When women vent, something they do with alacrity and disinhibition, men of all kinds are frequently and amusingly caught off-guard. It’s a wonder, given the natural urge of women to routinely weep for their lonely souls and their otherworldly problems, why so many men are inept in the art of consoling women.
I’ve seen alpha males tongue-tied off the shoulder of a crying HB. I’ve watched smooth players wither into puling beta males listening to a cute chick quake. All those moments to make her feel special, lost in time… like tingles pre-vow.
Consolation Game is a minor adjunct to the Game oeuvre, but it has outsized importance, mostly because so few men know how to properly execute it. It’s very simple.
SELF-PITYING PRINCESS: oh whoa is me, whoa is me yada yada mada yada yada fada welcome to camp grenada…
THE DEVIL’S PHALLIC AVATAR: I understand.
There ya go. That’s it. “I understand.” No more need be said. Let her smear her make-up all over you and when her aqueduct is about run dry you express your very succinct understanding.
Oh sure, if you want to be creative, you can refract your response through a female narcissism filter.
“It’s right for you to feel bad.”
I swear 99% of the time this strategy (as elementary as it is) will leave you in her higher esteem than before. Why? Because women don’t want answers to their problems; they want wagon circling sympathy feels. And they LOVE LOVE LOVE a man who will step aside and let them have their emotional cleansing once in a while.
Unfortunately, something so simple is lost on the great majority of men, who for some strange reason as a sex are incapable of handling the frailer sex with the unobtrusive, curt collusion that signals to women an experienced man’s navigational facility with their peculiar feminine landscape. Instead, what one often observes is the man frantically trying to “lift up” (hi SJWs!) his inconsolable girl, or worse, trying to solve her issue, only to receive as gratitude her scowl and labia-turtling exasperation.
Eager, excessively earnest gestures of sympathy are NOT SEXY to girls. Don’t be that approval-seeking beta male spinning his tricycle wheels to turn a girl’s frown upside-down. Be the alpha male oak tree (Poon Commandment XV) who, in his girl’s moments of frivolous crisis, shades her from the judgment of the world until she has spent herself and returns to the delight of stroking his mighty trunk.
For newbies, it’s important to remember the distinction between this aloof ‘I understand’ stuff and then the active listening
Active listening means you repeat the last few words someone says and ask questions to make them feel good – a crucial technique of comfort and the whole “you and her vs the world” bullshit
People make this is too easy for a girl though. Trick is, If she thinks she’s earnt your attention – you win – I think a Heartiste maxim is “never make it easy for a woman”
LikeLike
If only this generation had fathers.
Consoling means deliberately not getting involved with a woman’s emotionalism. “I understand”? No, I don’t understand. They don’t want commiseration, they want fortitude. They know how silly they are, and they can’t help it. You can help it, and you can help her.
The modern fag millennial has no masculine model to emulate. They don’t just think indulging a woman’s emotionalism is the right thing to do, they think it’s what she wants. In her heart of hearts she wants the feeelings to go away and to not be so mastered by them. So the man must master her and her emotions for her.
When she is seized by temporary insanity, you don’t join her in it. You certainly don’t “understand” it. You neutralize it by your very nature. It is utterly alien to you. The more you relate with her burps of bathos, the more you repulse her.
LikeLike
New talent.
Bathos – Some English speakers likely know this word.
Good grief funny stuff let us laugh and drink, today is long.
LikeLike
Sorry, wanted to reference this is the best on-line dictionary.
LikeLike
Not new talent it’s Matt.
LikeLike
> “When she is seized by temporary insanity, you don’t join her in it. You certainly don’t “understand” it.” it.” ||||| MK, CH’s line – “It’s right for you to feel bad” – was [or at least can be] a very subtle Neg, to the extent that SHE HAS DONE SOMETHING WRONG, and that she ought to feel bad about whatever it was that she did. In that case, the Beta thing to do would be to tell her that she should NOT feel bad about whatever it was that she did.
LikeLike
Yeah man you’re right about the fathers
But if I ever wanted to give my future son one size fits all advice on girls, it would be:
“Women, something to put your dick in”
LikeLike
“XV. Maintain your state of control
You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her.”
LikeLike
By the way, NAWALT: women can acquire an inner strength and stoicism that dignifies them. Our culture does not ask them to keep their shit together like a refined ingenue or proud matriarch; hence they stay permanently stuck in the emotional maturity of a preteen.
Women cry or vent or rant because they instinctively understand that men find it cute. Ninety percent of it should be laughed off with a witty, teasing remark. In the one of ten times she genuinely needs consolation, offer a hand to hold, without comment.
Matt
LikeLike
I’m reminded of what my father would do when either of my sisters went to pieces in front of him. He’d say their name in a long, drawn-out manner and then add, “Pull yourself together!” or something very like that. That was, almost always, enough.
LikeLike
Her: “oh whoa is me, whoa is me yada yada”
You: “You have every right to feel bad.”
