Players and unaffiliated men who labor to pass on the Good Word of Game usually admonish neophytes that borderline uncomfortable numbers of approaches need to be made in order to become proficient at pickup. You’ve got to get out there and talk to more women than you would normally do in the course of a nondescript day.
This message is a good one. You won’t get good at the crimson arts until you’ve put in some real world practice interacting with lots of different women. The exact number is irrelevant; whether it takes you ten or one thousand approaches to improve doesn’t change the undeniable reality that very few men have the ability to go from video gaming malaise to WunderJuan on their first approach.
You could say that the approach mentality, at least during the learning curve stage, is a core principle of game.
There’s one other core game principle that I don’t see mentioned very much, if at all, in the pickup literature. In my view, it’s just as important a principle as approaching girls enough times to trespass beyond your comfort zone. That principle is the “find and foment her flaws” theory.
The idea is simple. Every woman you meet, from friend to love prospect to the barest acquaintance, and every woman who crosses your field of visual inspection, will be subject to your exceedingly judgmental eye. You will search, find and declare to yourself her flaw or flaws. If propriety and privacy allows it, you will verbalize her flaw so that it may become cemented in your wavering cortex and banish all doubt of the flaw’s authenticity. It is a well-kown fact among the big-toothed motivational speaker circuit that saying aloud slogans of self-encouragement or life goals helps the chanter sculpt corporeal heft to his dreams.
So, for example, you see a woman in the mall riding an escalator. Her sundress flounces insouciantly from above you. An incipient boner stirs. But this time, instead of allowing your beta twerpitude the run of your skullcase and straining to catch imagined glimpses of panty, you silence the dork force and, with proud stentorian innerauthority, jot a solid mental note of her larger-than-ideal thighs. Safe distance permitting, you might even rumble in a dampened voice to yourself, “Hm, thunder thighs. Too much speckle.”
You will enact this devious scheme for every attractive and not-so-attractive woman who has the misfortune of falling prey to your daggered gaze. Only the obvious sexual market losers of femaledom — the grossly obese, the crassly ugly, the desiccated old — will be exempt, for their flaws are so prominently obscene they need no reminding nor rooting.
What is the purpose of Principle #2? To balance gender sheets?
Certainly, you could argue with strong evidence that women are particularly unforgiving of men’s flaws, in the private if not in the public, being as how they are slaves to a much more powerful hypergamous force that excels at weeding out stellar-lite suitors with extreme prejudice. A little harsh judgment from you is just giving women a taste of the moldy bread they daily give to men.
But, no, that’s not the purpose, as vengefully titillating as that seems. The purpose is purely practical. The finding and fomenting of women’s flaws conditions the beta male mind to accept the attainability of women, and to discard the reflexive sanctification of women. No master seducer who ever lived believed even one woman was unattainable by him, nor that any woman was a flawless vessel of purity. The seducer loves women, but his love is vast enough to revel in women’s flaws. And that is why he wins.
The beta male who conditions himself thus, by his efforts to discover the flaws in women kept hidden to him by the shadow of his turgid lust cast around his vision, will slowly feel the power and the strength of the Attitude, that indomitable voice that rises like the Great Scrotum from the pubic patch and delivers with valedictorian presumption the message that no woman is out of reach or free of exploitable insecurities, the exploiting of which by a savvy man she herself would be ashamed to admit thrills her to the clitbone.
Returning to escalator girl, here are some more examples of flawmobbing.
– skewed eyes
– narrow hips
– rumpled blouse
– misshapen boobs
– nip/tuck victim
– manhands
– roo pouch
– clown feet
– incipient hump
– jug ears
– wasted calves
– bow-legged
– flabby arms
– pigeon-toed
– broad shouldered
– excessive peach fuzz
– asymmetric nostrils
– ETC
I can already hear the gripers. “But I just saw the hottest chick ever and she looked PERFECT! I couldn’t find anything wrong with her.”
There is always something wrong with a girl, no matter how beautiful. You may have to dig a little deeper, but you’ll find her thermal exhaust port with a practiced keen eye. Note that any of the above can easily apply to the hottest girl you have ever seen. That’s the beauty of the flawfinding mission: it unearths the normally overlooked blemishes scattered among a girl’s mien that her general beauty tends to obscure to men. If you socialize with a girl and gain insight into her personality, you have even more data from which to devise withering, silent judgments.
Once you have gotten reliable at noticing and promoting women’s flaws, their beauty will no longer hold such paralyzing power over you. Conditioned to emphasize a woman’s worst and attenuate her best, you will become a cad machine, irresistible to the fairer sex who will react shaken from their stupor by your dispassionate demeanor and feel the threat of your pervasive critical eye with senses aflame.
Maxim #30: Ignore a woman’s flaws at your peril. They are the key to reconfiguring your perception, and thus her attainability.
pointy elbows!
Different beast. Gameless Betas use minor flaws as an excuse to refrain from approaching (Pointy Elbows Syndrome). Once the will to approach is established, Finding & Fomenting Flaws takes the edge off approach anxiety.
