This week’s reader mailbag features guest therapy by Zeets the Throwback Barbarian and Finefantastic. Their qualifications for advising the lovesick and sex starved are supreme overconfidence and a reservoir of wisdom drawn from their disturbing personal histories. By the way, Finefantastic is a cute girl and a talented artist to boot. She freelances on the side so if you want to hire her for a job painting your cat or whatever, email me for information.
Email #1
Me: 24. Her: 30. She comes in around a 7 or 8.
Got her number a sports league social we are both in.
Date 1: drinks at a bar near her place. Goes well.
Date 2: she arrives at my place already intoxicated. We goto a lounge within walking distance of my pad. Several shittests are presented, which I am satisfactorily passing.Then she drops a bomb I wasn’t expecting… “So what does a young guy like you want with an old ass bitch like me?” I stumbled and had some half-assed beta answer similar to “I like you and wanted to see what you are all about”.
She still spent the night, but was fairly prude.
I quizzed 2 older married male co-workers, one of who I would describe as an alpha. They came up the correct answer being “For sex. I want to fuck you.” being the correct answer.
My thoughts? That can’t be the right answer either. That is just too over the top. Of course that’s the truth, but I can’t imagine any woman continuing to sit there after being told that.
So I come here, hoping maybe even this could be reader mailbag material. What’s the right answer when dating a woman a few years older than you of “What do you want with an old ass bitch like me?”
N.
Zeets:
So we have a woman, only 30 years old, calling herself an “old ass bitch?” This by itself brings up some serious questions. But back to your predicament. When a woman asks a horrid question like that she’s obviously not entirely confident with herself. I don’t answer ridiculous questions, I use a system of touch and eye contact to reassure her and then after a while just bring up a totally different topic, like your time working in Haiti for the peace corps…….all the while you’re still steering her back to your place. And for the love of god, don’t ask for dating advice from married men. Good luck dude!
Finefantastic:
So you need some flash card responses when this inevitably comes up again?
“I don’t know. I’m getting pretty lazy and I thought you might be able to adopt me.”
“I’m in the market for some Bridge tips. My game is weak.”
“There’s this retirement living option in Florida that is really appealing at this point in my life and, what can I say? I need an IN. You play shuffleboard, right?”
Aim for the grandmother analogy as a too close comparison to her age may open a pandora’s box of suckfest. If she’s insecure about her age merely boombast her neuroses with mild humor.
Me:
Your alpha co-worker was right. Cougars preying on younger men aren’t in the mood for polite fictions. No need for romance, sly innuendo, or transparent excuses — just grab the broad, tell her to stop whining, and inform her that her tits would look great in your mouth.
Email #2
Love your blog and glad to see it is getting more and more popular.
I want to pose a question on how to go after girls that are more tom-boyish and athletic. Unfortunately my genes and attraction preferences are not well matched. I prefer very athletic girls who tend to be tall (I’m short) and always date tall, athletic guys they met through the same sports. I’m athletic but uncoordinated, so dominating on the soccer field is not an option. So far my best strategy has been trying to meet these girls by having the same hobbies (outdoorsy stuff mostly) but that doesn’t seem to work terribly well.
I think the issue I’m running into is demonstrating value since they tend to value guys based on physical presence and athletic ability and maybe alpha body language indicators (as far as I can tell). Although I had some beta habits I’ve wiped out the obvious ones and my success rate with girly girls is up but my success with girls that I actually like is unchanged.
I know you favor the girly-girls and softball conjures up images of lesbians for you, so maybe this won’t interest you but I’m curious in general how you alter your game when you know that you are not a girls ‘type’.
Thanks,
A.
Zeets:
Dude, there’s a reason tall, good looking, athletic women are not interested in you and that’s because they want to have tall, good looking, athletic kids. You don’t have those genes. So stop torturing yourself. Of note, you’re not a good athlete if you have no coordination, and here in America “soccer” is for guys that couldn’t excel at football, baseball, and basketball. My advice……women universally are most attracted to height, so if I was you I would go for athletic women of short stature, like a gymnast! Now does that sound so bad? I’m a tall guy and I would love one of those compact, little brick shit-houses myself : )
And one last point dude: the women you describe are attracted to athletes, not guys that play in goofy co-ed sports like kickball. You are not demonstrating any value by playing sports with women. I know I sound old school, but real men like myself play sports for one main reason….TO COMPETE. I want to challenge myself against other men and WIN. Sure, some camaraderie is nice, but that’s not what playing ball is about.
