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Spot The Slut

This post is also available in: German

Did you know you can identify a slut without mind-reading?

One major tell is the infamous “thousand cock stare“.

Look at the photos of these five women of varying sexual experience.

spottheslut

Based on their physiognomies and expressions, can you guess which ones are chaste and which ones have all-access passes to the cock carousel? One of these women, incredibly, has permitted 150 cocks to rotor through her tunnel of love. (Which means more like 300 cocks, given the female self-report rule to double every crotch notch she admits to having accumulated.)

I’ll take my shot. From left to right:

Huge slut
Newbie slut
Avaricious has-been slut (the 150-cock count winner)
Dirty slut
Chaste girl

I base my evaluations on these indicators:

Left-most blonde woman in blue dress has that classic “over-happy” look that cock-addicted women put on to conceal emotional torment. She looks wound up. If you use your hand to cover up the lower half of her face, you can’t miss the aggression and anger in her eyes. And notice how she holds her hands; clasped and cupping her vagina area. With women, this is a subconscious revelation that her vagina is the center of her existence and she offers it up tenderly to the fertility gods, like she’s releasing a piece dove.

Second-from-left woman is black and fat. Hate to say it but those are two major slut tells. However, she has a soft, friendly face, marked by a natural sincere smile and open raised eyebrows. She might be a sassy ho or one of those rare down-home ladies who likes to snuggle and dream of starting a family. My guess is that she’s sluttier than average, but not by much. (She may also not have had many opportunities to collect cocks, because men will pass over fatties if thinner alternatives are available.)

The middle cougar in the red dress is my choice for Slut of the Group (SLOG). 150 cocks looks about right for her, based on her age, short hair, ruby red lipstick, slightly crazy eyes, and deeply cut dress displaying what’s left of the bounce and fullness of her cleavage. And if you look closely, you’ll see she has a masculine digit ratio. DTF! (but suppleness is running out, so act fast.)

The Puerto Rican chick second-from-right is, again, black, and all the data we have on the matter shows that black women are as a rule sluttier than women of other races. The neck tilt is a classic female submission gesture, presenting to the male for ravishment. But coy women with low Ns do this too, so it’s not definitive. However, her bangles indicate that she’s adventurous once you get her in the bedroom. And her manjaw is impressive, cutting a sharp precipice from chin to ear. Verdict: AY YI YI SLUT. (100+ cocks)

Redhead at the far right is the chaste girl. Modest dress, unassuming stance, little make-up or jewelry, and from what I can see no fingernail polish (or very faint understated polish). But the only features you really need to look at to tell she’s no slut are her eyes and smile, both of which exude a natural, unforced warmth. Her eyes especially betray an inner calmness and deep satisfaction. This is a woman with a one cock gaze of love.

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Have you readers taken your Chateau-educated guess? Good. Cross-check your results with the actual slut numbers from the story about these women.

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Let’s see how I did.

Blondie: 102 cocks

MARKETING consultant Hattie Isaacson, 38, from Watford, says her number put some men off, but not husband Paul. [ed: beta]

She says: “I first had sex when I was 16 and it was the start of a good few years of doing it regularly.

“When I was young and single I liked to play the field and have sex whenever I could.

“My active sex life did mean I picked up chlamydia five times. I was on the pill so I didn’t always use a condom, which was silly.

“I had friends with benefits for years and I slept with a lot of interesting people when I went travelling when I was 22. I’ve kept a log of every man I’ve ever slept with so I don’t forget any.

Eat, pray, slut for the pyrrhic win. One has to wonder about the mental health and fidelity risk of a woman who kept a log of all the logs she holed (so she “doesn’t forget any”). Her husband has to be either a supreme beta or a gives-no-fucks alpha with pieces on the side.

I’ll give my slut guess a “HIT” for this woman.

***

Blackie: 3 cocks

“The final guy I slept with is the father of my son.

“I knew him at school too and we’d always had a connection but never acted on it.

“I was 20, and the first time we slept together I got pregnant. It wasn’t planned so it caused a few problems and I am currently single.

“I’m proud that I’ve only slept with three people — most people my age have slept with far more.”

Three cocks is low for any woman in our Houellebecqian Western sexual market dystopia, but it’s particularly low for a black woman. She’s definitely defied sterotypes (if she’s telling the truth).