Her” http://www.kindgirls.com/photo/sexart/nika_o_32999/7800/12/10/
LikeLike
SHIKSA TO ALPHA:
LikeLike
YENTA TO ALPHA:
LikeLike
For the youngsters chez Le Chateau, this was that Alpha’s real-life wife:
LikeLike
Love it. My parents let me hang that poster on the wall of one of the front rooms off the foyer in the late 1970s. I well recall the ‘S-E-X’ urban legend. Did you see it?
LikeLike
Bar Bar was a nasty psycho bitch, to be sure. But she had pretty good genes, afterall. She was born with perfect pitch on top of a stunning voice, and face like Neanderthal Child.
LikeLike
Ms. Fawcett died of Human Papilloma Virus somehow getting into her ass and causing cancer.
2000,0000 betas never got to first base with her and never would. A couple of alphas, apparently went straight to her round pink special place-of-love early and often.
LikeLike
Can anyone can name a single shiksa that has made it into major motion pictures as a romantic lead with a face even 50% as off-putting as Streisand’s?
No other proof that the YKWs run Hollywood is needed than Babs cast as romantic lead.
See also Tory Spelling et al…
LikeLike
The takeaway is that ALPHAs never have to say that they’re sorry. Because 5 Minutes of Alpha == True Love, and [her] True Love means that Mr Alpha never has to say that he’s sorry. [And, let’s be honest here, a 100% Dark Triad psychopath is never sorry about anything at all – except maybe getting caught – but even getting caught is only a minor setback to the psychopath.]
LikeLike
and face like Neanderthal Child.
No, Heathen Child.
I post because it is essentially a video of the kinds of thoughts that pass through Rum’s brainpan.
LikeLike
went straight to her round pink special place
Her mouth?
Are you competing with Elmer, for the worst old man of all time?
LikeLike
Heartiste et al. What about a girl who won’t cry her problems to you, but you know (through word of mouth) she’s been through some relationship tough times and you’re trying to find just the right in with her? Boyfriend destroyer won’t work since she doesn’t have one and probably doesn’t want one cause of previous grief.
[CH: this is separate post material. short version: damaged goods will gravitate to the same sort of men who damage them.]
LikeLike
Haha. That’s a great insight.
[CH: whatever you do, don’t try to make her feel better, or insinuate in any manner that you’d be a better man to her. if she’s truly grief-stricken, she’ll love a charming bastard who can get her back to those good feelings she had before the SHTF. iow, treat her like you would any girl who didn’t have years of relationship baggage.]
LikeLike
The less you talk to her, the more she will (eventually) blab to you about all that.
LikeLike
This site always talks about “Game” but never really explains what “Game” is….can anyone here give me a good definition of what “Game” is and why I would work?
[CH: learned charisma. it works because women’s attraction mechanism is holistic, taking in the whole of a man for mate consideration.]
LikeLike
C’mon. It’s all here. Call it whatever you want. Better yet, do the opposite of what is advised here, see how that works for you.
LikeLike
i’ll try, game is having enough knowledge of REAL male-female interaction to optimize your choices in female companionship. it encompasses attitude, conversation, lifestyle, physical self-improvement, clothing choices, and sometimes yes, lines and gambits to get things rolling forward in the first few minutes
the default for many many men is to grab hold and cling to the first woman he sees that is semi-acceptable and he thinks he has a chance with. game flips the script, plays the man as the prize, and allows the man to CHOOSE his companion rather than just falling in to a relationship with a 5. game is self-determination in your relationships with women
[CH: don’t humor “kevin” too much. there’s a good chance “he’s” a troll.]
LikeLike
kevin probably is a troll but that explanation was first rate
[CH: true]
LikeLike
That helps
From what you have posted – I know I have been following a lot of that but getting horrendous results for years…so I need to find out what I am doing wrong
Thanks
LikeLike
No troll here
I am just in a terrible rut and need to figure out what I am doing wrong. Does asking for help make me a troll?…well not here!
LikeLike
“allows the man to CHOOSE his companion rather than just falling in to a relationship with a 5. game is self-determination in your relationships with women”
oh boy, can i relate to this. that describes most of my 20s and 30s. and i spent a good deal of time trying to extricate myself out of my last bad relationship because i settled like that. she made me miserable but i had so much guilt over wanting to leave. i knew it would hurt her and i was involved with her kids and family too. it wasn’t a good situation but ultimately i had to end it.
some people think i should have just stuck it out with her because i had already invested so much of my time and hers but i wasn’t getting any younger and neither was she.
i knew i would leave eventually so would it really have been better to put my life on hold for a decade or two and then ditch her when she’s 50 and has limited to no prospects for finding another man? nah, it’s better that i left when i did. even though this girl wasn’t a perfect unicorn (not even close) she never had much trouble finding a man. i shouldn’t have even worried about it.
i left and she found a new guy within six months. she’s fine. kids and family are fine. and i’m happier than i’ve ever been. my only regret is that i didn’t leave sooner.
