*deep breath*
Email #1
This reader has a problem many masters of the muff have encountered. Unless you’re a psychopath, in which case you need not bother yourself to read further.
I am in a pickle and I seek advice from like-minded individuals. Any response is appreciated!
I have been seeing this girl for about five months now. Met her through a mutual friend after ingesting tons of red pill and game articles. The first time we met we played tennis with a couple of other people. I thought she was cute and had decent athletic ability, but she definitely wasn’t super hot in my opinion. I’d rate her a 6.5. Great body, long blonde hair, but her face is a little beat.
Anyways throughout the time I’ve known her I’ve gamed her VERY WELL and she’s responded better than I could have hoped. In short, she’s smitten. She treats me like a king and is probably the sweetest girl I’ve ever dated. She also craves sex from me like its the last time she’ll ever get it. Regularly tells me I’m the best she’s ever had etc.
My problem is this: Although I enjoy her company, the way she treats me, and her enthusiasm for my dick, I am not super physically attracted to her. The face really throws me off. I have successfully parried a number of her attempts to secure commitment from me, but I see things coming to a head relatively soon. Is the player cursed with being a heartbreaker?
If you haven’t broken a heart, you haven’t loved.
I don’t want to settle down, but I feel awful hurting her.
This is a normal reaction for non-psychopaths. The guilt you feel is a primal recognition of women’s shorter reproductive windows and of the harm your unserious dalliance is doing to her SMV. Naturally, you must do what is best for you, and it helps to consider that women will act in their own best interests as well when they have romantic leverage to exploit.
It seems to me that the manosphere (especially returnofkings) often mentions the lack of true feminine American women. I have definitely found one, but I still am not satisfied. I want it all. I want a beautiful face, a rock hard body, and a subservient nature. Are my standards too high? Am I an asshole? Am I foolish to think I can have it better? Thank you in advance for any insight.
The dissonance you are experiencing is caused by your laboring under an inverted female attractiveness pyramid. Femininity is desirable, but it’s almost nothing if there’s no beauty. Beauty is necessary if not sufficient for a man to fall in love with a woman. This is true for all men, though you may be tempted to think otherwise by observing men’s choices or their claimed level of contentment with this or that subpar woman. But it makes sense that there would be a disconnect between what men actually desire and what they settle for, because limited sexual market options are very hard for either sex to swallow, so justifications and rationalizations for settling are the norm rather than the exception.
All this is to say you aren’t an asshole nor are you foolish, if you have good reason to believe you can do better. The discomfort you feel is the core reactor of your mental apparatus — your id — warning you that life is short and you can plow higher quality poon, so why are you wasting it on throwaways? A very cynical view of love can be summed thus:
Maxim #53: Love is when you’ve been granted a temporary reprieve from wondering if you can do better.
As for the particulars of the heart you’re about to dash against the tidal rocks, there are three ways to do the dirty deed dirt cheap.
1. Be direct.
“This isn’t going to work anymore for me. You’re a great woman but I have to move on to find what I really want.”
Just pull that band-aid off. Leave no doubt or hope behind.
2. Cut off all contact.
No phone calls, texts, social media, anything. She’ll eventually take the hint. Upside: You don’t have to see her blubbering face. Downside: You have to live with the thought of confusion and pain tearing her apart for a couple of months.
3. Lie.
“I’ve been dating this other girl.” “I’m married.” “I’m gay.” “I’m sterile.” “I have a rap sheet.”
Scratch that last one. It’s likely to backfire.
***
Email #2
She’s a man-eater baby. So help this reader escape her maw.
I have been reading this site and Rollo’s for while now. And I am learning so much. I am 50 and I have met a solid 9 26YO and we have been together for about two months. She was fun and funny and beautiful Certifiable, She works as a promotional model and has done a couple of magazines. Sex has been awesome. About a few weeks ago things started to go sideways. More attitude. Less available. More shit tests so I got to the point where I told her she needed to respect me otherwise I am gone. Well it did not work.
Ultimatums are TNT. Handle with care. They don’t work as often as “tough alpha guy” advocates think they do. If there is any power differential favoring the girl, no matter how small, your ultimatum will be perceived as the last gasp of a butthurt ego, and fail.
She agreed completely and then went back to the same thing.
So then a few days ago I went silent. Only responding to her texts and only briefly. It seemed to work.
Tacit ultimatums >>> spoken ultimatums.
She sent me dirty photos. And kept initiating. I stayed uninterested.
This was your opportunity to gently mock her. “Did you know your left boob is a little smaller?”
Then yesterday she kind of gives me all of these reasons why she has been unavailable. I waited a while and then sent her a text just saying. “I am really not feeling it….” Then she sent me an indignant wat? and then a dirty pic.
She sounds kind of stupid. I say that because girls with low intelligence tend to lean on the display of their bodies to regain lost relationship hand. Smarter girls will go the verbal route first.
I said nice and then went silent again. At the end of the day she sends me long blow up text about four paragraphs about I need to talk to her and let her know where I am at with our relationship and she has other options. Which she does, she is really hot. No apologies. But she admits that she is a bitch.
When a man “admits” he’s an asshole, he usually isn’t. When a girl admits she’s a bitch, she usually is.
So then I wait a while and send her a text back saying call me…she sends back “I have the vagina you call me…”
“Does your vagina have ears?”
I sent a lol and I called her.
Big mistake. She tossed up a hoop. you jumped through it like a circus poodle.
Figuring she had enough and was ready to behave. We had a good conversation and set a date to get together tonight for some playtime.
We texted today with some light bantering, and I kept it short and aloof. Then in the afternoon she sends a slightly insulting text out of the blue.
Too much back and forth. Dude, the brutal truth… the impression I’m getting, and I’m sure the readers here are getting, is that you’re a marionette dancing on the ends of her strings.
I went dark again. Have not communicated since. And we are supposed to see each other tonight.
What would you masters do? I could stay dark and blow off the date?
Text and say you have to cancel, something came up. Leave it at that. Don’t text again.
