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The Chick Bump

A reader reminded me of a classic female IOI (Indicator of Interest): the Chick Bump. (don’t get excited Captain Obvious, not that kind of bump)

If a girl keeps “accidentally” bumping into you while you walk together, she’s incipiently aroused.

“Accidental” physical contact NEVER happens if the girl isn’t into the man. In fact, girls are hard-wired to go out of their way to avoid even the briefest brushes of physical contact with a beta male. Prime Lubricity girls are very careful to avoid giving lsmv men the wrong idea. Girls would much rather low value men keep their distance than have to fend off their clumsy advances. Accidental elbow touching could excite a blue balled incel to a rash solicitation.

Therefore, if the girl in your company bumps into you more than once, assume she wants your D. Pass Ho, collect 200 tingles. This is the female version of kino escalation, and it means you are cleared for philandering.

54 Responses to “The Chick Bump”

  1. vfm#7634 says:

    “(don’t get excited Captain Obvious, not that kind of bump)”

    Chick Bump >>> Other Chick Bump

    Like

    • oink says:

      buns > ovens

      Liked by 1 person

      • oink says:

        only when your children have children you have made it

        Like

      • trav777 says:

        this is 100% right and one of the things I do to test interest. Walk close enough to bump into them. If they don’t like it you will know pretty quickly as they increase the shoulder distance…as you move closer they will make a path toward the edge of the sidewalk even. Women are overt if you know what to look for.

        Any physical contact from a woman is a gold plated IOI. Physical contact if she’s not interested is an anathema; she will like you even less after.

        Like

  2. NostalgiaMan says:

    Every time I go to donate blood or make a dentist visit, the fat sows always press their bodies against me very tightly.

    Please tell me that’s not an IOI.

    [CH: it could be. good news tho: it could also be the eternal bane of fat women: an inability to maneuver their mounds of corpulence in tight spaces.]

    Like

  3. Pill says:

    Asian chick I’m still with atm, when we first met, she was bumping into my shoulder constantly. Next date, walkin around a convention, intermittent shoulder, elbow bumping. I knew It was on.

    The golden ticket is. When the shoulders bump, and stay smooshed together for a few seconds. You both know. One of the nicest feelings without saying a thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Drack says:

    Happened to me today. And I know for a fact that this chick wants the D-rack. She’s told me as much.

    CH is dead on with this one.

    Like

  5. […] The Chick Bump […]

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  6. Waffles says:

    Happened this wknd multiple times in front of her mate guarding bf. Didn’t feel like being bothered with any drama so ignored. It happened more.

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    • vfm#7634 says:

      Go ahead and game her. Push-pull, keep her intrigued. If she’s interested enough, she’ll try to monkey-branch over to you.

      Like

    • vfm#7634 says:

      (Also, if she’s seriously interested, she won’t let her bf know what’s up. Drama happens when they’re attracted but don’t realize it yet, and so forget to act discreet with you.)

      Like

  7. mendo says:

    Prime Lubricity. . .Wasn’t that a Queensryche song?

    I experienced the chick bump at work. They were giving out hoodies and as I was looking for a size big enough for me, female coworker sidled up close to me despite the table being big and open enough to access the hoodies from anywhere. Grazed my arm and what stood out was that she didn’t recoil or say the “oops, excuse me.” I knew there was something to it. It was a lengthy bump as far as bumps go.

    She’s married, though. To some beta and I know this because she kept her last name.

    [CH: the lingering bump. when you get one of those, start unrolling the condom.]

    Like

    • PBR Streetgang says:

      What’s this – game phrenology? I should read the bumps on her head to determine if she likes me?

      Like

  8. Ripp says:

    great analysis on the manipulation flowchart of women: denial > victim > confrontation

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Waffles says:

    First date bang Bingo:

    “We’re not having sex”
    “We’re not going back to your place”
    “I’m not that type of girl”
    “I never do this”
    “Fuck me harder”

    Like

  10. theasdgamer says:

    How do you handle a beta bait bump?

    [CH: context? (i’d go with the tried and true assume the sale tactic: “hey hands off the merchandise” or “you like being in my personal space?”)]

    Like

    • rocko says:

      Wear a t shirt that says “Come at me bro!”