LikeLike
Kevin – if you’re not trolling start here blog post 1… https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2007/04/09/endless-dating/ and work forward. All will become clear.
LikeLike
“if you’re not trolling start here blog post 1… ”
early CH is different, real but less jaded especially on relationships. never went back that far…
from 6 July 07
I’ve seen many players sabotage their relationships with really great girls who had captured their hearts because they feared losing control under the chaos of being in love. They put all this effort into bedding her and making her fall for them that they lost sight of the main objective.
A man can be all alpha but if he doesn’t cash it in for the ultimate prize he’s revealed the beta at his core.
whoa. love is the ultimate prize? what the hell?
i thought taking a dump on a girls chest was the ultimate prize
LikeLike
88: her kids? By some other guy? That’s all you needed to say.
Been there, done that briefly. But when you come to your senses, it’s an unfixable problem that you just have to next, the sooner the better.
LikeLike
this stuff works: wow I would like to see the context of that quote from ’07.
Because until you score, you’re not on the inside track. Don’t even start thinking about “love” if her vagina doesn’t know you. (Did CH once say something different? Hard for me to believe, because until I figured this out, I was clueless.)
That’s my summary of why game is what it is.
LikeLike
“I need to find out what I am doing wrong” – assuming you’re not a troll, and knowing nothing else but that single blurb, my first guess would be that what you’re doing wrong is precisely that you’re WORRYING about what you’re doing wrong. [The true Dark Triad psychopath doesn’t worry about anything.] Also, it helps if you actually ENJOY the company of women – we get a lot of spergish misanthropes here who don’t seem to particularly like women. Now I disagree with much of YaReally’s outlook on Life [which amounts to more of an infatuation with anti-Life], but at least YaReally seems to ENJOY the time that he spends with women. Or else he’s enough of a high-IQ spergish psychopath to understand that his algorithm needs to be modified to FAKE the aura of enjoyment.
LikeLike
@ David
88: her kids? By some other guy? That’s all you needed to say.
Been there, done that briefly. But when you come to your senses, it’s an unfixable problem that you just have to next, the sooner the better.
yep, her kids by her ex.
everything you said is absolutely true. glad i left when i did. and as i said before, the kids and her really are okay. the dad even started to get involved more when i got out of the picture.
when i was finally strong enough to get out of that situation i realized how much of my life and my happiness i had wasted by taking on responsibilities and obligations that weren’t even mine.
LikeLike
Game is physiological dominance.
LikeLike
*psychological dominance (auto correct!)
LikeLike
LikeLike
Game is Inner Frame + Learned Charisma. Inner Frame is composed of three things: confidence, confidence, and confidence. Game = Granite-quality confidence + playful, engaging sexuality. If you lack granite-quality confidence, then you have to fake it til you make it. Your confidence will grow with experience and understanding the overwhelming advantages of being a man.
LikeLike
You’re in the same position a lot of men were in when they stumbled upon this truth space.
If you’re not a troll, which my trolldar says you’re not, your interactions with women moving forward will be more honest and fruitful.
LikeLike
Game is the millennial rediscovery of manliness applied to the war of the sexes, which has of late been distorted by the delusions of feminist totalitarianism and the sexual revolution.
You were not taught how to be a man. Game is your remedial learning in ad-hoc style, insofar as you interact with the opposite sex.
Matt
LikeLike
[…] By CH […]
LikeLike
it works, i stumbled across it with a girlfriend who claimed to have been sexually harassed. anyway i had nothing to offer anyway because i was kind of dubious the claim was true or that it wasn’t overblown, so i went with ‘i understand’. felt like at some point i’d be called on not offering any help but i wasn’t. turns out she’ll get a settlement so maybe it was true but did i want to pore over every thought she had– no
LikeLike
Felt like at some point i’d be called on not offering any help but i wasn’t.
Check. They don’t want a solution, they want to emote. If they appear to be actually asking for something, may I suggest “Time heals all wounds.”
LikeLike
“You got harassed? Well sh!t d@mn, ain’t that a coincidence? On account of I’m about to harass the he11 outta that little cl!toris of yours.” – As you slide your hand into her und!es.
LikeLike
“Time heals all wounds.”
I like that, I use this one on my main: “life goes on.” That’s all… she knows I am not her emotional rag.
It usually stops the venting and waterfall right then and there, follow up shortly with some scrumpin’ and we have a purring kitten again. she tends to call her sisters or girlfriends if she wants to talk at length, by then I am usually not around.
Less is more.
LikeLike
I had posted about this a year ago about a 23 year old acting student I was gaming blabbing on about how she’d just broken up with her bf.
I replied: “I know what it’s like”.
2 weeks later I banged her. The posters had suggested I was being too beta.
But the point of this isn’t to be her bitch, or to be her listening post. It’s to acknowledge and then reframe around something else.
She doesn’t want you to think you’re pitying her….that’s not attractice.