-Butt Chin
“There is always something wrong with a girl.. ”
The most obvious truths are the most useful truths…
I covered this recently but your writing is quite a bit better.
http://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/outcome-independence-find-her-flaw/
@The Private Man: I’m guessing your article is what inspired THIS piece….
And a commentator mentioned that on this site some days ago. A good post and good comments.
The Manosphere is unintentionally coordinated.
Besides the rumpled blouse, would you neg from this list or would that be too harsh for your rogering purposes?
CH often says ‘when in doubt, be a jerk,’ but this stuff reads asshole. I think most of it would ruin chances for a bang.
I read it as an aid to inner game, for guys who tend to put the pussy on the pedestal.
You should at least think it och say it aloud to your self, not necessarily to her.
@nati,
Well obviously you wouldn’t tell someone flatly that they were bow-legged, but if the chick was otherwise a hottie, then you might inquire if she rode ponies a lot as a kid…
oh shit! and yeah “the comfort zone”.
“Once you have gotten reliable at noticing and promoting women’s flaws, their beauty will no longer hold such paralyzing power over you.”
This ‘paralyzing power’ is often what causes so many guys to invoke the approval seeking nice guy ass kissing worshipping wuss which so often holds them back. Boys, you must overcome this paralyzing power and emerge as men.
I thought your bloody vag pic was even more effective. And when you see a woman, to act as if you know a funny joke about her that she doesn’t know.
If you can find the one thing that SHE worries about the most, you’ve found the path to her panties. Not just any flaw, but her most worrisome flaw.
Most men notice the obviously good features — the ones a woman considers to be good, so she advertises them. Big tits displayed with low-cut dresses, shapely asses in tight pants and skirts, or full lips advertised with bright red lipstick. Ignore those.
Game-aware men look for the thing she is trying to draw attention AWAY from — flowing skirts to hide thick calves, or long hair to hide protruding ears, or heavy eyeliner to enlarge beady eyes. Every hot girl has a secret she tries to hide from attention-giving orbiters (“I hate my hair/boobs/legs/nose/ears/teeth/voice/eyebrows/hips/shoulders/what-the-fuck-ever”).
These are the things SHE will have the greatest insecurity about. When you subtly let her know you’re aware of it, she’ll spread her legs to you just to prove to herself that she’s not unforgivably hideous.
When I was courting my first wife, a solid 9, Polish girl, who was a blue eyed, blonde haired beauty. Her face was a mix of a young Sharon Stone and Grace Kelly. She was very vain about her looks, as she received compliments constantly from strangers and guys whistling at her in the street.
I remember on an early date she said something to the effect that,
Hottie: “All guys love girls with blonde hair, right?”
Me: (deadpan) “Not me, I prefer brunettes. Give me a dark haired beauty any day over a blonde”
Hottie: “Well why are you with me then?”
Me: “I’m hoping I’ll get to sample some Polish cooking soon!” (grin)
A few months later she says:
Hottie: “Different guys have told me I have ‘The Perfect Nose’, what do you think?”
Me: “Well you certainly have a nice nose – it’s not small mind you, but I like it anyway…”
Hottie: (Runs to a 3-way mirror in the bedroom and spends 20 minutes looking at her nose from various angles… then comes back) “Do I have a big nose? No one has ever said that before… I’ve only ever received compliments on my nose??!!”
Me: (Laughing…) “Don’t worry your little head about that…”
that feel when no gf
why did she divorce you?
@Anony,
She didn’t, I left her when I realized she couldn’t have kids… I’m a breeder so that’s important to me
If you can’t think of a fault right from the get go just picture the same hot woman taking a massive dump while sitting on the toilet and accidently wipes the toilet paper forward.
Works for me.
Awesome advice!
silence the dork force
rises like the Great Scrotum from the pubic patch
flawmobbing
Not bad. A little more glib than the best of them, but still memorable.
Good rule, but it can also backfire, i.e. if you internalize the exaggeration of those flaws so that she no longer seems attractive to you.
I had a friend who would sabotage himself constantly by finding miniscule flaws in women … which he then couldn’t shake. He allowed it to affect his actual perception of them. One girl tasted like Pepsi when he kissed her. Another one smelled like burnt chicken. He dumped both. There were many, many others who had such hilariously miniscule “problems”.
To his credit, he also had mastered the art of inscrutability. Women never knew if he liked them or not. Often he didn’t know either. True to the thoughts on this site, he was very successful with short-term punani (but has failed miserably with longer-term stuff).
That’s not really a problem for most men. I’ve never taken off a woman’s clothes and been absolutely enthralled with her beauty. I always notice something and it almost never really bothers me. But if it will give you hand, then take advantage of that gift from heaven.
What’s wrong with narrow hips?
@Beta,
Studies have shown that for maximum attractiveness, a girl’s WHR should be about 0.7, so if a girl has narrow hips, she’s going to have to have an impossibly narrow waist to be very attractive…
Then there are people like me, who do not like narrow hips on a girl under any circumstances at all.
