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Friday Funnies

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77 Responses to “Friday Funnies”

  1. Diversity Is Good says:

    Perfect. Especially the shoes.

  2. Knowbody says:

    nobody will ever be attracted to fatty mcfattertons

  3. ho says:

    The second picture is a masterful shiv.

    • anonymous says:

      Wrong again, Ho. Best photo here is the horn rimmed glasses. Not kidding. That’s a self-imposed yellow star. Pay attention.

  4. Arbiter says:

    What do you call a fat girl with a fancy new party dress?
    Fat.

    What do you call a fat girl with an intricate hairstyle?
    Fat.

    What do you call a fat girl who has had her nails done?
    Fat.

    No, sadly the punchlines are not so funny. The subject matter does not inspire. But curiously, the only two girls I have seen with colorful, expensively done nails were obese girls from the U.S.

    I remember telling my ex-gf about how guys really don’t care if a broad-waisted girl puts on a fancy dress, and in fact, guys don’t much care about girls dresses in general as long as they don’t signal weirdness. In fact, a modest dress might be a relief. But it is her body that men evaluate, not the wrapping. She just couldn’t believe that men would care so little about the party dress. I granted that yes, a beautiful dress would be appreciated for its beauty, but it would not add to the girl’s beauty in men’s eyes, which she had a hard time to believe. I have had the same reaction from other girls. They would be wise to spend more time in the gym than in the beauty parlor.

    • Sean Fielding says:

      Arbiter, I think you are both right and wrong that guys don’t care about girl’s dresses, that they evaluate the body, not the wrapping. You are right in the sense that all the guy’s attention is on body, but the whole point of fashion, like all advertising, is to coral the instincts unconsciously.

      Good fashion, worn by a girl who can wield it, can add 1/2 an HBD point to her value, without a guy even knowing that it was her dress and style that added the 1/2 point. And in the ultra-competitive world of comely young women, a marginal utility of an extra 1/2 point is huge.

      I guess you could say, ‘guys may not care about the wrapping, but the wrapping cares about guys.’ And so the guys are unwittingly forced to care.

      In nature it’s the same way: the bee does not know that the flower is a big advertisement, and the nectar a reward, all to get the bee to spread pollen.

      • 88 says:

        i think clothes matter a lot more than we think. it’s not only about the shape of the body. clothes also represent a person’s values and personality.

        you see two equally attractive girls, one in sweats or north face/columbia and jeans, flip flops or uggs. compare that to a girl in a dress and heels.

        i find the second choice more appealing visually (obviously) but aside from that, she’s giving me an impression of who she is and what she’ll be like down the road. someone who cares about her appearance and enjoys being feminine. that’s who she is. that’s her priority.

        the other girl? her priority is being comfortable and fitting in with all of her equally lazy friends. so which girl do think is going to keep up on her appearance and try to please you with feminine lingerie, dresses, heels, makeup, hair, etc.? sure as hell won’t be the sweats girl.

      • Arbiter says:

        Perhaps you are right, Sean Fielding. I was picturing the most telling cases though, fat girls dressed to the nines, with their hair and makeup done carefully – and it means nothing.

        you see two equally attractive girls, one in sweats or north face/columbia and jeans, flip flops or uggs. compare that to a girl in a dress and heels.

        Obviously, if they have equally attractive bodies, other factors can weigh in. Though in that case I’d say personality weighs in more. Now, comparing sweats and flip flops to dress and high heels – unless the girl is simply relaxing at home, then obviously a dress and high heels is preferable. If a girl wears sweats and flip flops to a social gathering, then that would fall under “signals weirdness” as I wrote above, which I agree would have a negative effect.

        Though if the girl in high heals and flip flops was fat, and the girl in sweats was hot as hell…. If you search for “fitness motivation” in YouTube and look at the girls in those videos, despite wearing sweat pants … that’s something to dig into.

    • anonymous says:

      True, and lol at least beauty parlor is better than tattoo parlor, piercing shop, and shopping for bracelets, shoes, etc. So many times I see a fat tatted up woman with tats, piercings, jewelry and think: despite her protestations to the contrary, she cares very much about her appearance and what others think of it. She might rail against “traditional beauty” (because she’s a fattie), but her own “sense of style” is her attempt to “look good” in her brain. And I think, she literally could have spent every minute she spent getting a tattoo or piercing or buying her 50th handbag simply doing squats, pushups and situps, and that would have been preferable for her and the world.