LikeLike
OT: For shits and giggles; someone came up with a Hillary campain logo generator. 8chan’s been having fun with it:
http://8ch.net/b/res/3151499
Warning: Some pics NSFW
LikeLike
404 Not Found will never capture the electorate’s imagination.
:duckface
LikeLike
Why? Because women don’t want answers to their problems; they want wagon circling sympathy feels.
OMG – she will get raging angry if you try and offer any solutions. CH advice is great. Another way to handle it is just listen, boo the villains (really? That bitch) and cheer the heroes.
Just let this cloud of emotion pass by, just like a thunderstorm on a bright day will rage and all will be will in 20 minutes.
A woman’s brain is a mob of confusion – this kind of downpour is necessary to clear the mind. They are often ripe for a “c’mere” and pull into sex after these episodes. An O is icing on the cake for her, reset button indeed.
WTTW though – if YOU are the subject of one of these episodes – disregard. “You done” works well in that case.
LikeLike
Boo the villains, cheer the heroes – can’t remember where I last saw that, but it was indeed a great Cliff’s Note for me. Easy to remember too.
“A woman’s brain is a mob of confusion” Totally agree there too since I have a young daughter. One second laughing, one second balling her eyes out of the slightest infraction (or simply because she’s tired). You see this and think your kid has a split personality. lol.
[CH: the emotions of childhood are passionate and compartmentalized. the emotions of adolescence just as passionate but more interwoven. eventually it ends in everything muted and gauzy, serene but sad.]
LikeLike
I have a 48 year old – not much different tbh
LikeLike
^Poetry, CH.
LikeLike
Adjectives are not poetry.
LikeLike
“A woman’s brain is a mob of confusion – this kind of downpour is necessary to clear the mind. They are often ripe for a “c’mere” and pull into sex after these episodes. An O is icing on the cake for her, reset button indeed.”
Yup….she needs someone to fuck the bitch out of her.
LikeLike
“often ripe for a “c’mere” and pull into sex after these episodes.”
a lot of truth in this.
just pulling her in close, holding her, kissing her softly does wonders. and it’s a whole lot easier than trying to think of something to say.
LikeLike
“They are often ripe for a “c’mere” and pull into sex after these episodes.”
for sure.
last week we’re out. she has too much to drink, emotion cloud rolls in. i take her to the car. same old crap. my mom this, blah that. she’s crying. I let it go on for 10 minutes just saying “uh huh”, which seems like 2 hours. finally I say, “fuck your mom. she ‘s a cunt. we’re done with her” and I take out my cock.
she sucks it with tears streaming down her face. my first crying bj. it was great. as memorable as my first funeral cemetery bj.
she is in love with her rollercoaster of emotions. there’s fun to be had on the ride.
“Boo the villains, cheer the heroes”
bingo. acting like a woman leads to lots of action. they are in love with only themselves and when they see behavior they recognize they get turned on
LikeLike
@Sentient all women are emotional. But if she’s constantly misinterpreting feelings for facts…you have a problem.
Now that I’ve got a little rotation I have a lot more perspective on this. The girls that I’m banging have fairly stable emotions and they’re careful NOT to involve me in them.
The girls that do try to make me their bitch or their agony aunt normally find it’s the first step to splitsville.
It’s a kind of quagmire….you push back…they go nuts….you start to sympathize…they want more…it’s a bottomless pit.
LikeLike
The difference between the two is that they’ll come back if you refuse to put up with their bullshit, or perhaps never leave in the first place.
LikeLike
“OMG – she will get raging angry if you try and offer any solutions. “
“It’s not about the nail!!”
LikeLike
Couldn’t be more on target. I had an ex that dealt with a major personal tragedy that left her a weeping pile of agony for months. I turned beta AF during that time, trying mightily to help her fix the gaping hole left in her heart. Her pain genuinely made me hurt inside.
One day, before we broke apart but well after the break was inevitable, we were talking about the trauma and I expressed my frustration that every time she talks about it a try my hardest to help her feel better to no avail. She turned to me and said “all I want you to say is ‘that sucks’”.
That my misstep and the right way to handle that situation is so accurately explained in this font of wisdom is unsurprising.
LikeLike
I had an ex admit the same thing. They do have their occasional moments of lucidity.
LikeLike
It’s the most irrational part of a woman. When she has a ‘problem’ (used loosely) she does not want solutions. What she wants above all is agreement, validation of her interpretation of events, consensus that she is in the right and the purported villain is indeed in the wrong.
It’s how women’s social circles work too. It’s why after you have a bust up with your woman you will never ever see one of her friends publicly admit that your woman was in the wrong rather than you. Because breaching the official party line is an offence carrying the ultimate female sanction: ostracism.
LikeLike
Bold and reflective listening
LikeLike
Hold her, just hold her. And keep your mouth shut save for affirmative grunts. Then gird your loins for vesuvian eruption.