I don’t like wide hipped females and besides it all about shape.A .7 ratio could mean a female with a 35″ waist and a 50″ butt and I doubt if that’s attractive.Someone like Katy Perry has a decent body but I like it a bit more girlish.
@Whammy,
I just use the all important Boner Test, to inform my opinions, for example:
1. Katy Perry – Semi Boner
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16400000/Katy-Perry-katy-perry-16409079-1600-1200.jpg
2. Vida Guerra – Rock Hard Boner
http://images.psxextreme.com/wallpapers/psp/Vida-Guerra-02.jpg
Those big butts are out of proportion to the body. Those are hottentot butts that Negroes like. One thing you little virgins need to learn is a sense of balance and proportion.
@Whammy,
There is no arguing or rationalizing with the Boner Test – it just is!
Oh, you don’t? Yeah, you couldn’t possibly like a woman like the one in this picture: http://michaelbyc.com/2012/06/05/the-elephant-in-the-room/
+10
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate skinny, but the skinny better be top-notch-skinny, like this one: http://www.boobgoddess.com/pics2/femjoy_susann_entrance02.jpg
I didn’t say she was te most beautiful girl in the world but just used her as an example of what a .7 ratio would be.
http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/fashion/celebrities-wearing-nude-bodysuits-gallery-1.1097630
@Whammy,
I just use the all important Boner Test, to inform my opinions, for example:
1. Katy Perry – Semi Boner
http://images4.fanpop.com/image/photos/16400000/Katy-Perry-katy-perry-16409079-1600-1200.jpg
Because of the small brains that can pass through them.
@Chi,
Right. My 3 kids head circumference at birth were 97+, 97+, 95 percentiles, so that really is important.
Of course I successfully encouraged the kid’s mothers to opt for Caesarean Section, in each case – so as to keep everything nice and tight down there
Yeah, but doesn’t that make for an unattractive scar ?
@Simon,
No, today they make a 4″ incision just below the bikini line – so it’s not noticeable on the beach, except if it’s clothing optional…
Personally, I love narrow hips – just not attached to a big waist. So W/H ratio still comes into play.
Excellent point, guys need to break through their attractiveness glass ceiling, the point at which they can no longer talk to a girl normally because she’s flummoxing you. Handy tip, chicks with nice bodies may have fucked up skin or faces, hot faces have big fupas and bad skin, lovely young skin may be tied to an ugly face or big ass. Think of it as the rock, paper, scissors of depedastalizing.
This is all true, and better written then most.
However, negs about her personal appearance are THE stereotype neg, and thus should only be used if she brings the subject up, which she isn’t likely to do until you’ve known her for a while. Negs about character/psychological flaws are generally safe, but as stated above, this requires that you observe her for a while.
Don’t underestimate the power of simply disagreeing with her, or failing to completely agree with her, about something. Nobody will call that a neg, but it has the same effect: demostrating that you won’t kowtow to her beauty. Pretty girls can be used to guys agreeing with them constantly. And you can do it almost as soon as you start talking.
But don’t be a nerd about it. If she mentions her iPhone, don’t lecture her on why some other model is technically better. Stay away from typical nerd topics, feign disinterest in them.
Example: she mentions a tv show she likes. say the writing isn’t as good as it was in an earlier season. If she actually requires you to back that up (which she likely won’t), make up some possibly BS reason. Be boldly confident in your BS reason. You’ve probably erred on the side of non-BS-ing in the past.
Example: she likes the bartenders tattoo. Say that sort of tattoo is becoming a cliche. Ditto with later BS-ing, make up a reason.
Example: she digs a band. say you used to like them “back in the day”.
You get the idea. Obviously, you can take this too far. The point is, try to disagree with her at least a bit. It’s a DHV which nobody will call a “neg”.
This is the technique that’s gotten me the furthest with women. I didn’t realize there was a name for it, but just being disagreeable builds interest and also improves conversation with strangers in general. Most dead silence comes from harmless statements that go unquestioned. If you can disagree without being a weirdo, it puts the person you’re talking to in a position of having to defend the general chatter they’re spewing. As it applies to women, they have to qualify for you.
But the point of this post was largely about cultivating an inner attitude, not necessarily negging. For that, physical flaws are always fair game. You can think of a girl as “big ears” all you want; it’s only tricky to find the right moment to say it out loud.
You don’t have to say anything but merely look at the flaw. Females know where their flaws are and will be selfconscious about it when they think you’ve noticed.
If she has big ears, pull on them and tell her they look cute the way they stick out so straight.
She is not even in my favorite position…..
Ha, nice… so you got to move her around then.
Look at it this way. If she was collared and attached to a short chain bolted to the floor, you could probably start weeping profusely at its perfection and still not come off too beta. Without the assumed position, it is an unfit alter to pay homage to feminine beauty. Standing next to her in an elevator should be done in the posture of a barbarian pagan, because without her submissive posture, it ought to produce thoughts of painting sacrilegious mustaches on the statue of Aphrodite. On the other hand, who can deny spread eagle is perfect?