    • Corvo says:

      It really is amazing, when you think about it, that the #1 worst flaw that makes otherwise attractive girls unattractive (and makes otherwise marginal girls hideous) is … fat.

      And to not be fat, it simply requires refraining from doing something – to achieve the basic quality of not being fat, one simply has to eat less. Sure, working out will improve a girl’s looks, but to avoid the #1 flaw all a girl has to “do” is do less eating.

      But the innate biological craving to eat is so strong that, combined with the crap food out there today, most girls cannot resist their subconscious drive toward fatville.

      Makes you think about why Game principles work even though for years they have been publicly out there for everyone to see, and for the grrrrls to rail against. The innate hypergamy is just as embedded as the innate craving to overeat.

  5. Arbiter says:

    Feel-good philosophy: “Looking at these 6 things will make you love your body more”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/26/body-image-projects-women_n_4899201.html

    Doing squats would make you love your body even more, ladies.

    Photographer Gracie Hagen asked her subjects to pose in traditionally “sexy” poses, and juxtaposed those pictures with images of the same women showing their bodies in an “unflattering” light. The results call into question what “attractive” really means, and how authentic traditional attractiveness really is.

    “‘Illusions of the Body’ was made to tackle the supposed norms of what we think our bodies are supposed to look like,” Hagen told HuffPost. “Most of us realize that the media displays only the prettiest photos of people, yet we compare ourselves to those images. We never get to see those photos juxtaposed against a picture of that same person looking unflattering.”

    In most of those “illusions” pictures the models (1) are not attractive in the first place, so the beauty-and-ugliness-are-in-every-person idea fails, and (2) simply push their shoulders forward, not exactly an awe-inspiring transformation.

    And how bizarre they are, these beauty-hating, perverted creatures who are allowed publicity in our time, instead of shoveling manure or working by the assembly line as they should. How bizarre that the media owners place them front and center. Our era will be forever known as Bizarro World, a warning example in the history books.

    • Abundance Mentality says:

      My life changed the day I realized that almost everything important in the world happens silently. These fatsos can screech 24/7 about fat acceptance, but in the wordless rejections that men give them (a silent “Next!”), the consequences of their fatness is realized.

      I’d rather the fatties said nothing, but nothing they say matters. The proof is in the boner, not in sounds coming out of the mouth.

    • Anonymous says:

      Photographer Gracie Hagen asked her subjects to toss a ball in the air, and juxtaposed those pictures with images of the ball lying on the ground. The results call into question what “gravity” really means, and how authentic gravity really is.

  6. […] Friday Funnies […]

  7. Johnny Redux says:

    Bruce Jenner’s cat….priceless!! hahahaha.

  8. Add to the starter pack a brightly colored A-line skirt the size of an XL bath sheet.

  9. Dildo Faggins says:

    Jesse Eisenberg, spittin’ that anxious, snarky Jew game:

    • Arbiter says:

      Funny how they have those wormy lips. As if the eyes and the nose weren’t enough. (Rhinoplasty for the win!) There is a part in A Song of Ice and Fire where the Bastard of Bolton is described as having lips like worms, which made me think, they have Tribesmen in the story too?

    • JohnDSee says:

      It’s try hard. And hardly off the cuff. More Hollywood fantasy.

    • Snarky Rat Smugbucket Jon Liebowitz says:

      Oy vey! But ve are open and generous race!

    • anonymous says:

      NOTE THE HORN RIMMED GLASSES. IT’S A SELF-IMPOSED YELLOW STAR.

  10. elmer says:

    Making your case

    This, of course, is what happens at any face-to-face job interview. Come prepared for whatever can be thrown at you. Know your résumé inside and out, and be able to expand on everything you have written in it. Read books and articles about interviewing, and prepare. However, don’t overprepare so much that your answers seem rehearsed. You can’t fake sincerity and should never misrepresent what you’ve done.

    • Sentient says:

      Halfway attractive girls who flirt a bit often get hired. Women all know this of course… and they HATE when they have to be interviewed by an ugly 50 YO spinster.

  11. Lol’d so hard at the fuckin dog.

  12. I’ve noticed a lot of fat ladies with tattoos and wondered, why? If she sat for hours under the needle in an effort to make herself more attractive, why didn’t she also cut back on food in order to make herself much, much more attractive?
    It’s evidence that some women think tattoos make a difference to her attractiveness, and that good health does not.

    [CH: because fat women value food more than they value love. the pleasures of food are more immediate and easier to obtain. love requires a bit of effort.]

