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UGH VAPING HIPSTERS

The streets are getting overrun with hipsters puffing limp-wristedly on electronic, cigar-shaped vaporizers. Now the unmuscled, orally-fixated white hipster signals his approach with a little blue LED light and a swirl of nicotine/weed steam emanating from his smelly beard. Are there that many former hipster smokers trying to quit, or is the vape pen just another SWPL attempt to ape actual coolness in an age of anti-racism schoolmarms and sexually ambiguous male feminists? “Vape bars” aren’t far behind.

I recently bought a foot-long vape pipe. I don’t intend to smoke it. I’ll just have it worked into an illustrious pendant worn as a mating cue to passing ladies. Vape rape. 😎

82 Responses to “UGH VAPING HIPSTERS”

  1. […] UGH VAPING HIPSTERS […]

    • Killdie says:

      I tried vaping when I was quitting smoking, it felt lame and looked gay so I started dipping copenhagen instead.

      But a friend of a friend who is the biggest beta, hipster, reddit faggot I have ever known recently took up vaping. Except he’s too much of a pussy to actually do nicotine so he just smokes plain water vapor to “look cool” (his actual words).

      This is the state of the world we live in. Scrawny (he’s 115 pounds, I believe that legally classifies you as a woman) beta faggots dressed in skinny jeans and screamo t-shirts sucking water vapor out of robot dicks to get a fat polyamorous SJW ham-demon’s attention.

  2. […] UGH VAPING HIPSTERS […]

  3. Manco says:

    Ugh, this one gets me. I’m 44 and discovered vaping a few months ago and am using it as a way to quit smoking (no cigs in 4 months). I’m using it less and less and about the decrease the amount of nicotine in the juice I use. So for me, it’s a very positive and beneficial thing health wise.

    I don’t know if I never paid attention to hipsters before, but a few weeks after I started vaping I noticed tons of people in public using vapers. Every person I saw using one was a complete douchebag hipster loser. It really pissed me off that I would be lumped in with those assholes all because I found a way that was going to work for me (so far) to ween off cigs. So now I try to limit my use in public, lest I be confused with “that crowd”.

    Fucking hipsters ruin everything.

    • MZ says:

      Sounds like me. I got one a few months ago and I’ve really cut back on the cigars. I don’t take mine when I go out, mainly use it at home and occasionally take it with me in my truck at work.

      Fucking hipsters did the same thing to beer.

    • jc says:

      “Fucking hipsters ruin everything.”

      amen

    • APL says:

      Manco: “I found a way that was going to work for me (so far) to ween off cigs.”

      That’s easy, take up smoking cigars.

    • Pyjama Wearing Ninja says:

      I quit cigs too and I just puff a couple of times a day out of one of these. I use it to pay less taxes, save money and improve my health by quitting smoking. I like it because it impacts your breathing ability less too.

  4. DaveD says:

    Capers always impress me as folks who want to smoke like the cool kids but their mommies won’t let them.

    • burke says:

      i think that’s basically a lot of the beardies too, they see cigarettes and real manly men in pictures or film, they know that’s what they ought to have become, but they can’t really be them in their swplsjwhipster cultures but they can smoke a vape and grow a beard and wear a flannel and pretend that’s masculinity

      that being said, i had a great vape for weed back when i smoked occasionally and it was nice not to stink up the world.

  5. DaveD says:

    Vapers.

  6. The top male hipsters actually get a lot of hotties.

    It seems that everyone bashes the loser try hard loser hipsters and forget about all the Johnny Depp types that clean up with the good looking hipster chicks.

    Also, this seems to be present in every social group. The beta portion of frat guys are brash no class losers that everyone points to show frat boys are always douche bags but conveniently leave out the 6’2 athletic intelligent frat president/leader.

    Although, some types of sub groups really are mostly made up of the unsuccessful with the leaders only being on par with some type of greater beta in the more widely accepted cultures. See neckbeards or goth for examples.

    • Sean Fielding says:

      Great point. It’s always the how, seldom the what.

    • Microcosms and microcosms and so on and so on all the way down to the bottom of the earth and beyond.

      • El Capitan says:

        It’s all turtles, all the way down.