Meet up with her and not do anything, hoping that me going dark was punishment for her bad behavior? Should I punish her for this?
You’re stuck on a reward-punishment hamster wheel and it’s sucking the fun out of your time with her. Thinking about how to “punish” a girl is not the attitude of a take-it-or-leave-it outcome independent alpha male. You want this chick badly, and it’s making your head spin. You need time away to clear your head and to clear hers.
Meet up with her and tell her she is acting like a brat and I am walking away until she shapes up?
You know what’s funny about ultimatums? Half the time they’re exactly what women want to pry from you. She’s in control, and you’re being piloted like a piper cub. You’re becoming predictable, and once she tires of batting you around like a cat toy she will go full sayonara. Bet on it.
I know I started this relationship from a beta frame, does that mean all is lost?
No. What it means is that you’re still in a beta frame, just under an alternate configuration.
Please help a brother out. Look at this like a remedial tutoring session.
I gave you advice above. Icy silence. Two in the kitty. Restored mentality of abundance. Keep in mind that the large age difference means you’ll have to be more detached from her than you could afford if you were closer in age. Once she’s groomed to appreciate your menu of options (true or not), you can throw out feelers to see if she’d be into a longer-term commitment. But that time isn’t now, under these conditions.
It’s been a while since this email was delivered. Let us know what transpired.
***
Email #3
A younger reader has a question about Snatchchat.
I’m new to game, 20 years old, going to a community college in Colorado. I’ve had enough natural game to get by throughout the years, but this blog has opened my eyes. Your text game principles are gold, and have helped me a lot. Now I’ll get to the point. There’s a new craze I’ve noticed recently, and that’s snapchat. I’m sure you’ve heard of it, you take a picture, write a caption, and send it to someone and they can only view it for ten seconds till it’s gone forever. Could you do a post on snapchat game perhaps? Some tips would be useful. I’ve gotten nudes through it before (which sucks because you can’t save them ). I have a beta friend who snapchats the gayest stuff like “beautiful day out.” Any tips on how to be alpha on snap chat?
Snapchat is really not a very good platform for gaming girls. It’s designed with female needs and desires in mind, and that’s why it’s suddenly a “craze”. Women drive crazes. (It takes a crazy to know a craze.) The main benefit to girls (particularly borderline personality disorder attention whores) is that the spontaneity of Snapchat allows them to better judge a man’s grace under pressure, and the privacy feature (such as it is) encourages them to flirt more openly than they would otherwise, possibly leading less experienced men astray who are apt to misconstrue playfulness for sexual interest.
But like all female-catered consumer products (99% of total commerce) there are ways to hack the stated or adopted purposes of such social lubrication mediums to exploit them to your benefit. Snatchchat is no exception.
First, like the reader says, rule number one is DON’T BE BETA. If you’re snapchatting “beautiful day out” with pictures of a field, you have already lost. Incel is your future.
Second, have fun with it. If you treat Snapchat less like a dating app and more like a neg facilitator, you’ll be able to springboard from it to a more intimate platform, like flesh and blood real life. Examples:
Here’s my pussy. your turn.
If she sends you a follow-up poon pic, snapchat back a pic of a crying baby. Tease the female prerogative outta her.
Or, snapchat a photo of your unopened robe, with the caption “here comes a dick pic”. Wait a while (to build delicious tension), ignore all her protestations, and then send this:
You get the idea. Whatever you do, don’t get caught in an endless snapchat loop. Because while she’s snapchatting you with one hand, her mouth is servicing the cock of another man.
> “Because while she’s snapchatting you with one hand, her mouth is servicing the cock of another man.”
And you want to hook up with this chick precisely why exactly?
Fuck there have to be some better chicks out there for these poor guys to hit on.
To reader #1 is she intelligent? If you have kids, this is important. There’s a strong positive correlation between MOTHER’s IQ and kids’ IQ.
There’s always facial plastic surgery if it’s all that bad.
She sounds like a keeper to me, yes I know the feeling of finally knowing how it’s done, then immediately getting yanked off the market. It happened to me. I am still married to her. While I do regret some borderline personality aspects that have arisen, they are unrelated to anything I could have known about or considered at the time. So in terms of my decision making process, I think I did it right to let her disable my market activities.
Start the family and move on with life.
Consider it this way. Suppose you dump her and two months later you find out she’s in tight with another guy, then they’re getting engaged etc. Would you regret? Well that would be too late, this isn’t. If you would not regret, then let h er go.
First letter:
–When a guy says she is a 6.5, I assume a 6. Why the decimals? Plus, he says her face is no good, which means she’s actually a 5 (plain) at most, not a 6 (ordinary attractive).
–Let her down easy is the best way that saves face for both. “Sorry, I can’t make it that day” coupled with not replying to messages. No, it doesn’t sound brave or clever, but there is a reason why this is the most common way of ending things.
Second letter:
–When either party sets an ultimatum, then it’s no longer a relationship.
–There are way better methods for handling things than ultimatums.
–She sends sexy pics of herself to make him reply? She says “I have the vagina”? He gives her ultimatums? He wonders how to punish her? Ah, the quarrels of the lower class.
If these two ever got married, it would be fun watching the police arrive at their address in some cop reality show. “We got a call about a domestic disturbance, third time this month….”
Neighbors: “Always fighting, those two! Day and night! I’m working full shift at the club tomorrow, I need my sleep! And tell them to pick up the trash in front of their house, it’s starting to smell!”
“I have the vagina, you call me” makes me think of this picture:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LYW0GBHZ9aw/SfCD5ACCH5I/AAAAAAAAALo/XUuVjb24Bu4/s1600-h/Tshirt+14.jpg
#1 Regularly tells you that you are the best for sex she ever had. And presumably (though it was not mentioned) that you also have the largest dick she has yet engorged. Nonsense of course but it does mean that she is hooked on you.
Snapchat can be captured with Snapcapture.
CH got letter #3 down to a t. Things like snapchat are designed to cater to women completely, a perfect way for them to get the admiring comments they crave. If you’re on there at all you have to treat it as hostile territory where the rules are set against you. Follow the rules and you have already lost. Break them with a laugh and you got something.