Finefantastic:
Type is overrated. If you suck at softball you will just be laughed at as you are shuttled to the hospital after multiple line drives to the face. The good thing, in your case, is that most athletes are incredibly boring people. They train all day and eat clean and offer nothing in the way of conversation save for a few opinions about carb loading. Witticisms and sly retorts will fire their loins for the sole reason that it is so foreign to them, like eating Ethiopian food or genocide. A little self-deprecation and a dash of performance art and read a book or something. Next!
Me:
You don’t need to compete with a woman on her playing field in order to demonstrate value. If you date a WNBA playerette you’re only going to hurt your cause if you try to beat her at a game of HORSE. I once dated a tomboy — she was a collegiately ranked soccer player — and I had no trouble maintaining my alpha aura with her despite not once kicking a soccer ball in her presence. She used to run 5 miles every morning, and I ran… to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. Dude, fact is, most tomboys are intrigued by guys who bring something novel to the table, like artistic talent or a double-headed dong. You can be totally anti-sports and as long as you give off a devil-may-care confident vibe she won’t give a shit that you aren’t an athlete like her. Do your endzone dance in the bed.
Email #3
Thought I’d give you a shout for the mailbag. It’s something that’s been getting to me and it’s hard to bring this up with other blokes.
It’s this : if I don’t know a girl very well and we start getting hot – say, within the first 5 meetings – I can’t get hard.
We were kissing, groping, doing our thing and I was trying my best to get hard but I just couldn’t.
Have never had these problems with girls I have known or dated for a long time.
It came to a head on Saturday night with a naked woman on top of me, and my excuse was “holy shit I forgot to buy condoms” which worked a treat but the fact is, I wanted to fuck this woman and fuck her good, not make excuses.
She’s been peppering me with messages the past couple of days as she obviously wants to fuck – who could blame her – but my confidence in my own dick is holding me back. Is this just me? Or does this happen to the best?
I’m 22, by the way.
M.
Zeets:
You’ve come to the right place, M, as we here have also been 22…..once. I will list my advice by number, in order of importance:
1. Its Mental. You’re 22 and presumably healthy and probably don’t know what you’re doing. Clear your head, and forget your last “at bat.” It’s history. Its very important to not go into a negative tailspin. Being with a new girl is exciting, and can be a bit nervewracking, but you have to learn to relax and not be tense. Remember what it was like with your old girlfriend, sort of automatic right? Because your mind was totally clear of any bullshit. Lose yourself in the moment.
2. Be spontaneous. Try sparking it up during the daytime, somewhere other than the bedroom at 3:00 AM when your body and mind are tired.
3. Try having a few drinks to calm the ol’ nerves. Not too much though, you dumb Irishman!
4. Hey just think of what my old buddy used to say “If my dick was bigger and I didn’t cum so fast, I’d be a pornstar!”
Finefantastic:
It seems like it’s a you vs. dick scenario, try to develop a more amicable exchange. Think of your flaccid dick as Cringer, who becomes the fearless Battle Cat when summoned by the power of Grayskull. To borrow from Wikipedia, Cringer “becomes Battle Cat, he grows to about twice his size, and is outfitted in red armor that covers his head, and back, with a saddle mounted on it for riding. As Battle Cat, he is fearless, and powerful. His voice changes significantly, and he talks with a growl, as opposed to his whimpering voice that is heard when he is Cringer. Cringer generally dislikes becoming Battle Cat, but he goes along with it anyway”. Stop thinking so much. Maybe focus less on your dick and go down on her for a while and things may arise naturally. That’s it, I got nothing else.
