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Whenever you’re stuck with a particular girl you’re trying to bed, and wondering what to do next, a good mental test to give yourself is to swap roles so that you are the one being chased by the girl. Except that in this reformulation, the girl is a plain looking girl for whom you have no strong feelings one way or the other. In other words, imagine a plain girl is gaming you exactly the same way you are gaming the new girl you want. The psychology of this scenario closely mimics what is going on in most girls’ heads when you game them. Does this imaginary plain girl’s game actively repulse you or does it spark an attraction for her? If it repulses you, then you’ll know that the game you are running on the actual girl is probably repulsing her as well.
For example (actual email from a male reader seeking advice):
An acquaintance invites me to meet some girls who are in town for a short while. It turned out to be a chaperoned “date” with his parents, us two guys and three girls. We are seated strategically, but I’m not next to the girl I want to know. After stupid conversation my friend and I take two of the girls to a nearby bar. I suggest we break into a nearby campus and make other comments. In the car ride to the next place, the girl says “sketch” and says that the guy in front has better conversations.
I know, half of that paragraph was Beta. Anyhow, the girl I was furthest from was hanging on my every word and gave me her number. I barely said “hi” to her, but she saw the attention the other girls received. I have her b-card and number. How to proceed? I was thinking “You didn’t get to talk to me, though you were dying to. Coffee?” I hear she has a bf, but that does not concern either of us.
The emailer should imagine he is being chased by a plain girl running the same game that he is thinking about running on this chick he likes. So in this thought experiment the plain girl has his business card (nevermind how she got it, it’s irrelevant), and she has just called or texted and said the following to our emailer:
“You didn’t get to talk to me, though you were dying to. Coffee?”
As a man, would you be more or less interested in a plain chick who texted the above to you? Probably less. It sounds like a girl who is trying vainly to conceal her motives, i.e. try-hard. If you were the man being chased by a plain girl running this game, you would say to yourself “No, I’m not really dying to talk to her.”
Well, that’s close to what the real life hot chick is saying to herself.
Now what if the plain girl called or, preferably, texted you this instead:
“I have your business card for some reason. Did we talk last night?”
More intriguing, eh? A little more aloof, too. You’d wonder if this plain chick was hotter than you thought, and you’d be compelled to follow-up with an offer to meet. Well, if our emailer sends this improved version to the real life hot chick, she will think the same way. This text is tighter game.
The plain girl test won’t apply in every hypothetical situation, but it is a handy guide for deciding whether your next move would be ill-advised or helpful toward getting the close.