      • Anonymous says:

        Chicken. Egg. It’s turtles all the way
        Synchronicity
        when you’re banging a “poly” chick who has a bf, in what tangible way is it different than banging a college chick who bangs (or even lives with) her high school ex bf?

    • Harland says:

      Top men everywhere always get the hotties. Is this supposed to be some great insight or something? I suppose it is if you’re Psychology Today or the New York Beta Times, but come on look at the blog you’re on.

  7. donniccolo says:

    I’m a big van of my cannabis vape pen. I hope I don’t come off as a pretentious hipster. I don’t really give a fuck but it would be nice to not be judged at a glance.

    • I wouldn’t worry about it.

      Hipster seems to be overused to describe anybody with even slightly alternative taste.

      If Led Zeppelin, The Who or Pink Floyd was started today they would be considered hipster as well. The real issue is that today’s alternative culture is way too feminized. All the new music and tone seems to lack any kind of bite or edge and that bleeds over to fashion and other cultural trends. So any thing that young people gravitate towards is going to be associated with pussy liberalism due to the vast majority of young people are pussy liberals. E cigs themselves are politically neutral. I assure you.

      Artists/Musicians have always been more effeminate in the grand scheme of things than the standard template of man. However, in the olden days these guys still acted like guys. Jimmy Page and Roger Daltrey screwed tons of hot groupies and had swagger. The new up and comers simply don’t have that magnetism anymore and real hard rock music seems to be dying out with only older guys like Queens of the Stoneage carrying the flag.

  8. Ha, I bought one of these. It helped me quit smoking. And then it was infinitely easier to quit vaping than it was to go cold turkey so it’s just a $100+ appliance*
    sitting around doing nothing these days.

    *Worth every penny.

  9. KP says:

    Vape bars aren’t “next”, they’re already here:

    https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=vape+bar

  10. Laguna Beach Fogey says:

    They don’t look cool.

  11. Blessent says:

    Go away! Vapin!

  12. Skinner says:

    The answer here is to get the biggest fuggin vaping mod going (I recommend the full length Innokin I34 with a huge tank on top). Forget about the hipsters. They weren’t cool when they smoked and they’re not cool now. I was cool as when I smoked and I’m cool as when I pull out my vape now. Plus, there’s the inevitable fun and sexy interchange of “That’s the biggest one I’ve seen.” “All the girls say that.” *smirk and kino*

  13. Uh-UNGH says:

    Vapes are awesome because they give you all of the nicotine with none of the cancer.

    • Pyjama Wearing Ninja says:

      Nicotine is toxic carcinogen, so nope. They’re healthier than cigarettes though.

  14. Tam the Bam says:

    Only time I’ve noticed it is sat outside at some random Belgian or Spanish cafe, and The RealDeadbeatLocalLoserGuy age fifty staggers up, orders, parks his long be-shorted shrivelled ass and starts a re-enactment of The Shower Scene from Bergen-Belsen. While flipping his sandals about from his manky toes.
    I’m pretty sure Stephenson’s “Rocket” emitted less guff and fumes.

    Oh and to fit it in to the local scene, it’s dossers in the bus-shelter, waiting to go and sign on. Passed two in Niddrie Mains Road today early doors. Unmistakable. Like a drone strike, outside Lidl.

  15. ng85 says:

    You can tell the difference between someone who’s vaping to try and quit smoking and someone who’s doing it to try and look cool. I’d say a majority of vapers are guys who want to have the cool bad boy mystique of a smoker without committing to the acquired taste and cancer risk of a real cigarette.

    • Pyjama Wearing Ninja says:

      I started smoking because I thought it would make me look cooler. I continued smoking because it was a great excuse to stay at the entrance of my university and talk to classmates that smoked or with random people that smoked. And I sort of liked it by then. But I don’t really think smoking makes you cool, I think only non-smokers have this impression of smokers?

  16. Fugue says:

    This is what the Jew wants, whites despising other whites. I will never understand why the Jews always win this battle. Anti-racist is a code word for anti-stupid. You anti liberal whites should embrace and be kinder to your liberal counter parts because if not and the race war begins you will have no useful idiots aka “Operation Human Shield”. Red pill Alpha white men, dying for SWPL, SJW hipster betas would do nothing but put a huge grin on the YKW’s face.