Me:
I’ve never had your problem when I was sober and the girl was attractive. The closest I’ve come to experiencing performance issues, and I don’t blame myself for that because she was a 5 in addition to smelling like shit pebbles. Jesus, dude, at 22 it was all I could do not to spring wood at the slightest provocation. Were you drunk on your first night with her? Don’t underestimate the deleterious effect of alcohol on your plumbing, especially the effects of hard shit like tequila. Was she unattractive and you just can’t bring yourself to admit it? A lot of guys get so horny that they think just seeing a labia no matter what woman it’s attached to will be enough to turn them on, but the truth is that an unattractive face will totally negate an attractive vulva.
However, I will sympathize that sometimes sex can go poorly with a new girl. In general I’ve found that the sex really starts to rock around the two month mark, when you’ve both become accustomed to each other’s bodies and favorite positions and she trusts you enough to acquiesce to your deviant perverted fantasies. Right now you’re in a bad headspace, worrying about your dick before clothes are even off. You’re psyching yourself out and giving yourself the Chuck Knoblauch yips. Our dicks may have a mind of their own, but they ultimately answer to the big brain upstairs, so a strong pulse of negative thinking can shut down your boner fast. The only way to end this negative feedback loop is to get out of your head, and the way to do that is simple: NOVELTY. Take a hike with her in the woods, get lost on purpose, and then slam her against a tree, pull down her shorts, and start sucking her clit. Don’t fuck her yet. Tell her to go down on you and then admire her head bobbing forward and backward as she sucks you off. Man, if that doesn’t work you may need to fuck her with my dick. It’s not right to leave a woman unsatisfied that long.
good stuff. keep the mailbag going as a weekly addition.
Zeets should take over this blog.
Zeets is awesome.
Zeets:
I know I sound old school, but real men like myself–
I’m just dying to know what’s supposed to make you a “real man.”
Hey, great stuff on #1 and #2, but for #3 there’s a better way! Telling people to forget about something and clear their mind will only make them think about it more.
The better answer? porn! Before going out, while you’re shaving, delousing, whatever, get some good clean alpha-on-9+ fucking on your laptop. carry it around. Shake your blood up a little. The extra testosterone should help your game, too – she’ll notice. I used to do this with a girl who used to come super quick the first time and need a break, whereas I am more of a marathon man. Evened up the playing field a bit, you know?
PS. You can whip it out, just don’t stain the table cloth yet.
I don’t know if you read Penny Arcade but today’s comic is somewhat o/t with letter #1.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/8/29/
Email #2
How short are you? I’m 5’9″ and do a pretty good job attracting tall girls. Do you have a small frame in addition to being short?
hahaha! awesome post. please bring Zeets and FF back more often.
Oh, s**t, now B-list celebrities are going Paul “Day Game” Janka on us and running the table. Game’s days are numbered.
http://www.tmz.com/2008/08/29/earth-girls-are-easy-if-youre-jeff-goldblum/
Email 3: psychogenic ED
First, if it ever gets completely hard (even when sleeping), there’s nothing physically wrong.
Second, the more you try to get hard, the less successful you will be. It’s all chemical: nitric oxide makes it start, and PDE-5, along with epinephrine (adrenaline) makes it go away. The more you try, the more epinephrine you produce, the less likely the wood. Symptoms are: feeling clammy, rapid heart beat, flushed face, rapid ejaculation even without even becoming hard.
Pure sexual arousal in the brain sends signals to the nerve endings in the muscle sinuses of the penis, where the nitric oxide is released. When the brain arousal is in combat with thoughts of performance anxiety, not much NO gets made, and the extra epinephrine (produced when nervous) wipes out the effect of what little NO there is.
The reason it doesn’t happen with familiar women is that you know their opinion of you is not going to change based on a failure, or else they’re so skanky you don’t care, so the thought never occurs. It’s a catch-22 for the alpha’s who say it has never happened to them: they have no experience that would induce worry. But if it ever does happen to them, the seed will be planted.
What to do? It seems well-intentioned to say “go down on her in the woods, or let her suck you off ’til you’re hard”, but that’s because the guy giving the advice hasn’t had the problem, and doesn’t realize that if the purpose of doing those things is erection, your mind won’t be able to ignore that. Instead, fight chemicals with chemicals. PDE-5 inhibitors (Viagra, Levitra, Cialis) inactivate the chemical that destroys NO, allowing it to build up to an effective level, even if the worry is limiting the rate of production. I think Cialis is best for the player, because fatty food and drink doesn’t interfere with it, and because it can be taken at a non-sexual time, reducing the focus that you need it to survive, yet still be effective 36 hours later. If you’re going out frequently, small doses can be taken every day, like sex vitamins, and you’ll always be ready. Once you’ve confirmed that it works, your confidence will soar. Success breeds success.
