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da GBFM needs no introduction, but does need a Pulzlolzllolzzlitzer. Reprinted in full:

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TO EE HOW WELL ALL OF YOU BEETATTZ BUNGHOELRZ HAVE BEEN STSUDYDYTING lzozlzozlzlzz

lzozozlzozo da gbfm quiz:

1. The best way to bernankify a woman is through her:
a) nose hole
b) ear hole
c) mouth hole
d) butthozlzoozlz
e) gina hoelez
f) zlzozozlzolzozozoz

2. Tukker MAx rhryems with
a) Goldman sax
b) ben bernanke
c) sosdoomy
d) feminisst writer
e) sextrrive tapingz of buttehtx

3. The proper spellinzg of butthext is:
a) buttheext
b) butetehtxtxtx
c) butetehxtxtxt
d) buetetxlxoooozozoz
e) butetehrolozozozozozoz

4. The neoeocnths promote butyhe buttehxt so as to
a) desoul your womenz
b) beernakify your owmenz and ruin them as motehrz
c) pwn your owmenz and addict them to buttehxt
d) plant the butthextual longing seed that leads to divorce
e) detsory the fmaily to put your chcildren in beernaneke day care
f) all of da above zlzozooozlzoz

5. The following neoenthcts faought and were injured in the Middle East warz:
a) Jonah Goldbergz
b) BEn BErnnanke
c) Bill Crrystal
d) Jonah Goelebrgz mom lucianne goldbergz
e) bene shapriorz
d) none of teh abaovez lzozozozozoozoz

6. Sigmund Freud stated that the one question that puzzled him most was “What do women want?” The famous polymath poet/psychologist GBFM figured it out circa 2011. According to the great GBFM, women want:
a) beta fucks and alpha buckz
b) beta bucks and betasz fucks
c) alpha fucks and alpha fucks
d) alpha fucks and beta bucks
e) alpha fucks, alpha buckz, beta bucks, an all your moneyz too zlozlzlzozoz

7. The best way to gt a publishing deal with a publishing house run by women, or to be featured in a consertaive magazine article penned by women is to:
a) write exlated rhyming poetry
b) butthext a girl and tape it secrtely without her ocnctnt conthent
c) write a story with plot, values, and honor, like homer’s odyssey
d) write a shakeparean sonnet with imanbic pentaammeneterz and a couplet dat ryems at da end lzozlzlzozozoz

8. The difference between modern ministers and pimps is dat
a) pimps will not charge you for past use of a pussy
b) pimps are not fronting a divorce regime which transferz money from menz to owmenz and the state at gunpoint
c) a pimp cannot garnish your wagesz if yo ho beocme preggeersenenlzlzlzlzo
d) a pimp does not ask for donationz
e) a pimp doesn’t claim he’s doing god’s work by grating you temporal use of a pussy in esxhange for past, present, and future wages
f) all of da aboveez zlozlozlzlzozozoz

10. If a womanz is a 3 and 7 alphas pump and dump her in collegez, she will do the math and conldue she is a
a) 3-7 = -4
b) 7-3 = 4
c) 7+3=10 I AM A TEN ZLZOZOZOZO!!!!!!

11. BOUNS BONUS BOENERUS QUETSION EXTRASZ CREDITZ: Chivalry is good because:
a) It gets betas to pay for what alpahs got for free hwen it was younger hotter tighter twnety pounds lighter
b) It guarantees that there will be men with assetetzzz that can be rapaed via dirrvoece
c) granpda said so, “when i was your age son,” i was married and supporting a family. man up and marry da whos!!! lzozloz”

12. The chronalogical chroniloogical chronological economic relationshpipz between ass and assets is:
a) da bankerz get your wife’s ass in college (as thy sefctrievly tape her doeusling in a buttehxtual buttehxting sessisin like tuukker max rheyems woith godlman saxxx) and your assets after divorce
b) your wife givez her azz butthoele away for free in college, and then chagegegrs you moneyz (assetts) just to look at it
c) your wife is butthurt after her ass is plundered in college and den she takes her revenge by plundering your assettsst
d) da bankerz deosul your wife in college by bebenrnakaifying her in her buttholez ass, and den dey program her to transfer your assets to them, fgruataleyfliey transferring your assets out theorugh her bngohole and into their beenrbeeknake bank acocuntz zlzozozozoz
e) all of da above zlozzolzozoz

FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN QUESTSIOZNZZZZZ!!!! lzozozozoozoz

ESSAY QUESTION: Describe thee relationship between usury and sodomy. Those who cite Milton, Dante, and other historical sources and figures will be given higher scorezz zlzozolzlozlzozlzzozozozozlz

lzozozozolzolz bonus nboenerz wuqestsionz:
#11. I like dating aemrican womenz and western womenz beacues:
a) i like paying for what otherz got for fre when it was younger hotter tghtr twnety poundz lighterz lzozooz
b) i like paying for rental carsz after i return them
c) i like urinalz dat make me pay and make small talk each time i pee
d) i like suiting up in a hazmat suit, self-contained breathing apparatus, snorkel, fins, and thre cans of lysol when i go down on pusysysysys zlzozozlzo
e) i like hearing about how men created all the evil in the world including shoppng malls, cars, ipodz iphonez twitter (clitter/twatter) and even cinabun zlzozozolzozzl

******

In a sane world, GBFM would be hailed a visionary poet on NPR while Ta Nigisi Coates would be doing dreary slam rap on the gay black bar circuit.

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