Too funny. Even funnier: There are some gems of game to be mined from this humor. A reader writes,
It’s titled “Things You Can’t Do When You’re Not a Toddler”. I say it’s Things You Do When You Don’t Give a Fuck.
I’m going to walk up to girls and announce that I sleep in a big boy bed.
The “big boy bed” line is gold, and would work if your delivery is stone-faced. Other examples of “Toddler Game” that can be modified for adult-sized game.
– Walking naked in front of a girl you just started dating. (“I need these moments of freedom.”)
– “I’m 35-and-a-half.” Good all-purpose answer to girls asking your age.
– Hiding behind a pant leg or a chair when a girl asks you a personal question.
– Swapping a girl’s glasses and examining them with focused intent.
– Throwing stuff on the ground.
CH has covered this territory before. Children are great real life naturals at game. You’ll get a better education in how to tease women by watching little boys interact with little girls. We forget these life lessons as adulthood robs us of our wonderment and carefree attitude. Chicks dig the free and easy boy inside.
[…] Toddler Game […]
INFINITE TRUTH HERE. And it’s all “Good Guy” Game – White Knight Game. It’s pure, it’s innocent, it’s real. Nothing contrived. Nothing fake. Nothing disingenuous. With Toddler Game, you can actually be yourself around chicks. And still get laid.
This is a joke!Theres no toddler game.Infinite truth? Jesus H KeeRist! Still funny tho
Toddlers alwats throw their dirty underwear on the floor. Toddlers always leave the toilet seat up. Toddlers always eat what they want to eat, drink what they want to drink, and vomit what they want to vomit.
Toddlers are mischievous. Toddlers have a big grin on their faces. Toddlers live life at 110 MPH. Toddlers are masters of their own universes.
Toddlers don’t experience worry or anxiety or depression or despair because they haven’t spent a decade in John Dewey’s gubmint indoctrination centers having every manner of Frankfurt School nihilism drilled into their skulls.
Toddler Game is human Honey Badger Game.
Toddler Game is being the man you had always wanted to be – the real you – before The System convinced you to be someone else.
Did I ever tell you about the time I lived in the ghetto with African Americans?
hahhahahhahahahahhahahahhhahhah
We all know that you got out not one milli-second later than when you could. Assuming you ever lived in ghetto-land. See, this the lamness of your trolling; no one here thinks you personally believe in what you pretend to espouse.
@gunslingergregi
OK, what in the hell is so funny about me living amongst African Americans?? Huh? Dammit, like, seriously, don’t do this today. I nearly lost my job earlier, my girlfriend dumped me… I’ve been emotional all day… Man, I don’t know why I hang around this fucking place. You’re all just a bunch of bigots and racists, I swear, same as the fucking jews.
lol
because you’re a fa66ot…..
rape!
Toddler game….just taking what you want….sounds like whorefinder’s main game….
his go-to game….
any guesses as to what it is, boys and girls?
Grape?
babe?
And I’ll give you young ‘uns another priceless insight – at the other extreme, if you have a toddler of your own, then there isn’t a greater CHICK MAGNET on the face of God’s Green Earth than taking him with you to the park or the swimming pool.
You will be able to hit on every Mom and every Nanny [and even the Grandmas, if they’re still pre-menopausal] for as far as the eye can see.
preselection game.
nephews work too. they don’t know it’s not yours til you’re already in her head.
also, what works a lot like the glasses is a stonefaced purse perusal. she will say something like ‘excuse me’ and you just look up like ‘pardon?’
it’s like kino jr, getting her used to you handling her stuff.
Me want to fuk you! Would that work?
I would add pointing and saying that.
some good inner game quotes here from evil stifler, a natural friend of RSD’s jeff allen. guy has banged around 700 chicks just from approaching all day everyday
“Jeffy says beast.. I just imagine myself cumming on their faces wheneve they look at me… they know whats up.”
“banging bitches is like playing golf. u leave the game for a week and u get a huge setback. dont ever stop creepin.”
“Just agreed to do an interview with jeff for you losers. this shit is easy.. walk up… creep… either bang or don’t.”
“Some days I go empty handed.. but is that reason for me to stop?”