When you find Miss RIght (if you want to), eventually you won’t need it.
DISCLAIMER: this is not medical advice. I’m just blogging.
The better answer? porn! Before going out, while you’re shaving, delousing, whatever
As long as she isn’t shaving.
I’m Dr. Grzlickson and I approve the preceding message.
#2 can immediately become more dominant in their presence just by changing his clothes. Athlete chicks respond to power and hierarchy signals, so wear a well cut suit and bold (not goofy) tie.
SAM I know you will eventually chime into this thread.
Question:
1) In your Haitian Sensation (TM) what would prevent a US court from simply declaring any Haitin judgment null and void.
2) You didn’t account for the scenario when there are children.
3) Are you a lawyer or blowing speculative smoke rings?
Oh and as far as the thread is concerned:
To the short guy:
You started this with a belief that women’s selection bias can be overcome by fitting more closely into that selection bias via game. Why should tall chicks be any different.
Erection dude: Smoke some horny goat weed before sex and you should be good to go.
Email #1
Because you’re hot.
Let the air hang silent after ‘hot’. Like a salesmen asking for a close, state your case/deal and then shut the fuck up.
Email #2
Come to understand the phrase “it is what it is”. You don’t have the athletic cock they are most likely looking for.
Email #3
Wow, ED at 22?!?!?! That’s gotta suck… I’m 33 and I get hard just smelling my bitch’s perfume as she enters the room. Sux2bu?
I would advise watching more porn. Seriously…
On email #2
Thing is, “it is what it is” doesn’t help men like DA and me at all. Just because I’m a depressed Israeli terror survivor with physical health issues doesn’t mean I want to get with chicks physically and culturally exactly like me–fat pale Jewish girls with scars, via the Internet. Yet that’s what I’ve been doing.
I live in a beach town with hot blonde athletic chicks. Sometimes I think God (or whomever) is mocking me, since I have no money “externals” to speak of, but speak 4 languages. In other words, ultimate nerd. So I have to keep a certain nobility of spirit and steadiness of mind, because that’s what I do have.
Moving from that to “non-neediness” and “game” is the challenge.
Take a hike with her in the woods, get lost on purpose, and then slam her against a tree, pull down her shorts, and start sucking her clit.
Where I come from, we call that sexual assault. In other places, it’s called rape.
Wow, ED at 22?!?!?!
When I was banging the older woman, I had difficulty in reaching orgasm and erections too.
About everyone saying #2 to “give up”, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Mr. Game Extraordinaire Neil Strauss about 5″6″? Obviously, I’m not saying that this reader has a chance of reaching 1/10 of Strauss’ level of game, but telling a short dude to give up is, you know, kinda antithetical to the entire fucking message of this blog.
Most girls say they would never want a guy shorter than them. I’ve seen enough counter-examples, however, to believe it can be done. You just have to stand out as more talented in some way.
Everyone is focusing on the fact that #2 is short. He describes himself as uncoordinated. I think it is the combination of both issues taken together. He can’t change the fact that he’s short – maybe with practice he could become more coordinated. I really think that for the women he is pursuing, being uncoordinated is the bigger offense. Otherwise I don’t think game is going to help here.
Zeets nailed it, “Dude, there’s a reason tall, good looking, athletic women are not interested in you and that’s because they want to have tall, good looking, athletic kids.”
The athletic chicks don’t want to date #2 for the same reason he doesn’t want to date his female equivalent.
If you asked women if they were into guys who are jobless, or criminal, or habitual cheaters or pathological liars, they would say no. They have hard-wired mechanisms in their brain to avoid these kinds of people. And yet lots of attractive women end up with guys with some or all of those traits. Yes, women are hardwired to like tall men. But it’s obvious that hardwired preferences can be overcome. LauraByNight and has once again offered bad advice, as has other ‘give it up’-ers.