In accord with Man in Miskesona was stating about the “disagree-with-her-game” it works like a charm if you do it smoothly, without going over the top and attempt to start a debate everytime you interact with a female. Let me tell you arguing with women is not sexy, making a statement, supporting your statement without INVESTING INTENSE EMOTIONS to the interaction is SEXY. Don’t argue with women,but hold your ground and always keep things lite and humerous.
Let the woman try and gauge your interest in her, that’s what they ultimately crave, a man with higher social standing but also a MAN of HIGH VALUE. If your giving out compliments in the hopes to seek her approval YOU WILL LOSE EVERYTIME. Women want to SEEK YOUR APPROVAL and want to be VVALIDATED by YOU the MAN. Sorry if I seem to be come across a little hard, but I believe when men possess the attitude of being a man, your whole perspective on life changes.
Concentrating on a woman’s flaws is an old school method that dudes I knew who were good with women used, and it worked like a charm back then and even now: USE IT TO YOUR ADVANTAGE GENTLEMEN. It keeps your interest or desire of any female at a balanced level. You will look at her as what she is aother female in the world of plenty.
OT, but important news for OLDER FATHERS – their children and grandchildren will live longer lives and have less cancer!!!
http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2012/06/05/1202092109
Holy shit. My father was old when I was born and I am typically mistaken for looking much younger.
@Chi,
Same here, my paternal grandfather was 58 yo when my father was born.
At 25 yo I was mistaken for 17, at 35 I was still regularly being carded, last year at 48, my son’s Montessori teacher guessed my age at 30 yo…
same here.
it’s now been confirmed – men should be banging girls but not committing/having children with them until at least middle age. sure, you might not live to see your grandkids, but their genes will be stronger.
srsly tho, science rox!!
Good news. My wife and I plan on having a beanhead this coming year. I’ll be one of those older, first time fathers.
@Tyrone,
Good for you dude! Welcome to the club!
I know this is probably a ridiculous question that’s going to get some dick replies, but can anyone give me an example, that’s not a “pick up line” of how they “approached” a chick?
I never, until reading about “game”, “alpha”, “beta”, etc…even thought about the idea of “approaching”. Either girls approached me, and I talked with them, or I happened to start a conversation with a girl in whatever circumstance.
Usually this would always be to my advantage as they were at places I/they would frequent so it would progress naturally over a frame of time, leading either to a gf situation, or running into each other at a party & a hook up, or quite frankly I really don’t know. I guess I possessed Alpha characteristics and traits until I “swallowed the red pill” and now I wonder too much about what it means to approach, I read too much into anything any woman says, or too little, and don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Before when I was naturally aloof it worked out great. Free breakfast, free sex, free any and everything I’d ask for without even asking. I mean, I was at a point where if a girl said she wouldn’t give me a bj mid sex I’d just get up put my clothes on and leave.
Now I’m on OKCupid with a few prospects, but don’t know how nor where to take things – without my previous tool, me drinking; rarely if ever were girls drunk, and I NEVER hook up with a girl who is obviously drunk beyond one or two drinks. I have had a few rules throughout the years and thats one of them.
I never had immediate intentions before with girls (cause I didn’t think they all were so fucking sexually actively always waiting for the right alpha sex fuck dude to take them behind the dumpster), but given any opportunity with meeting any number of them in any given circumstance or situation, I always knew “I will fuck her at some point,” or “I could fuck her, but I don’t want to put in the effort,” so I’d wait until the next and fuck those whether the next night or next month I told myself I would, without any effort beyond an occasional hello or cigarette, Sometimes this led me to, what I learned is “spinning plates”, sometimes this led me to fucking a girl I’d met a year prior, just from that first interaction with her.
Now I want to be able to, without alcohol, as I’ve “gamed” girls in bars/clubs when first studying this stuff to a lesser or greater success than expected, well, greater considering the effort I put into it, number closes, f closes, girls cheating on boyfriends (in front of their bf’s), 3somes out of no where, to the point it scared me, pretty much, even after I’d on my small campus conquered the few women I’d wanted to fuck – all of whom would come to me, as I didn’t really think about it or “try” to hook up with them like most guys I enjoyed watching tooling around, and then there was one kid who I guess was my nemesis b/c he fucked the two girls I actually really wanted to fuck and watched him game them, and even told them – this dude is so clearly gaming you, I give you two 3 months before he fucks you (inadvertantly helping him unfortunately), but was LJBF’d without them even having to say anything, due to me denying taking their bff virginity – thus became shunned and an asshole from that group; plus my complete lack of understanding of game at the time, and abundance with women at that point any way so it didn’t really matter beyond the fact I Was pissed I watched this kid manipulate these girls into sleeping with him, or watching him as I learned now “game” them.