> “Break them with a laugh and you got something.”
A penis encrusted with venereal warts?
> “Start the family and move on with life.”
Thread Winner.
Next Thread.
I hope that’s not the first place your mind went
Yeah, I was wondering why you couldn’t just do the iPhone equivalent of “Alt-PrtScn” and then paste the result into the iPhone equivalent of
‘Paint.NET”.
Tree Nesting is broken in WordPress again.
Sorry.
Fucking A.
It was broken just a second ago, and then it fixed itself.
Huh.
When I first heard of Snapchat I assumed there were ways to get around the ten-second rule. A quick search revealed that of course there was.
There is no reason to send pictures of yourself undressed. I think it’s CH who came up with the megaphone rule: never write anything in online contact that would embarrass you if it was shouted out with a megaphone.
From The Onion: Every 2040 Presidential Candidate Already Unelectable Due To Facebook
There’s a strong principle of being unavailable to draw the person closer. How do I do it in an LTR/marriage when our lives are so tied together with kids, a house, etc. ? Any thoughts?
Shit.
Now it’s broken again.
Fucking Bangalorean imbeciles who couldn’t write bug-free code if their lives depended on it.
CH is right on the money here yet again ha…was over in some polish chicks house this week, between blowjobs she went on snapchat to selfie snap back a beta orbiter coworker. Dude was sending her smilies and all trying to be overly flirty with her
she let me see and i innocently asked ‘why do you snapchat losers like that’ knowing full well what her answer would be…sure enough she responded with ‘oh but hes a nice guy’
then she got back on her knees and started sucking again
Email #1: Walk away. Break it off gently but firmly (CH’s Option #1); don’t be a pussy or a louse about it. Here’s why: if she’s not pretty enough for you now, you’re going to think she’s a total dog in 5 years’ time (let alone 25). Take it from one who knows: if something about a woman is enough of an issue for you so soon, time isn’t going to make it go away.
Email #2: Walk away. The fact that you’re even considering maintaining this partnership imbalance just reveals your own insecurity. In general, 50-year-old men shouldn’t expect anything more than a few weeks’ worth of fun & games from a 20-something chicklet. She has too many options, and the chances of your getting cuckolded will increase exponentially over time. She may even be there already (that would be my guess, based on her attitude change).
Email #3: No comment. I don’t swim in those waters.
“You’re stuck on a reward-punishment hamster wheel and it’s sucking the fun out of your time with her. Thinking about how to “punish” a girl is not the attitude of a take-it-or-leave-it outcome independent alpha male. You want this chick badly, and it’s making your head spin. You need time away to clear your head and to clear hers.”
Moneyshot.
Send a completely black image.
When she complains, make like your phone’s flash didn’t go off.
Send another completely black image. Make similar excuses.
Repeat as long as it’s funny, then send a dick pic.
Both parties reduced to a desparate search for men with working zippers.
Heartiste, nested comments poses problems. Among other things, it lets the blessed Saint GBFM hijack the first comment no matter how late he gets here, because the first comment is often a pingback. Pingbacks are easy to automate, normal people don’t reply to them, and thus the blessed Saint GBFM (it could be so much worse) gets his platform.
Please, host, turn off nested comments. They hurt discourse.
I read somewhere that childless Jews invented nested comments.
4 important ways:
#1 Cultivate your guy friend network.
#2 Stay in shape
#3 practice hitting on other women so that your wife sees them respond to you
#4 Be the boss in your household
You nailed #1. I’ve been married a long time. If my wife didn’t have a pretty face there’d be no way we would have lasted
Speaking of which, I come to think of CH’s Twitter feed on the first page. Chosenite Krugman complaining that evil conservatives reject warmist claims, that the earth is getting warmer. (Hasn’t changed significantly in 17 years.) The producers behind the global-warming “An Inconvenient Truth” were also Chosenites, putting Albert Gore in the movie as a front figure, much like they let Lenin be the face of the Russian communist party.
In 2007, Gore won the Peace Prize, should be called the Propaganda Prize, for his warmist hysteria. (Note that the committee consists of five politicians. When Obama was given the prize, the three socialist politicians overruled the objects of the two non-socialists.) The same year he claimed that both polar ice caps would have melted by 2012. And that the sea level would have risen six feet. Well, has it happened? Now he has moved the date, claiming the North Pole and South Pole ice will be gone in 2016. Anyone wanna bet that it’s true?
Them Jewish boys, always inventing new ways to present Westerners as evil. They used to declare that the Soviet Union would vastly outproduce the West, creating a “land of plenty”. When the Soviet economy failed, they switched to environmentalism and racism to attack the West. Technology, the West’s greatest achievement, was blackened for creating pollution – with no word about the fact that Eastern Europe and other communist countries created the greatest environmental catastrophe of all time. This is the real reason behind the Left’s fake environmentalism. Suddenly Third Worlders are not failures for not inventing science – no, they are morally superior, because science leads to technology and pollution, whereas Third Worlders “chose” to “live in harmony with nature”.
Speaking of Al Gore, he took the money he got for his part in the propaganda drive and built an electricity-guzzling mansion by the coast, the area which he had claimed would be under water within five years.
The Chosen are perverse are they not?
lozlolzolzolzolzozlzolzolzolzol
Push/Pull is flirting for sociopaths
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2014/04/15/hookinguprealities/push-pull-is-flirting-for-sociopaths/
I’m not too concerned about the size of his house.
Just the lack of empirical evidence at this point.
Even if the worst case is true, what is the worst that will happen? New Orleans gets cleansed? Harlem floods? Lagos goes under?
Who gives a flying fuck? The Dutch will fine, Copenhagen will go on…
chicks dig a sociopath. (too easy)
1.
If the face bothers you it will get worse.
2.
She’s probably above your station and she knows it. At least she wants you though. At this point you are doomed.
Perhaps become a bitter racist around her?
[CH: a happy racist is better.]
Or show a dark side?
This will make her rethink but still keep her interested.
3.