So 30 year olds are now cougars? Christ. I actually think the fucking response was good. I’m guessing she’s not into getting into a relationship with a 24 year old and given that she showed up to the second date drunk, that she has the same thing in mind.
31 Sara I:
My daughter is a nerd
How old is she? Is she hot?
33 Sara I:
No, no, you got me all wrong. I just wanted to play scrabble with her.
From experience, e-mailer #2 should know that around 20-30 percent of taller women will do the short guy thing. You just have to find the types with the attitude like “no one is gonna tell me who I can and can’t date.”
The odds get better, obviously, when tall women hit around 35, and up it even further if you wanna go the sex buddy route (since you don’t have to appear in public together).
And here is something even weirder: I’ve found women who are moderately tall (5’7″-5’8″) are more averse to dating short guys than women who are taller then most men (5’10″ and up), who seem to have an “I give up!” attitude when it comes to finding anyone taller who will look at them.
The trick is to define yourself outside the realm of the pre-conditioned prejudice, so you can have the women say “Well, I don’t consider YOU short,” much as they’ll say to a well-spoken black man “I don’t think of race when it comes to YOU.”
This is a tough road, though, because unlike most other prejudices, this one is condoned by all facets of society — men, women, media, your folks, etc.
Fun format, and here’s hoping Zeets and Finefantastic will continue making appearances.
#2 — Have you considered forgetting your particular physical-type demands and simply responding to girls who you get along with? Height, hair color, boob size, whatever be damned? Your strategy of working from the outside in (she must first be a tall tomboy, and after that maybe we’ll see if we can get along) is dooming you to a lot of frustration. If you instead start to focus on girls you get along with and share a spark with, you’ll have tons of nice experiences. And who knows, if you amble along enjoying sex and relationships with girls whose company you enjoy, you may one day find yourself enjoying the company of a tall tomboy. Hey, that’s how I conducted my single years, and I finally wound up with a six footer. (I’m five nine.) Never intended to, but there she is, with me. Fun!
#3 — Here’s a never-fail, super-easy solution to your problem. Do not get into a clinch, let alone a naked one, UNTIL YOUR DICK IS ALREADY HARD.
Sorry for yelling, but it’s so fucking obvious I’m amazed I’m not rich yet from handing out this advice.
Look: Young guys have a completely stoopid tendency to push their way into situations where they think they ought to be and then discover that … Well, Mr. Happy isn’t cooperating. Everything’s right, everything’s perfect, everything’s hot — but Mr. Happy isn’t so happy.
When that happens (and if you have nothing medically wrong with you) it’s simply a sign that you’re going about things wrong. You’re letting your willpower outdistance your dick’s enthusiasm.
Solution: Take it easier. Don’t make the next move until the dick is already cooperating. And above all don’t get mad at Mr. Happy for not doing what you think he ought to be doing. He’s trying to communicate with you. He’s saying, “Hey, you may think the moment is hot but me, I’m feeling a little left out of the equation.”
So start taking him into the equation. Pause. Ease up. Enjoy the moment and the girl. Listen to Mr. Happy. You might think of enjoying a few whispers, or light hand-touches, or the press of your thigh lightly against hers. There are hours and hours of fun slightly-sexy things that you can do with a girl. Each and every one is enjoyable in its own right.
As you ease up, sink into the moment, and allow Mr. Happy to find his own way — ie., once you stop bossing him around — Mr. Happy will almost certainly come alive. He’ll start to feel included in the moment.
And at that moment you can move to the next stage. Or not! I mean, why rush? Why not linger on some kissing, or maybe a little more fond touching? It’s quite amazing how much steam you can build up if you’re willing to take the time and open to the moment.
(Don’t let this get around, but creating these circumstances, playing with the girl and the moment, entering into the texture of what is, having mischievous fun there, sinking your enthusiasm and instincts into a girl and fondling her inner emotional/physical buttons … Well, it can all be a lot more rewarding and transporting than focusing on your own dick-pleasure. You’re helping create feelings in her that you then get to experience, only amplified. Your dick will be hard — but the hardness of your dick will be only a small part of an enormous Greater Arousal.)