      Like

    • john milton says:

      “Looking’s for free, but touching will cost you…”

      Liked by 1 person

    • theasdgamer says:

      Context: I get the BBB in bars, from Mrs. Gamer, and just when I’m running errands from another customer. (Yeah, Mrs. Gamer tries to get me to bite on her boob bait that she bumps me with. I just smiled amusedly and masterfully and tell her to not get pervey. She giggles and tries harder.)

      I like your answer, CH. Now what do you do when you’re dancing and some hottie is turned so that she is shoving one boob into your chest? This is actually pretty frequent and I suspect that it’s been talked about on Jezebel so that it’s in a lot of girls’ rolodex.

      Like

  11. theasdgamer says:

    I was out walking and was waiting on traffic…two cars went past, but a jeep stopped and waited for me to cross…it was a mail jeep and the mailgirl was grinning broadly and lasering me…an obvious flirtation and we’ve flirted lightly before….I suggested she go walking with me once and she declined in a way that upqualified me and indicated her disappointment that she couldn’t go (she was delivering mail).

    Like

  12. Greg Eliot says:

    I like it when the well-endowed gals find a reason to stand close, shoulder-to-shoulder, and find many excuses to turn towards you, even when they’re not trying to converse.

    And then the wry nonchalant smiles. 😉

    Like

  13. notsure says:

    Continuous bumping by tall hot redhead at a concert last weekend…first after she moved over next to me when show started (from the other side of her two guy friends), then still after she moved in front of me. This went on for 30 or 40 minutes, including hand to hand contact a couple of times. Was going to introduce myself after the show since it was loud but she left early…Either I blew it or it was really accidental. It was crowded in there.

    Like

    • mendo says:

      If you’re in a loud venue, go with the pantomiming instead of talking. You can have a lot of fun with it and if she likes where it’s going, will join in.

      Like

    • Captain Obvious says:

      “Was going to introduce myself after the show since it was loud but she left early…”

      When you’re freshmen or sophomores at a fraternity/sorority mixer, you can afford to play a little coy with the chick, because you’ve got another two or three years to track her down and try for more.

      But at something like a concert, you gotta carpe diem and demand some contact info right then and there.

      In a nation of 300 Million people, you cross paths with these chicks for just a few precious moments and then you NEVER see them again.

      Carpe diem, muh bruthaz, carpe diem.

      Like

      • APL says:

        “This went on for 30 or 40 minutes, including hand to hand contact a couple of times”

        If you’re side by side, take her hand, turn toward her, put her hand on your shoulder, take the other hand and and place it on your other shoulder. look into her eyes, and mime with a slight smile, hi!

        See where it goes from there.

        Or you could take a leaf out of the book of the European Islamite invaders. Get your friends to surround her and crowd rape her.

        Like

  14. rocko says:

    A related move is you and her sitting together and she “accidentally” rubs her chest all over your arm. Maybe she has an itch or maybe she wants you to check for cancerous tumors.

    Like

  15. Anonymous says:

    What do you do to progress things after you get a bump?

    Like

  16. Anonymous says:

    The best way to play ANY action from a female is to assume it’s deliberate.

    The problem is that we as men take this and throw it through a nice guy filter.

    Don’t assume. Women are like men.

    Women are deliberate in action. Devious in communication. If a woman touches you… she wants you to fkkk her RIGHT NOW.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. […] Source: Heartiste […]

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  18. Doktor Jeep says:

    You know what else will bump you when it’s interested in you?
    Sharks.

    Like

  19. cortesar says:

    When she “accidentally’ touches you with her tight warm body and you believe that life is an endless adventure, an empire on which sun never sets
    That is called youth and there is nothing that can equal its power that has known no defeat

    Like

  20. Jaded Jurist says:

    Just started new jorb, have to work with colleagues again, sigh.

    Yesterday, female colleague, a young Arabesque research MD, who I genuinely like* and admire, rests her arm on my shoulder as she leans in to look at my screen. My legal instincts and my White Male instincts simultaneously recoil internally. WTF do I do to end this, pronto?

    I made a move that worked, but I’m wondering what my esteemed Chateau neighbors would have done.

    * not in that way. No brown woman, even one who throws herself at me, stands a chance.

    Like

    • plumpjack says:

      call HR. her leaning on your shoulder was clear cut sexual harassment. hire an attorney. take them to the cleaners. #metoo

      Like

      • Jaded Jurist says:

        I hear the courts are very inclined to side with straight White Christian males when the perpetrators are female minorities.

        Like

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