    • Tam the Bam says:

      “Red pill Alpha white men, dying for SWPL, SJW hipster betas would do nothing but put a huge grin on the YKW’s face.”
      That, young man, I seriously doubt.
      Like the rest of your List, they want somewhere safe, rich and fat to live.
      Absent YT, and it’s just random bands of savages squabbling over the carcass.
      Very violent, very pointless, and doomed to bestial squalor and poverty for evermore.

    • Anonymous says:

      Who the F cares what the Jew wants!!!!!!!! It is the neocons driving it. Until people start waking up from these distractions we will never fix anything.

    • Random Guy says:

      Its all about power.

      Back in the day, when white people had more power not every “white” group was considered white, like the Irish, Italians or even on the odd occasion Germans ironically enough.

      The more elite the group; the greater the street cred needed to join basically.

      It is why White people don’t include mixed bloods among their ranks most of the time but Black people “will”.

      All about establishing a power base and the weaker you are, the more allies and resources you need to work with.

      The more you got; the more you can afford to be selective.

      • James Blonde says:

        Random Guy
        It is why White people don’t include mixed bloods among their ranks most of the time but Black people “will”
        —————————————————————————————————

        The white category has suffered significant inflation since the U.S was founded in 1776.

        Your boy Ben Franklin was not happy:

        “Why should Pennsylvania, founded by the  English, become a Colony of Aliens, who will shortly be so numerous as  to Germanize us instead of our Anglifying them, and will never adopt our  Language or Customs, any more than they can acquire our Complexion?

        That the Number of PURELY  white People in the World is proportionally very small. All Africa is  black or tawny. Asia chiefly tawny. America (exclusive of the new Comers) wholly so.

        And in Europe, the Spaniards, Italians,   French, Russians and Swedes, are generally of what we call  a swarthy Complexion; as are the Germans also; the Saxons only  excepted, who with the English, make the principal Body of White People on the Face of the Earth.”

        Don’t get upset. If I see him on the street I’ll slap that shit outta him for you.

        Hotep brother.

  17. armenia4ever says:

    I stand by this vaping, hipsters or not.

    There is something alluring to women about smoking and with vaping you take out the smell and taste that women don’t like on smokers.

    I personally am more of a tobacco pipe kind of guy, but some of the vape pens go well with a cup of coffee and makes for a good conversation piece.

    • anonymous says:

      Lol. The men who get laid most are stupid: tats, smoke while drinking coffee, drink, don’t do any real work, never go to gym, do not support children.

    • YaReally says:

      “There is something alluring to women about smoking”

      It forces you to pause, which creates anticipation and sexual tension, esp if you combine it with sexual eye-contact (see Liam McRae’s rapid escalation vid). When a girl asks you a question and you take a long slow puff before answering her, you build a lot of tension, and if you add sexual eye-contact in there and your answer is sexual, you’re going to blast the sexual tension through the roof.

      Combine that with smoking being easy opening (bumming a smoke/light and girls can bum them off you) and easy isolation (you get a solid few minutes of one on one conversation with her away from the loud music), and a raspy deep smoker voice and you have an overall pretty powerful weapon in terms of seduction.

      Prob is the nasty yellow teeth lol fucking disgusting. Not a fan of the reeking clothes either.

      Same pausing during conversation can be done using a drink like taking a slow sip of a drink before answering, or simply standing there bemused and staring her down, but it feels strange to just stand there not answering whereas sipping a drink or lighting a smoke or smoking it give your hands and mouth something to do that makes logical sense to your brain to justify why you aren’t speaking yet. You can learn to do it with no “gotta do something with my hands” crutch but smoking has it built-in so it’s an easy transition.

      I don’t smoke or vape and I generally screen out girls who smoke or at least make them not do it around me and definitely not in my apartment/bed.