In any case: Listen to your dick. Don’t dictate to him and then feel shocked that he doesn’t want to play along. Take your cue from him. Once you do, problem solved.
Next!
How to get what you want. Cynics stay away.
http://mindmovies.com/vid1/?10304
Nothing to buy!
@37 Sara (former bitch, former goddess)
Or Read:
“Influence: The psychology of persuasion” by Robert Cialdini
@14 Milton Freedman
SAM I know you will eventually chime into this thread.
Question:
1) In your Haitian Sensation (TM) what would prevent a US court from simply declaring any Haitin judgment null and void.
Answer:
Same reason why they US is forced to acknowledge the validity of weddings and marriages from abroad. In a word, National Jurisdiction & Sovereignty. As long as it is a valid government who performed the wedding or divorce, there is no way to challenge it, even in International Courts.
No legal mechanism exists to nullify it. Its akin to passports, The US has no mechanism to judge for nullity and to Void a passport issued by a legitimate foreign power. The US cannot countermand the passport or the issuing passport authority. It can only check and verify with the foreign power, to see, if 1. the passport was really issued, and 2. issued to the person claiming it (genuine document vs identity fraud).
Attempted Case Law challenges have already made the Haitian Sensation a done deal. The Judges bow out, refusing to hear the cases. As, well they should, knowing they could be disbarred, lose their licenses to practice law, or even get jailed, and sued within civil courts for damages.
2) You didn’t account for the scenario when there are children.
In the real world cases, RE: that I am intimate aka 1st hand knowledge of…
In the final decree, the filer(2) has been awarded custody, on paper. They made sure to have the offspring out of the physical clutches of the wife-ex-wife, when she was cast out.
In one instance, where the exwife had a vengeful and anger management issues, the hubby has a motion for a restraining order drawn up and ready to file. And this was before she was even notified of the Final divorce judgment.
True to form, she got violent, in front of a number of witnesses. The divorce lawyer reping him filled on the same day; and within a week she was cooling her heels in a county jail for repeatedly violating the restraining order.
3) Are you a lawyer or blowing speculative smoke rings?
Just a highly informed party and expert witness. I have seen the procedure carried out first hand, more then ten times.
Have you considered forgetting your particular physical-type demands and simply responding to girls who you get along with? Height, hair color, boob size, whatever be damned?
Now what is my particular physical-type demand, hmmmm, I can’t seem to remember …
36 Michael Blowhard:
And at that moment you can move to the next stage. Or not! I mean, why rush? Why not linger on some kissing, or maybe a little more fond touching?
Michael, you offer some great advice in your comment, however there is a growing subgroup of girls who would consider this sort lingering foreplay to be highly beta-ish. It’s usually the wild, outgoing adverturous ones who expect a man to be more direct, aggressive and primal.
Unless they’re playing him to be their chump provider. Heh.
@ Sara
Re: your daughters dislike of men…
I am simply SHOCKED. Shocked I tell you!!!
I’ve read a lot about the undesirability/”undateability” of women 30+ on this blog, but I have to provide you with some counter-evidence. I was at a bar/lounge yesterday (in TX) with a few friends, and two of the cutest/tallest men in the place approached and danced with these two girls (or I should call them women). Now both of these women were a bit on the chubby side (though not fat), smoked, didn’t dress that well, had average-looking faces, and were 28 yrs old and 30 yrs old, respectively. (ie: they weren’t head-turners). Yet, two tall, good-looking men went up to them, danced with them the whole night, and even asked for their numbers. The few attractive women in the place were all dancing alone or with other girls. Now, can you explain this to me? I know I’m baffled. Maybe women in their late 20s and early 30s, even those with average bodies/faces, are attractive to men after all. I think this provides a case for average, older women….
They were simply approaching those who they believed would put out more easily.
42 Tupac
Re: your daughters dislike of men…
I am simply SHOCKED. Shocked I tell you!!!
If you say so!
Animus — women don’t really care about criminal past, cheating, etc. So if they *say* they do, discard that. They do care about testosterone, status, power, etc.
That explains things.
46: women don’t really care about criminal past, cheating, etc.
Women with any sense sure as hell do!
