RappaccinisDaughter (sock puppet alert) imparts a valuable lesson,
Hey, Greensleeves!
Check this shit out.
So I was just out hunting last weekend, and I got a shot on a nice doe. Lucked into it, really—I was late heading out to my blind setup and the sun had already risen, but lo! she walked right out in front of me. Now, I had to take the shot freehand because my sticks were still slung over my shoulder, and fuck my life, I was doing it with iron sights. But I have a nice .50-cal inline muzzleloader, and they’ll reach out as far as 200 yards, so if I can see it in the iron sights, I can hit it. Brought it up to my shoulder, focused on the front sight, and KA-FUCKING-BOOM!
I don’t know if you’ve ever shot a muzzleloader, but they make one hell of a smoke cloud. Even if you’re not in a blind, it can really make it hard to see how the shot went down. I knew I’d hit her, but by the time I came out of recoil (I didn’t even feel it at the time, but I had a nice bruise flowering on my collarbone by the next morning) she was gone, daddy, gone. You wouldn’t believe how strong a deer really is until you experience it firsthand; they can travel up to a quarter of a mile just on the oxygen that’s already in their muscles. Amazing creatures, really. And I was going to have to track her through some pretty heavy brush.
So the first thing you have to do is, you have to let the bullet do its work. If you start trying to track them right away, they’ll keep running. So I lit up a cigarette—mmmm! tobacco!—and smoked the whole thing, just standing there. Then I put it out and put the butt back in my pack (because I’m eco-friendly like that), and went to work. Luckily, there was a light snowfall, so when I got to where she’d been standing, the tuft of tawny fur was really easy to see. So was the blood trail, which thankfully started right there.
I wound up actually finding her about 45 yards away, piled up at the base of a tree. I like to follow the old German hunting traditions, given that it’s half my heritage, so I plucked a little twig and put it in her mouth, for her symbolic “last bite.” It’s kind of bittersweet, that moment, knowing that you’ve ended the life of this beautiful creature, but when I opened her mouth I saw how ground-down her teeth were. She was in good shape, but she was pretty old. Who knows if she’d have lasted out that winter?
Then, I had to tag her and start cleaning her. Gross, but necessary. Piece of advice—you really cannot beat the “butt out” tool for getting that part of the deer out of the way. I’d heard coyotes howling all the previous evening, so I figured I wouldn’t need to bother burying the gutpile. The ‘yotes would have taken care of it by sundown.
The bitch was hauling her out. I usually have this little sled-like arrangement that I use, but I’d been in such a rush that morning I’d forgotten to bring it along. So I had to grab her by her hind legs and drag her, because I’d ALSO forgotten to bring my blaze-orange engineer tape. There’s no way I’m going to try to haul her around on my shoulders without it…that’s a great way to get shot by another hunter.
I took her back to the cabin and wondered if I should finish butchering her, but then I remembered that I was the one who brought the handle of Knob Creek, so I figured I could cozen someone into doing it for me as long as I shared. (I’m still learning the butchering part—I tend to waste meat by accident.) But I did go ahead and get the backstraps out, and by the time everyone else made it back in, I had them going in the broiler for everyone’s lunch. Hooray! The End.
TL; DR for Greensleeves: If you’re going to write 500 words that have nothing to do with anything the original blog post is about, at least try not to bore everybody to fucking tears.
I laughed.
PS The reason I don’t think this is the ORP is that the writing, stylistically at any rate, sounds like the voice of a man. But bell curve tails exist to add a little spice to the patterns of life.
ghey
> “The bitch was hauling her out.”
Here I got my hopes up that it was RD’s bulldyke lover [Annie Leibovitz?] doing the hauling.
Imagine then my disappointment when I realized that “bitch” was just a euphemism.
The alpha thugs I chase after keep pumping and dumping me. I don’t think it has anything to do with my argumentative attitude or my ugly tattoos. Okay I’m just going to come out with it and just say it. The problem is I have a 3-inch clit and its scaring away the men once I drop my pants. I’ve had men kick me out after sex. its been a real problem. Should I see a plastic surgeon to correct it? I’m already 25 is it too late to fix a permanent mistake? Am I damaged beyond repair?
LOL Rap. Too bad about the tats, though. Huge turn-off for lots of men.
but the clit can be fixed with the right man with deep pockets.
How? By adding testicles to it?
No. You’re fucked.
Or actually unfucked.
well it can be done. a reverse sex change from female to male has been done successfully before. apparently they take a vein from your hand and attach your clit to the end of it. you know i alway knew that i never wanted children and after a search on the internet i’ve found whole entire online communities of people just like me who always just knew at a very young age that I was different from everyone else. sometimes you just gotta unfuck just to fuck.
