This post is also available in: English
I couldn’t help overhearing every snippet of their conversation as the night wore on.
Him: I’m gonna have a glass of wine.
Her: No, you aren’t. You’ve had enough.
Him: *heavy sigh* *chin into chest*
Him: Can you look up the weather for tomorrow?
Her: No, I’m doing something right now, can’t you see?
Him: We’re going to Thailand next month.
Her: No, *I’m* going to Thailand. He’s just meeting me there later.
Him: I’ve gotta check the travel itinerary.
Her: In a minute. Just relax, I’ll get to it.
Disgusted, I turned to my companion.
“How long have they been together?”
Five years of putting up with that impudence from a woman. I’d sooner join a monastery.
The dude in question was an average looking guy with a decent personality. Just an everyday normal beta male absorbing body blows of insolence from his girlfriend in a public setting, his hound dog face betraying a weary resignation.
Question directed to the studio audience. What particular fact which I left out of this post explains why this relationship has lasted five years?
Hint: A hot chick would quickly dump a beta of that magnitude.
Frank Xavier was the first commenter to get the right answer:
She’s put on lots of weight since they started going out.
She wasn’t exactly svelte when he met her, but she blimped out as the relationship progressed. The residual attraction he used to feel for her has created inertia, keeping him glued in place. He is a beta filled with the fear of the unknown, so it is difficult for him to leave relationships. But what about her? Most women would either cheat on or dump a sniveling lackey in short order… unless the woman was fat.
Fat women subconsciously know — though they will never admit it — that they have fewer options in the dating market than they would have if they were thin. She hates having to boss him around, and harbors contempt for him, but she knows she will be single a long time if she were to leave him. The sexual market is merciless in its judgment.
Result: He puts up with her fatness, and she puts up with his betaness.
If options = instability, then lack of options = stability.
And you’d be surprised just how many relationships, marriages included, fall into this soul-sucking pattern. When you see an ugly couple together, physically and/or psychologically ugly, don’t try to soften the revulsion you feel by chanting to yourself that they’re happy. They’re not. They’ve just given up, and in their surrender there is a numbing relief that accompanies the resignation.
Comfortably numb, is how I’d describe the typical beta male/unattractive female relationship.
Those commenters who said that some women like weak betas they can dominate are wrong. You can see it in the faces of both man and woman when the dominance/submission polarity is reversed: he will look beaten down, like a tired old hound dog, and she will look tense and irritable, like a woman cursed with perpetual PMS.
What women like and what women settle for are rarely, for the majority of women, the same thing. Women don’t want to be the dominant ones in relationships, but against their deepest desires they will assume the role if the man refuses to step up. As commenter Rollo wrote:
In any relationship, by order of degrees, there will always be a dominant and a submissive partner. For what ever reason (probably a belief in egalitarian gender equality) he chose the submissive partner role and abdicated to the authority of a dominant partner who didn’t have his best interests as her concern. She grows to resent him and now his life is over.
If you find yourself in a slave-like state, more likely than not a woman’s realized you’ve failed a great many of her past shit tests and will be reluctant to give up any semblance of power she thinks she has at this point. When a woman comes to recognize that her BF/husband can’t or wont provide her with the security she needs for herself and her children she will assume the role of the primary herself. Power abhors a vacuum and she will readily step into the role of the traditional security provider if a man is unwilling or incapable of doing so.
Confirmation of Rollo’s analysis is that the guy in question is a flaming left winger. He probably is knee-deep in the mental sludge of gender equalism.
Commenters who thought they might be married made good guesses. Many otherwise strong and proud men are reduced to groveling errand boys by the omnipresent threat of divorce theft.
Many commenters seemed to think the answer lay in the couple’s ethnicity or religion. I’m not sure why that would make a difference when we are examining fundamental and universal principles of sex relations, but since it titillates so many of you I’ll reveal that it was gentile-jewish couple. Which was which I’ll leave to you to figure out.
Some readers want to know how to respond to an insolent girlfriend dominating you in a public setting. The answer is… wait for it…
You: I’m gonna have a glass of wine.
Her: No, you aren’t. You’ve had enough.
You: [hold the glass with pinky out and drink it slowly in front of her. make slurping noises while doing this] Aaaaaahhhh!
That’s how you handle that. Don’t get angry or spiteful or nasty. That will backfire on you when there are people around. Plus, when a girlfriend has been dominating you for years, it’s going to take a lot more careful strategic thinking to break her in. You don’t tame a wild horse by yelling at it after it’s thrown you off, and the same goes for taming women.