LikeLike
Hold her, just hold her.
yep
LikeLike
[…] Consolation Game […]
LikeLike
some thoughts on Game… Attraction – Comfort – Rapport…
Thinking of this after a failed pick up… Game is like driving a sports car…
Attraction = Gas – acceleration, excitement, purpose, driving!
Comfort = Brake – security, safety, slowing things down, trust
Rapport – Clutch – synching moods and changing moods (downshift!), smooth ride.
Think about how you drive a nice sports car really well, fluidly hitting the gas, downshifting, accelerating, breaking in the corner…
and then think about how you fuck up driving a nice sports car. Hit the gas to hard, jerky acceleration, mash the break, let out the clutch wrong and sputter or miss a shift.. herky jerky…
It’s there – the right combination. smooth… fluid… carving the turns…
You can feel it when it’s not!
LikeLike
Great analogy and way to break each component down. And above all else, no matter what, you’re in the driver’s seat!
Good stuff!
LikeLike
See the betas watching from the sidelines! Sure, the alpha wrecked, but his hands were all over that bitch before the crash.
LikeLike
Better to have driven and crashed than never to have driven at all
LikeLike
Comfort? Wut?
LikeLike
Go away virgin .
LikeLike
Make up whatever tales you want about me and run with them. This is the consequence-free internet, after all.
But, dude, at least I didn’t have to learn how to flirt from a manual. The reliance on jargon is the dork tell. It’s readymade wisdom for the inarticulate, or sound-bite sophistry.
LikeLike
You’re wrong and a virgin. And possibly a fag as well.
LikeLike
Seems that more men have lonely souls, since the suicide rate for men is usually higher in most countries, I some years ago read that Countries like China were among the few were females did it more.
LikeLike
How about you ask her with a bored look on your face “You looking for a solution to your problem, or just want to cry it out?”. Then when she says cry, you pat her on the head (as you might do a dog that you don’t particularly like) and go “there there” while you keep reading your paper or whatever.
LikeLike
Getting warmer. W a r m e r …
LikeLike
Related, I saw a guy on the subway yesterday tenderly put his arm around his girlfriend while she was babbling cocksurely about something indubitably important. Today, saw a couple walking and the young man kissed the top of her head. In neither case did the girl’s body language show any reciprocation or gratitude.
What’s significant is that both men struck me as alpha at first glance.
The girl wants to feel your power and charm first, affection distant third.
LikeLike
Big beta tell: the man/boyfriend takes the inside seat on the Metro or in a restaurant booth. That was the case with the subway couple.
LikeLike
Oh yeah, that’s a fag move for sure.
LikeLike
“The girl wants to feel your power and charm first, affection distant third.”
A+
LikeLike
What if self-pitying princess turns to screaming nightmare blaming everyone (including you) for her problems and not understanding her ridiculous paranoia?
LikeLike
She will start menstrual flow in about 48 hours.
LikeLike
Still enough time to cause permanent hearing damage.
LikeLike
that’s seksist! and true
LikeLike
@pithom It’s important in these situations to remain cool. Let her finish. Then leave. Then depending on the circumstances either never speak to her again or wait a few weeks until she reaches out…and take it from there.
LikeLike
“It’s right for you to feel bad.” Or, “You have every right to feel that way” has always aided me. Silence for a spell, then all doe-eyed after that.
LikeLike
Or : “She’s really not your friend, is she?”.
LikeLike
You don’t placate emotions wild and alive with reason.
I understand is a good reboot. I am a fan of the wordless venue change as well. Grab their wrist and at the most say let me show you something. They will build their own story of why it’s important and let them.
It’s also a good check to see if you are a shoulder to cry on or are they trying to emotionally purify themselves for the glory of your illusion.
LikeLike
I don’t know about this. I have seen women not get their way and become reduced to a fit of hysterics and sobbing in public and the surprising thing is that people come to their aid, perhaps that is why they do it. If a man did something similarly, he would be shunned. There is an inherent danger in a sobbing woman, people instinctively seek to protect her. I wonder if many times, men appear apprehensive around these women in order to not provoke the mob.
LikeLike
Sometimes standing there with a smirk on your face while the knights marshal to save her is the best option.
LikeLike
yes, but I would beware the mob, it has a distinctly more courageous and vengeful character than any of its individual constituents.
LikeLike
“people come to their aid, perhaps that is why they do it.”
that’s exactly why they do it.
same thing with the girls who are always posting on social media about being sick, having a bad day, or how hard things are for them. they do it because there will always be schmucks around who will join in on the pity party and try to make it all better.
the trick is to identify whether it’s just an occasional thing that only happens when she is actually going through a legitimately difficult time or if it’s something she does consistently…even when things aren’t all that bad.
some girls just have really bad coping skills so everything feels like a crisis to them and others like playing the martyr/victim game and getting lots of attention. girls that fall into either category are bad news.
you don’t want a girl who can’t handle the everyday ups and downs of daily life or a sad sally who needs constant support and attention just so she can function. once you see patterns in a girl’s behavior that indicate she falls into either of those categories, it’s best to ditch them, move on, and save yourself a world of grief.
