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Bartender Hush Money

This post is also available in: German

I have two or three favorite bars/lounges I like to take dates.  I’d prefer to be more creative but logistics are just as important as venue atmosphere, so I always wind up asking girls to meet me at the same few bars.  I live in an area densely packed with nightlife locations so it’s easy to arrange dates within walking distance of my place.  It makes no sense for me to meet a girl at some swank new bar halfway across town because its heavy red drapes and array of candles look like it would facilitate the seduction process, when the best way to smoothly seduce her is to have her meet me at a place 20 yards from my front door.

Making return trips to the same bar with a different girl each time earns me knowing looks and smirks from the staff.  I got a high five once and an “alriiiight romeo!” prompting my date to ask what that was all about.  The bartender looked a little sheepish recognizing the bind he had put me in and quickly made up an acceptable story on the spot.  I tipped him big.

Tipping generously means either future free drinks or hush money.  It’s not necessary, of course, if you’re on friendly terms with the bar staff, but occasionally a new hire who doesn’t know you will need to have his or her palm greased to ensure their bar remains a safe haven for your player activities.  Female bartenders are more difficult to bring on board because not only do they feel a remote obligation to protect the delicacies of their fellow sisters, but they will often become intrigued by you and your parade of girls.  And female intrigue leads to jealousy leads to sabotage.  You never want to have a woman conspiring against you because their skills of sabotage are far superior to men’s.  You might leave for the bathroom for a minute and when you get back your date is interrogating you about your relationship history.

The worst thing you can do is tip poorly.  If you have alligator arms when it comes time to reach for your wallet you will never hear back from dates you bring to that bar.  Like it or not, tipping is a status marker and payola.  Tip well, and you’ll find bartenders talking up your accomplishments and coolness and your date running her finger along the lip of her glass.  Nothing beats third party endorsement.


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