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If a woman you know isn’t having sex with you, it pays to be cognizant of signs that she’s using you for emotional or material support. You may not want to be used in this manner, so knowing her intention is half the battle. Even if you don’t want sex with her, you may also be uninterested in serving as an emotional sponge which she can fill with her tears.

Sexlessness is a necessary but not sufficient condition for female exploitation of male friends, but since most men want to bang their female friends, the unreciprocated desire for sex is enough for afflicted men to feel as if they’re being exploited, regardless of the purity of their female friends’ intentions. It is thus in these men’s interests, and for their mental health, to know when they’re giving above and beyond the call of a casual friend and not getting what they want in return, so that they can exit stage right while they still have a shred of dignity left to preserve.

The lure of prime vagina can cloud the most perspicacious men’s minds, so one must devote pointed mental energy to noticing any signs that a woman is using him for friendship without benefits. In my travels across these blown-out post-patriarchy lands, I’ve seen dicksploitation that would shrivel an elephant’s nads. The following list is a summary of the most common methods I’ve observed women employ to snare betas into unwitting friendzone or house eunuch arrangements.

The top five signs a woman is using you, in no particular order of certitude:

1. She’s a single mom.

That’s all. Single mommery is not just a promise of emotional manipulation, it’s a guarantee. The single mom in your life could be the kindest, most generous woman alive, but she’ll be unable to resist the succubus song of her sex’s prime directive: Extract resources from an available male to help her lil’ bastards survive. If a single mom becomes entangled in your life, it won’t be long before you’re shuttling her sprog to soccer games and sex ed classes. Many single moms instinctively know how repelled men are at the thought of raising another man’s issue, so these half-moms often pay their hapless beta volunteers in pellets of post-partum poon. Assuming attractiveness thresholds are reached, this is all well and good… until about three weeks in when, rubbing your knee after having tripped over yet another infernal toy on your way to the sexroom, mommy coyly wonders aloud if… oh never mind… what? what?… oh, it’s just that it would be a really big help if [robe opens to reveal one breast]… yes?… [uptalk alert] if you could take little Sarah to school tomorrow morning so I can get ready for a job interview?

And by then, it’s too late. She has her hooks in you. My advice: Single moms are short-term sex aids. Get in and get out before a fortnight has passed.

2. She’s a flirtatious flake.

Don’t confuse a flake for a flirtatious flake. The latter is FAR more dangerous. The flake is usually a one and done deal. She flakes, you never hear from her again. The flirtatious flake will reinitiate contact on a regular basis, filling you with renewed hope every time your phone buzzes with her latest ego-stroking scam. The dead giveaway of the flirtatious flake is the phony joy she exudes when anticipating the date you proposed — “can’t wait! c u then!!!” — which is followed by an abrupt last-minute cancellation. A few days later you’ll hear from her again, in full apologetics mode, and the cycle begins anew. If she has a real sucker in her hands, she’ll get you to meet her out with friends and buy everyone rounds of drinks… and you’ll leave later, with dry crotch and empty wallet, wondering if what you just experienced was an actual date or a group hug. Hint: It wasn’t a date.

3. She’s a date whore.

This is the girl who muscles in on the man’s prerogative to choose the date venue. She likes dating; she doesn’t much like sex with the types of men who will agree to her demands for endless dating. No matter what date you suggest, she’ll counter-offer with something that will invariably cost you more money. “Oh hey, I read about this new play downtown… I’d love it if you went with me?” Of course, there’s no logical procession from her date suggestion to her paying her way. If you agree to whatever exorbitantly priced scheme she has in mind, you’re stuck coughing up the cash. Unless you’re a total asshole (ahem) and slip out the back Jack, when Jill gets the bill.

There are two ways to smoke out a nascent golddigger: 1. Absolutely demand she meet you for drinks at your favorite cheap dive bar. If she balks or, worse, if she goes but sulks all night while trying to bounce you to a pricier venue, you’ll have evidence that she’s a user of losers. 2. Suggest an outrageously expensive date idea. If she jumps at the chance after having spent weeks evading your efforts to meet up with her, she plays tools for fools. Don’t try to stick it out with her; if you think sex is “just around the corner”, that’s a corner that never ends.

4. She likes to play “Let’s you and him fight”.

Some girls love to incite white knight theatrics. They get a rush from manipulating dupes to fight other men for their sake. These girls typically have very high tolerances for drama, so it takes a lot to rev their egos. The spectacle of a betaboy friend confronting another man for the approval of a fair maiden is too delicious to these women to pass up. If you find yourself precariously edging toward such situations every time you’re out with a girl, take it as a given she’s using you for emotional orgasms. And those are the least interesting orgasms from a man’s perspective.

Women can also play the “let’s you and him fight” game with invisible ex-boyfriends. She’ll insert an ex into the conversation as a psychological combatant to measure your response. It’s crisis and observation, and if you don’t dismiss her ploy out of hand, you always come out the losing party. Women who bitch and moan about exes on dates aren’t really needing your “support”; what they need is to see what kind of man you are.

5. She’s a self-made martyr.

The old damsel in distress scam. “Pity poor me! My ex/BFF/pimp did this horrible thing to me, and now I don’t know what to do… [bats eyelashes]… maybe you can help?” Beware the walking sob story. She’s a predator who strikes at men’s weakest access point: Their protective instinct. Many a beta chump has been swindled to do the bidding of a doe-eyed martyr expertly wielding the distant reward of sex. These women know that many betas nourish a powerful fantasy of winning the girl through acts of heroism and sacrifice, and they exploit that delusion mercilessly.

If you’re dealing with a self-made martyr, resist the urge to be a Captain Save-a-Ho. Remember the First Rule of Fuck Club: Fuck first, favors later. Sex can always be followed by favors, if you wish. But favors are rarely followed by sex. Get your priorities straight.

Bonus!

Top five signs she’s a true friend and not just using you.

1. She brings her own drugs to share.
2. She pays for the first round, and insists on alternating after that.
3. She never mentions ex-boyfriends or family problems on dates.
4. If you ask her about an ex, she’ll say you don’t want to hear about it, and mean it.
5. She genuinely surprises you with unexpected gifts, because she remembers that time you did something for her.

Double Bonus Round!

How to turn a friendzone to your sexual advantage.

Preemptively friendzone the girl if you suspect she has similar designs. Getting the LJBF jump on a girl will seriously fuck with her mental toolkit. Expectations UPTURNED! Sense her attraction isn’t quite “there” yet? Worried she might try to insert you into her group of friends as the reality of your animal desire looms? Tell her, “I like hanging out with you, because there’s no pressure. It’s good that I’m not interested in you that way.”

A preemptive friendzone is a sucker punch to a girl’s ego. What was once her romantic inertia will become her raging curiosity. “This guy just wants to be… friends?!?” Humor her attempts to drag love interests and exes into conversations. In fact, ask her for more juicy gossip, because you like hearing about all the guys who fall for her tricks. Agree & amplify. Brag about yourself, because now you’re no longer “trying” to impress her. Exaggerate your indifference to her sexuality; “I’m glad we can be this physical because it doesn’t mean anything.” Play it cool and play it with sincerity, and you can energize the sexual tension until such time that you decide you’ve “had a change of heart” about her. It’s the rare woman indeed who doesn’t fall for this convenient about face. Proceed to plunder at will.

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