LikeLike
Yep. And again betas get sucked into having those people as gfs/wives b/c they see problems they think they can fix.
LikeLike
My wife called me yesterday to tell me her concerns about an issue. I finally said to her ” just text me” she said why? I said it less stressful not having to hear the worry and fear in her voice. She stopped.
I used to fall into her pity party so easily.
LikeLike
you don’t want a girl who can’t handle the everyday ups and downs of daily life or a sad sally who needs constant support and attention just so she can function.
Very true. Girls like that can deflate almost any man’s confidence. And even if you’re centered enough to handle the drama, why would you want to?
Yep. And again betas get sucked into having those people as gfs/wives b/c they see problems they think they can fix.
Or they just don’t have the balls to walk away when they see red flags.
LikeLike
@88 great post.
LikeLike
I have seen women not get their way and become reduced to a fit of hysterics and sobbing in public and…
Please restrict your observations to white women. Sassy sheboons (and their imitators) are a different animal.
LikeLike
“I understand” is otherwise called Charlie Harper game
LikeLike
Great episode.
LikeLike
Have you ever seen the Magnolia scene with Tom Cruise and the dead cat….
LikeLike
Chazz Reinhold Game.
Cool.
LikeLike
LikeLike
B-b-b-b-b-b-but s-s-lavery! And J-j-j-im Crow! And D-d-dwed scott! (SOB) WHY YOU SO RACISS, FBI?
LikeLike
If you’ve been around a girl bitch about the same thing to two different people, doing the same thing, you realize…they don’t want a solution. They want someone to tell them the person they bitching about is awful.
LikeLike
I like the Blade Runner reference, too.
You’re on a roll, Heartiste.
LikeLike
One thing that’s worked for me is just saying nothing until she gets all the tears out, then asking her if she’s done feeling sorry for herself.
LikeLike
Just came across a 10 at the HP. An old man had her pinned down in her chair. She finally came out with her mom. I tried get up and approach but the same 70 year old man was filibustering in my face. All the tell tail signs were there.
LikeLike
LikeLike
LikeLike
As de Gaulle once said to calm down a riot, “Je vous ai compris” (h/t Robert Greene).
Where betas trip up is in trying to actually solve her faux problems (after all, that’s what betas do – solve problems).
http://dilbert.com/strip/1996-07-17
LikeLike
Grief is nature’s most powerful aphrodisiac.
LikeLike
Dead right.
LikeLike
Existential dread is the best dread.
LikeLike
At my HP yesterday i asked a couple of nasty, white 3-4’s if they had a charger. They were simply obnoxious while they pigged out on their fast food and made comments about which men they would do. Asked a young Persian gal for a charger and she looked in her purse and then said she might have one in her car. She went out to her car. Feminine, no visible flaws, compliant. I am noticing a vast difference in Arabic and Persian women.
LikeLike
them pigs ran into the groucho marx club membership problem, didn’t they?
LikeLike
Just now had the Persian walk by. She stopped and smiled. I put out my hand and thanked her for trying to help me out. Asked her what she was studying…..she said the MCAT (sp) for Doctor….taking it tomorrow.
..
LikeLike
Might ask for her number…
LikeLike
Got it! She had guys on both sides of her. I sat down in front of her while all the guys around watched. Said I would buy her drink if she passes. Said is this how you spell your name? then handed her the phone. She said no then typed it in correctly and placed her number in it. Sent a text saying i expect to hear good news.
LikeLike
I would have said that I would share some of my special homemade sangria with her if she passes. (I keep sangria in my truck. Ladies like to visit my truck!)
LikeLike
Congrats Putin, seems like quality girl, nice move with the number when you put name in and let her correct. But asking landwhale for a charger reeks of fat shaming sexist oppressive behavior
LikeLike
Are you concerned about developing a reputation for hitting on all the girls in your coffee shop?
LikeLike
Yes. I tip the baristas so am ok with them. My place has many who come for more than coffee. I gave an example of a review. With that said there is a group of older african americans who are openly white knighting me and think i have bad intentions. Saw it in action recently.
LikeLike
Also have some contacts there so have sat with women and men at the place to help prevent a stalk vibe. But yes it is a concern.
LikeLike
With that said there is a group of older african americans who are openly white knighting me and think i have bad intentions. Saw it in action recently.
Snort. What happened?
LikeLike
Still laughing that you talk about “passing” the frickin’ MCAT exam.
And she is a stupid idiot for drinking coffee the day before the exam. What, she going to pound some coffee the day of the test and then have to be distracted during the 6 hour exam by having to pee? Shrinking the blood vessels in her brain when she most needs them?
Or is she going to go cold turkey off the caffeine and fight through a caffeine withdrawal headache during that test?
Then again, I saw fools studying for that exam the morning of and during the lunch break, so I guess……
LikeLike
“What happened”-
One guy said i am going to kill you white person…..