Text only. No snapshit.
Racism is a whole level of manipulation too. It ties her to you but also repels.
Apparently, Kansas has a black guy named Mohammed Pedro Whitaker. Great. Just what could go wrong?
We need a good flood.
Our people will do fine. The rest? Fuck’em all.
#1: I suppose it’s possible you’ll meet someone with all of her virtues, and a ‘better’ face. And it’s likely that you won’t, so dropping her is only a good idea if you’re ambivalent about getting locked down in principle, or if you are feeling lucky in regard to future options, or if a great face is more important to you than all her other virtues. My opinion is that even a model-caliber face becomes familiar (essentially, plain) after six months, but I’m just talking about myself in this regard.
#2: Recess is over, the playground is closing. Or, she sounds like cash, not even a short-term security. Then again, maybe you enjoy having women say “I have the vagina, crawl over here and entertain me.”
All this shit has me so confused.
I’ve come across so many hot girls that consistently have sex with you but then do a 180. Most of the time because another guy is in the picture im assuming. or maybe you made a bigtime fuck up in some way. but i don’t get it. if you consistently have sex with someone wouldn’t you want to stay with them and want more and stay together to develop things. I get that young girls have options. Obviously i get bored of any pussy after you see it so often, but id still rather have some sort of girl to be with.as long as shes hot; i would rather have that connection than sleeping around. I don’t understand how these 180s are so easy….
And after hearing of so many stories and horror stories with relationships, I have absolutely no idea how my mother and father have been married for 35 years. My mom is still attractive for her age; my dad not so much. i don’t get it.
“I’ve come across so many hot girls that consistently have sex with you but then do a 180.”
You’re not going to like the answer to your question. The hot chick will have sex with you because SEX. But when she finds a better LTR/Hubby prospect, she’ll ditch you. Cold, but that’s the female prerogative kicking in. (No colder, by the way, than “id still rather have some sort of girl to be with.as long as shes hot“. You’re shallow, yet you complain when she dumps you for someone deeper.
If you don’t want women to ditch you, become a better long-term prospect. Or don’t bother, screw around in the meantime, and wait till you’re older, wealthier and become daddy-bait for the Desperate Mommy Wannabes (age 30+). Then you can have your pick of the faded Hot Chicks.
Have fun.
Re: Email #1-
Anyone who asks for advice on some kind of major binary decision like that just ends up doing what they were going to do anyway, but I’ve gotta say if you do end up breaking it off, choose the “ripping off a Band Aid” method. The alternatives are cruel and idiotic. If you just break off contact, for all she knows you could’ve died in a car crash… and if she’s as drunk in love with you as it seems, she’ll probably resort to that explanation.
Director, the point is the hypocrisy of it all. Gore gets rich by working as a tool for the producers of “An Inconvenient Truth”, and by keeping up a tune singing how bad Westerners are for consuming electricity, then gets a house like that. And it’s right by the shore. When part of his claim was that both polar ice caps would melt within five years (that would have been in 2012, then) and the ocean level would rise six feet. How odd that he builds a house right where he claimed the ocean would swallow everything. Almost as if everything he said to get rich was a complete lie.
Well, lying pays off. Fatty also divorced his wife and got a new girlfriend last year, at least a decade younger than himself and his ex. He knows how to use his money. They are so predictable, these socialists.
Email #2 Update
I really appreciate the advice. It is amazing how spot on you guys were. So the first thing is that I did see her that night and I acted like the slight smartass comment never happened earlier in the day. I have become much less invested in her with my long and responsive texts. And that as well as the blowup and me going dark at the beginning of the week certainly did contribute to her improving her attitude and being more sexual and affectionate. Matter of fact the sex was amazing last night.
She gives great head as it is. And she goes right for my cock like a hungry animal. I never have to ask her to do that. So that part is good. But I fear there is much more that needs to be done and I am not so sure it is going to get done as many of you guys said .
We talked at dinner last night and we got into a discussion about exes. I am married by the way and she is my mistress and she knows about my wife. Not a problem for her at least not yet. So she tells this story about an ex that broke her heart and how it deeply affected her and it was amazing how she described This dude and he was a natural alpha to a tee. I even asked her at one point what were you doing with this dude that was a drug dealer? And she said so nonchalantly “hes a bad boy…all pretty girls like bad boys” like it was a given.
She comes from a large tight knit family and was a competitive cheerleader, gymnast and all those other popular things in high school. But she has this whole other side of her that is attracted to the rough or bad elements of society. In addition to this she has a mouth on her. Lots of cussing, and no filter so she says whatever is on her mind. And there are daddy issues. She is estranged from her dad.
Another thing that is interesting is that I am working on my beta bullshit programming and I stopped the trying to impress women a while ago. I don’t brag or even talk about myself that much. Try to keep it as mysterious as possible. But every time I do talk about something that happened or a story or something. She will very casually start to tell me a story about a guy friend of hers that did this thing or that thing and is richer or bigger or better. But in a very subtle way. Not in my face but it is.
Not sure how to take this or what it means.
Also when you recommend walking away I am on that the next time I need to do it. But I have to ask. Do you just go dark? And for how long? How do you know when enough is enough? I think you guys may be correct that I am on the hamster wheel. But I am trying to put into place the behaviors and mindset to get off of it. And I do accept the fact that I will go with no pussy than put up with her shit. Not so sure about the age differential you guys talk about is such a problem. There are quite a few young women out there that not only date older men but are very attracted to them. Actually this is almost an entire subculture due to all the broken families and shitty fathers out there.(remember what Chris Rock said…”your job as a father is to keep your daughter off the pole”)
And by the way I do have a couple of prospects that I am going to start working on. For the kitty. Neither one of them is as hot. But they both have really nice bodies and should be good to fuck. ONe is 35 and the other is 41. Start getting some plates spinning. But how do I work this into the the current relationship? How do I let her know about these other women? I want to create the tension needed in this relationship without ending it completely.
Thanks for the help brothers.