But what I’m asking is, what the fuck is approaching a woman anyway? What is the best advice I can read on how to, or what to say, how to say it, to not do what I’m used to, which is waiting for them to come to me, and if I’m down, going for it, if I’m not denying them & reaping some odd satisfaction of conquering them that way.
I’m currently in a position where I have no social rapport, nothing to back me but my jobless self living at home in between school dealing with some health issues, just getting sober, family problems, legal issues, and just figuring shit out in general…
What is it that these apparent “Alpha’s” on all these sites that claim to be fucking X number of women a week do that I have not been doing, when without a doubt I’ve fucked more [attractive girls than any guy I know personally & had real long term relationships with extremely attractive girls where they were head over heels for me and I loved it, and them, (besides one super Alpha dude, who is in all reality an extremely gifted loser – which it looks like I’m about to become, seemingly following his same trajectory, as he was where I’m at when he was my age right now)…
Anyway, I want to understand how to know who and when to approach, where, and why, and why do I even want to? I’ve been happiest when I’m fucking either a few girls without any obligations, have a single exclusive FWB, or am spinning plates choosing what mate suits me best to go into a relatioship with.
But after this last relationship, with a 100% BPD gf, which led me to all these sites (like Shark, Dalrock, Rollo, etc…), I’m completely lost. I don’t know if I even desire girls anymore. Without sounding gay, it’s like I wish I were gay, so I didn’t have to put up with all of this game shit that apparently seems to be the only thing working for guys my age.
But part of me knows that can’t be true, because I’ve never been “Alpha” by what I considered to be alpha. I’m tall-ish, thin-ish, not in great or bad shape, talented in many areas, well versed in many topics, I’m the typical LEO if you wanna put it in a very generalized term, and yet I can’t comprehend, nor come to moral terms with just doing what all of these sites tell me to, even though they work, from firsthand experience. But I’ve been drinking when “game” works, and without drinking, I turn into more of a hermetic intellectual who slowly finds a girl that thinks she’s found a beta, then gets attached and realizes I’m what’s considered “alpha” and I get fed up with her shit and leave her devastated – after which she always becomes a bitter whore to later come back wanting more (still “in love” with me).
Or, I’m in some “Alpha” phase, and find a girl, who tries to turn me beta, and that doesn’t work so she does whatever she can to sabotage the relationship or find a way out like this last BPD one who couldn’t get me to bend to her will, and found herself submitting to me too frequently for her own feminist empowered hindbrain to comprehend.
In other words, I’ve been successful with women to the point of having failed with only the women I’ve actually wanted to be with, and every girl I’ve been with, if she wasn’t already slutty, after I leave her, becomes SUCH a slut, I literally have to laugh at them when I talk to them and hatefuck them and leave them after they announce they still love me. I have to tell them, if you still loved me you wouldn’t have had two cocks inside of you at once a few weeks ago, you’d call me instead, sort of deal.
So, not only have I now lost faith in monogamy, but I’ve lost desire to “approach” women, which I don’t even understand, as I’ve never had to do so before. The last time I approached a girl it was to bum a cigarette. Two weeks later she was knocking on my campus window saying she wanted to suck a real man’s cock. I had been in intellectual hermit mode for 6 months prior to that and welcomed it, and then began an Alpha binge of banging her and her roommates and every girl around that somehow heard about me.
This is a rant, but I don’t fucking get it. What did I do right when I wasn’t doing anything VS. what am I going to be doing wrong when I go out, now sober, trying to “day game” or “game” women, and what should I expect?
I’m extremely well versed at reading people and their body language, but I don’t know who to approach, nor why should I approach them, nor how or why I would even want to escalate to whatever point I may want to.
I mean, what is it that others are doing that I’m not, or what is it that attracted girls to me before that doesn’t seem to now?
Is it because after so many encounters with them and seeing their true colors and learning about them and then having it all confirmed and reconfirmed by game that I have grown to hate women, yet still be attracted to them?
A recent post on here was about escorts or prostitutes. I’m finding myself more attracted to the idea of just paying for sex when I want it and have the time and money, instead of investing so much effort like these blogs seem to make me think I need to do to make women want me.
They wanted me before, have wanted me before, and I assume would still want me if I had that feel I wanted them. Now I think they see in me that I don’t want them personally, I just want them to want me so I can have regular sex. It’s like love has been deleted from my consciousness, and since then, all I see are sluts waiting for a cock to bust a nut down their throat (for the 40th time, which doesn’t count b/c for girls there are different number systems for different scenarios).
Maybe it’s the BPD ex and all the shit she’s caused me that’s making me feel this way, but I have to ask, can anyone give me a full on descriptive example of day game, without alcohol, where they picked up a girl, approached her, got her to like you right away, and you didn’t feel at all weird that you just “Gamed” a girl?
Am I just a beta fool who has somehow slept with a lot of women? Or am I just getting over the BPD and what insanity that caused me?
Any advice or help would be appreciated from anyone that reads this long tirade.
Because, I can no longer play asshole game, I don’t know how, and I have to be sober for literally the life of me, and I haven’t been with a single woman sober, except for the few I let myself fall into an exclusive relationship with – and this last one nearly killed me.
