Feed on
Posts
Comments

Spot The Alpha Male

Trick question: both of them!

Isn’t it funny how our reflexive reaction to scenes of non-chivalrous behavior by men is to view them as intrinsically alpha? There’s something deep in our primitive subconsciousness that tells us “this cocky bastard must be the Grand Poonbah to be able to ignore polite convention and convince girls to wait on him hand and foot”.

Remember, girls are thinking the same thing. Which is why it works.

44 Responses to “Spot The Alpha Male”

  1. Basil Ransom says:

    Baseball Cap Bro: Cigarette in hand, stronger pose, looking off into the distance while his woman quietly rows.

    ‘Beater Bro: Has glasses, relatively weaker sitting position. Looking same direction as his girl.

    Baseball cap bro has the edge in this moment in time. And IMO, beaters aren’t a good look if you’re on the scrawny side.

  2. berg says:

    No Way. They are not alpha. Maybe it is racial bias. But those are pansy ass wimps.

    I may give the guy with a cigarette/staring at other man’s girl an alpha, but sure as hell not limp arm/grandma glasses back there.

    • corvinus says:

      Given that the scene is in East Asia, I think we could give grandma-glasses guy a pass.

    • That’s what I was thinking. Maybe both women are the guys’ sisters.

    • Anonymous says:

      My immediate guess was that the guy who was looking at the other guy’s girl was more alpha. The other guy was too content with one girl, at least as far as that split second snapshot could suggest.

  3. ptptptptptbitches says:

    I’d give blue hat a slight edge for putting his woman in the correct rowing position, the other girl isn’t going to be able to generate any force from way back there.

    • GeishaKate says:

      Yes, stern first is ass backwards :) He’s the one in the rower’s position, which means either they know nothing about rowing or he was rowing and now she’s taken over! lol

  4. Tmason says:

    I’ll argue that the one with the cap is way more alpha body-language wise. The wife-beater wearing dude seems anxious.

    • Firepower says:

      Asians in the library?

      THAT is racist
      I hope I never see that stereotype
      used against blacks.

      • John Norman Howard says:

        “Hide your money on the bookshelf… books is like kryptonite to niggers.” – Chris Rock

        /from the Many A Truth Is Spoken In Jest archives

  5. GeishaKate says:

    Is it me or is the guy in the foreground looking at the girl in the background?

  6. Anon says:

    Yep. Next time if you have a car. Tell the girl she has to drive and get into the backseat.

    Don’t forget to yell orders.

  7. Flavia says:

    Argh. Can you delete the last post!! I crossed my email and my username- lol.

    …and they’re Korean right?

  8. Kuldar says:

    Guy with the wife beater is in the rowing position. If his girl was rowing, she’s moving the boat the wrong way. The reality of the situation is that this picture was taken while he was taking a break, he’s clearly tired and slumped over. His girl is just holding the paddles still.

    You’re missing the bigger picture by only focusing on their body language.

  9. Flavia says:

    Thank you!!! <3<3 ^_^

  10. 40 year old Virgin says:

    Well, you´re welcome. Thought you´d like the pics the second I found them.

    Though I used it rather to point out the thug love they all crave and mistake for alpha, even when it´s such an obvious facade.

  11. Anonymous says:

    It is the hardest thing to let go of notions like the man should always take the wheel, and that to let the girl row would be to give her the power. The old saw also applies in reverse: with great responsibility comes great power, or so I want to believe.

    My cultural “programming” with feminist/equalist ideas is comparatively shallow . It was always only of an intellectual kind. My desire to be in direct control of the boat is much more emotional and deep set.

  12. Derpio says:

    Unless they banged them on those boats, they are not alpha. I don’t see anything alpha in a man who agrees to go to this boring boat crap. Also, their seating position and limp bodies. Lean back, idiots.

    What probably happened is that they were rowing for some time until girls screamed something like “let me try, I wanna row lol!”.

    • Ecce Hetero says:

      Agreed.

      These are herbs whose “girlfriends” keep them around as validation buddies so they can play the male in their relationship like they do in their careers.

      Saw a couple like this yesterday. Guy was a total dipshit holding his pants up as he watched “his” girl check the oil in their car. One sniff of actual alpha and she’d be gone in a flash, at least until that alpha showed any beta characteristics, then she’d be back with another herbly wannabe thug.

  13. YaReally says:

    lol at smoking when the chick will be huffing an puffing for fresh air as she rows.

  14. JCclimber says:

    Yes, I’d say they both are, to some degree. One with the cig is checking another girl out, but his woman doesn’t look too happy and engaged with him. But at least her facial expression is submissive rather than challenging.

    The one with wife-beater is skinnier and more energetic, and while he seems slightly slumped, let’s see you sit in a backless chair on a boat for awhile, and sit up straight without looking like a prig. Also, while he isn’t big, his arms seem defined and at least he ain’t wearing some libtard John Lennon type spectacles. Seem more like sports eyeglasses with unbreakable frames.

  15. what says:

    of course both of them!!! the girls are rowing the boats, right? lazy alphas!!! who knows….smart girls just allow their guys to LOOK like they are alphas in public!!! hehehe!!

  16. DJDamage says:

    Is it really an alpha behaviour letting the women in the driver seat?! Most beta’s I know let the women drive their car’s while they sit in the passenger seat, most alpha’s still insist that they should be at the wheel.

    • Appleade says:

      It depends.

      Alpha’s like to be in the driver’s seat by virtue of their own conviction in themselves. They know that they have better control, senses, and reflex, and have a higher chance of survival if they were the ones driving.

      Betas would probably insist to be in the driver’s seat just for the merit of seeming Alpha. I wouldn’t mind chillaxing in the passenger’s seat if the girl knew where she was going.

    • Anon says:

      Driving a machine from point A to point B is different from letting a woman row a boat, that goes nowhere, in circles.

  17. Joe says:

    Was I the only one that reckoned the girls might be hired to row the boats?

  18. John Norman Howard says:

    Alpha in zipperhead land, maybe… guess that’s why Westerners do well with Oriental girls.

  19. peterike says:

    Caption contest entry: “Two dudes getting row jobs.”

    Thank you and good night!

  20. Paladin says:

    I was also thinking that the baseball cap with a smoke was the alpha because of his body language, but you do make an excellent point. In this case, it really is the big picture that matters.

  21. Anonymous says:

    The bigger question might be:Which of these fine Asian beeyotchezz is hotter??I would have to go with foreground girl.In fact,background girl ,when you look more closely,isnt all, that cute.Most AB’s arent really that attractive;but when they ARE,they really ARE! So,nerds,start a-whacking!!

  22. john says:

    Nerds…Ten-Hut! penis Ready-Huh! Coomence Jerking…Hoff!!!

  23. GBS says:

    They’re not alpha. They’re just taking a rowing class or some shit. The guy with the cigarette is probably the instructor.

  24. Banditos says:

    Who cares? They all look boring as shit.

  25. The Specimen says:

    I’d have to disagree and say that both these guys are beta as fuck. Physical things like rowing boats are the province of men. But then again, I guess now it’s all good for men to wear shirts with glitter on them and listen to soft ass emo rap (Drake). Women in love will let guys get away with a lot of shit, but abdicating the position of physical dominance isn’t one of them. Both chicks are pretty cute, but I can guarantee that they’re both candidates to end up fucking around on the side.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Heartiste, these guys are alpha? Take a second look bro.

  27. Woof says:

    I can’t imagine having the patience to sit there while a woman completely fucks up rowing a boat.

Leave a Reply