One last update. I suggested to her this morning that we get together for a quickie before she goes to work this afternoon. She happily agreed and was on time. A unique thing for her. We went to the hotel and it was not just fun it was awesome. The sex was two hours of real passion. If anything the application of game does make these women much more sexually responsive. No bullshit from her. I had fun teasing her. I asked her about a pimple she had on her face. lol Just to keep good tension going.
So what do you brothers think. She sure looks and acts like she is come around at least some. Do you think I am right or do I have a lot more work to do?
phony inter-cracker conflict is phony.
If women use make up at mainstream and men not, is because physical beauty is more important to them, amazing how a plain girl can look a lot prettier with it, make up is like putting flowers in your face to hide the plainness ,however I think men should accepted to use make up to a smaller degree, dunno, men also should have their right to looker prettier than they are
Depends on when you want to dump her.
Happy racist gets what he wants, bitter racist frightens off girl.
Well at least they’re childless.
Fucking A, is the Treeful Nesting just completely broken down at this point?
@heartiste: When you are young and you have the option to live with two or so other alpha males (say renting an apartment or a house) or having your own apartment, which is more beneficial from a sexual market standpoint?
Living with other guys gives you the opportunity to have cool house parties and random events and what not. Which, would be sweet but i would have access to those types of parties either way most likely. however, having your own place allows you not to be out-alpha’ed by roommates and it allows for easier isolation/louder sex etc. with a woman when you are one on one….
Basically what is the ideal living situation (all aspects) for when you are in your 20s.
Thoughts
The next time a “wait-person” has trouble speaking English (because they are an illiterate Mexican peasant hired by the establishment for corrupt reasons) start screaming at them in German. Call them a pedophile-shit-eater, or even worse if you remember it. Scream it out loud so everyone will know that you are not pleased. Although they will not know anything else about what is going on.
Turn about is fair play.
I’ve had experiences with letters #1 and #2.
With #1 I met a cute divorced teachers around Christmas from OKC. I gamed her, banged her. Then she started getting super demanding and clingy without offering anything tantalizing enough to keep me that interested: she couldn’t cook, didn’t dance or wasn’t a big enough of a head turner for me to want to be exclusive again after my break up with my crazy ex gf.
So I ran game, was vague, banged her, texted one word responses and it only made her want me more.
Then she sent me a kind of ‘break-up’ text about how we were so different and she wanted more. It was more ultimatum than break up text.
I ignored it for a week then sent some vague non-sequitor. She told me I was so “aloof” and “detatched” and wished she could be more like that. It’s interesting because I often feel i’m too emotionally invested so again it brings up the maxim that how you act, so you will become. Act cool and you’ll be cool.
I basically broke up with her just by disappearing. It was great.
For email #2….this is the married guy pining away for the 26 year old. But as you’ll all know from my various epistles on my crazy ex gf.
After her disastrous break up the one good thing I did was disappear. But I did re-engage twice with ultimatums which of course….was FUCKING RETARDED game.
So I manned up, told her to fuck off and truly did disappear.
Of course I still have feelings for her, but these are more about my ego than anything else. What normal alpha guy would want to be with a flakey manipulator?
So it’s now 3 months exactly since my last contact. I saw her the other night in passing at a class. She was leaving as I was coming in. She was stone-faced. I actually didn’t notice her right away so was social, chatting and gaming various girls and greeting the teachers who are friends of mine. I turned around to see stone-faced bitch.
The “soft-next” that YaReally referred me to was NEVER about “punishing”…you do that and you lose. You’re investing in an outcome that may never happen.
Also…by punishing you’re also setting yourself up for the kind of chick revenge that you can never match. That stuff about “A woman scorned…” is true.
With this girl I was 90% alpha and beta backslid after the break up. You can recover if you follow that advice in the Original Post.
I read somewhere that many of us guys who fall for these socio-paths have been raised to hide our feelings and never embrace those darker elements of our personality—getting angry (appropriately) telling a girl it’s not working and leave, telling a bratty girl to fuck off and walking away—because we were taught it isn’t “nice”….
But those coping skills don’t work in the Sexual Market Place.
So I dumped first chick by never being beta with her..i got dumped by second chick and regained my balls by walking away and reframing the break up on my terms.
thread winner aint life winner 😉
you are being manipulated by a female concoction called “male honor”. that gets you fucked up kids dude.
sound like you are good looking but zero game.
that shit will leave you utterly destroyed by oh….40?
chicks never choose the most attractive guy the CAN, they choose the most attractive guy in FRONT OF THEM.
they can’t think long term.
never be the least attractive of three guys……you sound beta, so either do your own thing, or settle for the toss off poon.
god you are so mad about absolutely nothing that matters.
take up golf?
#1 why break it off? When she initiates the full court press for commitment – have your cake and eat it too – brutal honesty…
“I really like you, but I’m not ready to settle down, yet.”
“I’m not sure exactly what I really want out of a marriage…” (and NO! DO NOT GO THERE for real, at least until the Marriage 2.0 laws are reformed…)
you get the idea…you are willing to commit, but not right now…
put her into rotation, and get some more plates spinning. don’t let go of this one until you have at least two more into rotation… (just like a woman would do…) don’t get stuck in the “blue pill, only one woman for every man” paradigm. you don’t need to let her go before you find someone else.
of course, there isn’t an age given, so that might complicate things a bit – if she’s right at the wall, she might be more desperate to lock him down – but that just means he can spin her into an FB and avoid that commitment anyway…
“i’m not up for commitment, right now, but you deserve somebody nice. i can help you look…what’s your OKCupid ad look like? let’s work on it together…”
#2 he lost the “me, me, me…what’s in it for me” mindset and got lost in her frame…
go dark, spin more plates, ping in 3-4 months…
“More shit tests so I got to the point where I told her she needed to respect me otherwise I am gone. Well it did not work.” more doing, less talking…
“So then I wait a while and send her a text back saying call me…she sends back “I have the vagina you call me…”
– “what else ya got?”
– “wat? yours can dial?”
“I sent a lol and I called her.”