    • peckerwood says:

      isn’t most female love infatuation, fantasy, pet, or pity? Those are pretty easy to whip up. Harder to get reciprocation though. Worked with a war pig once, who was enraptured by Daniel Craig. The time spent obsessing over the unobtainable by the undateable is a serious time-suck.

    • Arbiter says:

      It’s probably about looking tough, too tough to care what people think about them. (Sure, ladies.) Also because it’s one thing they can change about their bodies, making them feel like they are in control.

    • Harland says:

      It’s funny, the primary lesson of the first PUAs from 1997-2002 was be a better man. Turns out, that’s what women want to sleep with. How to be a better man? Increase your status, do something with yourself, and present a better appearance.

      Women are attempting to do the same thing today, figure out what’s wrong and why they can’t get men. Instead of figuring out what men really want, they’re attempting to tell men that what they want is wrong and men need to change. Imagine if PUAs had tried that: “What women really want is a man who wears wal-mart khakis, is nervous, no interests or hobbies, can barely afford a shitbox apartment, and asks women for permission to proceed.” And then started a global media campaign shaming women into loser acceptance. This would be a great satire, I wish I was a movie maker with millions of dollars.

      “Seek truth from facts.”
      — The Book of Han, popularized by Deng Xiaoping

      • Mike says:

        Pro comment. I’ve often thought that if the military could somehow harness the power of the female ego we’d have an unbeatable tactical battlefield weapon.

  13. PA says:

    If our eyes need a break from ugly Lena, there is this. Agnetha was not a classic beauty, but that’s judging her against the Olympian ideal. This spaceyness about her, this pure Nordic blonde otherworldliness, is a thing to savor.

    • ROFL says:

      Dat RAYCISSsS! !!
      Somebody should post one of the innumerable examples of african musical art and female superiority!

    • Days of Broken Arrows says:

      LOL! If you’re gonna go ’70s, there’s an endless supply of hotties, from Adrienne Barbeau to Valerie Perrine to Lynda Carter. You couldn’t miss back then. I was a child in that era and I think it got baked into my subconscious that women would always look like this. Not quite…

      • Greg Eliot says:

        Barbeau had a nice big set of barbeaux, but she was a little harsh with the attitude… maybe from hanging around Maude.

        But, yeah, Valerie Perrine… the stuff dreams are made of.

  14. peckerwood says:

    I like it’s called bruce and not c8tlyn

  15. […] Source: Heartiste […]

  16. Arbiter says:

    Just the other day I searched for “obesity by country” and saw the U.S. in the top with 30.6% of the population with a BMI above 30. Next comes Mehico at 24.2. Then Britain, Slovakia, Greece … but most of Europe is at 14 or below. And I can tell you, those 14 % are generally older people.

    However, this doesn’t tell the whole truth. I also found that five percent of the U.S. population are “morbidly obese”. As I sat on the train later I counted to about forty people in the carriage. Imagine if two of them, five percent, had been morbidly obese, and that it would always be so, in your presence. It is an eyesore, it hurts our desire for beauty, created by strong instinct. It would not be fun to live close to that wherever I go. Though to be fair, it seems that the obesity average in the U.S. is strongly increased by the Southern states, which incidentally have a high concentration of Blacks – U.S. Blacks being the fattest group on earth except for some Pacific Islanders. So maybe it’s not that bad anywhere you go.

    Still, wouldn’t you rather that someone do something about this? Obesity went up in the U.S. because of ever-present access to low-priced fast food. Ironically, the good economy and low taxes became an enemy in this way. When fast-food restaurants later came to Europe the dangers were already known, and VAT made sure they weren’t as cheap and numerous. How would you address this in the U.S.? If you were king for a few years and you chose happiness instead of high-sounding principles?

    I’d seek a way to shut down some fast-food restaurants. Not because of leftist hatred of enterprise, but because this particular enterprise is not really needed. I’d also make sure that snacks, soda and alcohol were sold in separate stores, not in grocery stores. Tobacco too. And ban commercial ads for these goods. Take away the constant temptation that people succumb to.

    I wonder … if people could choose, would they choose to live in a country where people were slim again thanks to government mandate, or where people were obese and unhappy because of high-sounding principles? One day we are going to kill ourselves with principles. “Here Lies A Principled Race”, our tombstone will say.

    • Sentient says:

      Arbiter – if you corrolated obesity and wealth you would find it interesting. In wealthy zip codes thin is and has always been in. It’s still very rare to see very fat people in Greenwich, Orange County, or even north Chicago.

