UPDATE:
I’ve adjusted the scoring and categories a bit because the test was skewed somewhat toward lower scores. For those who have arguments with my scoring system, understand that it is based on averages. I’m sure everyone knows a 34 year old woman who is just as hot as the average 22 year old girl, but the exceptions don’t make the rules.
And a note on BMI:
I used the 1959 Met Life height-weight insurance charts as guides as they are the most accurate (before American “grade inflation” made obese the new normal). A 5’10” 140lb woman would have a BMI of 20.1, which puts her well within the most desirable BMI category.
*****
If you are a woman, this test will measure your dating market value. The higher the number, the better quality man you can catch. The lower the number, the more likely you will find yourself surrounded by cats. Unlike the male version of this test, here I have added a sliding scale to some of the questions because this better reflects the outsized importance that certain factors have on a woman’s total sexual value.
Guys, you may take this quiz for your girlfriends or wives to see if you have settled for tepid sex once a week or if you always get hard looking at her and never forget her birthday.
1. How old are you?
15 to 16 years old: +5 points
17 to 20 years old: +10 points
21 to 25 years old: +8 points
26 to 29 years old: +3 point
30 to 33 years old: 0 points
33 to 36 years old: -1 point
37 to 40 years old: -5 points
41 to 45 years old: -8 points
46 to 49 years old: -10 points
over 49: you’ve hit the wall. waysa?
2. How important is makeup to your appearance?
It slightly enhances my looks: 0 points
I look like a different woman with makeup: -1 point
I’m a natural beauty. My morning face looks the same as my evening face: +1 point
3. What is your IQ? (This relates tangentially to your ability to connect emotionally with a man.)
Under 85: -1 point
85 to 100: 0 points
101 to 120: +1 point
121 to 145: 0 points
Over 145: -1 point
*****
The following ten questions deal with the physical attractiveness of your body.
4. Your breast size is:
Bee stings up to A cup: -1 point
B cup: 0 points
C cup: +1 point
D cup, naturally firm: +2 points
DD cup, firm: +1 point
E cup and up: 0 points
5. Your breasts look firm and pert when you wear:
A bra: 0 points
An underwire push-up bra: -1 point
Nothing: +1 point
6. How long are your legs in relation to your height?
Long: +1 point
Average: 0 points
Short: -1 point
7. What is the shape of your ass?
Flat: -1 point
Round and fleshy: +1 point
Round, fleshy, and firm: +2 points
Flat and saggy: -2 points
Just average: 0 points
8. How flat is your stomach?
Cutting board flat: +1 point
Slight pouch: 0 points
Muffin top: -1 point
Flabby beer gut and fupa: -10 points
9. How toned are your upper arms?
Very toned, I can see my triceps: +1 point
Average, not flabby: 0 points
If I hold my arm out, I can wobble the fat underneath my upper arm: -1 point
10. How big are your hands?
Delicate piano fingers, proportionally small: +1 point
Average size: 0 points
Manhands: -1 point
11. Where is there hair on your body?
My head and pubic area only: +1 point
I have to shave my legs daily and wax my bushy eyebrows: 0 points
I have dark forearm hair and a mustache: -1 point
Nipples, asscrack, and that giant mole on my back: -2 points
12. Get a tape ruler and measure around your waist and your hips. Divide your waist number by your hip number. This ratio is:
0.65 to 0.75: +1 point
0.55 to 0.64: 0 points
under 0.55: -1 point
0.76 to 0.85: 0 points
0.85 to 0.95: -1 point
over 0.95: -2 points
13. What is your BMI?
(Go here to calculate your BMI. The scoring of female BMI varies somewhat from that of male BMI because aesthetics, not just general health, have to be taken into consideration.)
under 14.1: -10 points
14.1 to 15.0: -5 points
15.1 to 16.5: 0 points
16.6 to 17.4: +3 points
17.5 to 21.0: +10 points
21.1 to 23.0: +3 points
23.1 to 24.5: 0 points
24.6 to 28.0: -5 points
28.1 to 33.0: -10 points
over 33.0: stop taking this quiz. you get nothing! you lose! good day madam!
