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Here’s a conversation I had with a girl on the night we met. Some details have been redacted to protect the devilish.
Little Lord Lucifer: Go over there and do [X] for me.
Girl: And what would I get out of that?
Little Lord Lucifer: My approval.
Girl: (waits a beat, audibly snorts) Your approval! What does that even mean?
Little Lord Lucifer: It means exactly what it sounds like.
Twenty seconds of me warmly smiling and her accusing me of being “full of it” and “a psycho” elapse. Suddenly, she looks at me with widened eyes, her mouth opens a little, she cocks her head, and gets up to do [X]. She returns, mission accomplished.
Girl: (with feigned deference) Did I perform to your expectations, oh great one?
Little Lord Lucifer: Yes. Thanks. I approve.
Girl: (sarcastically) Oh, I am SO relieved to be in your good graces!
Now, there’s a couple sociosexual dynamics going on here. There’s the obvious one that she did the thing I asked of her. Sarcastic intent notwithstanding to the contrary, I raised a hoop and she jumped through it. All that her consent required was my rock-solid frame and confidence that she would do it. Overconfidence is the heart of game.
Two, even when humorous or sarcastic intent guides a woman’s compliance — as if she was role-playing for the amusement of both of you — the physical motions of going through with the request will generate real feelings in her of slightly lower value and submission to a higher value man. This phenomenon is like the inverse of power poses, where instead of elevating one’s confidence and self-assurance through behavioral cues, one evokes feelings of submission and deference through “powerlessness poses.”
All of this psychological legerdemain acts on the abacus of subconscious mate evaluation. PUAs call it subcommunication, and it’s a powerful, if mischievous, means of strengthening attraction in women.