  18. Anonymous says:

    The ultimate liars are the neocons. The neocons are the one’s serving the blue pills. What do they do after a coup? Gay parade.

    http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2015-03-16/caught-tape-state-departments-psaki-smirks-about-us-policy-supporting-coups

  19. itsme says:

    just another example of the heterophobic vape culture we live in today

  20. Capper says:

    Most of the people I know who use them are hard-core potheads who want to smoke weed in public without making a big smell.

  21. anonymous says:

    Hmm. Sounds familiar.

    This “sheer destructive power” of the Jewish intellect was an important
    aspect of the pre-National Socialist era in Germany. As indicated in SAID (Chs.
    2, 5), a prominent feature of anti-Semitism among the Social Conservatives and
    racial anti-Semites in Germany from 1870 to 1933 was their belief that Jews
    were instrumental in developing ideas that subverted traditional German attitudes and beliefs. Jews were vastly overrepresented as editors and writers during the 1920s in Germany, and “a more general cause of increased anti-Semitism was the very strong and unfortunate propensity of dissident Jews to attack national institutions and customs in both socialist and non-socialist publications” (Gordon 1984, 51).49 This “media violence” directed at German culture by Jewish writers such as Kurt Tucholsky—who “wore his subversive heart on his sleeve” (Pulz 1979, 97)—was publicized widely by the anti-Semitic press (Johnson 1988, 476- 477).

    Jews were not simply overrepresented among radical journalists,
    intellectuals, and “producers of culture” in Weimar Germany, they essentially
    created these movements.

    “They violently attacked everything about German society. They despised the military, the judiciary, and the middle class in general” (Rothman & Lichter 1982, 85).

    Hmmmm.

    Massing (1949, 84) notes the perception of the anti-Semite Adolf Stoecker of Jewish “lack of reverence for the Christianconservative world.”

    Anti-Semitism among university professors during the Weimar period was
    partially fueled by the perception that “the Jew represented the critical or
    ‘negative’ aspects of modern thought, the acids of analysis and skepticism that
    helped to dissolve the moral certainties, patriotic commitment, and social
    cohesion of modern states” (Ringer 1983, 7).

    Reflecting this perception, National Socialist propaganda during the period claimed that Jews attempted to undermine the social cohesion of gentile society while remaining committed to a highly cohesive group themselves—an intellectual double standard in which the basis of social cohesion among gentiles was subjected to intense criticism while the Jews “would retain their international cohesiveness, blood ties, and spiritual unity” (Aschheim 1985, 239).

    Viewed from this perspective, an important goal of Jewish intellectual effort may be understood as attempting to undermine cohesive gentile group strategies while continuing to engage in their own highly cohesive group strategy. This issue reemerges in the discussion of Jewish involvement in radical political movements and the Frankfurt School of Social Research in Chapters 3 and 5.
    This phenomenon was not restricted to Germany.

    ***
    We are fucked until there is a revolution.

  22. Top Danger says:

    The vape dongle says “I was a badboy, now I’m reforming.” It is like fireworks signalling for chicks about to hit the wall, who want a provider but not a nice guy.

    Or at least, that’s what it said before the hipsters found it.

  23. Anonymous says:

    The U.S. was against democratic elections in Syria.
    The U.S. was against democratic elections in Crimea.
    The U.S. was against democratic elections in Donetsk
    The U.S. was against democratic elections in Luhansk.
    The U.S. supported a coup to overturn a democratically elected government in Ukraine.

    Jen Psaki of the U.S. State Department said that it is ludicrous that the U.S. would ever support any non-democratic change of government in any country including Ukraine and we have the recording on YouTube of Nuland planning the new government!!!!!!
    WTF!!!!!!

  24. Former Cig Smoker says:

    I finally quit smoking cigarettes after 34 years of trying every single other option, about 1.5 years ago. I am 54 years old and over the years have tried the patch, prescriptions, nicoret gum and even hypnosis. One day I bought a $100.00 worth of vape and have not smoked a old fashioned cigarette since. Sorry if I look cool and hip, but I am alive and kicking.