– should have texted “bring da movies…”
#3 interesting idea: ping on tinder, neg with a couple/series of playful snap chats, move to “flats or heels” type texting game and close on a “day 2′ instadate…just make sure to have those logistics worked out …
read here (for strategy and workable tips – including how to approach other women…”I was jus’ flirtin’, yo!”), Rational Male (for underlying theory), and MMSL for how to work it out in a marriage/LTR.
basic point – be willing to walk away, no matter what the cost or consequences…
@tilikum I’m not that good looking I have a muscular body but 6.5 maybe face. I always have a tough time transitioning to LTR in an alpha way. I struggle with the whole “define the relationship” and if that’s a long term good idea
one-one thousand…two one thousand…
No no, don’t be raysis’, Directah. Wez be all equalz. Jus’ look at this video:
(Thanks, CH’s Twitter feed) “Sorry the first half of the debate was recorded over. My apologize.” LOL Such incompetence, and not even able to spell “apologies”. And this is supposed to be a college debate. Then you see the, ahem, “debate”, and you realize that the incompetence in that first message is symbolic for the whole thing. The funny thing is, they don’t seem to realize how dumb they look. They are probably proud of how they can talk in a loud, fast and aggressive way, thinking that means they “win”.
This one is a keeper. Just like that video of the Black rasta cop instructing a classroom full of kids about gun safety: “I’m the only one in this room professional enough, that I know of, to handle this gun.” BLAM!
Shoots himself in the foot. And after he got fired, he tried to sue the police.
My Mothers given name was Berte Lorena .Kellerin…. Just another made up name for red neck girl.
The ice is 5 miles thick in places in Antartica. I think the sun would have to go red giant for it to melt that fast.
Turn on nested comments. Who cares if GBFM posts at the top? Just skip over him. How can you discuss anything without a reply function? It’s just disconnected comments.
Ding dong, the nesting’s dead!
Email #2 Update
“She gives great head as it is. And she goes right for my cock like a hungry animal. I never have to ask her to do that. So that part is good. But I fear there is much more that needs to be done and I am not so sure it is going to get done as many of you guys said .” [if she’s still giving you great head, it’s not too late…unless she has you lined up as a beta provider, and is just work her plan…]
We talked at dinner last night [did she pay?] and we got into a discussion about exes. I am married by the way and she is my mistress [and you let her give you attitude? are you seeing her as future wife number x? or just a toy?…] and she knows about my wife. [why shouldn’t she know…] Not a problem for her at least not yet. [do you really seek her approval that much?…] So she tells this story about an ex that broke her heart and how it deeply affected her and it was amazing how she described This dude and he was a natural alpha to a tee. I even asked her at one point what were you doing with this dude that was a drug dealer? And she said so nonchalantly “hes a bad boy…all pretty girls like bad boys” like it was a given. [do you feel the beta orbiter love, yet?]
She comes from a large tight knit family and was a competitive cheerleader, gymnast and all those other popular things in high school. But she has this whole other side of her that is attracted to the rough or bad elements of society. [that’s hypergamy in action…alpha fux/beta buds…where do you fall on this paradigm?] In addition to this she has a mouth on her. Lots of cussing, and no filter so she says whatever is on her mind. And there are daddy issues. She is estranged from her dad. [so, she needs support?…]
Another thing that is interesting is that I am working on my beta bullshit programming and I stopped the trying to impress women a while ago. I don’t brag or even talk about myself that much. Try to keep it as mysterious as possible. But every time I do talk about something that happened or a story or something. She will very casually start to tell me a story about a guy friend of hers that did this thing or that thing and is richer or bigger or better. But in a very subtle way. Not in my face but it is. [classic shit testing…ignore and change the subject to something else you want to talk about…or stay in that “beta orbit”…]
Not sure how to take this or what it means.
[it means she is constantly testing you…it’s in her programming to search for weakness. don’t take it personally. she doesn’t do it at a conscious level, or maybe she does… she is also going to try to lock you down pretty soon, so be ready for it. you started to break away, and that intrigued her/scared her, but now you are slipping back into beta orbiter/provider mode listening to all her “ex” stories. if she voluntarily sexes you up next week,she’s looking at replacing your current mrs. so be ready for that drama!…]
Also when you recommend walking away I am on that the next time I need to do it. [lol…not with that great head, and “baby, you’re the best! spank me harder…”] But I have to ask. Do you just go dark? [that’s what it means, but you shouldn’t do that here…] And for how long? How do you know when enough is enough? I think you guys may be correct that I am on the hamster wheel. But I am trying to put into place the behaviors and mindset to get off of it. And I do accept the fact that I will go with no pussy than put up with her shit. Not so sure about the age differential you guys talk about is such a problem. [it’s not…unless you get oneitis…] There are quite a few young women out there that not only date older men but are very attracted to them. Actually this is almost an entire subculture due to all the broken families and shitty fathers out there.(remember what Chris Rock said…”your job as a father is to keep your daughter off the pole”)
And by the way I do have a couple of prospects that I am going to start working on. For the kitty. [nope…for practice and for real…escalate to close…why are you saving yourself for your mistress?] Neither one of them is as hot. But they both have really nice bodies and should be good to fuck. ONe is 35 and the other is 41. [why bother?…26…26…26…do i hear 25…25…but if they’re hot, why not? just watch for the commitment press right off the bat…”i don’t do that anymore. i came to my senses and realized i needed a Real Man™. i need commitment…”] Start getting some plates spinning. But how do I work this into the the current relationship? [why do you care if your mistress gets mad?] How do I let her know about these other women? [just let her find out or tell her you have a date…] I want to create the tension needed in this relationship without ending it completely.
Thanks for the help brothers.
One last update. I suggested to her this morning that we get together for a quickie before she goes to work this afternoon. She happily agreed and was on time. A unique thing for her. We went to the hotel and it was not just fun it was awesome. The sex was two hours of real passion. If anything the application of game does make these women much more sexually responsive. No bullshit from her. I had fun teasing her. I asked her about a pimple she had on her face. lol Just to keep good tension going.