*****
The next ten questions are the section of the test that measures your facial beauty. Since so much of a woman’s dating market value resides in the appeal of her face, I have chosen to examine some traits in finer detail. To illustrate how very subtle changes in facial characteristics can mean the difference between beautiful and ugly, look at these two photos:
I do not even have to label these photos because almost all my readers viewing them, men and women, will instinctively know which is the hot girl and which is not. Remember this the next time someone tells you beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
14. On a scale of 1 to 10, how pretty are you?
Note: Do not bother soliciting the opinions of the following people, because they will not give you a truthful answer.
Your family.
Your heterosexual female friends.
Your homosexual male friends.
Your heterosexual male friends who would sleep with you given the chance.
Instead, put your pic up on hotornot and check back in a week. Otherwise, go with what you’ve overheard through the grapevine by people who weren’t your close friends, or suck it up and try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Lesbians will also give you an accurate appraisal as long as it is through a third party and not directly to your face. Use the photos above as guidelines. Adjust your rating based on how close your facial morphology matches one or the other.
0: don’t bothering finishing this test.
1 to 2: -10 points
3 to 4: -5 points
5: -1 point
6: +2 points
7: +5 points
8 to 9: +8 points
10: +12 points
15. How clear is your skin?
No acne, blemishes, or poorly located moles: 0 points
Some combination of the above: -1 point
People are always telling you how silky smooth your skin looks: +1 point
16. Do you have any noticeable deformities?
Yes, minor: -1 point
Yes, major: -10 points
No: 0 points
17. How full are your lips?
Pencil thin: -1 point
Average: 0 points
Juicily plump: +1 point
Weirdly oversized: 0 points
18. How high is your forehead?
Low: -1 point
Average: 0 points
High: +1 point
19. How long is your jawline from ear to chin?
Long: -1 point
Average: 0 points
Short: +1 point
20. How big is your chin?
Small: +1 point
Average: 0 points
Large: -1 point
21. How big is your nose?
Small: +1 point
Average: 0 points
Large: -1 point
22. In proportion to the size of your face, are your eyes:
Large and saucer-like: +1 point
Normal-sized: 0 points
Small and beady: -1 point
23. Is the distance between your eyes:
Wide: +1 point
Average: 0 points
Narrow: -1 point
The bottom line on female facial beauty is that as the lower half of her face becomes smaller and more delicate, making her eyes and cheekbones appear more prominent, the better looking she will be.
*****
The final eleven questions measure your femininity, sexiness, and pleasing personality traits. This is the closest to “game” that women have at their disposal. It isn’t much, which is why the scoring is lowest in this section.
24. You frequently wear sexy lingerie, even when not prepping for a hot date.
Yes: +1 point
Special occasions only: 0 points
Never. Ripped and stained comfy granny panties only: -1 point
25. When someone gets hurt you are the first to ask if they are OK and to deliver aid if needed.
Almost always: +1 point
Occasionally: 0 points
Almost never: -1 point
26. You are highly competitive and often play co-ed team sports.
Yes, and I will throw an elbow if necessary. My shelf is filled with trophies: -1 point
I like to exercise on nice days with one on one sports like tennis: +1 point
I’m competitive with other girls, but not guys: 0 points
27. When a guy approaches you in a bar, regardless of your attraction for him, you:
Smile and look at him: +1 point
Pretend like you don’t notice him coming: 0 points
Frown and tell him you’re talking to your friends before he even gets a chance to say Hi: -1 point
28. On a first date the check arrives for dinner and drinks. You:
Offer to split the check or even pay in full: +1 point
Smile and thank the guy when he pays for the check: 0 points
Forget to thank him after he pays for your ungrateful ass: -1 point
29. You are about to have sex with a guy for the first time. He undresses and his penis is small. Do you:
Tell him how great his cock looks and feels?: +1 point
Say nothing: 0 points
Look surprised and stifle a laugh: -1 point
30. You think blowjobs are:
Great! You give them spontaneously and there’s never any doubt how much you enjoy it: +1 point
