Most women, and some men, believe that the bitterness and misogyny of beta males accounts for their failure with women. That betas are their own worst enemy. It is a common human compulsion to want to believe that the tortures of the sexually damned are self-inflicted — unlike poverty or gender discrimination, the first instinct of the moralizers in matters of unequal distribution of sex and love is to blame the victim.
To me, it’s a chicken and egg argument. Betas and omegas are certainly bitter and their retreat into self-pity and sour grapes only worsens their predicament. But I don’t believe bitterbetas started out that way. They got that way through repeated failings in the dating scene. Here’s an illustration of how that happens.
Imagine two men, one a beta with low dating market value and the other an alpha with high dating market value. By dating market value, I am referring to the aggregate of traits the men possess which either move them closer or further away from the general attractiveness standards. Some of these traits are beyond their power to remedy, such as stature and looks, while other traits, like humor and charm, reside in the gray area of innate attributes that are somewhat changeable through deliberate effort.
Their respective suite of traits means that Beta is attractive to 1 out of 1,000 women and Alpha is attractive to 1 out of 10 women. (The absolute number values are not important in this example; what matters is the relative disparity.) If both go to a club that has 100 women in attendance, 10 of those women will be attracted to Alpha while Beta would be lucky if his 1 out of 1,000 woman is even there.
If Beta and Alpha begin their careers of hitting on women it’s likely that Alpha would have banged 100 women before Beta even lost his virginity.
Over time, the repeated failures of Beta and the repeated successes of Alpha would mount. Both may have started their journeys to poon wide-eyed with optimism and hope, but after a few years it’s easy to picture what kinds of attitudes each would develop as a consequence of his dating market value. Alpha would embrace dating; he would see it as a playground full of excitement and fun and adventure and joy. Beta would dread the dating scene; he’d go to every date with a feeling of frustration, expecting the rejection that he had become accustomed to experiencing.
Success breeds success. A surfeit of pussy means Alpha would acquire discriminating taste in women. He would learn how to screen for what he wants and how to qualify women for the values he looks for in a mate. This, of course, would make him even more attractive to women. But poor Beta… he’d take what he could get. Beggars can’t be choosers. After many years of their divergent paths, Alpha would achieve great knowledge in the ways of women and romance while Beta would know next to nothing.
What do the unsympathetic beta-haters think would result from this illustration I’ve laid out? It’s simple. Alpha would be a very happy dude and Beta would be embittered. So for those whose advice to a loser in love is to “just be himself” around women remember that that is exactly what brought him to his miserable condition.
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