  25. eric says:

    Hey I’ll be quick. I approached many girls today. Around 10, from cougars to girls my age. I hit on a cougar by telling her she looks beautiful for her age, she looked shocked and said I don’t get that a lot. I got too nervous, she threw me bait and I didn’t know what to say. Looking back I could’ve said ” Damn, thats shocking” or something. I’ve gotten top notch advice, and I need to think quicker on my feet but I need advice on how to continue the flirting

    • Anonymous says:

      LOL! Nice Eric. Practice makes perfect.

      • eric says:

        Any advice.?

      • JCclimber says:

        what, you want to get perfect immediately without some serious time put into trial and error?
        A magic pill?
        You want to be a buff body builder after two weeks at the gym?

        Get out there again and try again. And keep reading here. And DON’T analyze what you’re doing right or wrong while you are out in the field doing things. Analyze it later after you get home. Then go out and do more.

    • Benson says:

      I’m trying to approach every day, too. Keep opening and your nerves will calm down eventually. The right replies will just start coming to you, then you can reuse them in the future.

      I think you could have just changed the subject when she said she doesn’t get that very often. But maybe someone with better chops can give you more detailed feedback.

    • Sentient says:

      advice – just continue talking… keep it simple, Do you live here? > What are some cool places things to do here? Cool…. > So what are you up to today? > Cool. Come with me to get XYZ (coffee, grab a drink etc.) > You can’t cool, well give me your number I’ll hit you up another time then…

      That’s it.

      Daygame should be brief unless you can bounce right then to an instadate. But for now just focus on the basics Stop – Talk – Set up date or number – Move on.

  26. Jerkweed69 says:

    Vou all need to vake up and vmell the voffee.

  27. Trimegistus says:

    Fucking hipsters. All the towns around here are infested with them. I find myself straining to resist the urge to shout at them: “Dressing up like a fucking lumberjack doesn’t keep you from looking like a pussy! It just makes you look like a pussy wearing a lumberjack costume!”

    • bear says:

      I’ve worked in the woods my whole life. I’m burly, rugged and wear flannels and boots regularly. I was at a Paneras recently with my woman and saw one if these fans and just laughed. He looked like the Pillsbury dough boy in lumberjack drag. I don’t think they realize how queer they look

      • JCclimber says:

        “I’m a lumber jack and I’m okay” is now running in my head…..
        Thanks Monty Python

    • Anonymous says:

      LMAO!!!!

  28. The Seeker of Truth says:

    I like the term “lumbersexual.”

  29. Lazer says:

    Tobacco is actually a good source of acetycholine recptor activation. Its the thousand of other chemicals in cigarettes that cause serious decay. I myself perfer wood tip swishers (better than chewing gum for the teeth), or a good hand made pipe. Plus you dont have to inhale, and can absorb the good stuff through your cheeks.

    If you have a wood tip after eating and hold it between your teeth while you smoke, youll actually cause digestive enzymes to be released in your mouth. When you swallow they will help with breaking down your food better in the stomach.

  30. Joseph says:

    In the San Joaquin Valley of Central California (imagine Ohio with palm trees where we grow all your food) this is the thing. Smoke shops & barber shops seem to proliferate like rabbits….

    This is how it really ends: not with a bang but a whimper… 18-30 year olds have learned the value of staying high/staying numb: being poor & inundated with even poorer newcomers who work 2 jobs for sucks. Why WOULDN’T they do their best to stay numb to what’s going on?

  31. […] UGH VAPING HIPSTERS | Chateau Heartiste […]

  32. aspergeryone says:

    Hipsters may vape, but most vapers are not hipsters!

    I vape because I like the effect of nicotine and don’t want the negative health side-effects of smoking.

    • JCclimber says:

      Yeah, you really should do a little research on the REAL long term effects of nicotine. You’re dumber, your reflexes are getting slower, and you’re building a vast network of nicotine receptors throughout your body that will continue to crave their nicotine fix.

      Of course, when those vast numbers of nicotine receptors get their fix, they light up and you feel smarter and faster and more awesome for a little while….but it is just a feeling and is not reality.

  33. tteclod says:

    You may find vape bars in the hinterland which is Little Rock, Arkansas.

    Doom! Doooom!

  34. Eventually someone will invent some new, hot, trendy drug so all the shiteating hipsters will switch to the new obscure phallic mouth contraption.

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