“So what do you brothers think. She sure looks and acts like she is come around at least some. [not with all that emotional tampon beta orbiter action about her ex’s she hasn’t…if she was all about you, it would be all about you… ]Do you think I am right or do I have a lot more work to do?” [more work…but this is the right place to be and you are asking the right questions…]
# Email 2 – response: “She will very casually start to tell me a story about a guy friend of hers that did this thing or that thing and is richer or bigger or better. But in a very subtle way. Not in my face but it is. ”
Yup – classic shit-tests. Ignoring it is one way. I started experimenting with a different approach.
After one such comment – I become still, look at her directly and seemingly menacingly and say:”Are you shit-testing me, because that sounds awfully like a shit-test!?” Then she starts to visibly squirm. One even said:”Now I am afraid of you.”
“Good!” I say with a smile and continue as if nothing happened. Hamster happy, man happy.
The funny thing is that many women know instinctively what the word shit-test means even without understanding the full Red-Pill-meaning.
Do not make an ultimatum unless you really, genuinely mean it.
Women know fakes in that regard
To Email #1 The poster is has nice guy syndrome aka “Codependency”. The idea that you feel you’re so important to a person…or girl that by breaking up with her it would kill her is…codependant…it’s projection.
You’re afraid to do this because you’re afraid of it happening to you.
But the fact is as I’ve found recently, pulling back or leaving or breaking up is in many ways an aphrodisiac.
The person doing the break-up is the one with more power.
Nesting structure generates more hits and a larger number of comments because any single comment has the potential to create its own mini-thread.
But nesting can diminish the quality of commenting. It’s easier to let go of petty sniping when you have to go through the trouble of citing an upstream comment and then replying to it. Also on smartphones, third tier comments become to skinny to be readable.
Email #1: How old are you? How old is she? A lot depends on your ages.
The fact that she’s less attractive is a GOOD thing. You’re supposed to be two points above her. She will not mess you about, she will love you, and I can practically guarantee you from emails I’ve received from men who went looking for a better deal, its a toss up. Fifty percent of them went for flash and got burned. You may find something better; you may not. Basically, ask yourself whether you want to be the person in the relationship who loves more or the person who loves less. I’ve come to the conclusion that in every successful relationship there is always one of each. And its got to be the woman who loves more.
Good luck in love,
Kate
“I have the vagina you call me…”
She’s making a play based on Patriarchy rules. Use that to your advantage. “Does your vagina provide beer and make sammiches? If so, I’m cool with calling you.” You want her to be submissive.
RT @LS_Savoy: Want to hear how some #lovesystems pick up artist instructors deliver their opening lines? bit.ly/9UXNJT 12 hours ago
LS also has a relationship management component (I haven’t purchased it, so I’m not exactly sure what it includes) and is now moving into more mentoring, if that will be of use to anyone.
http://demarkate.com/index.php/9-books/28-raised-by-puas
@walawala @yareally
Calling upon the Masters for assistance
I’ve been having my ex-girlfriend as my casual fuckbuddy for a good period of time now. We were broken up about a year ago. Recently, she was introduced to a friend of mine through a casual hangout with me. Hes a decent valued male with alpha characteristics (dated many girls for a period, 20+ lays) and has a girlfriend as of now.
Quite recently I’ve been noticing the ball drop for my part; I’m slowly dropping out of her radar and I’ve noticed signs of attraction for my friend. We hooked up one night (about 2 weeks ago) when she came over drunk after she went to go hang out with my friend and my other friends. I casually mentioned it was kind of weird how she hangs out with my friends after we banged. After that night, the slope became even more slippery where she began to hide the hangouts. We would hangout a few times but not bang. She became more flakey and I saw my value slowly deteriorate. Just recently I took a trip for business and she took a vacation to the same area I was in. However, as I glanced through some pictures via social network she had pictures of just herself in the passenger seat (had a gut feeling something was up). I also saw info being passed through via social network of my friend taking the trip too. I put the puzzle pieces together and figured they went together. I later found out that she also paid for the hotel for 2 nights.
I was fucking pissed and this is where I went wrong. I texted my friend asking how was the trip and if he went with his girlfriend. He said he went with my fuckbuddy because she made him go. I asked passive aggressive questions such as, “you took a trip with her and didnt fuck?” He would deny it and say he has a girlfriend he wouldn’t do that (this guy has been known to be promiscuous). I tried to play it off casually and said, “Im fine with having open relationships blah blah blah..” He told me he stayed there just for a day and went home after but evidently the hotel was booked for 2 nights.
Now, I know as a reader, I have some shit to work on internally, building my value, abundance mentality (as of now I’m probably working from a scarcity mentality), etc to get over her but I’m wondering what are the steps I have to take next? I want to keep her around as a good fuck but this is really fucking me up.
The two options I had in mind were
A. Soft next her (we have classes together so its hard. I was thinking of just casual talk but be busy with other shit.)
B. Fuck her hard, when she comes over induce dread by having another females panties near my bed then soft next
Let me know what you guys think
Giving a girl an ultimatum is just like giving a kid an ultimatum. Most kids ignore ultimatums from their parents, because they know their parents will never follow through.
Tell her what behavior she needs to correct. If she fails to obey, punish her appropriately, if you can. If you can’t actually punish her, then you’re not the one in control of the puppet strings my friend.
As to the guy with the chick who isn’t quite good enough, reading the advice from the “you should get with her anyway” crowd makes me want to scream. Once upon a time I got with a chick who wasn’t that attractive, but had a lot of other stuff going for her.
Yeah, that worked out great. After 20 years, I’m close to having a viable plan how to escape her clutches. I’m trying to work a deal now that’s going to fill my divorce coffers, and then I’m going to move to a different time zone. It should come to fruition in 13 months.
Email 1: Breaking hearts just comes with the territory. I hate this whole “leave her better than you found her” bullshit that these PUAs say. It’s a lie. If she fell for you and you end up dumping her, you’re creating damage goods (i.e an Alpha Widow). But I mean what guy honestly cares about that? Get to pumping and dumping because it is good.
