea of commoditizing her cunt. So let’s say this chick gets her way — she locks up her pussy for a few weeks and he caves, buying her an expensive engagement ring. Sounds romantic, eh? If I were a betting man, I’d short sell this marriage.

Practically speaking, the withholding sex strategy is a maneuver that has lost much of its effectiveness as a means to corral a foot-dragger into proposing marriage thanks to all-access, all-the-time, all-you-can-want internet porn. A lot of men can wait out a girl playing these games by resorting to porn. And men who have been with many women, the ones who don’t need porn, the ones all women want, won’t wait long at all. They’ll wander off in search of fresh meat the moment she’s strapped on the chastity belt.

Men can play this game, too. I’ve “withheld” sex from women, not intentionally, because I was tired or sated from sex with other women. Let me tell you, turning the tables like this will REALLY fuck with a girl’s head. They take it personally, like you just left a turd in every one of her shoes.

Girls must be hardwired to completely freak out if their sexual favors are rejected. That is because they have little experience dealing with direct sexual rejection. Men are built to handle sexual rejection better. Therefore, men’s egos are stronger than women’s egos.


VK made a good point in the comments about how withholding sex can become a habit if the woman sees it is working on her man. Capitulating even once to such a woman can lead down a dangerous slippery slope.

It starts with roping the guy into marriage, then the next thing you know she’s making an impenetrable crotch fortress out of the bedsheets because you didn’t spread the cream cheese on her bagel the way she likes it.

My advice to any man who senses he is being victimized by a sex withholder — run away as fast as you can and stay away. If she wins, she wins for life. You’ll wind up begging for sex every freaking day you and her are together.

You: “Can we have sex now?”

Her: “Did you finish your chores?”

Think about it.


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