Is it that some people are right in that “you’re just meeting the wrong girls”? Or am I right that ALL girls are the wrong one’s, as I’ve been with all types, and they all have shown me the same fucking thing, and I’ve just been like a gateway drug for most of them, or them a gateway drug for me, trying to reveal to me the crimson arts, like hey look this is how we are and we know you can do it so go be a fucking manwhore like we are sluts! back when I was the “bad” guy with an inner poetic soul or some bullshit.
Sorry if this makes no sense. Just trying to make sense of it all. Game is a hassle. When I was ignorant I got pussy, pussy I wanted, when I was confident. Now I’m not confident, and I laugh at guys I watch gaming girls, but then I see it work, and have to think, WTF, I may as well just go hit on every girl I find attractive, although I don’t evne know what hitting on a girl means as I’ve never “hit on” a girl that I’m aware of beyond just talking to them.
Does any of this make sense?
Someone, who has progressed from “beta” to “alpha” explain to me WHY, and the process you went through, not unplugging, but enacting your knowledge, and doing so without social lubricants like alcohol?
fuck. fuck. fuck. butthex, i like the gbfm posts, he’s got it down, but does he actually get down with girls? are all people on these sites lying trolls? i don’t know.
[heartiste: first, change your email handle. it’s totally weepy-eyed beta.]
Yeah,
try “gonnadoyou”. Its got the Swiss army knife feature of a threat to men and a promise to women.
Oh, and its kinda foreign sounding like you’re not from around here too. Instant DHV.
wow that was way too long: summation: what’s the point in gaming girls if you’ve unintentionally been doing so your entire life and it’s worked up UNTIL you’ve learned game and women now appear to be detestable. whore’s for $ seems more desireable than attempting to game. give me advice on sober game. sober getting chicks. someone who doesn’t need alcohol or a bar or a club, but who picks up women regularly and keeps them spinning
The Krauser daygame modle. I think it helps to be sober with that.
I actually did the same exact mental routine as the OP when I started out with game, except I would always preface it with “She wants me. But look at those ___” where the blank would be some flaw that I thought was detracting from her realizing her full potential.
The emphasis was on the first part, especially when making eye contact with a random girl walking by. The noticing the flaw part came about naturally after the mental response of “she wants me” became automatic.
Heh. Thermal exhaust port.
I’ve been doing this for a couple years now. As soon as my brain registers that a girl is attractive, I immediately start looking for flaws.
I like this post, but it went in a different direction than I had wished. What I assumed it would say is that to achieve dominance over a woman, find her intellectual and psychological flaws.
Most women are hung up on all the self-help mumbo jumbo you see on “Oprah,” “Dr. Phil” and read about in countless books. So they’ll usually tell you what they’re trying to “improve” on any given day. What you need to do here is come off as an “expert” on that. Then you become a “mentor,” which gives you the upper hand. I know several women who have had “mentors,” all of whom they’ve somehow ended up fucking (to their own bewilderment, of course).
This can also be a way to descend into the friend zone if you’re not careful. But when a woman feels comfortable enough to share her flaws, she’s usually comfortable enough to screw you. You need to be able to talk a good game to pull this off. Some knowledge of pop psychology helps.
Let me share my favorite “concept.” One woman said she fucked easy enough but wasn’t into that anymore because she heard (somewhere) that deep down she was afraid of “intimacy.” I suggested that when it comes to getting with a guy, instead of going from 0 to 60, go from 0 to 30, and by the way, here’s how it’s done, let’s start with just massages and take it slow…
Awesome. I was at a book store yesterday, and there were a lot of hot women there, and I was just unable to open (I guess I noticed a lack of receptivity). You posted a day too late. Definitely going to work on this.
Open? You have to close! Always be closing. They’re out there just waiting to give you their pussy
her forehead slopes far too much
besides the buck teeth.
And this should be quite feminist-friendly advice, since all human beings are flawed and by seeing the flaws in attractive women you are seeing them not as sexual objects but as fellow human beings.
Ask her why she chose that shade of blonde? Tell her a reddish tone would suit her face more. That’s all you have to say, no insults etc. 95% of blondes dye their hair. Tell her you love the shoes but she should have chosen different ones for that outfit.
Negging is best when delivered in the form of a backhanded compliment, something women excel at. You set off her insecurities that way, get her trying to qualify herself to you, and since you can neg like a chick, she thinks you’re one of those magic men who “get” women.
Go look in the mirror. You omegas have so many defects and are so self conscious that you can’t “neg’ anyone. You can’t pick out a female’s faults because you’re obsessed with your own.The female is looking at you and mentally laughing and doesn’t care what you think or say about her. Why would a female care what some cubicle working 5’5″ geek who dresses like his mommy buys his clothes at Walmart care about what you think of her. You can’t “neg” her without coming off as some snot nosed nasty little boy. Now you’re not just some nonentity but a nasty litle punk pervert who all the girls avoid at the office and make complaints about. You omegas need to face reality and understand your place in the pecking order.