I, personally, go for the direct dump. “Ey, listen. I’ve been seeing someone else and this just isn’t working out for me.” Cue the violins because if she likes you, you’ll see waterworks. If not, she never loved you to begin with or she had some extra dick on the side.
Email 2: I’m going to be straight up with you. Either you have a small penis or you don’t know how to bang her right.
The bigger your penis is, along with the added combination of your supreme sex skills, will equal less shit test from her. If you’re the biggest she’s had, she will become hooked to you. You must pleasure her id. Her reptilian brain rules above all. You’ll know you’re doing it right when she starts calling her pussy a separate entity when you’re talking to her. That’s because she’s thinking with it, on a primal level.
A lot of women and manginas say, “Oh, men! Always thinking with their penises!” Pfft, as if women don’t think with their vaginas. They do.
“I want you to come over and make my pussy happy. It wants you.”
Score, muthafucka!
Email 3:
I use snapchat and while it’s a good tool to show DHV (the story feature), it has its limits. If I go out and I’m having fun, I’ll take pictures with my group every now and then. It’s always mixed; never a sausage fest. This is key to the DHV and once you have this down, some girls will snap you with, “No invite?” or some shit like that. To which you only respond ONCE with the location, via snap. If you snap back and forth and the ho is gonna think you’re not really having a good time. If she’s really about it, she’ll text you that she’s going.
Email 1: I must admit that I am far more attracted to personality than appearance, though the latter is important. She sounds like a dream girl in spite of her average appearance. I have an FWB who is a stunning 27 year old blonde and yet I stopped contact with her to focus all of my energies on my Oneitis–the one that I scared away after I gave away my beta heart to her after she gave me her body. By any tangible measure, she is not as attractive as my FWB, but she held a certain power over my mind. It was her ability to converse and sweet
What if you separated yourself from this girl for about a week or so to find out if you miss her? But ultimately, you don’t want to be tethered to a woman that will not make you totally happy. Perhaps total happiness is a shibboleth and an unattainable unicorn. Just a thought.
Email 2: I am in my early 40s and my FWB is considerably younger than myself. Obviously I’m giddy, but she has set boundaries as to our relationship being restricted to the physical aspect. Just go along for the ride and enjoy the fuck sessions with her. She will disappoint you in regards to having an LTR. Do you need to go through the stress of maintaining long term game with her?
Email 3: Never heard of snapchat. By the time that word gets out that there are a lot of girls on it, a bunch of beta white knight manginas have already infested it, thus poisoning the well so to speak.
@atpan
Although you didn’t ask me, I’ll offer my .02.
1. Easy and classy: Next her and treat her like a sister in class–very courteous and like you all don’t have history.
2. Harder and Dark Triad: Schedule a bang shortly before your ex comes over to hang out. Be nonchalant. She has no exclusivity.
A man knows a good deal when he sees it. A man doesnt pay much heed to his shallow emotions. Not in this era.
A 6.5 with all other great attributes is wife and mother material. All women over 35 plummet to 6 anyway.
Unless youre Christy Turlington.
@judge
How would you rate Suzanne Somers? http://www.suzannesomers.com/
@theasdgamer: Suzanne Somers in her prime was definitely as close to 10 as you can get. Now? Well, I suppose with the right camera angles, makeup and lighting she is about a 6.
Kim du Toit: Big fan of your blog. Too bad you stopped writing.
Hope you’re doing well.
#1: Fish or Cut Bait. Make your peace with the face and live with it.
Or tell yourself there is no such thing as scarcity & slowly fade out on her.
-Perhaps even throw a Beta-turn into the fade-out, so you help change her emotions about you, too.
If you do not turn this into black-or-white and stick with her, you will always resent her, the relationship, and ultimately -yourself.
I’d fade-out on her just on principle because your implicit context seems to be scarcity, anyway.
@ATPan
Re-read your post a few times. “ex gf” “casual fuckbuddy”…you’re fooling yourself with these labels because it makes it easier for HER.
She’s totally running the show here and now you’re freaking out.
You’re throwing out terms like “Soft-next” etc.
This situation is not about tactics on how to win her back…it’s about you figuring out what YOU want and manning up and going for it.
If you want her back…disappear for a while then re-connect and amp it up and make a stand.
If you’re in wishy washy territory, don’t be surprised that she’s also using you as a fuck-buddy but looking out for someone who will give her more of a sense of security.
The problem with “game” tactics is that guys refuse to admit to themselves that there is a time to wrap things up and move on. There’s always the post someone writes about what should I say? What should I text?
I’ve discovered that sometimes the best thing you can say is either nothing…or “fuck off” and commit to walking away for good.
Your oneitis is what’s creating this panic. You’re afraid to lose her and because of the situation you created she’s playing you by hanging out with your friends—all the better to get back at you with.
She sounds like trouble. Dump her by simply disappearing, detox and get her out of your system. Then decide—do you really want her in your life? Probably not.
In my case, I still see my ex gf all the time. She’s now worked out a system of having orbiters ask her to dance at our weekly social. Yes, I suppose I could ask her—but after telling her to fuck off and that I never want to see or hear from her again she’s taken me at my word. It would be far better to be the memory of the guy who turned his back on her than the guy who turned his back…then came back…then got mad again…then changed his mind….finally he walked away.
Hope that helps.
Director
We need a good flood.
Our people will do fine. The rest? Fuck’em all.
—————————————————————————————————-
You might still need a lot of rope because apparently some ni66ers are excellent swimmers. There are jungle bunnies spread out on all these islands in the pacific ocean and they got there before the whiteman even existed.
You might need a spear gun
“This one is a keeper. Just like that video of the Black rasta cop instructing a classroom full of kids about gun safety: “I’m the only one in this room professional enough, that I know of, to handle this gun.” BLAM!”
The funniest thing since Gasbuttox’s comment on Jesus had Game the other day, well close to anyway.
“You might still need a lot of rope because apparently some ni66ers are excellent swimmers. There are jungle bunnies spread out on all these islands in the pacific ocean and they got there before the whiteman even existed.”
Pacific Islanders are big Asians, not really black.