@agnostic 44
You’re probably right, but it’s not so simple. Women who behave like they’re really not interested don’t deserve the company of those men. It is most likely that they were not the only women in the place at their particular physical attractiveness level.
What they were that the other women weren’t though, is responsive. They were willing to dance with those guys, and openly so, so they got the benefits while everyone playing hard to get, lost out.
Being responsive can get a woman places where being merely pretty doesn’t. For all you know, those tall handsome men might be security guards with good taste in clothes. Security, especially at clubs, see pretty girls come and go all the time. So do guys who are hair stylists, photographers, artists, social workers, college professors…or maybe they’ve banged ALOT of women, and are ready for someone who notices that there’s someone else in the bed with them…you get my point.
After meeting and seeing so many beautiful young women, the simple fact that someone is young and beautiful stops impressing a guy who is in it for the experience, or really someone who’s interesting in having children with someone who won’t drown them in the bathtub.
SAM, the Haitian divorce thing sounded too good to be true, so I did a quick search. http://www.fastestdivorce.com/faq.html
“The unilateral divorce is considered void by many jurisdictions.”
“As for unilateral divorces, the Haitian court generally will not settle issues related to custody, visitation and property distribution.”
Nerds are interested in virtually EVERYTHING.
That’s why when I’m at the book store, I’m holding The Economist, Foreign Affairs, Top Gear, People, various photography magazines, and some bland financial magazine. Either that, or my estrogen and testosterone hormones are competing with each other.
women who are moderately tall (5′7″-5′8″) are more averse to dating short guys than women who are taller then most men (5′10″ and up)
Wellesley Queen was very similar. Despite the fact that we were nearly the same height, she would routinely say that my beta ass was too short for her, and she needed taller guys. Interestingly, at the same time, I blew off petite girls who were interested in me because petite girls came across to me as either bad-tempered or ditsy and stupid.
50 David Alexander
I blew off petite girls who were interested in me because petite girls came across to me as either bad-tempered or ditsy and stupid.
Thanks a lot, prick. Oh wait, I just proved your point.
DA, to your terabyte of porn!
Hey, no fair. Tonight, I’m seeing a girl!
52 James
=== I didn’t even look at the link, but I presume it’s “The Secret” or something similar? I keep wondering why hundreds of thousands of third-world citizens don’t ask “the universe” to treat them better…especially since no money is needed!
Silly, silly, James. The Secret is a big suckfest. It’s a rip off and knock off of this: http://www.abraham-hicks.com which you probably aren’t going to be impressed with either, not that I care. The world is not ready for it; at least not in Oprah’s opinion. She gives us “The Secret” instead; the dumbed down version.
@49 zorgon
Frankly, I find this most disturbing.
The gents I know, have no clue that their coups de grace could be ruled invalid. They were all unilateral filings, (2 of the unilaterals were awarded sole custody, but both of these men had provided the Haitian courts with pre & post nuptial child custody agreements, showing the Father would be granted custody in the event of divorce or separation).
Over the day, today, I talked to three divorce attorneys over skype in Port Au Prince, and it appears I have been promulgating faulty information.
Unilateral divorces no longer are airtight methods of asset & wealth protection. Although this used to be an unsinkable method.
Its a good thing the wives of these men, have bought the hook, line and sinker. More importantly, their legal reps are fracking them over.
And more to the point, if they can get away with it for 24 months, its still valid, as the statue of limitations will still kick in Re: the divorce papers.
I got an email from a family court judge’s clerk about this.
(Some chippie who graduated UT Law, who cherished what time I allowed her to have in my life.)
@52 James O.
“this cracks me up”
The remote chance is still chance. Ultimately Judges tend to be conservative about risking their own neck until they get a federal lifetime bench appointment.
Their jurisprudent ignorance, and often deliberate reverse-able errors show they can be gamed, the bar association is nothing more then a frat house that steers the overall system in favor of the status quo (code for the elite and the rich).
No, the wife need not be present for a unilateral divorce.
52 James
Try this, not that it will help.
Now, if this short, used-to-be-socially ackward, ‘uncoordinated’ man actually likes tall, athletic women, then the above advice form various people is okay.
Another likely possibility is he is trying to validate himself by fullfilling a totally useless High School fantasy.