My state of mind is generally: “this hot bitch is invading my lebensraum”.
Hitler game. It works!
This sounds like an incredibly sad way to go through your life. Why would you be looking directly for people’s flaws? Once you turn your focus on something that’s all you really see. Everyone has plenty of flaws. Maybe you should start taking a look at every single one of your own flaws? Why would you put so much focus on something like this…
I think a guy that has to go to such extreme lengths to become comfortable around woman or with their “attainability” might need therapy more than he needs the “find every flaws method”.
On a side note, you can fall in love with someone because of their flaws. There are things some people might find as flaws that you find absolutely enthralling. http://postmasculine.com/7-flaws-i-like-in-a-woman
Honestly
” If you socialize with a girl and gain insight into her personality, you have even more data from which to devise withering, silent judgments.”
Sounds like a horribly sad way to walk around the world.
It sounds like someone either isn’t male or has rationalized himself out of remembering how tough approach anxiety was before he gave up on trying to open the hottest of the hottest women, if he ever tried to get the very best.
Heartiste’s point is that men are more confident in talking to women whom they might worry are out of their league, because they won’t be nervous about the women being out of their league. The point was also made that women tend to be more sexually open to guys who have made them feel like they’re flawed and not so sexy to him.
So there’s nothing “horribly sad” about “walking around the world” knowing this secret.
Just last night an 18 year old with a bad sunburn was with her friends at my place and I took a look at her legs and said “Gross, that’s an ugly burn”.
I gave it a second so it would sink in that I might not find her sexually attractive, then I said “Take the skirt off (mini-skirt) and I’ve got some lotion I can apply that might stop your legs from being permanently scarred”.
The mini-skirt came off in a second. Actually, 20 seconds because it was so tight she had to slowly peel it off. Then she laid down on her stomach on my bed and I applied the life-saving lotion.
On another note, it seems there are a lot of alphas in the Secret Service:
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/06/19/exclusive-secret-service-agents-partied-like-rock-stars-on-obamas-vineyard-vacation/#ixzz1yFl6r5sZ
See how we’re supposed to hate them because “they’re always bringing young women back to the homes they rent”.
This isn’t a secret, it’s a mindfuck.
Wanna know what was cool? Not having to do all this bullshit and still be super successful with girls. Have fun with this technique though lol.
[heartiste: you write like a manboob. nipples chafed today?]
It seems like the average response when people here don’t agree with you is “You’re gay! You’re beta! You’re a girl! You’re a feminazi! No way you are a guy! You are weak!”.
[if the baby blue moccasins fit…]
All the maturity makes me want to immediately align my world view right along.
[obey my maturitaaaaaaahhh!]
gay
gay
Because seeing flaws humanizes a woman when everything from Oprah to every magazine around teaches us women are untouchable perfect goddesses that are the saints of western culture.
See, I was never taught that, you probably watched too much crappy TV.
This is all just bitter whining and overcompensation. If you really see women as “untouchable perfect goddesses” again, you probably need therapy a lot more than you need this rather unhealthy lens of viewing the world.
I’m sorry your comprehension skills are so poor. I clearly said I DIDN’T see women as goddesses, hence me justifying the original post. I said that the media teaches us this, which is why this was good advice.
I know I shouldn’t really feed trolls on here (which you clearly are) but you’re not making your points at all. All you’re doing is projecting ideas and throwing out random insults (“you need therapy!!”).
I’m writing, though, to let you know that each time someone like you writes in, it proves the main thrust of this blog as well as Roosh’s — namely that American women are the most entitled bitches ever to deface the Earth and need to be knocked down a few pegs.
And since you insulted me, here’s one back at you: fuck you, bitch. Go get a sleeve tattoo like your ugly hipster friends.
“Thermal exhaust port”? Are you intentionally dropping a Star Wars reference to appeal to the nerds on here?
I thought he was referring to farting. The exhaust port haha
it worked!
Actually, heat seeking missiles in general seek a thermal exhaust port. Its military speak actually.
I don’t think it’s a particularly sad way to go about life at all and I’m going to practice it and hope it works.
I do wonder though, what if I find her flaw(s) and still like her anyway, wouldn’t I deem her more valuable now because, hey I like her, in spite of her issues, therefore her value must be high.
And yes, before people rush to tell me, I know its a fucking beta mindset.
If you’re looking for a flaw almost everyone has a small indentation in the back of the skull from when they were born, Massage her head a little and notice the dent. “Hey, have you noticed this DENT in the back of your head?” , girl: “What!, what are you talking about, OMG! I’m dented” FFF: “I had a feeling I was shopping at a scratch and dent sale” Girl: “It’s not funny!” calls mom “Did you drop me when I was a baby??” FFF: “It’s perfectly molded to my hand, I think god just gave you a bj handle” Girl: slurp slurp slurp
@FFF,
NICE…
Massage her head a little and notice the dent
The Hoverhands on here never get that far lol
As a guy gets older, one seems to notice a woman’s character flaws jumping out even quicker than her physical ones. These are held in greater dismay.
