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“Would you be serious for a moment?”

“Are you like this with everyone?”

“You’re such an asshole!”

“You really think highly of yourself.” (translation: “I really think highly of you”)

“I can never get a straight answer from you.”

“Oh GOD you’re INFURIATING.”

“You never tell me what you’re feeling.”

“That’s not gonna work on me.”

“You think you can just waltz in here like nothing’s wrong.”

“Why do you have to make this so difficult?”

“It’s just, I dunno, I need a little something more from you.”

“I know you love me.” (translation: “you know I love you”)

***

If you hear any of these giddily exasperated complaints from a girl, you’re doing it right.

Just don’t actually address what she’s asking of you, or you’ll kill her love outright. Simply smile, and know that your ship of state is steady and on course to vaginaland.

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