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Mystery

Why do some men use the toilet to piss, splashing droplets of urine all over the seat, when there are two perfectly good, AVAILABLE, urinals nearby?

You suck, toilet pissers.

21 Responses to “Mystery”

  1. sestamibi says:

    As an analyst, I would find it interesting to determine the correlation of toilet pisser shares with 1) the presence of only one urinal, 2) the presence of multiple urinals with privacy dividers, and 3) the presence of multiple urinals WITHOUT privacy dividers.

    The case you cite would be either #2 or #3. Which one was it?

  2. roissy says:

    #2. two urinals (one for shorter men) separated by one robust divider. which really makes the toilet pissing such a breach of bathroom etiquette.

  3. Peter says:

    #2. two urinals (one for shorter men) separated by one robust divider. which really makes the toilet pissing such a breach of bathroom etiquette.

    I would quite imagine that the urinal for “shorter men” is actually designed for little boys.

  4. thisdevilsworkday says:

    Perhaps they are pee shy. Roughly 14.4% of people suffer from this!

    http://thisdevilsworkday.wordpress.com/

  5. InterestedParty says:

    This is indeed one of the great mysteries of the universe. Whoever solves this deserves at least one Nobel Prize.

  6. Yakking Guy says:

    Better than stalls vs urinals: search this page for the word “knocked”
    http://www.snpp.com/episodes/1F02.html
    (metaphorically referred to as “stage fright”)
    Yes, stall-pissers are undoubtedly almost all betas, secretly wishing to be uberBillys
    Search THIS page for the word “urinated”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Carter

    Semi-off-topic: Did anyone besides me notice that Roissy (in the link to his online photo which he quickly [and wisely] deleted) looks remarkably similar to this celebrity [link courtesy of Google Image Seach]?http://www.allisongordin.com/celebrities/images/James_Spader_jpg.jpg

    Roissy, if you delete this post, I’ll go “Dizzy” on you and start peppering the Comments section with “James Spader” under random handles!
    Bwahahahaha!

  7. xavier says:

    As someone who ONLY uses the toilets to piss in rather than the urinals, I think its a privacy issue. When I was a kid, I took a piss (I think it was Union Station in DC) in a urinal and some dude leaned over and took a peak at my wang. When I asked him what his problem was, he simply said “Just lookin, man.”

    Another time, at the Skyline mall in Northern VA I had a strange lurking man peaking thought the the cracks in the stalls while I was taking a dump.

    Ever since, I always use the stalls rather than the urinals to take a piss. The extra door adds a sense of extra security/privacy. I simply can’t go if there is another dude standing next to me.

  8. Ben says:

    A trick I learned for getting over being pee-shy is to try and do complex multiplication in your head while you’re trying to go. By the time I get halfway through a problem I am usually peeing.

    As for why some men are using stalls instead of urinals, its obviously because the Feminist movement has so neutered men in the Western world that we are no longer manly enough to use stalls. These feminists want men and women peeing on an equal playing field.

  9. blah says:

    Obviously because you can just blast away at a toilet, whereas you need to control velocity at a urinal in order to avoid backsplash.

  10. SFG says:

    Sometimes the urinals are full.

    Did anyone besides me notice that Roissy (in the link to his online photo which he quickly [and wisely] deleted) looks remarkably similar to this celebrity

    Well, James Spader was the sadist in Secretary, so it kind of fits.

    BTW, Roissy is the name of the chateau where the men take their slaves in the Story of O. I can’t believe I only now figured this out.

  11. Reggie says:

    Me, I just don’t want to give anyone an inferiority complex.

  12. Yakking Guy says:

    [SFG said] BTW, Roissy is the name of the chateau where the men take their slaves in the Story of O. I can’t believe I only now figured this out.

    Funny coincidence: Just today I tried typing the URL directly to this site (Roissy in DC) and chanced upon this instead:
    http://www.wordpress.roissy.com/

  13. jusa says:

    If this is at work, it’s easy. Because I go in more than I need to in order to get away unnoticed, and don’t feel like chit chatting with all my co-workers.
    Also see; bathroom and solitary private area.

    But we had nice bathrooms, with real doors that went to the floor.

  14. tuntematon sotilas says:

    @ #12: not as funny of a coincidence as you might think – it looks like http://anything at all].roissy.com or http://www.anything at all].roissy.com leads to the same page. but yeah, it’s still interesting.

  15. GFY says:

    I will occasionally use the stall for the following 3 reasons:

    1. I need to blow my nose and therefore knock out two birds with one stone.

    2. The asshat at the adjacent urinal is grunting, whistling, farting, trying to talk to the other dude at the urinal, etc…

    3. Multiple asshats at a FedEx field take joy in berating my opposing team attire while I’m trying to aim for the nasty trough.

    Having said that, I will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wipe the rim with TP if I happen to be off my aim that day. To do otherwise is indeed a crime to humanity.

  16. balkanboy says:

    This just happened to me at the university swimming pool. Jeez what kind of a genuine moron do you have to be to piss all over one of the two toilets when there are no less then five urinals centimeters away… centimeters.

  17. rinaface says:

    And when the broken hearted people
    Living in the world agree,
    There will be an answer, let it be.
    For though they may be parted there is
    Still a chance that they will see
    There will be an answer, let it be.
    Let it be, let it be. Yeah
    There will be an answer, let it be.

  18. Lester Hunt says:

    Better question: why do some leave the seat down when they piss?

  19. Misanthrope says:

    The last thing I need is for someone to check on my dong, while I’m in the pisser.

    And yes I know that’s a beta view.

    Btw, why do you need a stall in the club anyways. You NEVER shit in the club.

  20. Rain And says:

    Why do some men use the toilet to piss

    ANSWER:

  21. roissy says:

    rain and – hilarious.

    “you’re not makin brown?
    i’m not makin brown!”

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