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This photo captures the modren post-America sexual market better than any other I’ve seen of the genre. You’ve got two men (at least one presenting symptoms of early onset soyboyism) sharing sangrias over candlelight at a hipster bar with one fat chick who may as well be running a bizarro world reverse harem.

And then there’s that chalkboard sign behind them which, although the message is meant well, misses the mark by a country mile. It should read, “If your date doesn’t kiss you by the end of the first date, she’s here for the free [beer].”

Not “they’re here”…”she’s here”. Men don’t go on dates for free beer. Men go on dates for free sex. Only women pull the “free resources for promises of sex later” stunt. Of course, the sign writers are probably nerds or bluehairs who’ve spent their formative years immersed in gender fluidity nonsense and have lost touch with how men and women behave in reality.

Even more truthfully, the sign should read, “If your date doesn’t put out by the third date, she’s thinking about fucking some other guy (or already is).”

Recap:

Two males

fighting over one land whale

drinking sugar and hops bombs

by the light of a barroom’s candles.

May the odds be never in your favor.

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