An obligation: 0 points
Gross. You gave one after your BF proposed and spit it on his shoes: -1 point
31. Do you do anal?
Yes, and it makes me come to know how much it pleases my man: +1 point
Only when I get really drunk: 0 points
Never. It’s an exit only: -1 point
32. The number of sex positions you have tried is:
3 to 10: 0 points
Missionary and doggy style only: -1 point
I’m a contortionist: +1 point
33. How often do you curse?
I think I said damn once: +1 point
I blurt out fuck and shit a few times a week: 0 points
My mouth is a gutter: -1 point
34. You’d best describe your sense of fashion as:
I’m a label whore: -1 point
I hide my body under baggy tees and ill-fitting jeans: -1 point
I wear casual clothing that flatters my figure: 0 points
I wear stylish clothing on weeknights and I can handle heels over 3 inches: +1 point
My flip flops have my foot imprint in them: -2 points
*****
SCORING
There is a minimum of -83 points and a maximum of 64 points to earn based on the questions asked. The reason the minimum score goes lower than the maximum score goes high is because there are a few things, such as gross obesity, old age, or a major facial deformity, that seriously negatively impact a woman’s overall rating to the point of market extinction.
The scoring breaks down as follows:
-83: You are proof that god does not exist, but that satan does.
-82 to -56: You’re an omega. If it makes you feel better you will have your choice of male omegas to bang.
-55 to -40: The majority of men are disgusted by the sight of you. Your kind will suffer most when our sexbot overlords arrive. Losers hit on you constantly figuring they have a chance.
-39 to -20: You were born to cockblock. But you’ll manage to marry a table scrap.
-19 to -5: Lesser beta. The men you want make fun of you out of earshot. You spend many years learning how to settle for mediocre betas.
-4 to 14: Classic beta. Your hot friends always gets hit on first, but if you really tramp it up you can snag a slightly better than average guy to take you home for a single night of commitment.
15 to 29: Greater beta. More than a few attractive guys will approach you. But if your personality is flawed you risk becoming a pump and dump victim.
30 to 43: You are officially a nascent alpha female. A lot of quality guys will hit on you and you will be able to pick and choose at your leisure. But don’t push it. You’re not quite hot enough to string guys along forever.
44 to 55: You’re a bona fide hottie. Nearly every guy who meets you agrees you are a hottie. So does every girl. This puts you in the top 1% of worldwide womanhood. With great power comes great responsibility, so try to limit the number of men you torture with blueballs and LJFB rejections to fewer than 100 in your social circle. As long as you are not a complete bitch, marriage with a top quality man will come easily to you.
56 to 63: Guys want you, girls want to be you. You are just short of perfection, which paradoxically means you will get hit on more than the super alpha females. You are a player’s greatest challenge, and his greatest reward, because unlike the perfect woman there is still something human about you. Sex, love, security, commitment, easy living… you have it all. Only your demons can defeat you.
64: Super Alpha. The world is yours. Life is an endless parade of joy and excitement. Your power is illimitable… for now.
I hope everyone noticed what was missing from this test:
Your job.
The amount of money you make.
Your accomplishments.
Your social status and number of friends.
Your deep and profound worldview.
Unlike the men who took my Male Dating Market Value test, I do not expect *any* women to be completely honest with themselves taking the Female Dating Market Value test. The female ego is simply way too fragile to absorb the shock of such a brutal self-assessment. Therefore, I will be mentally subtracting 10 points from every woman who posts her score here in the comments.
[crypto-donation-box]