Nah just some stupid stuff. Guy tries to talk to women(6-7), she gives him a cold response and moves to table next to me. Then she leaves and another women about 35 sits down wearing a revealing dress. I approach while she is on her phone. She smiles like the mouth of Sauron and then won’t give name. Ends up saying it is a stranger into the phone as I walk away. The the black guy is all over it with her about the stranger…
LikeLike
She smiles like the mouth of Sauron and then won’t give name. Ends up saying it is a stranger into the phone as I walk away. The the black guy is all over it with her about the stranger…
Well, I’m sure he got laid shortly after that, because swooping in to defend her honor always works.
LikeLike
JCclimber, is everything alright or you just had a bad day?
LikeLike
Classic
LikeLike
I’ve said this as I hold a woman: “Go ahead and cry, It’s all right. There, there.”
LikeLike
The key is to become the guy with “no judgment.” If you are cool with whatever a girl says (at least on the outside) and get put into a category where a girl feels you will not judge her, the amount of things you hear and learn will amaze you. It also is liberating for her, and is a different way of listening, you’re just that, listening and not judging. You also become that “no judgment” guy with her sexual fantasies, etc.
And for the fuckboys who don’t get the difference between this and emotional tampon beta listening (which is always judging, fixing, trying to impress), stick to basic game theory awhile longer.
LikeLike
“ If you are cool with whatever a girl says (at least on the outside) and get put into a category where a girl feels you will not judge her, the amount of things you hear and learn will amaze you.”
This! This on steroids!
After coming to this site (though some others like Rollo and Dalrock and Vox D get some credit too) and adapting my behavior, I’ve been completely amazed by what some women divulge to me. In both the aspect of (a) what they have been involved in and what they are willing to spontaneously share about it–virtually no prompting from me–and (b) how it confirms the XVI Commandments.
LikeLike
Post in mod about rare 10 sighting, could not break free because 70 year old man at my table was filibustering again
LikeLike
Twice now?
LikeLike
Yes, same guy
LikeLike
I really like Blade Runner riffs… well-done, CH.
LikeLike
Allusions need more Star, both Trek and Wars.
LikeLike
Dammit, Jim! I’m a physician… not a magician!
LikeLike
Dammit, J-i-m… I’m a physician… not a magician!
LikeLike
I always ask if she wants me to get my junk out
LikeLike
Depends. Does she have a microscope?
LikeLike
I wish I had your dazzling and original wit, all I can manage is sarcasm.
LikeLike
Let me break out my microscope to see if I can find your sarcasm. Oh there it is! I’m so hurt!
LikeLike
Genius
LikeLike
Calm down ASD, calm down, he’s merely asking her if she’d like a turn round the bay in his vintage Chinese sailboat.
LikeLike
Chinese junk. Not comparable in size with a man-o-war.
LikeLike
For some reason I couldn’t help myself but when my last ff would really starting whining and crying about shit I would have this involuntary reaction where I would start laughing. When a woman cries for whatever inane reason I just find it fucking absurd and hilarious.
There were a few times maybe 2 out of 10 where I felt like she was really hurt so I just wrapped her up like a little animal and stroked her for a bit.
Kind of tedious really.
LikeLike
Gf*
LikeLike
Whorefinder’s consolation game:
“there there”
*hands handkerchief*
“Thank you…..wait, what’s this weird smell on your handkerchief? Cologne?”
“no…it’s chloroform”
(fade to black)
(literally…for her)
rape!
LikeLike
*niagra falls* tears from her eyes, “I understand”. *old faithful* gusher from between her legs……
LikeLike
So one part validation mixed with two parts emotional indifference?
LikeLike
“they want wagon circling sympathy feels”
Fucking A. So true.
These fucking creatures man.
LikeLike
“When women vent, something they do with alacrity and disinhibition, men of all kinds are frequently and amusingly caught off-guard… what one often observes is the man frantically trying to “lift up” his inconsolable girl, or worse, trying to solve her issue”
I guess if we’re honest, we have all been guilty of this at one point or other and to one degree or another. I know I have. I don’t think we should be that surprised or hard on ourselves. After all, as Men, we are by nature problem solvers. I think, as CH says, it’s a more a case of being caught off-guard.
It’s amazing how game always seems to boil down to – doing exactly the opposite of what the world is telling you you should be doing. (In fact if I had to describe Game to Kevin from the window of a passing train, I think that is what I would shout)
This is the sort of Chateau post I love. Short, sharp, actionable insights that instantly resonate loud and true. Cheers H. Another weapon safely locked away in the upstairs gun cabinet.
LikeLike
LikeLike
I usually just nod my head and pretend to listen.
LikeLike
I put tingles in a six foot, smoking hot – but a little ridden – Manhattanite blond tonight by telling everyone at the table that Jon Stewart is a false idol unworthy of Pavlovian bell-ring adulation. Savvy chick she was, she perceived some serious crimethink behind the statement – “So is racism a problem in this country or not?” – to which I: “Don’t presume to bait me.”
