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I know this guy whose pickup technique is to go up to a woman and, with a little bit of excitement in his voice, ask “Can I have your autograph? You’re [Katy Perry], right?” He would pick a celebrity who, from ten miles away, could be said to slightly resemble his lust interest.

She would invariably answer, no, she wasn’t, and he would tell her the resemblance was uncanny. If the girl was very pretty, he would be sure to choose a female celebrity who wasn’t so pretty to compare her to, say Rene Zellweger or Ellen Page.

I saw him in action a couple of times. I wouldn’t recommend his game to anyone. It’s stupid game. Goofy and supplicating. The girls laughed in that “who is this clown?” way, I think he got one’s number, but don’t know if they reconnected.

When I asked him why he spit such horrible game, he said that at the end of the day it was his absurd gambit the girls would recall. With mockery, I retorted.

Yet, if your choice is stupid game or nothing game — staring from afar as the girlworld passes you by — then you should choose stupid game. Every time. Because stupid game man is getting more numbers, and more dates, than nothing game man. Boldness bereft of any charm is still boldness. And girls respond to boldness the way men respond to beauty… stunned, aroused, compliant.


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