Rapp. you there? why are you acting like this? you know I can’t stand up for you in front of everyone else. I have lost all credibility at this blog. I tried leading others for the sake of leading and i’ve been outed as a fraud. why are you making things more difficult for me? is this some kind of a shit test or sick joke? please stop this. you’re making me lose face. i mean i’ve already had a hard childhood and it was difficult enough to get care and attention from my parents and my depression is worsening. I can’t stand up for you and be a man and protect you the way you want me to.
sorry
Matt.
I was the original sock-puppet that started this, a few threads ago, about a week ago. It is a pleasure to talk to you proprietors. A quick IP check on me proves this to be the truth.
I wasn’t even sock-puppeting this thread yet; the previous RD’s before this comment were another imposter (RD wishes she were 25, but oh man, I laughed hard at that green sleeves youtube link). I know Matt, RD, and Amy won’t believe me, but I am not the only person with contempt for those 3 buffoons that embody the very anti-thesis of Chateau doctrine. And I am very delighted to see more people – CH regulars like Zombie Shane, Sigma Male, Stilicho, #1, etc. – join in on the fun.
I am happy you laughed – after being an avid reader of the Chateau for many years since the old days of its sole proprietorship under R – and it feels good to see some of my best work get recognized. Perhaps now I get a sort of coupon from you – a free answered email from CH for any one of my concerns?
I have eviscerated Matt, Amy, and RD into puddles of quivering nothingness, rendering them into a dumbfounded state where they cannot respond to me on topic, but can only resort to thinly-veiled tactics of topic change (Amy thinks she rejected me at a bar; RD thinks I want to fuck her and wants to talk about my English while making up her own words herself; Matt white-knights all women without regard to right or wrong). Seriously – I school them on all points, either Chateau doctrine or the pathos of their own lives as solipsistic and intellectually dishonest bad-boy loving whores, or a hypocritical religious zealot white-knight – and all they can do is squirm, change the topic (even when it’s about their own lives), and try to ignore their unpleasant reality that I illustrate.
I invite all of you to read all of my work (pure artistry, really) and correspondence with these clowns; these 3 fails so hard that is it quite rare to see such blatant stupidity showcased for the entire world to see. I attach an Appendix at the end. Yes, I am that proud of my work.
Lastly, I want to take this opportunity to talk to the CH readership myself and my fans:
I want to thank you for helping me, so to speak, take out the trash. Though I have started this, now I see that I am not the only one doing it.
Matt is a white-knighting religious hypocritical fraud, Amy is your typical white-trash (term used loosely; she is a mudshark) whore that slept around with tatt’d up felons and gets mad and throws ad-hominem attacks when she has her attraction to badboys pointed out, and RD is an ugly chain-smoking gun-toting whiskey-drinking shemale whore with unfeminine A-cups that gets wet from putting herself amongst men that hit and rape her, who also changes the topic into things like English grammar to avoid the uncomfortable truth.
As a token of my gratitude, I will out myself as GBFM (lolzozlozlzolzolz). Being a father has opened my eyes to being more of a clearer teacher, so I will now write in a more mature and coherent manner. I – and my followers – will purge the Chateau of unworthy blood that permeates the hearts of those that do not embody our ideals.
Finally here is the Appendix. I promise that each and every post is entertaining and enlightening, as well as abrasively incriminating toward the shitposters known as Matt King, Amy, and RD (I would go after Greg Eliot too but his posts are too incoherent for me to follow).
The essential synopsis of each and every discussion is how I school them on CH points – while pointing out that their very existence goes against CH teachings – and all they can do in return is say “I don’t want to sleep with you”, talk about deer hunting, English syntax, or other such obvious red-herring topic changes. Guaranteed or your money back.
—————
Appendix: (all of this happened within the last week of blog posts)
being Matt King – top of ‘Types of Men…”
Court of Law of 3 clowns + being Amy – towards top of “Your Daily Game”
being RD and Matt King – upper-middle of “Your Daily Game”
calling Amy out – top of “Female Preference for Bad Boys…”
calling Amy out + being Matt King – middle of “Female Preference for Bad
Boys….”
my first correspondence to RD (she discusses her rape, but not the one I gave her verbally) + calling out Matt – middle of “Chicks Dig Psychotic Killers”
my first correspondence with Amy and Matt – lower middle of “Make Yourself More Attractive…”
——————-
P.S. One more thing – I did not write that RD post about killing animals in the Chateau OP. She wrote it herself, in her typical off-topic delusional rant to avoid my on-topic points about the unpleasantness that is her life, so of course stylistically it sounds like the voice of a man. She has a clit-dick bigger here than most men’s.
And RD, now I talk to you directly – strange you ask me to follow the original blog post, when you are also guilty of breaking this idea yourself, but you amusingly don’t mention this when you aren’t losing an argument and looking bad. Nice to see how desperate you.
[Oh – and the “boring 500 words” that I wrote about that you referenced (which your ego found too damaging to respond with anything germane about what I said so your 500-lb radioactive hamster wrote about hunting deer) was about you and your life. Talk about irony, right?]
Your Daily Game: Leave a Butt Out on your bedside table when you bring a girl home.