“Girls ask what my job is… i tell them it has to do with making women feel good.”
“The time right before the weekend is when my eyes roll back and my dick comes out”
In a text to Tyler,
“Bro, I’m at the club right now, and I’m just about to get on the stage and take off my shirt and dance. I feel so bad for the other guys here.”
“It’s funny. I hear guys talk about wishing for a girlfriend. WALK OUTSIDE AND HAVE YOUR PICK”
“The pussy doesn’t own you. YOU own the pussy.”
“You don’t have to buy the pussy, it’s already yours. Just take it”
After being asked by someone for some advice on picking up girls,
“To even give u a tip would be putting too much importance on the subject.”
“If a girl gives u a short answer, stare her down til she gives u sumthing of more value. The awkward silence forces her 2 put in more effort”
“Mind fucking is my favorite. I’m a nice guy one second, and a fucking asshole the next.”
After being asked how to stop caring what other people think…
“When you TRY not to give a fuck… ur still giving a fuck. just release.”
“Slammed a 19 yr old bitch last night. This shit is so easy.”
After being asked what the quickest way is to stop being a chode/beta,
“to tell your mind to go fuck itself and walk straight into HORRIBLE situations.”
“friends dont ask me “did u get laid last night?” they ask me, “did any chicks get laid last night?”
Taking to a chode/beta,
“Your life sucks. Go do something wild… you r gonna die in a little bit and your wasting it.”
“my dick has a mind of its own brotha. no planning, just doing.”
After being asked what how he gets a girl that is surrounded by guys,
“they r my cheerleaders. male cheerleaders.”
“Mind fucking is my favorite. I’m a nice guy one second, and a fucking asshole the next.”
This is the shit. Incredibly good hampster spinner.
Do the asshole part with a little bit of tease to it and watch the magic.
Don’t do this shit on nice girls from good families. Mind fucks are only to be deployed on snarky Blue State witches with The Darkness in their hearts. REPEAT: NEVER ON NICE GIRLS!!!!!
We need to end this belief in the idea of a “nice girl”. They don’t exist. There are only different degrees of solipsism and nastyness. That is all.
Nice girls aren’t going to be solipsistic. But formerly nice girls could have a nasty streak and a burgeoning case of The Darkness in their hearts owing to a long line of Playahz who mind-fucked them and who tricked them into spreading their legs and who then proceeded to Pump-n-DUMP them and leave them all alone, high and dry, with an increasingly broken soul.
Don’t be the monster who goes around breaking the souls of nice girls.
Tricked them into spreading their legs? Huh, I didn’t realize you could trick them into doing that. So how does one do it? Your saying if I make a card disappear or pull a rabbit out of my hat they will spread for me? Can you elaborate please? I know game is technique for making them want to spread but now your saying there is actually a way to trick them into it without them even wanting it? Well goddamn son don’t just keep this knowledge to yourself!!
sounds like a really funny extrovert….
Toddler game? Yes, indeed, real alpha males here.
whats your name sweetie?
babygirl
i KNOW it turns you on when men talk like that to you but there is NO need to be shy girl….I’m just trying to talk to you girl!
lol. you truly don’t get it, do you, spergy?
rape!
rofl. tl;dw.
sperg rape!
I have to agree with Tex… ‘though it awaken the snark beastie within some of you chaps.
And for the record, you fellows got pwned by the silver screen homages, a propos.
So, I leave you with a hearty…
LZOZLZOZLZOZLZOZLZOZLOZL
“The “big boy bed” line is gold, and would work if your delivery is stone-faced.”
It absolutely does.
Although, the exact line I use was copped from The Simpsons:
“I sleep in a racing-car (bed)! Do you?”
Say it with a tone of boyish competition and maintain frame.
With enough in-field practice, it won’t take long before she asks to see it.
I’m studying at a coffee shop and there’s a girl (6 at best) berating a painfully obvious beta boyfriend a few seats away. She’s gesticulating wildly, using agitated tone and powerful body language.
I’m sorely tempted to save a life by walking over to their table and handing the guy a scrap of paper with this site’s URL.
Or you can scrawl one word onto the paper….
guess what it is…..
too late now, but what were you thinking
Tape!
shape?
ROPE!!!!
