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All the proof anyone should need that the typical beta male can rise above his SMV station and snag a girl “out of his league” (as SMV leagues are conventionally defined (often superficially)) is seen in the ease with which the same beta who wilts under the effervescent glow of a beauty will effortlessly interact with an unattractive woman.
This contrast is so stark that one may wonder if he is observing the same man at play, or if a charming mofo doppelbänger took his place to smoothly banter with the plain jane.
The awkwardness of our intrepid beta, as he bumbles and bobbles his chance with a cutie, sweating and spazzing and spitting the lamest lines, is defied with equal verve by the smoothness in body and nimbleness of bantz he brings to casual conversations with lesser girls.
And the girls’ reactions are predictable. The cuties will shuffle their feet, look embarrassed for the man, and lean away to make an exit on the slimmest pretext. But the mediocre missus’s, they are bewitched by the Lord Byron before ’em. Such a charmer!, they cream.
This, to me, proves that the spirit of a skirt chaser lurks within every beta male. He just needs to access it, to summon the ZFG-man from the depths when he’s most needed, during those times when the HBBubbleRear nears the boundary of his phallic frontier.
williamk independently corroborates the theme of this post:
Its important to underscore the subconscious roots of this stuff. Most guys assess themselves and then behave accordingly to their (often self-imposed) pecking order. Most guys will naturally have alpha body language around a guy a 6 inches shorter than them, or a girl they don’t find attractive. It takes these exaggerated status disparities for the average man to accept he can act with self-possession. The key is squashing the insecurity that happens when the status gap is closer, or even reversed.
Self-possession. That is the core concept. Some call it outcome independence. Some call it ZFG. Others, the “aloof alpha attitude“. Or, charming jerkboyhood. Old timers call it, “devil-may-care”. Hardliners use the term “uncaring assholery“. PUAs prefer the term “amused mastery“. Over time and space, the idea is the same: the man who wants it least is the man who gets the most.
Beta males have it in them to be great womanizers. They are at ease talking with plain women or or feminists or catladies or black women. They only freeze up and suffer mental cramps when they talk with hotties.
Now, the trick is to be that self-possessed man when it matters (courting hot babes). The smoothness that the beta brings to his face time with dull-looking girls is the same smoothness that will delight hotter girls.
The good news is that, if you know and recognize within yourself a fledgling ZFG-lord who makes an appearance when it *doesn’t* matter, then you know that the possibility exists — as assuredly as your Inner Cadboy exists — that you can be *THAT GUY* when it suits you. You just have to know how to coax your Inner Cadboy from his slumber when the need arrives.
The trick, then, condenses to something I’ve written about before, and which is stated explicitly in one of the less-heralded Poon Commandments:
X. Ignore her beauty
The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be.
Ignoring a woman’s beauty. Easier said than done? Eh, don’t be a pessimist. Sure, you’re trying to upturn millennia of evolutionarily-carved male limbic emanations, but vee haf vays to help you control your limbido.
- Bang hotties. The more hotties you bang, the less each new hottie you meet will leave you tongue-tied. Penetrating hotties in the only way that matters strips them (heh) of their mystery, their allure, and their power. Every successful affair with a hottie will make you more comfortable in their company. Of course, this is putting the tart before the whores. It’s tough to learn how to bang hotties by…banging hotties. (Unless you get lucky and can springboard off a fortuitous lay to more strategically planned lays.) Which brings us to…
- Don’t bang uglies. The more uglies you bang out of desperation, the more you psychologically groom yourself to believe you can only get, or deserve, uglies. It’s a bad habit that you shouldn’t indulge. Which brings us to…
- Change your mental state. No more flattery, no more thirst, no more hot babes’ dirty looks. It’s easier to ignore a woman’s beauty when you stop mentally rehearsing how beautiful she is, and focus instead on slotting her in the same place you put everyone, male or female: a random stranger who must earn your curiosity.
- Total recall. When you approach a hottie, allow your eyes to cloud over as your mind drifts to sharp memories of the times you held court at a social event, or flirted like a champ with a girl you weren’t interested in. You will be at once in and out of the moment, acutely aware of your environment, but also “someplace else”, enjoying the warm glow of a memory of yourself as a king among cads. This memory will leach out and express itself in your attitude and behavior.
- Be cool. This takes practice, but it boils down to “don’t try so hard”. If you tell yourself, “I’m not here to impress anyone” — and saying these little motivations out loud to yourself is more effective than repeating them in your head — then you really will stop trying to impress people, because each moment you slip up and appease your target of interest, you will immediately be whisked back to that promise you made to yourself, and the silent shame will provide a rapid course correction.
- Focus on her flaws. It’s cheesy, but it works. Zoom in on a facial flaw, such as a mole or a funny earlobe. Do the same for a weird behavioral tic she might display. Smile to yourself as you mull on those flaws of hers. Your smile will aggravate her, and dilate her pussy. With practice, you’ll announce those flaws of her in the form of a backhanded compliment (neg), and completely flip the script.
- Date around. The more girls you concurrently date, the less each new girl will wow you. Fallback options defintely take the edge off meeting and seducing hot chicks.
“Invariably, [the men] all say they remember being cool as … they just wanted to shoo it away, or tell it to go find the nearest bug zapper.”
I remember distinctly as a young lad, 6th grade, this concept hitting me like a ton of bricks… “Why do all the girls I think are ugly ‘like’ me and not the ones I think are hot? I need to start treating the hot ones like I treat the ugly ones.” And the rest is history, a fond one at that!
Rule #8: Treat the hot girls like the ugly girls.
Remember it, burn it indelibly in your hippocampus, and let it guide you through life. As dictums go, this one is biblical.
Finally, some wise words from an older CH post on the topic.
- Get into a line of work where you are ordering beautiful women to do your bidding.
If you can’t get sex with hot babes, the next best thing is authority. Fashion photographers are not known as casanovas for nothing.
- Hang out with hot girls when they’re wasted and pissing themselves and vomiting.
This is a pretty good cure for one-itis. Don’t worry about supply. America is churning them out like cheap factory products lately.
- Never stop macking.
The life of the lady’s man is always in forward motion. The day you slow down is the day you start misremembering your ex as hotter than she really was. By keeping women forever in your orbit, by hitting on them day and night and year after year, with intention or without, you remind yourself of the corporeal, earthly nature of women’s greatest asset, of their insufferable and dispiriting interchangeability, and your heart is steeled for the endless battle.
Finally, the Rule to Rule all Rules:
Rule #9: Act like you’ve banged her.
If Rule #8 is biblical, Rule #9 is primordial.
Approach every cute girl as if you have already supped of her tuft. This is the most valuable mental trick I can give you. Visualize her naked body succumbing in writhing pleasure to your pherocious phang. Visualize her spent body unable to walk afterward. Visualize the cocksureness you possess from soiling the purity of this princess. Smirk knowingly that you have known her in fullness. Visualization of this nature will inevitably manifest in a change in your mannerism, and in thrall she will come to believe almost as strongly as you do that you have banged her, though this will strike her odd, but nevertheless arouse her to make reality of imagination.