      Whereas poorer areas like Tulsa, south Atlanta and the Bronx it’s common, the inverse even.

      A big part of it comes down to poor people have poor ways.

      • Arbiter says:

        Yes, that’s true. In every country. Funny how those oh-so-poor people can afford beer and potato chips.

        There was a chart that showed what percentage of the purchasing power people spend on unnecessary pleasures. The LESS the income, the MORE of it do people spend on the unnecessary – chips, beer, cigarettes, whatever.

    • X says:

      the best solution would be weighins for EBT allotments and scales at fast food restaurants that add tax to the cost based on BMI. why should my eyeballs be the only ones required to pay for fat acceptance?

      love the Lindy West starter kit.

      • Arbiter says:

        Sounds like a good idea. Or make sure EBT cards can’t pay for certain goods, like potato chips. At any rate, something should be done, no matter if it’s called fascist or whatever.

        I suspect people would rather live in an America that was an outright dictatorship, if it meant everyone was slim and beautiful, instead of an America with democracy where everyone was fat and ugly. If people stood before the magic portals and could step into one world or the other. Let the ideologies say what they want.

  17. Charming Richard says:

    Women require men to provide and protect the present, men require women to provide and protect the future. One without the other is none.

    And so it goes…the ongoing destruction of White women reaches a fever pitch with this fat thing. As with all communist lies and nostrums, the idea, empowering women, the mechanics thereof are designed to produce the exact opposite.

    Fat is beautiful is a huge victory for the left, and a massive defeat for women and their men. Thank you ladies, you’re digging our graves for pennies on the dollar.

    • anonymous says:

      Indeed.

      We must secure the existence of our people and a future for White Children.

      Because the beauty of the White Aryan women must not perish from the earth.

      #fourteeneighty-eight

  18. And the meal plan…

    …no sense in doing things halfway…

  19. Bill Brasky says:

    Gents,

    Guess where Bruce Jenner went to high school?

    Newtown CT, class of ’68.

    We’re swimming in alphabet soup…

  20. elmer says:

    What’s the deal with white guys and Asian Women?

    • Arbiter says:

      Ha, that’s funny. I remember once in college, I was in a class with many foreign students. There was this sweet Chinese girl, so attractive because she really didn’t know how she was “supposed” to act according to current Western standards for women. And because she was slim. People would present a small group project one day, and there were two White girls standing in front of the class, and after them the Chinese girl, who was alone up there because her partner was ill. Wow, what a difference to see her stand exactly where another girl had stood right before her. Smiling happily, with slim waist and narrow shoulders. There was no way not to notice the difference.

      People often say “slim” about Asians, but they forget the narrow shoulders, which are also a big sign of youth.

  21. Just Saying says:

    OMG! I can’t unsee that…. Put up a sign or something…

  22. eyeslevel says:

    If fatties are so desirable, why doesn’t Femen hire them? Same with older women. If older women are so sexy, why doesn’t Femen hire them? Or non-whites? If race doesn’t matter, why are Femen street activists overwhelmingly white? Femen needs to be sued for discriminatory hiring practices. Young, slender women are nothing special, but that’s all Femen hires? What? If Victoria’s Secret needs to hire fatties, so does Femen.

    • Arbiter says:

      And if they are so attractive, why don’t the leftist Hollywood producers hire them?

      Because they know slim women with long hair and certain facial traits are attractive, and they want to use that to sell. They know that despite the heavy propaganda, people will respond to actual beauty, not what the propaganda says is beautiful.

      BUT, we get no philosophical or scientific defense for the beauty on screen and our attraction to it. It is instead used to show us that those with “stereotypes” are in control, instead of the Left. (Same as how “the main character is White!” is used to show that “racists” are in control, not the Left. But the main character is White because that is what the White audience identifies with despite all the propaganda, and it is even the default that non-Whites prefer, rather than someone from another non-White race than their own.)

      So beauty is used to draw in the viewers, and that is then used to constantly guilt us, because beauty is never given a verbal defense. And that guilt is used to silence us, and make us atone through loyalty to leftist causes.

      Interestingly this culture of guilt is something even Nietzsche described way back when – talking about how Europeans both defended and conquered despite the slave morality, but were then made to feel guilty because conquest was not allowed a philosophical defense, and for that they had to atone by being loyal to the churches from whence the slave morality came, constantly asking for forgiveness.

  23. benfromtexas says:

    This cultural Marxist trend disturbs me!

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