He is mentally still in High School and thinks banging the Head Cheerleader will forever prove that he is a success and validate himself. Were he still in High School, this would simply be stupid. However, should he actually succeed in nailing an ex-High School Cheerleader, he could very easily wreck his life.
Mr. E-mail 2, “athletic cheerleader” is basically a physical preference, do you actually want to make that your primary criteria?
But if you think I’m wrong Number 2, then you should have no trouble locking on and banging athletic, fit, short gynamists.
Of course, if Reader 2 is AGAINST the idea of the gynmast, maybe he should ask himself why?
Also, from a purely practical point of view, combining tall and short body types is stupid.
SAM, you’ve made a number of Texas references from time to time, where are you located? I’m in Austin.
James O said:
“28 SFG any advice on picking up nerd chicks?
=== Aren’t they all notably unattractive? If so, why is any advice needed? Game is for overcoming the challenging ones.”
Excuse me? We’re not all unattractive. Those of us who are, are basically trying hard to be so. It’s like a filter.
Being pointedly non mainstream filters out the guys who are looking for an accessory to boost or confirm their status, while intellectually and to some degree emotionally staying out of their way. It’s narcissist repellant.
…and we’re definitely not easy. We’re just less likely to be overly religious, and also less likely to be dependent on the “normal” rules. So if we like someone well enough, we don’t waste time with b.s.
Again, a woman with money and status of her own, only needs a man for companionship and sex. These are very important, but they’re just different from what most women are looking for. So if you prove you’re a good companion, it’s very likely that you’ll get some good sex from nerdettes as a reward.
…although sometimes, in all honesty, we do it just for the sake of the experience, and the rest is somewhat secondary. We’ll usually do that only if the guy is equally or more intelligent, and fits whatever quirk or fetish we have.
It’s those “blue moons” that come around if it’s been more than a year or two.
“48 “the simple fact that someone is young and beautiful stops impressing a guy”
Sorry Nicole, you are genetically unqualified to say that…you’re female! : )”
Actually, I borrowed that bit of wisdom from a few male friends.
I am definitely no fan of the herd, and it wouldn’t really affect me much if it were true that all men are after sex with young media-pretty women. I’ve already spawned, and well. I lucked out and my first ex and I made a potential uberwench.
…but I know men and their desires very well. Not every guy has sex the same way, and not everyone likes the same thing. For some guys, a woman being young really doesn’t mean much unless they’re specifically looking for a breeder, and for some that doesn’t matter so much as long as the woman’s pre menopausal.
Whatever the mainstream may be like, there is quite enough variety that no man should be alone unless he wants to be, just like no woman should be alone unless she wants to be. I think most people in the west just make up reasons not to get involved because living a real life takes more work than living in illusions.
I’m alone by choice because I’m saving myself for the one or ones who don’t have their head up their arses. Those are in short supply here, and I don’t mind keeping to myself until I encounter one.
…and if I’m in a crowd of people, and there are some handsome guys standing in one place, and some not so handsome but not full of crap guys in another, my booty is shaking near the not full of crap ones.
Guys get tired of women’s crap too, so those guys who picked up the ones who were actually interested at least in having some fun, did the right thing…as many smart guys who aren’t emotional or financial masochists do.
From email #1:
“Date 2: she arrives at my place already intoxicated.”
So what’s the fucking problem?
From email #1:
“Date 1: drinks at a bar near her place. Goes well.”
Goes well? You didn’t swoop her. I would say “went Horrible”
– MPM
Peter:
check this out
http://www.amazon.com/Remington-BKT-1000-Shape-Bikini-Trimmer/dp/B0000BY85E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1220471717&sr=1-1
=== Aren’t they all notably unattractive? If so, why is any advice needed? Game is for overcoming the challenging ones.”
Actually, due to the large numbers of nerd men looking for nerd women, nerd women are challenging. But I’m not sure if game would work, or how it should be modified; would I insult her intelligence instead of her looks?
the comment you made about soccer — which is actually called football, as you use your foot to manipulate a ball, as opposed to that throwball crap — is patently ridiculous. so far, that’s your site’s only low point.
No, he’s right. He specified that in America soccer is for losers. Europe is a whole different story.