I vacillated coming to a slut judgment (sludgment?) about her, but ultimately was too harsh. I’ll give myself a “MISS”.

***

Cougar: 35 cocks

“Bringing up four children doesn’t leave much time for sex so for over a decade my sex life was virtually nil.

“I never cheated on my husband, but by the time we got divorced we were not having much sex.

“We got divorced when I was 33, and when I eventually started meeting new men, I loved feeling free again and was able to indulge myself for a while.

“I really enjoy male company and see nothing wrong with having an active sex life if you are safe doing it.

How much has abortion, condoms, the Pill, and penicillin altered the sexual market? Rhetorical.

“In many ways I am making up for lost time.

Women who say this are super easy. You’ll go to pound town on the first date.

“In fact, I would be happy to get my number up to over 50, I have no problem with that.

“Most men don’t ask me how many people I’ve slept with, but if they do I always tell them the truth and I’ve yet to have a bad response.

She dates needy betas with limited mate options.

“It has been a bit of a turn-on for some because they know I know what I’m doing, and I’m also not clingy afterwards.”

Sluts love to hamsterize their cock gobbling as a victory for experience over bedroom ineptitude, but the truth is that sex isn’t complicated. Leg spreading isn’t rocket science.

Ok, I was off on this woman, but to be fair, 35 cocks is still a lot of cock, and she admits she would’ve racked up a much higher cock count had she not had four children early in life, and then asserts that she would happily love to crest 50 cocks.

Nevertheless, she’s not the number one slut.

My score: MISS (on a temporal bias technicality)

***

Puerto Rican: 150 cocks

ALESHA, 30, and son Justin, four, live in Stockwell, South London.

Single mom. Get ready for a no muss, no fuss easy lay.

She says: “I lost my virginity aged 16 to a guy at school. Like most of my friends’ first experiences it was awkward, but a relief too.

“At 17, when I started going clubbing, I’d meet and sleep with a man most nights. Men are usually quite easy to persuade into having sex.

If you aren’t 200 pounds or look like Hillary Clinton.

“I wouldn’t say I was addicted, I just saw sleeping with someone as part of a night out. By 20 I’d slept with over 100 men.

“I don’t regret my encounters. I just had a high sex drive. At times I felt like a predator. I do think my number is pretty high but I see nothing wrong with it.

I called 100+ cocks for this woman, so I’m giving myself the HIT. And it sounds like at age 30 she’s not ready to slow down, so she could quickly hit 150, 200, or more cocks.

***

Redhead: 1 cock

FULL-TIME mum Lara Eventide, 35, lives in Uxbridge, Middlesex, with her husband of 11 years, Chad.

They have a son aged seven and a 20-month-old daughter.

Lara says: “I was in my mid-teens when I met Chad at high school. We were just friends for four months then, one summer night, we revealed our love for each other.

High school romances are often the deepest, strongest, and longest-lasting loves a woman will ever feel. Not all end happily, but all leave a permanent imprint on a woman’s psyche.

“We started dating just days after I finished school in 1999. I had kissed five boys before but Chad was the only one I fell head over heels for and he has been the only man I have ever shared any sexual experiences with.

“We first had sex shortly after starting dating. We were both 17 and it was really special.

I have counseled that it’s always better to have sex sooner rather than later, because the best long-term relationships start with a foundation of uncontrollable passion. The key, if you want to avoid getting hitched to a slut OR a prude, is to see evidence in those first delirious dates of your woman working hard to contain her sexual ardor for you if she doesn’t want to give her sex away too quickly.

My score: HIT

***

I got three hits and two misses, but my misses were not totally off the reservation. This score reflects my real world experience; I have pretty good slutdar, and have never completely whiffed by mistaking a hardcore slut for a chaste, magical White girl. All men should be able to identify sluts, because knowledge is power. The moar you know…

A tragicomic coda: Maybe as little as sixty years ago only the 1 cock redhead would be considered by the general public a chaste woman of good repute and marriage worthiness. Even 3 cocks would have been deemed the work of the devil. Now, of course, no one bats an eye if a woman rolls into marriage with a long trail of cock memories shadowing her. If anything, a trad-chad who objects to dating or marrying a modren woman with a triple digit cock count is shamed for perpetuating oppressive patriarchal double standards.

[crypto-donation-box]

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