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I’ve come down hard on beta male forms of mate guarding behavior as counter-productive to creating healthy, loving relationships with women punctuated with wall-rattling sex. Beta male mate guarding is “benefit provisioning” — distinct from alpha male mate guarding which is “cost-inflictive”.
Alpha male mate guarding emphasizes intrasexual threats (“keep your hands to yourself”) and intersexual psy ops (disqualifying, teasing, negging, assuming the sale, etc), while beta male mate guarding (BMMG) emphasizes resource provision, emotional support, vows of fealty, and cloying displays of PDA.
On that last example of BMMG, CA Expat writes,
I’m definitely not perfect but I always felt that boyfriends that come up to you when you’re talking to their gf and hold her, kiss her etc, were faggy so I never did that shit. I always felt like I was the 10 and she was the 7 and infidelity was unlikely. I was also young/fit. Looking back I turned into a bit of a chump on the 3 real dimes I had. Those lasted <1 year. ?
What CA Expat describes in all its awful repugnance is the Beta Sidle. The possessive “sidle” is the kind of mate guarding behavior that insecure beta males do. It’s a passive form of benefit provisioning doubling as a warning to interlopers, but it reeks of lsmv desperation. Alpha males (or higher T men) who must lay claim to a woman in public prefer the more direct confrontation (against either the man or the woman).
The Beta Sidler…you know the type. He’s the guy who will, at the most awkwardly inopportune times, sidle up to his girl and lay gentle romantic pats on her like a puppy pawing at its owner for food. Maybe he’ll wrap his arm around her while she’s talking to you, and nuzzle her neck. The worst of the sidlers will try to reach for her hand and hold it, intertwining fingers and imploring her to “come over” and join him as soon as she’s ready. He’s doing all this in the time frame it took you to say hi to her and to ask how she’s doing.
Unsurprisingly, BMMG behavior this uxorious is rarely a turn-on for the girl at the receiving end of it, and for the third party man it’s enough to laugh out loud and make fun of the dude to the girl’s face when he’s out of earshot. I’ve mocked these goobers, usually saying something like “wow, your guy really likes you. I don’t think you’ll have trouble keeping him for yourself.”
A girl of course doesn’t like hearing that her man is a slave to her pussy who would die an incel if she ever left him, so this leetle poke and prod of her hamster that I do will ripen her to consider the very infidelity her betaboy tries so hard to thwart.