This is the same thing that girls do when they see a girl that’s competitively hot compared to them. They immediately scroll through all the flaws and bring them up with their girlfriends to try to make themselves feel better.
[heartiste: you’re missing the point. it’s not about making oneself feel better. it’s about training oneself away from kneejerk deifying of women so that the proper seductive attitude can be fruitfully cultivated.]
In both cases, it’s harmful to train your brain like this.
[cite? seems alpha males feel pretty darned skippy when they’re exercising their expansive powers of judgment.]
All you’re doing is setting yourself up to be insecure
[niceguys who flatter girls all the time are more insecure than jerks who tease them about their flaws.]
and paranoid that other people are judging you just as harshly,
[niceguys are paranoid. jerks don’t give a shit what people think of them. or, if they do, they learn to control that feeling and master it.]
and it turns into this big cycle of who can hide themselves better.
[jesus, you’re off the reservation. mentally noting women’s flaws has nothing to do with losing control of a relationship.]
It’s a winner attitude to have for men,
[ftfy]
it ruins your mind for relationships,
[describe this ruin.]
and it makes one’s personality less desirable and enticing.
[that’s just something niceguys say to make themselves feel better.
see what i did there?]
And how is that any different than you omegas doing the things you do to make yourselves feel better? And anyone who has to spend a lot of time figuring out strategies and nonsense like “game” on how to pick up girls is an omega and no amount of teaching them how to pick up girls will ever work.
There are a millionj blogs on the Net and every moron with an axe to grind or who is selling some snake oil can claim anything they want.
You think you’re an Alpha? Then you’re going to have to pass my test. We’ll see how good you are at picking up good looking high quality females. No one has ever accepted my challange which should tell you something.
Fallacy this post and entire blog makes: Lowering someone else’s self-esteem (whether in your own mind or theirs) raises your own.
[heartiste: welly well well, what do we have here? ah, a hater trollgirl. in fact, you are quite wrong. peruse the archives for your edification. study after study shows that we can indeed feel better about ourselves by drawing comparisons to lower status peers. furthermore, women are indeed more attracted to men who challenge their (normally inflated) self-conceptions. so you are spinning bullshit, and as such, you have entered the Chateau target designator zone.]
To all the intelligent, open-minded readers of this site, buy into this at your own cost.
[this blog is free of charge, wunderfag.]
Also, I have two questions for you: 1) Would you ever want to BE Heartiste?
[there can be only one.]
2) How long are you going to justify the hatred and misdirection he sells
[hatred is just a word losers like to spew when they hear things that upset their sensitive souls.]
with the idea that ‘you can separate the good from the bad’?
[good and bad to the bone.
ps isn’t there a kleenex box waiting for you to weep through?]
It’s not lowering someone’s self-esteem in one’s own mind, rather it is about seeing women as the flawed creatures they are. Next time you seem to be infatuated by a pretty girl – doubt your optimistic assessment of their worth…and it will lead you to the truth.
Yes, it does lead hatred and cynicism in the short run – when you see women for what they are. I will take reality over optimistic fantasy any day!!
Golly Tim,
You remind me of Wiley Coyote who runs into a rock with a tunnel painted on it. Things are not what they seem and women look too damn good for men who often fall in love at first sight. Throttle it back here too , road meat.
@Zac,
You’ve linked to this PostMasculine site a few times, so are you in fact shilling for them or what?!
Or are you actually Mark Hanson:
http://postmasculine.com/author/admin
IRL I know a Sex and Relationship Counselor and he is a total Beta! His wife dominates him completely and uses him like a doormat, even cheating openly on him. Yet he dishes out daily advice to Beta/Omega types, on how to be more like him, and how to be a doormat. Not helpful.
I’ve known many in the psychotherapy community and the stereotype that they are all in need of help or medication is COMPLETELY TRUE!
@Zac, so you’re pimping another man’s link? Might as well be holding his dick for him. So, you’re a savior of lost souls are you? How sweet of you. However we’re no longer lost souls thanks to the likes of Heartiste. Way I see it, if you’re a strong, confident man and you stumble onto something like Heartiste that you didn’t agree with, you’d just shrug it off as you would if you were hanging with your buddies and they said something you didn’t agree with. But if you’re sweet and sensitive and vulnerable to your own inner fears, you lash out. If we need your help, we already know what link you pimp and we can visit there. Your job is done here. No need to belittle yourself any further by staying here.
[heartiste: these losers hawking “post-masculine” or “post-alpha” blogs are nothing but robert blys preaching rewarmed boilerplate. they think their platitudes are fresh and their outlook is insightful. they’ve only been cropping up lately because they’ve found a market niche to exploit in adopting the supposed contrarian pose to player blogs. but their message is the same old song and dance tradcons and femcunts have been dishing out since the relationship advice columnist became an american institution. their biggest sin would be the lying if it wasn’t first their dullness.]