Later, she defended our little detente against my friends, more thoughtless anti-racists, who actually talked me down by thinking she was more offended than she was. In fact she was into it, and wanted to know more. If her friend, a homely librarian, hadn’t actually burst into TEARS at all the BADFEELZ going around, there would’ve been a close as she’s returning to Manhattan tomorrow.
Game can do anything man. Hell, just being a self-possessed, intelligent fucking WHITE MAN is all it takes.
LikeLike
The homely librarian’s over reaction was a classic spoiler tactic… Them were Cockblocking tears.
LikeLike
Great stuff. The advantage is almost unfair.
LikeLike
Me, I would’ve red-lined the bell-ring and then green-lighted it hitting the shelves.
/jes’ playin’, bro… well-done.
LikeLike
It’s true, the less words the better. “I understand” is good. Hormones. They will pass.
LikeLike
A woman needs a hug the most when you’re least inclined to give one 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
LikeLike
LOL Exactly 🙂
LikeLike
a hugus post-coitus?
I know a few who instead of a hug ask for more, other feel valnurable having surrender herselves entirely to the enemy
That hug it is not that much about affection as it is about pacifying venquor while you recover your faculties and strength
The more of a stranger man is more valnurable you feelThat is why promiscuous women are often damaged beyond repair
On a different level it can be compared to person undergoing open heart surgery
Those who did say that they experinced ultimute vulnerability after which they never felt the same
Usually they need more hugs, much more
LikeLike
NO! A hug when the woman is acting like a stark, raving, lunatic! You don’t want to go anywhere near her, but the hug is exactly what is needed to stop the trip to Bitchburgh.
LikeLike
but how are you going to administer a hug when you do not want to go nowhere near her?
how about a slap,that has been proven to work through history, as matter of fact city of Bitchburg is a recent construction, though rapidly growing one
LikeLike
Put on a hard hat 🙂
LikeLike
Kate, darlin’, your advice helped me recently.
LikeLike
That’s wonderful!!! 🙂 Just call me the Wife Whisperer 🙂
LikeLike
I was hit Sat. nite with yet another of the incessant loyalty tests (YAOTILT) because I didn’t dance the first and last dances with Mrs. Gamer. I still gave her a whooooolottatension. Didn’t matter when I apologized for my peccadillos; loyalty test waterworks ensued. “You don’t care about me” yadayadayada. I left her alone for a bit, then heard her bawling in the bedroom. I went in, lay down next to her and threw an arm over her back. She started to pull away but I didn’t release her; she stopped trying to pull away, then finished her venting. I got up and left.
Next morning she was happy again that she was in love with me.
Whisper to me anytime, Kate. 🙂
LikeLike
I don’t understand this dancing with other people stuff, but if it worked out with everybody happy, okay.
Here’s my attitude about it: https://youtu.be/8_wwP8UZR1o
LikeLike
Off topic: is this ‘circling the wagons’ game? https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090720093146AAlubWm
LikeLike
“protect the prime directive at all costs” game
LikeLike
The gollies can get a tough time round here, however this comment from a Nigerian opinion board displays elements not only of heartistian wisdom, but also its poeticism. #diversity #enrichment
“If they are bold enough to tell that they aren’t virgins, they wld also be quick to tell u they had only done it once….
When u go into the promise land u’ll find out that there isn’t anything promising in the land.
Their orifice would be as wide as a bore hole, the walls of their orifice lacking bearing.
These are the only clues/ yardstick a sharp man uses in knowing if really she did it only once prior to ur being intimate with her.
#Girls.are.evil.and.deceitful”
LikeLike
Fuck no. Braver than me, living as they do at ground-zero for The Virus. Houseboy, fetch me a nice clean goat.
LikeLike
It’s a goddamn disaster that ordinary fucking human relations have decayed to the point where we need to look to ~science~ and personally perform experiments of trial and error just to have barely-functional relationships.
LikeLike
I don’t think you need science or experiments if you just want ordinary or barely functional relationships.
LikeLike
[…] Consolation Game | Chateau Heartiste […]
LikeLike
@JCclimber
Re:coffee
different strokes for different folks, bro, sez 255 on Step 1 USMLE. Cuz sleepy on the exam day due to coffee withdrawal is also not-rad.
LikeLike
I think women get turned off when men express sympathy too much or try to fix their issues because it’s DLVing yourself. She knows her shit is generally trivial and you invest scads of time into it? lol.
LikeLike
Man I love Blade Runner
LikeLike
“Let’s make a list of all the things the world has put you through/
Let’s raise a glass to all the people you’re not speaking to/
I don’t know what else you wanted me to say to you/
Things happen, that’s all they ever do.”
LikeLike
Sounds like something I read on p. 42 of “Conversationally Speaking” by Alan Garner. Very good book. He discusses “Demonstrating Your Acceptance” in active listening situations, meaning saying something like “I understand” rather than “grow the fuck up”.
LikeLike