Stumbled on this through Free the Animal’s site. Made me tear up to think there’s still hope.
http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com
Is it me or are a lot of the women posting there kinda cute? Notice you really don’t see some ugly manish monster you typically associate with feminism posting there.
Most of them are promoting feminist goals in their bullet points, so in a sense it makes even less sense than feminism. They are noting that they don’t need feminism because they are secular, pro-equality, gender equal and have the ability to do everything that men do, which sounds a lot like….feminism!
The only standout departure is that they are young, and emphasize that they enjoy attention from men (i.e. catcalls). So we have a bunch of hyper-sexual attention seeking whores who are celebrating what feminism has brought them, while denying that they need feminism. Okay, then!
And yes, I acknowledge there are a few that are different, but they mostly follow the aforementioned trend.
First one is a great example: Slutty clothes! Abortion! Promiscuous behavior!
http://womenagainstfeminism.tumblr.com/post/93573791110/http-womenagainstfeminism-tumblr-com-submit
The only thing I remember about being a toddler is an old cow barn, an old man named Cooter, another boy about my age named Ricky, and various random mental snapshots of cocks, spit, ass, and cow shit. The worst part was when Cooter found me again when I was in middle school, in a completely different town, and tried to explain that everything was okay because Jesus forgave him and he got saved.
What a depressing way to start the workday. Bah.
Dafuq?
Dude…
Spirit asks what channel this show is on.
You know how people on forums say “you owe me a new monitor”?
You owe me a desk as well… and a double bourbon.
😉
i’d say also think about what a woman would do for a cat or dog
yea cleaning up piss and shit around the house
especially cat emptying the litter box and smelling cat shit in the house all day
yea after thinking about that none of the complaints they could possibly come up with about you could compare to that
so it don’t mean shit
yea you are gonna hear about the clothes on floor a few times that she has to pick up but after ya get her used to that being what she was put on the earth to do yea its fine he he he
keep cognicent of what your woman does do
when she takes a day and scrubs the shower and curtain and the floors to make the house nice its not really all that noticeable sometimes
scrubs out the stove fridge
cleans the fish tanks
didn’t want me to take the car through auto wash cause she wanted me to watch her do it
or she would joking throw a fit
maybe I need to learn to show more appreciation for that stuff or maybe yea like a kid when do they say ty for stuff like that to parents but yet parent skind of do that for 18 years some of em
Today’s field report:
126 female customers.
One 2
50 3s
27 4s
28 5s
9 6s
6 7s
4 8s
one 9 (who made the whole research project worth it. In fact, she may have actually been a 10, but by then I was so bummed I couldn’t believe my eyes!
Whatever you guys do don’t shit your pants. Trust me on this one.
I was once standing in line at Disneyland with a girl I was dating at the time (by good ole beta chump days). There was, rather predictably, a five year old in front of us in line with his mom and one of her girlfriends. The kid farts, then has this sort of momentarily surprised/embarrassed look on his face, and then cracks this mischievous grin on his face and announces at full decibel level “I FAWTED!!”
I don’t go out of my way to hold in moments of flatulence around girls anymore. Ever since then, if I happen to break wind I proceed exactly as that kid, the brief moment of surprise, followed by toothy grin and unashamed pronouncement with all the verge of a five year old admiring his bodily functions.
Toddlers got negs down too. Bitch gets mouthy, push her down.
help me out guys,
sometime a girl would come up to me and tell me i am cute handsome etc(this happens occasionally so they usually catch me by surprise ) and i start talking to them etc etc. but i never end up banging these chiks. what am i doing wrong?
[…] Too funny. Even funnier: There are some gems of game to be mined from this humor. A reader writes, It’s titled “Things You Can’t Do When You’re Not a Toddler”. I say it’s Things You Do When You Don’t Give a Fuck. […]
I once saw a Japanese woman with a kid. The mom had the kid carrying some bag or wearing a nap sack. The kid asked the mom to carry it and mom refused. The exchange proceeded like this:
Toddler: But it’s heavy!
Mother: Heavy for mommy too…
I use this whenever a girl says “But it’s heavy!!!” “heavy for me too”
“But it’s a long drive….”
But it’s expensive…
Expensive for me too.