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lostcausemonaut satirizes,

zuck: “you must turn your right hand 3 times to reinstall my battery, ching-chong. do it wrong & i will spray acid upon you from my mouth parts.”


I love the #ZuccFanFic series. But keeping to the post’s topic, that weird fingertip exploration that Cuckersperg’s waifu is doing to his back demands a term of art to describe it.

The yellow feeler
The waifu probe

The chopstick grip!

If the hoverhand is the physical expression of a beta male feeling anxious and uncomfortable in the presence of a hot chick, worried she might reject him if his hand were to find purchase on her shirt sleeve, then the Chopstick Grip is the physical expression of a girl who is too repulsed by her husband to make full palm contact with his scaly back. Instead, she probes for points of weakness, such as the location of his wallet and the release point for his fear of her dragonlady mother.

Btw, is it possible for Zux to look like a human in any of the photos of him? He always looks like he’s about to molt or catch a fly mid-air.


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